Whenever I watch TV, the volume has to be on multiples of 5. Even if the perfect volume is in between.

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When I haven't looked in a mirror for a while, I worry that I look awful, and when I get to a mirror, I'm like "Oh yeah, that's what I look like".

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Sometime when I'm alone, I like to fill my bathtub with marinara sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.

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I put the volume on my television so it is on any number divisible by five (5-10-15 etc. etc.)

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Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

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Stop at the beginning of an escalator, and let the stairs drag you forward by just your toes.

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acting as if you can shoot with a banana

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When I'm on a site that requires you to login with Facebook or Twitter to leave a comment, I click on the names of the nice looking ones to go see their pages to add them to my friends list.

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If I'm walking with or behind someone I always match their footsteps

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eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

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turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

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RE:" pee on the side of the toilet" you dont pee on the side of the toilet so it isn't loud. you pee on the side so it doesn't splash on you're legs as much.

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I make sims of everyone I know and make them have kids together.

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only read the short jokes on this website

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Add numbers on license plates of cars around me while waiting at a light.

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Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

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Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

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see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

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Blow into the shower head when I'm taking a shower to make what sounds like jet noises

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Turn the door knob while closing the door ...so it doesn't make a loud noise.

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jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

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Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

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I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

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I hid money in a jar behind a brick in the house I lived in and forgot about it. I've since moved to another state but I didn't remember I left the cash behind until years later.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.