poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

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standing at the mall with your group talking, you all decide to start walking to a store, start to follow but half the group stays behind for a few seconds then they start walking, walk a slower pace only to find out that you're in the middle of your split groups e.g. 3 in front 4 behind...dont know which one to merge to......wait for your group to collaborate back together.

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I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

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Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

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Deside to watch a video in bed on your phone or iPad and drop it on your face...

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When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

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Turn volume down on iPod or tv, then turn up one bar to make it seem like it's still loud.

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I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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Tap my fingers really rapidly when I'm annoyed, stressed out, fed up or angry.

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Watch peoples body language and see if they're on the same pace of thought as i am and then try to speed up my thinking to pretend or act like I am realizing something they are not.

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Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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When Ive already talked to somebody , I think of things I couldve said to make the converstion better

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Run faster down hotel corridors.

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eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

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.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

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accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

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Being able to think about great ideas for the world, but not being able to get a math problem done.

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looking at the last page of thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com to see how weird some people are...

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sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

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That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

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Realized with 7 billion people, there is a chance that someone else on earth is doing exactly the same thing as me at any given time.

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I doodle on everything I get that can be doodled on, even my exams :)

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When I am in a bind and I know I need help I just say " I gott this" and things work out

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.