say to my friend do you ever think that someone else is thinking the same thing that they are thinking at this moment in time and then SHYT in there mouth. Normally they gurggle it in their throat, before swallowing it and making a pedo face, and sometimes i bike naked and shit on cars with diorrea so it explodes on the windows.

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I chew my ice cream.

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Laying or sitting down in a really comfy position, then getting up to do something, and when you come back you can't figure out the position you just had.

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Realized with 7 billion people, there is a chance that someone else on earth is doing exactly the same thing as me at any given time.

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I think any disasterous accidents will not happen to me.

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Inspect the shower, bath or toilet, then washing it until you believe it is suitable to use.

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Blow dry my dick and balls after getting out of the shower.

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If I'd see a grizzly bear in the forest I'd probably try to run away even though every sane person says that that's exactly the thing you shouldn't do

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See the person you like at school, have a quick random sexual thought about them, le random boner appears, and you flip out in your mind

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I always poke myself in the eye when I put on mascara, then have a wild hand spasm so it gets all over my face.

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At the gym, I always try to do 5 pounds more than the previous person.

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In school look at the wall or something and feel like only a few seconds has gone by but really thirty minutes has

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Fake a yawn to see if other people will yawn back.

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When I'm walking on pavement or tiles I always make patterns, e.g stepping on every second tile, stepping a certain amount of times on each bit of pavement

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close left eye, then right eye to see how things move....

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Think about when im old and im dying and under what circumstances,and think will i remember this day when i thought of it and think,shit that was fast,almost like sending myself a message to the future...if that makes any sense lol

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I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

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Aim at shit stains whilst I pee.

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fap

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Yelling my cats name in my mind to see if i can get him to look at me using the power of my mind

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Act like your on a cooking tv show when your cooking

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After waking up from being extremely intoxicated the night before, i check my phone and ALL my accounts on the internet to make sure i didnt make an ass of myself.

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I wonder if we're actually just dolls and are being controlled by some little girl in her little doll house ....

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Having a deja vu, swearing you've seen something before.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.