- Things You Think Only You Do

i try to spit onto my line of piss while going to the toilet.

Show up for a blind date and say DAMN, WTF! When they open the door.

When I'm over at my friends house and they get in a fight with their sibling, I just pet their dog.

run up the stairs when its night so that the monsters dont catch you

Sometimes I get annoyed when I realize none of my friends ever eat vegetables or drink anything but sugary soda`s and are somehow as healthy, sometimes even healthier than me.

Touching your nipples at night wondering if anyone else wanted to touch them all day :)

I rape small children ;).

sometimes, i smell my own farts.

I always save a bite of my favorite food for last so that is the taste I have in my mouth when the meal is over.

when singing to music on my ipod, i sometimes pause the music to hear how loud I am singing.

When my soap is running low, I add water to it.

When no one is around I make sound effects for everything I do.

Stare at people until they notice, and when they notice watch them out of the corner of your eye until they turn.. and then you continue staring

In the shower, or just when I'm alone, I imagine having confrontations with people in my life and play out the entire conversation by myself, lip syncing the words with emotions and all.

reading the back of the cereal box when eating cereal

I hold my boobs if I'm running upstairs and not wearing a bra.

I pretend I'm a musical when I'm alone and sing about all the stuff I'm doing.

while talking about someone, immediately fear they are somehow listening

Change the channel during commercials when you have the remote, when you don't you go insane and say "TURN IT BACK WE'LL MISS THE START!!!"

Tells a joke only you thought was funny and still laughs then laughs harder because your the only one laughing nikki

When I'm in a place with two different colored tiles, I only step on the colored ones and pretend the white ones are lava or off-limits.

Sometimes when I watch live TV, I mute the TV when I get embarrassed at what is happening on screen to other people.

After learning a new word, I hear it used and written EVERYWHERE for the next week.

pull the poo out of my butt when im too impatient to push it out

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.