Go into a card shop, laugh hysterically at the funny ones, then leave. Then whilst walking down the street, you think of them again and burst out laughing. This is highly embarrassing when you're alone!

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Talk to my cat.

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When I go to the bathroom I put toilet paper over my penis and pretend its a ghost

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When you have a stuffy nose, and you put tissue in one nostril so you can breathe.

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avoid going in the handicap bathroom stall because you're afraid someone will see you cause it's so big

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Brake for tail-gaters

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Aim at shit stains whilst I pee.

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I kill Solid Snake and masturbate when the Game over screen keeps screaming for my own "snake" "Snake answer me! Snake SNAAAKE!" Me: Answer coming right up and out any moment now! fapfapfap

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when liking something you like or dislike something you click it twice even though you know it will only take one vote

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When I'm home alone, I get paranoid and think that someone is watching me and I try to act cool and funny just to impress them.

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Sometimes I read a whole page of text only to realize I didn't actually read any of it. Then I read it again. Sometimes this happens more than 3 times for one page.

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I have tons of imaginary conversations in my head with people I know, but they never happen. It's worse when something funny happens in the imaginary conversation and I laugh to myself, and if someone notices I can't even say that I was remembering something because I wasn't, it had never happened...

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Pronouncing 'garage' as 'grozhh'

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When I'm crying i look in the mirror to see what i look like while I'm crying

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When I stop thinking about about something it'll turn out that I've been staring at someone without meaning to.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When I hear a sound that I don't know what is, while I'm in an unfamiliar place, I wipe off and then touch as many surfaces as possible. It makes me think that if I'm taken by some scary person, my fingerprints will be easily found. I'm not sure why that would help in many cases, but it makes me feel better.

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reading the back of the cereal box when eating cereal

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put the volume on the TV as an even number, and feeling uncomfortable if it's on an odd number

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Eat the last bowl of ice cream. Then 6 hours later, you wish you hadn't. (sometimes even open the fridge and check whether you actually ate it or not)

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When leaving your basement, become increasingly conscious of how you are scared of something getting you. SPRINT UP STAIRS.

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I eat something and read book/newspaper/magazine at the same time. Then i take food crumbs off the book and eat them too.

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Avoid as many television commercials as I can

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I bought a ps4 and really regret it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.