Think about having sex with the dog. You wouldn't, but what if you did?

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When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

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After a meal if I need to use a toothpick I would eat the piece of food I "picked".

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Go into a card shop, laugh hysterically at the funny ones, then leave. Then whilst walking down the street, you think of them again and burst out laughing. This is highly embarrassing when you're alone!

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When on a long car ride, i tend to look out the window and imagine that i am running on the side of the car and doing flips and other types of parkour to keep up with my car...

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When driving and a song come on about death I switch the station because i'm afraid its going to happen to me

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Give vocal commentary on the song I just played when I'm the only one in the car.

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Whenever I go to a new place, I look around and carefully plan my escape route in case of zombies.

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I probably am the only one who does this but I climb on my cat's cat tree to see what it's like to be a cat o.o

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Look at just about ANYTHING you see in the context of a zombie apocalypse. Example: strategizing escape routes and barricade points while you're walking down the hallway in school, or looking at something ordinary, like a baseball bat, and thinking, 'I could bash some zombie brains with that'

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Hit the off button on the microwave three times to simulate the sound it makes when time is up.

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When climbing onto an escalator, I cannot just step on it and go, I have to mentally prepare myself and time my steps to get on, especially if it's going down, cause I'm terrified I will fall off... I usually end up irritating the people behind me trying to get on, as it takes me almost 10 to 15 seconds to find the right step.. And also, I cannot touch the escalator's sides.

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Get excited when your friends think your favorite song is cool.

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Walking with your friend talking about everything then you and your friend walk by someone you don't know and it gets awkwardly quiet

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I wake up suddenly in the middle of the night with a feeling that I'm falling

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I don't read the terms of service.

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Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

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Think it's awesome when I look at a clock and it reads the same numbers that my address starts with.

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Have deja vu while talking to someone and then stop listening to what they are saying for a few seconds till the feeling passes, then nod like you have been listening the whole time.

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When I'm walking on the sidewalk, I try to count and keep a steady rate of how many times I step on each slab of concrete.

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Think that If I leave a big knife out on the counter- or a pair of tights/belt/scarf out in view, I believe that ultimately someone will break in and kill me via the aforementioned items.................and I will only have myself to blame.

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Whenever someone dies I try to guess who will die next so I wont be as shocked

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When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

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I'm in my twenties and still don't drive.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.