I lift my butt when I'm farting

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I flick my boogers on the carpet knowing that I can just vacuum them up later.

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sing like a pro in da shower

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whenever i'm talking about someone, i constantly check my phone to make sure i haven't butt-dialed them and they're listening to everything i'm saying about them!

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I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

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Sometimes I like to count the amount of steps it takes to get upstairs/downstairs. Then I realize that the number is never the same.

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Try to keep a balloon in the air with out touching the ground, using anything but my hands -Noel

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Try and accomplish something before the timer on the microwave beeps :)

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flushing the toilet eventho not yet finish pee-ing. So that the water sucks it right after the last drop of your pee. Saves 2-3seconds of your life.

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If two cars towing boats were to crash into each other, Would that make it a boating accident?

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Apologizing to things when I drop them and feeling stupid afterwards

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when i am in a long car ride i look out the window and imagine im in a sad music video

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When I dry my hair after showering I put a towel on my head and look at the mirror pretending I am a mighty naked sheik.

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I pretend that my pillow is the love of my life and kiss it and cuddle it before bed.

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ur parents never pay attention to u but when they do they r yelling at u

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right click refresh on desktop. Repeat

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When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

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Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

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Putting your bra on your dogs dead

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Pick giant boogers and eat them.

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Spend several minutes to write a comment on a website, only to decide not no submit it after all.

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Sometimes when you are looking down at a book or something you look up because you think you saw a person. Nope it was a tall lamp with a coat hung on it. Find youself periodically looking up every 5 minutes to make sure.

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play with a knife and pretend to be a master blade wielder

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blink

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.