Never tell her who I was talking to on the phone and watch her nosy butt get upset

Tried to stuff yourself in the fridge

Whenever I Iook into the mirror, I think there's a second evil dimension.

Coughing really loud to cover up the sound of your fart, then shitting your pants.

wear warm clothes on hot days -jesse

Watch peoples body language and see if they're on the same pace of thought as i am and then try to speed up my thinking to pretend or act like I am realizing something they are not.

when I have to shred important documents I am still not satisfied that I even burn the shredded paper

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Try to acomplish getting the rest of your meal reaady before the microwave timer goes off.

Try to stop a stopwatch exactly on 1 second with no extra milliseconds

I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

Whenever i do something bad to someone I can't stop smiling even though i never wanted to smile in the first place and i feel like people think I'm a terrible person

When eating food leave back the food u like the most for last

Make scary faces in the mirror and try to scare myself

Flexing your abs when you put on deodorant so you dont look fat

When I'm hungry I look in the fridge, but there's nothing good to eat so I shut the door and walk away. Then I look in the fridge again 10 seconds later in the hope that new food has arrived Robbie

sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

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Praying to God even though you tell people you're an Atheist.

Teacher asks class a question, so I put my head down and pretend to take notes.

Wish you could delete a post if it gets thumbs down

When I see a post on this site with a single downvote I start to feel guilty and give the person an upvote because I feel sorry for them.

When making toast, I stop the toaster halfway and flip the toast like it's sunbathing.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.