If I have a black surface I scratch my dandruff onto and make a dandruff galaxy.

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I fantasize about my idol as I try to fall sleep at night. He's Michael Jackson.

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I eat food when i'm bored..

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Sometimes, I wonder why god or the big bang ever existed in the first place and why there is a universe in the first place ... And it makes my brain hurt!

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Pick your dead skin then eat it.

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I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

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WHEN I SHOW YOU A PICTURE ON MY PHONE..DON’T SWIPE LEFT.DON’T SWIPE RIGHT.JUST LOOK. Via: Collection of Love WhatsApp Status

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Sitting on the toilet and feel devastated I forgot my smartphone and then spending the rest of my time on the toilet thinking about how boring it is without my smartphone.

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At any time of day, when i'm not busy, someone you know pops into your head and you start talking to them telepathically, but not for long, then you realise that youre just plain crazy? anyone?

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I wonder what it wonder be like to have a really tall girlfriend?

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When you get lost while driving, the first thing you do is turn down the radio.

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pissing really fast to remove shit stains in the toilet

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Get bored of regular porn and watch some bestiality just for the variation.

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When you get out of the shower and you're too lazy to get dressed, so you just hang around in a towel.

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twirl your penis in a cirlce and make the woo woo sound

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After brushing my teeth I used to suck the water from it

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When I step on something pokey, I don't say the quick "OW" that is expected, I go the extra syllable and a say "JOW!"

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when you are on EXCEL file on your computer, you scroll down so far, that it goes to 1000

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Opening the fridge door, then trying to accomplish pouring a drink, before the door seals itself forever leaving the cola to the mercy of the outside world.

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When I'm walking at night, I put up my hood and grin evilly at passing cars so it'll scare the drivers if they see

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Stand on the first floor and look up through the 2nd story railing just to look up women's skirts.

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Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

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Thinking about a situation someone else in the world might be in. For example, Someone dying and the pain they must be going through.

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Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.