Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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When you say something you think is funny but it turns out that it's only funny in your head so once you say it there's this moment of awkwardness and everyone else probably just forgets about it but it haunts you for the rest of your life. ~

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take 30 pictures and only find 1 where you dont look like shit

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Here's a fun game I play if I wake up in the middle of the night: I look over at the alarm clock and see what numbers are displayed. Then I shut my eyes tightly and wait a few seconds before opening them again. If I open my eyes and see that the numbers on the alarm clock have changed, I win. If I open my eyes and they didn't, I lose.

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I always ask myself "Why am I me?". But have never come up with a good answer.

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Stop at traffic lights thinking it will close soon, when actually remains only 5s to close second and u run like crazy.

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I violate and then kill people, all ages and kinds... ..:But everyone does that right? I mean... Lol, I just type that because I am insecure now, and I kill when I am insecure... ...Excuse me.

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When im standing at a urinal and another guy was there before me and i still finish first i pretend like im still peeing so he wont think i have a bladder problem.

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when my mum buys way too much of something I imagine were one of those 'doomsday preppers' families, with mounds of supplies in our basement.

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When at Burger King, McDonalds etc. I always finish the drink before the food so that I still have the taste of the food in my mouth when I'm finished.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

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When in bed, I fold a small section of the covers in my hand to make a point and poke my fingers with it.

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When theres a car just like yours right next to your car in the parking lot you almoat always gravitate to that car instead. It's the worst when there people in the car and you keep trying to open it.

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I sit in my sink and pretend that I am water.

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Kick the fallen ice cube underneath the fridge

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Smoking a cigarette on the toilet and then accidentally ashing directly into your panties. Everytime.

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When listening to music on computer make sure your singing the words and act cool just incase the singer of that song and some other people you admire are watching you threw your webcam.

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I like to eat the crust on pizzas

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If I'm doing something that involves two ppl i race even if the other person doesn't know it and if i win i get a huge ass grin which is awkward sometimes

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hate it when the bottom of you foot is itchy because it feels wrong to scratch it.

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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I think SpongeBob and Patrick are rude, inconsiderate a_holes. ... That's right, I'm an adult and I watch SpongeBob. lol

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Looking outside the window and imagining a huge explosion destroy everything and then u surviving and trying to find a way to survive

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.