- Things You Think Only You Do

I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

Air guitar to a song of how you think it would be on a Guitar Hero game.

Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

Do a little half laugh, then when someone looks at you, you realise that it wasn't even funny so you pretend to be clearing your throat.

Sitting on a toilet in a public bathroom and staying silent until everyone leaves, so you do not feel the embarrassment

When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

Think that my ice tastes different than my water.

Read things from this page and think to self: "Thank God, I thought I was the only one."

I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

When I am bored and home alone, I sometimes try to recreate the most annoying sound in the world from Dumb and Dumber. (P.S. Sorry if this was already submitted, I didn't see it.)

When standing in long lines (stores, banks etc..) I think about how other people would react if I puked all over the place with no warning.

I chew my ice cream.

When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

Turn off light in bed... notice something you haven't seen before. IT'S SLENDERMAN You turn the light back on and realized it was a lamp

Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

When it's as quiet as possible in the classroom in the middle of the period and everyone is silently doing their work.... I suddenly think of something REALLY funny and spend the next half hour awkwardly grinning trying my hardest not to burst out uncontrollably.

Try stick to something but fail in the end

Trying to figure out what form of suicide would hurt the least.

Blink and pretend that you just took a picture with your eyes.

I pee on the bathroom sink everytime, because I am lazy to open the toilet, even when I visit other people, sorry friends and family =)

When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

Hthe temptation to go up on the roof but when u get to where u go out get freaked and run away

When im alone in my car i talk to myself about lifes issues

i absolutely hate the number nine, and when i told my brother this i was like "sometimes i wish i could delete the number 9" and hes like "but then youd have 9 numbers" and i was like..... "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.