Coughing really loud to cover up the sound of your fart, then shitting your pants.

when you are waiting for something to load, you go "please,please,pleas,please,please,please...." and the when it finally finishes you yell "YES!" OF COURSE, ONLY WHEN YOUR ALONE.

A lot of times I'll make up reasons for why different things happen even though I really have absolutely no idea.

Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.

i smoke weed all day.

Pretend animals talk to you!

Wondering how your funeral would play out if you die

I randomly hold my boobs in my room.

not eating the ends of a hotdog.

I read your stuff at the interwebs and think "sons, I am disappoint" Moral: Lol, I just might be your father you know... But that does not mean you disappoint me anymore, I kinda expect your worst? Best? I mean... Are you doing your worst on purpose? WOW!

I talk to my pet when no one is home.

When ever i hear music that i like i imagine im in a fight and i know martial arts with people i dont know

When I'm on Facebook, I don't like anything in my news feed thats older then 15 minutes or else i'll feel like they think ima creeping on them.

Inspect the shower, bath or toilet, then washing it until you believe it is suitable to use.

after a shower, try to shake the water off.

I always write b as d or d as b since I've learned the alphabet, and i hate my keyboarb cuz its on lower case every time.

When I'm peeing in the urinal, I aim to the side so it doesn't deflect back on me.

Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'whores-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

I often think I have the greastest taste in everything

resting your head from your face to your hand and then you realize you face now looks disfigured.

Only taking half a biscuit because it makes you feel bad and then taking another half of a different biscuit.

Put the towel near the shower so that you can stand on it and not get the floor wet

Hate using public bathrooms because everyone can hear you pee.

If I read that someone said something a certain way in a book I try to mimic their voice.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.