When the hero of a movie is drowning I hold my breath to see if I would survive.

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I want to hire a private investigator to follow a private investigator who was hired to follow the first investigator.

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oh snap, i got a boner. hope nobody notices

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when looking for lost keys i return to the place they should be at least 5 times and look there

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When a teacher at school leaves a line of pen on the big whiteboard, my attention can NOT be drawn from it.

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Promise to save money then spends all of it anyway.

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Sometimes I look at people and think, "They poop."

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When in a room by myself and I hear someone coming to walk into the room I'm in, I feel an overwhelming urge to hide behind the door so they don't see me first.

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Questioning why they make the Captcha's(spamblocker) SO hard to read

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when my mum buys way too much of something I imagine were one of those 'doomsday preppers' families, with mounds of supplies in our basement.

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I hold my breath in elevators

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turn the colour down on your tv and pretend what you are watching is an old movie

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Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

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Write b as d and d as b or p as q and q as p. I mostly write b as d and d as b since I've learned the alphabet. Trying not to do that now

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Blink and pretend that you just took a picture with your eyes.

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Try to talk to my pet telepathically. - sky

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When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

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I drive in the car then suddenly awake from a day dream and realize ive driven for the last 4 miles with no recollection of the journey.

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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When the toilet paper falls to the floor, I quickly roll it again so nobody notices it.

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When you have a stuffy nose, and you put tissue in one nostril so you can breathe.

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when going through this website only read post that have 2 or more thumbs up

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When I was younger I'd lay in bed & think about who I would pick if a person told me that I had to choose between 2 people and the 1 that I don't choose will die.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.