Try to give my download speed moral support: "You can do it! YES, just stay there!" For anyone out there struggling with slow internet.. I feel your pain

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I like to create stories and adventures in my head to make reality a little less boring...

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think that your whole life is just a dream and that you're going to wake up someday

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Walk around downtown and spot good camping spots or sniping spots, cause life is a FPS.

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whenever I see those commercials where there is two people talking to each other but they constantly look at me it really irritates me

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I can't brush my teeth and rinse in the sink right after I flush the toilet, for fear of it being connected somehow, and rinsing with my own piss.

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In the shower, or just when I'm alone, I imagine having confrontations with people in my life and play out the entire conversation by myself, lip syncing the words with emotions and all.

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If you see someone singing in a car, then search on the radio stations to find the matching song to the the miming you see.

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Reading the terms of service :O....

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you turn the dial on your microwave until it reaches as far as it can go

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Sometimes I pee sitting down and act like i'm a girl.

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Trying on other people's clothes at the gym/laundromat when they ain't looking!! (^_^)

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I pretend that I've caught the man in the walk/don't walk sign doing something bad and I stare at him accusingly

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When in a public bathroom and others are in there, pretend to fix your clothes/hair until everyone has left before you use it.

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I feel that getting a 98 on a test is better than getting a 99.

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think of who i would kill if i found out i only had a few weeks to live. i.e. sickest criminal alive.

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Imagine punching someone you hate in the face, but when you see them in person you think "Oh s***!!!!" and hide.

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When im in a public toilet, i try not to make any sounds when taking a crap, not even a fart, so that when i come out no one will think i was taking a crap.

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Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

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Saying "ow" even though whatever happened did not actually hurt, but you thought that it would.

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When I forget to brush my teeth, scrape off the plaque on my teeth with my fingernail.

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Put toilet paper in the toilet before I'm going to take a shit, so that the toilet won't get dirty.

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Pee in the shower.

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I always have to google the name of this website, because I always put the words in the wrong consecution.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.