When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

Say "Up and Down" for "Left or Right"

Sitting down in the shower

Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

I love the tingly feeling you get when youve shifted after realizing you arm, leg, hand, etc. has gone numb. am i the only one?

Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

I was not born in the country I am living in now

Laying in bed at a friends place with your eyes closed imaging where you would end up if you got up and went to the toilet as if it was your own house.

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

When Ive already talked to somebody , I think of things I couldve said to make the converstion better

If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

After going to the toilet to do a S#!* I will only sit on one cheek for the rest of the day until I bathe

Sometimes I feel that my reflection in the mirror will stop doing what I'm doing and either jump out and grab me, start telling me about her reflected life, or give me a mission to free her from her mirror life.

Being able to think about great ideas for the world, but not being able to get a math problem done.

Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.

sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

Hate when people ask "do you have a bathroom?" It's like "no we crap in the yard!"

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.