When im blazed i like of all the stupid shit i did that day but always tell myself "its fine, i didnt feel dumb about those things sober"

Not sure if im holding on to fart or shit

Get annoyed when you are making a new account and it sends you bafk because of credit card or email address

Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

Sometimes while texting or messaging, I enact the physical gestures that accompany what I'm saying as if it were an in-person conversation, even though no one can see me.

when someone goes underwater in a movie I like to hold my breath and see if I would have survived in that situation, I almost died during Finding Nemo

When i want to write a joke on anti jokes.com i laugh at my friends instead!

Feel like something is behind you/watching you, run to your room super quickly and get into the room before that something gets you

Start to pray at night, but get bored and stop in 2 min.

when i was i kid i use to do the balloon trick where you rubit on your head then when there is enough put it on a wooden floor and while it's followin me i put my hands out and pretended that i was controlling it

When I'm in the shower i let the water run off my arms and fingers and pretend I'm a giant god of water sending torrents to the miniature people below.

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

Whenever I read creepy pastas and there is a picture after the story I get afraid to look at it than when I do I freak out thinking it's going to eat me. Than when I look at it I shout FUUUUUUU.. Than look at it some more and I burst out laughing seeing its a fucking dumb picture.

Open my mouth while doing my mascara... it's impossible not to!!!

Get annoyed when I'm working on something and someone who's looking at funny pictures wants to show me every single one. Then I do the same thing when I'm looking at funny pictures.

Go to websites like this during school and laugh at the things I read. All around me other students are actually working and looking at me.

Pretending there is a man running beside you during a long car journey and jumping over obstacles

I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

When changing the volume one my computer it has to be a multiple of 2

Pull the curtain right to the end so there are no gaps just in case some weirdo at night decides to look in my window.

I hate being called "buddy".

Close all the windows on my computer when parents walk in.

I pretend that my pillow is the love of my life and kiss it and cuddle it before bed.

make south park refferences every day

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.