Pick giant boogers and eat them.

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wonder if there are secret cameras watching my every move...

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When I'm in a place with two different colored tiles, I only step on the colored ones and pretend the white ones are lava or off-limits.

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Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

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Seeing someone gettin roasted for something and then making sure you dont do the same thing.

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instinctively thumb down long posts without reading them.

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Reach past the first two or three slices of bread to get the better, fresher bread towards the middle.

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Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

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Before I go to bed I have to put one of my hands between my knees in order to warm up and get comfy.

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I use two pillows as I sleep, but I don't put them under my head, I put my head in between them.

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masturbate... with condoms and gloves because male genitalia is gross and clean up takes just a few seconds rather than minutes

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Walk around aimlessly when talking on the phone.

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I like to say really offensive and/and racist words when I'm on my own and no one can hear me. It just feels good to say things that I'm not allowed to.

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Wondering who would cry at your funeral

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Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

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When watching a heavy action movie and you suddenly start thinking about how much it would cost to repair the damages made in the movie.

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Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

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Twice on two different internet super power sites, I posted sdrawkcab epyt ot REWEP eth"... ...Sadly I forgot to type MORAL under them, so they have... several thumbs ups... NERO: In a world of bithes and h0m0f*gs that never understood that my "MORALS" where pure SARCASM!... Oh, I also think I am one of the three hundred guys that gangbang your mother.

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Be talking to someone about something random, then a few days later or so... something very relevant to that happens, then you think to yourself "I'm sure I can tell the future"... I'm very confident that, that is just me...

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if im alone and singing to music, i watch myself in the mirror

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turn on my reading light when I get in bed just to check if there's a monster.

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I always find myself criticizing some commercials on television like the first time I see them I think nothing of it but the third or fourth time I think hey wait a second...

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Sometimes I stop typing in the middle of a sen

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Playing with your phone or remote throwinng it up and down until it hits your face

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.