I sleep in my underpants every single night

Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

A mix of Slenderman and Herobrine would be the ideal husband for me. >:)

Hate when people ask "do you have a bathroom?" It's like "no we crap in the yard!"

I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

get happy as sh*t when you remember your homework is do after your lunch period so you can do it then, but never end up doing it.

Sometimes I get annoyed when I realize none of my friends ever eat vegetables or drink anything but sugary soda`s and are somehow as healthy, sometimes even healthier than me.

whenever i'm holding a kitchen knife, i feel super weird like i'm gonna stab someone.... its not like i would ever do that, but i think about what would happen if i just impaled the person that is standing near me with a huge knife.

Thinking that out there, on this earth in a lost city, there is an awesome clone of you.

When at Burger King, McDonalds etc. I always finish the drink before the food so that I still have the taste of the food in my mouth when I'm finished.

If I'm at work and have to poop, when I get in the stall I look under the opening at the bottom for any other feet in the other stalls to make sure I am alone. I always think what if when I do that someone else does it at the same time.

Turn off light in bed... notice something you haven't seen before. IT'S SLENDERMAN You turn the light back on and realized it was a lamp

Sing along to the radio in the car then stop at a red light when you realize other people can see you more easily.

cussing someone out on a video game only to realize that your mic is off

watch lesbian porn instead of normal because you hate have other men in the picture

Save more than once on your favourite game.

My login password is INCORRECT so if I forget it my computer will say "your password is incorrect"

When im alone in my car i talk to myself about lifes issues

i absolutely hate the number nine, and when i told my brother this i was like "sometimes i wish i could delete the number 9" and hes like "but then youd have 9 numbers" and i was like..... "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

When i talk i say i like how or i hate that.

When I have my headphones in, and I'm miming the words to a song in the bathroom pretending that I'm playing a gig. I put the tap on to make sure no one hears me dancing.

Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

Criticize a porn novel for its poor use of the English language

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.