I sometimes have bad dreams that for some reason I don't want to wake up from because I just want to see what happens next

You try to tell a joke to impress everyone and then you mess it up.

Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

Look at restaurant signs and realize the font isnt as fancy as you once thought

Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

Pretend I'm much more popular than I am with people who don't know my social life.

Get excited when the clock reads 12:34. especially when its a digital that can also read 12:34.56.

Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

Instead of scratching my balls with my hand I rub them vigorously on the bed

Get bored of regular porn and watch some bestiality just for the variation.

when on long car rides look out the window imagineing stick figures running

I chew around the center of carrots.

I will look up the definition of a word in a text message before I use it just incase I'm using it in the wrong context.

Picking your nose to get rid of that annoying whistling in your nose when you breathe.

whenever i'm talking about someone, i constantly check my phone to make sure i haven't butt-dialed them and they're listening to everything i'm saying about them!

Whenever someone dies I try to guess who will die next so I wont be as shocked

Close the Facebook page, after not having a single message in hours, and re open it in a minute, expecting numerous new messages......

I prefer to go to the bathroom with the door open.

Blast yur music in the car when you are alone but when someone pulls up next to you u turn it down so u don't make them think yur an ass

Count the amount of birthday wishes on your facebook page, and compare it to other friends birthdays.

Somethings thinking: O God, I love this world.

Watching tv with family/friends and laughing at something on the show, and then feeling awkward because no one else laughed.

Totally piss myself off by thinking of future confrontations that probably won't happen.

After a meal if I need to use a toothpick I would eat the piece of food I "picked".

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.