when i know that friends are coming to my place the next day i clean up my room and then i'm like...oh i forgot to clean up i'm sorry, it's always in a mess...

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I can't drink while I'm walking I have to stop.

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I feel bad for not reading the terms of service on a website, because someone had to put a lot of effort into that.

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I have tons of imaginary conversations in my head with people I know, but they never happen. It's worse when something funny happens in the imaginary conversation and I laugh to myself, and if someone notices I can't even say that I was remembering something because I wasn't, it had never happened...

Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

I wet toilet paper before I use it to wipe.

Sometimes, after I say "bye" to a person on facebook, I wait a few seconds before I log off so that it seems like I said "bye" to other people too. Because I'm just that popular.

you look at someone and they look toward you and you look away quickly then you look back to see if they are still looking.

If someone asks me if I want something and they get up to get it and im sitting down, I say " oh I can get it" eventhough they are already up just to not seem like a lazy piece of shit

Sometimes I think that if we play with dolls, maybe we're just dolls that someone is playing with and creating lives for.

suddenly get stage fright when in a public bathroom stall and break the awkward silence by pretending you just went in there to get loo paper to blow your nose.

when im lying in bed in summer and im hot i just turn my sheets on the other side so its cool again

mentally scolding yourself for thinking something dirty just in case the person you're thinking about can read your thoughts

Somehow can't find anything good to eat after going grocery shopping... even if you buy Oreos

Listening to romantic hollywood sad core and feeling depressed because your single.

If I'm in the car looking for an address or a street name I'll turn down the radio. Why?

When I go up the stairs, I always have to end on my right foot. If I have to, I will even hop on one foot on the last stair in order to land on it.

In case you have the ears pierced, take out the piece, and smell it, even if it smells so bad, you like the how it smells... lol

I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

Laughing randomly because you remembered something that was funny earlier

Have one of those days where you think it is just a dream but then reality takes over

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.