The volume level on my TV has to be either an even number or a multiple of five.

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When in a public toilet, I never leave the cubicle until everyone is either out of the room or in their own cubicle.

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I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

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Find myself thinking a completely random meaningless sentence as I'm falling asleep with no idea how I got to that thought.

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Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

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Whenever on a car ride, pretend you are in a military convoy and shoot at pursuing helicopters and soldiers.

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Knowing and feeling that the whole world is out to get me............ And only me......... I know.......... Weird right??????

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Before going to bed look around the dark room and when you see something suspicious you have a look to see its not a person

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When ever i watch a movie with my parents i hope to god there is no nudity or awkward sex talk

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I flush the toilet if the water's green and I'm going to have a poo, so it doesn't splash me.

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That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

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After eating a sandwich, eat the leftover sesame seeds one-by-one.

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When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

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I don't read the terms of service.

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Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

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Look in the fridge 10 times without eating anything

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I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

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If my SOLVE media is too long I refresh it to give me a shorter one

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I say that girl's name I have a crush on right before I go to sleep because I want her to be the last thing I think about, and then wake up realizing that it was super creepy... Only to do it again the next night

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Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

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I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

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(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

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forget to breathe while listening to ear buds too loudly.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.