- Things You Think Only You Do

Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

Love feet. like LOVE feet.

HEY! YOU! Yeah you! I can speak you only, NO! Nobody else here! Yeah you only you, by the way you are a dirty piece of s**t you mothe* F**ker! YEAH ITS YOU! I HATE YOU! EVERYBODY HATES YOU YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! end of special message just for you

trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

I am such a coward. When I'm going to have an argument or complain to someone, I think of the beat ever retort, but when it comes down to it I say "why are you so mean" or " why don't you just leave me alone for once" or something like that. ( Yes I get picked on, cos I'm the smartest in our class)

Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

Thinking your life is a movie...

When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

Thinking about a situation someone else in the world might be in. For example, Someone dying and the pain they must be going through.

Know almost every line from spongbob episodes.

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

When a tooth is very loose,i shake it with my tongue because that pain is relaxing.

I thought I was disgusting until I read the top voted things here. Floral: Actually pretty neat.

laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

I have a phobia of incest

Sometimes when someone says something to me, I will hear them perfectly clear, but I will instinctively say "what?"

Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.