After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

I drive in the car then suddenly awake from a day dream and realize ive driven for the last 4 miles with no recollection of the journey.

acting as if you can shoot with a banana

I can only play a piano with my right hand

I always ask myself "Why am I me?". But have never come up with a good answer.

Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

Get turned on when you see a girl yawn

Smoking in the shower.

Drink alcohol out of styrofoam soda cups on the bus and train.

You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

Use the toilet shower to wipe your a**, but denies the fact until death for your friends.

walking up steps in the dark and you think you've gotten to the top but there's actually one more step and you panic because you think your going to fall

I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said

(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

listen to madonnas new album

Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

Having more dificulty thinking in your native language than your 2nd or 3rd one. Or 4th one. Or... the rest. I highly doubt that one's common.

Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

when you pick up something you think is going to be heavy and its like you suddenly have super strength

I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

I love the tingly feeling you get when youve shifted after realizing you arm, leg, hand, etc. has gone numb. am i the only one?

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.