feel like your calculator is judging/making fun of you for looking up simple equations

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A mix of Slenderman and Herobrine would be the ideal husband for me. >:)

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I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

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Feeling sorry for objects to throw away!! Haha anyone els?

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Realized with 7 billion people, there is a chance that someone else on earth is doing exactly the same thing as me at any given time.

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That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

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Glance at your friend beside you, smile to yourself, and think, "I could murder them."

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try to make myself sneeze because I like the feeling I get when I do

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When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

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I love touching, squeezing and occasionally biting my dog's (read: any dog's) muzzle. I love the texture and the gummy-ness. I also love how pissed he gets when I do it and sneezes after.

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Love the natural smell of my dog's paws.

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You look over the edge of a tall building/structure, and have that sudden urge to jump off.

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Tryng to run away from, or at least be faster than my shadow.

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When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

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When you have a stuffy nose, and you put tissue in one nostril so you can breathe.

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You always go to the corner of the shower when the cold water is running.

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I scratch and sniff.

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Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

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Put the towel near the shower so that you can stand on it and not get the floor wet

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turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

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cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

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I randomly hold my boobs in my room.

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How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.