poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

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When I go to the shops I like to park my car next to a specific coloured car so I can find it afterwards.

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In my head, my life is some kind of on-going documentary about my life. Sometimes when I'm alone, I conduct interviews.

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Having a dream and forgetting it seconds later.

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When walking down a long hallway with someone else at the end, becoming self conscious that your eyes are watering up

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Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

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Use an entirely different vocabulary in your head than everyday life.

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When the toilet paper falls to the floor, I quickly roll it again so nobody notices it.

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When you're chatting with a friend while you're walking around and not really paying attention then you turn around to took at your friend and you realise you've been talking to someone you don't even know the entire time.

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I really don't know what to do when i see a double post on here. I mean, i get that people like to do stuff with their feet when their in bed, but somehow al lot of these people do not find it enough to vote up an existing post.

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Reading a book and making the facial expressions it describes.

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Imagin what would happen if there was a zombie invasion just at your house.

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Write "my opinion thinking-aloud-sentences" on the "circle the answer" test as footnotes when I'm not sure about the answer.

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Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

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I get into a massive fight with my parents, and then do the thing i was told not to just so i can tick them off.

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Constantly refresh your email page even though you know nothing will appear.

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I control water in the shower.

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Run up the stairs like a gorilla because it's easier that way.

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When I see a typo ANYWHERE, I feel compelled to correct it, even if there is no possible way for me to correct it

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I turn on the faucet or turn up the radio in the bathroom so maybe no one can hear me pee.

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When one of those sad sappy abused dogs commercials comes on, you change the channel really fast to prevent from crying.

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never wanting to poop in other houses. You have to use your toilet

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My login password is INCORRECT so if I forget it my computer will say "your password is incorrect"

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I masturbate evenly with both hands so that my penis doesn't become crooked.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.