i masturbate with my feet

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I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

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Believing in the kindness of strangers

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Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

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Make calculations with house number. Eg: House nº 112 means house nº 4

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Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

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trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

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I imagine myself having a superpower that could make people see from my point of view. I would just have to lay a hand on them, and suddenly they would understand who I really am.

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try to give your friends spirit animals

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Start walking down a busy street or mall, and realise I've gone the wrong way. Suddenly stop and pretend to read something on my phone for a few seconds before turning round and walking the right way.

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I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

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When I am bored I look at things and wonder about the people who made them, and at what time they were made, etc. Like whether my Bic pen was made in the morning or the night. Savy.

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sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

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Tap my fingers really rapidly when I'm annoyed, stressed out, fed up or angry.

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I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

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I can't piss with my shoes on.

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When I was little I used to cover myself all the way up and put pillows around me, then ask my sister if she could see me, trying to be invisible when I sleep just in case someone breaks into my house at night.

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I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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I **** with no hands.

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I gotta get down of Friday

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Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.