Playing hide-and-seek and finding the best spot ever, only to realize you have to pee

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Walk around aimlessly when talking on the phone.

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When someome asks you a question and you can't hear them so you say, "what?", then they say it again and you miss it so you just nod your head and say "yeah".

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I pick my nose n eat it. I love the hard ones

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When I'm in a hurry I brush my teeth while peeing because I think it saves time.

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Not doing any work Feel guilty about it Then still do no work

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I trap my farts under the covers and sniff them all up or cup them in my hand and sniff real hard to get the smell.

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I hate when my mom hangs my underwear on the clothesline outside.

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say to my friend do you ever think that someone else is thinking the same thing that they are thinking at this moment in time and then SHYT in there mouth. Normally they gurggle it in their throat, before swallowing it and making a pedo face, and sometimes i bike naked and shit on cars with diorrea so it explodes on the windows.

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I try to fill the surface of the toilet water with bubbles when I pee.

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See a ridiculously hot girl and wonder to myself "who is the guy who gets to have sex with her. And why does she like him?" As if that can help me bag an equally hotter girl.

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I take pains to be Anti-Democrat and Anti-Republican. Because both parties are really gross money & career machines beholden to industry. I really am middle-of-the-road on lots of issues. even though I don't understand what the fuck makes an intelligent conservative tick. but I may just be biased because it's all neo-cons on the news. idk.

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when you're texting in class and you realize you are staring at your crotch and smiling.

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When I'm in the shower and I hear a noise I automatically think someone broke into my house and killed my family and that they're coming for me and I will have to fight off the killer naked.

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Answering questions that weren't directed at me, then awkwardly playing it off like they were talking to you.

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I can't get out of bed in the mornings unless the alarm clock reads 0 or 5.

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when i was a kid, i lookup dirty words in the english dictionary as substitute for porn :(

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I get creeped out if I haven't looked at a clock in a while and when I finally do it reads 9:11

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become increasingly panicked when its dark and you cant find the door handle.

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Scratch my scalp and look around the place if there is someone watching me (if no one does) quickly smell my fingers

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Feeling sorry for inanimate objects

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Read for hours... then hear a narrative for everything you do after you stop reading. for ex: "Jen gets out of the car, shutting it with a loud bang. She walks towards the house, noticing the dead squirrel in the road."

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Always think "what if ghosts really ARE everywhere?" when I'm naked in the shower, or getting dressed, or any other private and/or embarrassing moment. Then get really freaked out and picture 6 people from 1902 watching you.

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to wake up from a nice dream than try to sleep again to finish it

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.