When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

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Turn off light in bed... notice something you haven't seen before. IT'S SLENDERMAN You turn the light back on and realized it was a lamp

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When watching TV shows, I always think about what I would have done differently if I was the character in that particular situation.

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I think any disasterous accidents will not happen to me.

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Sometimes, when I'm at work, I j3rk 0ff in the bathroom. Please tell me someone else has done this????

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I am a masculine guy but in private I listen to very sensitive songs. ie: careless wispers

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I like to watch people and imagine different stories that could explain why they're doing whatever it is that their doing.

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put wood glue on my hand, blow it dry and peel it off to make fake skin

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I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

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Guessing on those annoying Captcha things and then getting unnecessarily angry when it tells you you're wrong.

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cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

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Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

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Think long and hard about something but then realise you don't care

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Criticize a porn novel for its poor use of the English language

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taking your t shirt or sweatshirt off quickly so nothing gets you while its over your face

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Wake up after a dream. About a day later you think about if it was real or not.

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I stick used soap to a new soap so I don't waste it.

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Sometimes at a red light, I like to look at the person driving next to me and if they look towards me I quickly turn around and pretend I wasn't looking at them.

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I wonder if elections are rigged?

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When I wake up after having a good dream I try to remember it but I don't

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When I look at a clear blue sky, I'm convinced that I see little tiny floaty things, and think that I'm seeing air molecules.

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Sometime when I'm alone, I like to fill my bathtub with marinara sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.

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Everytime my sibling starts a sentance with "I remember when","I have an idea"etc.,I get up and walk out.

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Walking around on the streets wondering if you are really walking in place, and the earth is spinning according to how you walk, like a treadmill.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.