Think that when you're reading something or watching tv some people somewhere are knowing what your watching or whether or not you understand what you just read so you don't wanna reread it to risk looking stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

thumb_up thumb_down +33

When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Like a toy until it breaks.

thumb_up thumb_down -86

Pour a bowl of cereal. Open fridge. No milk. (karky)

thumb_up thumb_down +24

when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

thumb_up thumb_down -20

....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

thumb_up thumb_down -87

when i talk to someone, and the one where i am talking with is saying a sentence very fast, am going to repeat the whole sentence in my head and then it sounds really weird.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

pissing really fast to remove shit stains in the toilet

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Have to suddenly poop while shopping (mainly in Wal-Mart), but don't feel like traveling far to the restroom. So I kneel down in whatever aisle I'm in, casually shove my heel up my butt, and pick up some random item from the shelf and pretend to be interested in it. Finally, when the poop is secure in my butt, I'll put the item back and continue my shopping.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

thumb_up thumb_down -12

When walking down a long hallway with someone else at the end, becoming self conscious that your eyes are watering up

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Do somthing only you do

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I got 12 months free xbox live gold from this website http://freexboxlivegoldcodes.org .You can also get it.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

I DO wish I had the ability of the guy in the comment below me. Moral: Yeah I have to type moral down here, because its awesome and because whatever its awesome!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

When I'm sleeping, I turn and my bed shakes, and I wake up thinking it's an earthquake.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I have seen a UFO

thumb_up thumb_down -46

When I woke up this morning I was asleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -70

I turn on the faucet or turn up the radio in the bathroom so maybe no one can hear me pee.

thumb_up thumb_down -78

When in the shower, try to cross your arms and keep them as high up to your head as you can. Fill them with water and drink from it.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

Sometimes I forget that there are spiders in my bedroom, so after I've seen one I can't sleep for several days for fear that they'll eat me if I do. Then I forget about them again and thus the cycle starts.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Try to balance on and off on the light switch.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

thumb_up thumb_down +88

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.