Contract my gluteus maximus while sitting for a long time to feel more comfortable.

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I rape small children ;).

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I will look up the definition of a word in a text message before I use it just incase I'm using it in the wrong context.

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close the fridge door really slowly just so you can see the light turn off

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Cuss my ass off in the morning - jd

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when i'm at the computer i say out of loud what i'm typing

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oh snap, i got a boner. hope nobody notices

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Think a really Fu**ed up thought in your head, and then get mad at your brain for even coming up with it, and finally trying to think really nice thoughts to make up for it.

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When going to the bathroom, lock it and when trying to unlock and don't succeed immediately... ITS A TRAP! I'M LOCKED IN MY OWN BATHROOM!!

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I thought the 2013 film Frozen could have gone longer

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I get angry when people use question marks where they don't belong. QUESTION marks are for QUESTIONS. Not statements or opinions >:( "But whatever I don't care I mean that's your opinion?" X FFFUU- "But whatever I don't care I mean that's your opinion." ?

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during texting you set your phone in your lap right before a car is about to pass you so they dont see you texting and driving

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see if I can hold my breath when walking down a long hallway

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Somethings thinking: O God, I love this world.

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fart and talk thinking it will cover the smell

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Pretending I'm on my cellphone in public.

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While watching a movie, I imagine that same movie in my mind only replacing the characters with different ones from other series or videogames that I like. It just seems to make the movie better.

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When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

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Leave coins on the floor in the corner when I have a party to see if there is a petty thief around

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I praise the honesty of you all! :) I think confessing here is kind of fun...am I alone?

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Whenever I hear someones name being announced on a p.a., in a store for example....I say out loud 'never heard of him/her'

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Thinking about different guys and how they would be in bed, then thinking im a slut for thinking it...

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whenever you walk into the bathroom with your phone/laptop/electronic device you stay sitting on the toilet even though you are done because you are so engaged with whatever you are doing

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When I'm getting shouted out i blur my eyes and think of something else :3

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.