only drink milk from a freshly opened carton

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Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

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(okay maybe not a thing I do but something I noticed) When people call themselves "Writers" In today's world you know that might not be the case because we have computers so shouldn't they be called typers?

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Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

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Kill Jb without getting aressted.

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I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When you're scared of the bathroom and you close your eyes you quickly look around to check if there's a monster or something in the mirror

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Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

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(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

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When you're walking along at night and you see the moon, then you move around quickly,still looking at it as if you're controlling it.

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Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

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Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

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I wonder what it wonder be like to have a really tall girlfriend?

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Pretend I'm a back-up dancer or singing a duet with the singer of the song I'm listening to.

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Read things from this page and think to self: "Thank God, I thought I was the only one."

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I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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I can't step on the cracks of sidewalks.

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Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.

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Invented a special password for yourself in order to recognize yourself if travel through time.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.