Start walking down a busy street or mall, and realise I've gone the wrong way. Suddenly stop and pretend to read something on my phone for a few seconds before turning round and walking the right way.

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I prefer to go to the bathroom with the door open.

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When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

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Left alone Big noise, people aren't expected back as soon so grab baseball bat and charge only to find them back early...."what you doing?" "batting my socks around practising my baseball skills"

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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only drink milk from a freshly opened carton

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What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

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Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

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(okay maybe not a thing I do but something I noticed) When people call themselves "Writers" In today's world you know that might not be the case because we have computers so shouldn't they be called typers?

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You see someone do something cool and imagine doing it in front of all your friends

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Pretending you're a badass character from an anime or movie when listening to rock music (or something similar)

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I was not born in the country I am living in now

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I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

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worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

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When you're scared of the bathroom and you close your eyes you quickly look around to check if there's a monster or something in the mirror

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Never step on manholes, because I'm afraid to fall in.

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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Walking into a room to do something, and then forgetting what you were gonna do.

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If I get lost while driving, the first thing I do is turn down the radio.

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When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

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While at the movies, grab and eat your popcorn with your tongue and pretend you are a lizard.

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dip my fries in ice cream! sometimes in soda. It's good!

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Get somewhat worried about myself if I'm thumbed down on THIS SITE.

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I wonder what it wonder be like to have a really tall girlfriend?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.