Feel like something is behind you/watching you, run to your room super quickly and get into the room before that something gets you

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I forget I turned the toaster on and jump when it goes off.

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When my friends talk bout a show they ask did u see the one where they did this and I nod even thow I have no idea what they're talking about

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When you are in a car and a sad song comes on look out the window and pretend you are in a movie.

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Skip the first 3 minutes of "Free Bird" because it's too slow.

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No matter how complicated your shower is at home, you always find it much easier to work than other people's showers.

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Feels my beard with my tongue.

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did you notice if you travel: when your going to the place feels like 10 hours but when going home feels like 4 hours

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When ever i hear music that i like i imagine im in a fight and i know martial arts with people i dont know

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I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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If I have a black surface I scratch my dandruff onto and make a dandruff galaxy.

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Bored. Open refrigerator. Nothing to eat. Open it again five minutes later.

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I sometimes try to summon things with the force of my thoughts...I would be so useful...but no way, nothing ever moves.

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When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.

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When listening to music I imagine myself and people in a movie scene that fits the music.

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Fantasize about taking over the world, and killing all religious people.

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I always ask myself "Why am I me?". But have never come up with a good answer.

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Take out all the marshmallows in a bowl of Lucky Charms, eat the "cat food" (the dry cereal that looks like dry kitty food!), then put the marshmallows back in the milk and eat them!

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Everytime aplane is flying low you think it's going to crash right in front of your eyes

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Sometimes I feel that my reflection in the mirror will stop doing what I'm doing and either jump out and grab me, start telling me about her reflected life, or give me a mission to free her from her mirror life.

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I have memorized my drivers license registration number

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I only EVER take my watch off if I need tto put on big gloves, like cricket gloves.

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I use chopsticks or disposable latex gloves to eat sandwiches, chocolate, basically any finger food, because in my opinion, it's impossible to get that greasy, sticky film off my fingers.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.