I used to peep when my relatives are watching porn, back when i was a kid. After that, i feel like i wanna pee.

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Sometime when I'm alone, I like to fill my bathtub with marinara sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.

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When something funny happens think of it a couple days later than laugh,everyone then looks at me weirdly.

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When texting someone on the toilet & they ask, "What are you doing?" I respond with, "Oh, just chillin." LOL. -Jade

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When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

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Whenever I watch TV, the volume has to be on multiples of 5. Even if the perfect volume is in between.

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i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

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You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

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eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

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I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

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Skip the first 3 minutes of "Free Bird" because it's too slow.

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Making gang signs out the window when your parents let you ride in the front seat

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I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

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Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

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I sometimes chew on the inside of my cheek

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Cheak the fridge every 5 minuets waiting for food to just "magicly" appear

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When I'm watching a movie I have already seen I hope for a different ending but soon realize it won't happen

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try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

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Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

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when you pick up something you think is going to be heavy and its like you suddenly have super strength

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Only use the left earphone.

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.