I was not born in the country I am living in now

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Laying in bed at a friends place with your eyes closed imaging where you would end up if you got up and went to the toilet as if it was your own house.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..

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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

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If I get lost while driving, the first thing I do is turn down the radio.

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When posting these, I'm rarely able to read the words/letters in the box that prove you're human and not some computer virus. Now I'm starting to think I'm not a human......

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When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing.

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Sometimes when I go to a drive in restaurant, and get an order of fries, I empty the bag out, and there are a few fries in the bottom of the bag. I Enjoy those the most, as I feel they were free

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I sleep in my underpants every single night

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dip my fries in ice cream! sometimes in soda. It's good!

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A mix of Slenderman and Herobrine would be the ideal husband for me. >:)

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make it a point of interest to know every word to a song that nobody likes. (i.e. call me maybe) >.>

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Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

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Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

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My brother (who is 2 years younger) and I have our own language, consisting of movie quotes and silly stuff we made up when we were little. We speak it with abandon when we're alone, and try as hard as we can to suppress it when we're with a friend. But sometimes some of it slips out, and the friend looks at us like he's the guy who isn't in on the joke; I always get the feeling he or she thinks the two of us are crazy. By the way, if you're the third person in company with two close siblings who are speaking their own secret language, don't ask them to explain or look at them like they're crazy. They're not nuts, and you won't understand, even if they try to explain. Just let it pass.

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imagine killing someone by accident and feeling really guilty about it.

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when i piss in the toilet, i flush half way through and race the toilet to the finish.

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Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

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I sometimes watch entire movies with the sound off and a good album playing.

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Feeling sorry for objects to throw away!! Haha anyone els?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.