I always feel a little twinge of regret when I see "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service," because I know it's a lie.

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Turn the Microwave off at 1 second

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Change my name on Siri on iPhone to something hillarius and make it say my name

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When I'm in the shower and I hear a noise I automatically think someone broke into my house and killed my family and that they're coming for me and I will have to fight off the killer naked.

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Sit there with my hand just resting down my pants casually when I'm alone. It's comfy!

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while talking about someone, immediately fear they are somehow listening

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Check the time on my cell phone, put it back in my pocket. Dammit, didn't see the time. Check it again.

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lie in bed, stare at the ceiling fan, focus on only one blade, and see how long your eyesight can follow it.

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Sometimes I imagine what it would look like if I was seeing out of another person's eyes across from where I happen to be.

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I take pains to be Anti-Democrat and Anti-Republican. Because both parties are really gross money & career machines beholden to industry. I really am middle-of-the-road on lots of issues. even though I don't understand what the fuck makes an intelligent conservative tick. but I may just be biased because it's all neo-cons on the news. idk.

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On an one night if I come too fast .je persuade the girl that I have to forget my cellular in my automobile and I get out

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I think people especially my parents, can hear my thoughts

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I can't get out of bed in the mornings unless the alarm clock reads 0 or 5.

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When im alone i have a conversation with myself

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Make pictures on the bathtub wall using the clump of hair from the shower drain.

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When walking on the sidewalk, try to walk the same number of steps on each square without looking awkward. (now, this is sooo weird, I have no clue if ANYBODY has ever done this more than once)

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Pee in the shower.

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Whenever i wear long sleeves i always hold onto the sleeves with my ring and pinkie fingers.

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When in a outhouse I get scared that I can't unlock the door. This one time in the winter the lock froze and I was almost stuck

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Smiling like an Idiot when you get a cute text

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When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

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I scratch and sniff.

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when i watch tv and it cuts to break, if i hear someone on the tv tell me not to change the chanel, ill say "u cant tell me what to do!" and then ill change it.

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Forgets something then walks into the room to get it then forgets what you forgot nikki

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.