As im about to fall asleep sometimes i feel like im falling and then i have a muscle spasem and wake up.

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Closing your eyes and covering your ears when you think someone is going to throw up.

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Suppress a sneeze and then walk around unsatisfied.

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When making toast, I stop the toaster halfway and flip the toast like it's sunbathing.

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When I'm in a room with other people, no matter who they are, I make myself choose the person I would tolerate the best having sex with just in case of a disaster and we need to procreate.

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sometimes i sing and when i do , i make drum sounds with my teeth and you know, all that stuff

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I use the power-stance sometimes when I poop. It's where you completely remove one leg from your pants and put the shoe back on. Your legs can go further apart.

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When reading a book where the main character has the same name as someone I know, I visualize that character in my head as that person.

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For the long meaningless comments below: I choose to decide to thumb the comments down and see them gone forever! Moral: Thats right, I spend less time on the webs, but here I am.

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get so shitfaced you wake up in a closet with piss everywhere

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

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I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

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I always leave a little coffee in the pot so that it becomes someone elses problem

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sometimes i close my eyes and i rub them to see psychedelic drawings

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Fall down the stairs, bounce on your ass to the bottom, feel scared, then want to DO IT AGAIN! Get pwned at a game, rage, look at your cat sitting beside you, looking back, and say "What?"

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When watching the news and see all those children and other innocent people die at wars, in my mind I shout at God and ask him why he doesn't give me the sign and my powers to save the world. J.C.

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I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

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i can't watch the t.v. unless the volume ends in a 0 or 5

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Hate to type Morals under each one of my posts Moral: A small chick in the hand is better than a huge C**K up your ass. I am pretty sure not even women nor homosexuals want birds up there...Then again, I havent searched for anything like that at the intern... they are eating her! And now they are gonna eat me! OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD! (fly stuck on head)

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Meet a really cool girl imagine the rest of my life with her.

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I sleep in my underpants every single night

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Sometimes at night, I find myself imagining people I know saying my name, trying to get my attention in my head. They won't stop until I respond out loud.

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Tip my couch over to dig for something I have lost and then end up finding a bunch of random crap.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.