poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

I love the tingly feeling you get when youve shifted after realizing you arm, leg, hand, etc. has gone numb. am i the only one?

Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

You see someone do something cool and imagine doing it in front of all your friends

Laying in bed at a friends place with your eyes closed imaging where you would end up if you got up and went to the toilet as if it was your own house.

Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

I have a phobia of incest

Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

Run faster down hotel corridors.

If I get lost while driving, the first thing I do is turn down the radio.

Become self-conscious and wonder if you were making faces while day dreaming during the middle of class.

Sometimes I feel that my reflection in the mirror will stop doing what I'm doing and either jump out and grab me, start telling me about her reflected life, or give me a mission to free her from her mirror life.

masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.

Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.