- Things You Think Only You Do

I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

Use the toilet shower to wipe your a**, but denies the fact until death for your friends.

Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

when passing someone in a car beside you, you try to wonder where they are going just by looking at them, their clothes or their expressions

listen to madonnas new album

I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

Cheak the fridge every 5 minuets waiting for food to just "magicly" appear

getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

Watch peoples body language and see if they're on the same pace of thought as i am and then try to speed up my thinking to pretend or act like I am realizing something they are not.

Tap my fingers really rapidly when I'm annoyed, stressed out, fed up or angry.

Whenever Terminator 2 is on tv, I become enthralled and can't stop watching even though I've seen it a million times.

I **** with no hands.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.