Have one of those days where you think it is just a dream but then reality takes over

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When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

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Making gang signs out the window when your parents let you ride in the front seat

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Going to sleep during class thinking that you've written down all your notes, until you wake up and realize you did nothing.

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When I'm watching a movie I have already seen I hope for a different ending but soon realize it won't happen

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sometimes *sigh* sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

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use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

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OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

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standing at the mall with your group talking, you all decide to start walking to a store, start to follow but half the group stays behind for a few seconds then they start walking, walk a slower pace only to find out that you're in the middle of your split groups e.g. 3 in front 4 behind...dont know which one to merge to......wait for your group to collaborate back together.

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I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

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start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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I rehearse arguments in my head.

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i masturbate with my feet

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Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

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When I'm watching something interesting on TV, sometimes i realize they I'm making a weird face so i make sure that i make my face go back to its normal position. This way, my face won't get stuck like that

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Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

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i see things on this site and am secretly glad im not weird like everyone else

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I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

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Everytime aplane is flying low you think it's going to crash right in front of your eyes

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Tap my fingers really rapidly when I'm annoyed, stressed out, fed up or angry.

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Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

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I was not born in the country I am living in now

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I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.