I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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When i'm eating small, colored foods like skittles or gummies, i have to have one on each side of my mouth so one side doesn't feel happier than the other and they have to be different colors.

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in my eyes all my friends have an easier life than myself. their exams are easier, their teacher are cooler...

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It is really difficult for me to lose control of myself

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It takes me a whole afternoon to write an important/professional email cause i keep thinking about what I should and should not write and it gets so stupidly difficult I take one hour breaks between every sentence.

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Secretly think that Flo from the Progressive commercials is bangable.

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Clicking Yes to "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service" without reading one word of that stupid thing.

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I poke myself in the eye with a needle every Thursday.

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Remove all the stupid gobbldegook words that the captchas from this site add to my predictive text.

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turn on my reading light when I get in bed just to check if there's a monster.

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Look at the clock to realize that it seems like the "second" hand is taking longer on the number its on right when you look at it, and/or you looked at the clock at the absolute perfect time. And it happens frequently..

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pick your nose and eat it

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If no one else is home and you have to go to the bathroom, but you're invested in what you're doing on your laptop, you take it with you.

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When I'm home alone, I pretend I'm famous, and pretend I'm doing a television or magazine interview, and answer out loud to questions I ask in my head

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use my phone as an alarm clock for waking up. but sets the time in PM instead of AM.

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"I'll start tomorrow..." wake up and it has been a year later and I still haven't done it.

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Use the letters on my phone to make words to help me remember important numbers

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If a donkey and a angle fish where to pro create what would be the out come? They can't mate a donkeys a mammal and a angle fish is a fish

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Sometimes I have a dream in the morning that I checked my clock but then when I wake up Im perplexed when Ive gone back in time -Ethan

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After having an argument with your partner you text them later then halfway thru the text you forget hat you were going to say back track and tell them you love them! "didn't matter really did it lol"

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I wish I can go somewhere where there is no influences trying to get me to buy a product or be a certain way

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Blow dry my dick and balls after getting out of the shower.

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Become paranoid that this is not the real world, and instead is some coma induced dream.

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When the car runs over bumps in the road on the freeway, they sound like horses hooves, so I pretend my car's being pulled by invisible horses.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.