judge a spider on it's ability to hide from me and decide to let it survive if I consider it a clever hiding place, then get paranoid because the spider was smart.

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in a grocery store, only walking on the colored single tiles the entire time your in there pretending there small cliffs without touching the white one otherwise you fall and fail.

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i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

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Videotape my mother in the shower.

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only read the short jokes on this website

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test how many stares you can scale in one step

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forget to breathe while listening to ear buds too loudly.

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go to the search engine suggestions and see what people found, then type them in to see if you get the same results

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I keep on trying to imagine how long eternity is for when I go to Heaven. It never ends...

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Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

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jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

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I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

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Realizing that I can just yell out the word "Fuck!" and no one can stop me.

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(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

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No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

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Think what would I be doing if I was someone else

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Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

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when im in the toilet and invent something in my mind and dont have a pen and paper to wright my invention and when im done i forget about it...

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carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

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Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

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Somethings thinking: O God, I love this world.

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Whenever I finish reading a book, I feel a great sense of achievement.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.