Tape your dick to your leg to fit into tight pants

Look in the fridge 10 times without eating anything

After I flush the toilet, I run out of the bathroom really fast.

When I'm stressed, I pick at the skin on my head and pull white flakes out of my hair. There's nothing more satisfying to me than that.

if I see submissions above mine get thumbs up but not mine I will put them down

Become paranoid that this is not the real world, and instead is some coma induced dream.

Sit down in a grass field... immediately start pulling up grass.

I never read the Terms of Service. I just click "OK"

When eating skittles and share it with my friends, i gave them the flavors that i dont really like.

hurting your foot and running around trying not to think of the pain!

I have one friend I always punch in the shoulder at least once when I see him.

If I have a black surface I scratch my dandruff onto and make a dandruff galaxy.

If I read that someone said something a certain way in a book I try to mimic their voice.

suddenly get stage fright when in a public bathroom stall and break the awkward silence by pretending you just went in there to get loo paper to blow your nose.

whenever I lucid dream, I find that I don't do much

Say "ow" when I drop something or before I get hurt

When I go to use my laptop if my cat is sleeping in my chair I would use it somewhere else and leave her alone.

Smoking a cigarette on the toilet and then accidentally ashing directly into your panties. Everytime.

Only taking half a biscuit because it makes you feel bad and then taking another half of a different biscuit.

When someone sits with crossed legs, I notice their lifted foot throb slightly with their pulse. It is really distracting sometimes.

twirl your penis in a cirlce and make the woo woo sound

Whenever someone is making a speech, I imagine them being taken out by a sniper mid-speech...

I say my first name every night before I go to sleep because I want it to be the last thing I say before I die.

whenever i'm talking about someone, i constantly check my phone to make sure i haven't butt-dialed them and they're listening to everything i'm saying about them!

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.