when u see a blond, brown,black,or red head girl u think of a blond,brown,black or red head joke -Randi L.

Simultaneously apply pressure to my ears to make the surrounding noises sound weird Tristan J.

Stalk people on facebook, find out something interesting, and later claim that it 'came up on your newsfeed'.

When your best friend has a certain make/model/color car, you start seeing it everywhere you go.

play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

fist myself to the point of unconsciousness whilst masturbating to the speeches of Hitler

I always feel as if someone is always watching me on a screen where ever I am, and every person in the world is also being watched as well

I will look up the definition of a word in a text message before I use it just incase I'm using it in the wrong context.

when I have an itch on my hand I scratch it with my stubble

get really embarrassed when i leave the book i read when i poop on the bathroom counter and someone uses the bathroom.

I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

when something is lost you check the spot they or it should be at least 5 to 10 times

Imagin what would happen if there was a zombie invasion just at your house.

after doing the dishes i get my hands wet after putting my jumper on cause i failed 2 dry my hands propley my arms a f***** cold dammit!!

Two minutes after I text the person I like, I check the message to see what time I sent it and what time the person received it, and estimate that it takes the adverage person about a minute to respond and then another minute for you to receive it. so really, if the person likes you, it would take them about 3 minutes to respond. if its five, you automatically assume they hate you.

When someome asks you a question and you can't hear them so you say, "what?", then they say it again and you miss it so you just nod your head and say "yeah".

I look at my phone screen when i'm in an uncomfortable situation, and five minutes later i have to look again cause somebody asks what time it is.

When i get a back shiver. That's when i know something bad going to happen.

Sitting on the toilet and feel devastated I forgot my smartphone and then spending the rest of my time on the toilet thinking about how boring it is without my smartphone.

Lie in bed at night, imagining things I want to happen in my life while trying to fall asleep.

I like to poo while smoking.

When reading some of the weirder things here, I somewhat worry some of these things people do might start happening to me just because I read about them.

Go into a card shop, laugh hysterically at the funny ones, then leave. Then whilst walking down the street, you think of them again and burst out laughing. This is highly embarrassing when you're alone!

Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.