When I was younger I used to challenge myself with touching the roof I would first jump and see if I could touch it then I would try and see how long I can touch it and now every once in a while I just touch it and think of how far I have come.

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Thinking about what you want to dream about while brushing your teeth at night.

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Whenever I'm holding two round objects, I try to juggle them.

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Rubbing your scalp and watching your dandruff fall like snowflakes

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do math problems in my head while having sex to keep from coming

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because fuck the NSA.

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i see almost everything as a sign

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Wondering how you look to other people and adjusting your clothes and posture so you don't feel as unatractive as you think you are, but aren't.

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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(I have made this mistake mostly when I'm at the movies) When the cashier gives me the ticket and says enjoy the movie because I am so used to people saying have a nice day I say you too!(FACE PALM)

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When I'm walking on pavement or tiles I always make patterns, e.g stepping on every second tile, stepping a certain amount of times on each bit of pavement

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When I'm walking on the sidewalk, I try to count and keep a steady rate of how many times I step on each slab of concrete.

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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I look at people and think, "they poop" then as I'm imagining them pooping I hurry and change thoughts before they finish.

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Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

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When I wake up after having a good dream I try to remember it but I don't

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Not likeing something someone posted because you have a secret crush on them and you don't want them to think you check there Facebook too much.

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Sometimes I become paranoid that the ceiling is going to randomly come crashing down and kill me.

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I masturbate evenly with both hands so that my penis doesn't become crooked.

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WHEN I SHOW YOU A PICTURE ON MY PHONE..DON’T SWIPE LEFT.DON’T SWIPE RIGHT.JUST LOOK. Via: Collection of Love WhatsApp Status

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Constantly refreshing the Captcha for fear that It'll be wrong and I have to redo everything I did.

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taking your t shirt or sweatshirt off quickly so nothing gets you while its over your face

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I am 23 and I still wish the stalk will take back my younger brother

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Open my mouth while doing my mascara... it's impossible not to!!!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.