I don't read the terms of service.

You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

walking up steps in the dark and you think you've gotten to the top but there's actually one more step and you panic because you think your going to fall

listen to madonnas new album

I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

I sometimes chew on the inside of my cheek

test how many stares you can scale in one step

when im in the toilet and invent something in my mind and dont have a pen and paper to wright my invention and when im done i forget about it...

Turn the door knob while closing the door ...so it doesn't make a loud noise.

when you pick up something you think is going to be heavy and its like you suddenly have super strength

poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

standing at the mall with your group talking, you all decide to start walking to a store, start to follow but half the group stays behind for a few seconds then they start walking, walk a slower pace only to find out that you're in the middle of your split groups e.g. 3 in front 4 behind...dont know which one to merge to......wait for your group to collaborate back together.

Sitting down in the shower

Say "Up and Down" for "Left or Right"

when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

Deside to watch a video in bed on your phone or iPad and drop it on your face...

i masturbate with my feet

Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.