When two people in my house are arguing, I stay in my room to avoid awkwardly interrupting them and being dragged into it.

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whenever I play I spy I always use very specific things I spy for example if I would say something starting with D and it would be for dust

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I kill Solid Snake and masturbate when the Game over screen keeps screaming for my own "snake" "Snake answer me! Snake SNAAAKE!" Me: Answer coming right up and out any moment now! fapfapfap

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Awkward moment... Pretend to send a text.

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I can only play a piano with my right hand

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wonder why the word "MORTGAGE" has a T in it?

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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Trying not to fart when laughing is challenging.

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Make jokes about yourself on the period: "dear god, this is the 5th day I`m bleeding and I`m sill not dead. What kind of monster am I?" ...not funny... :)

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When I am talking about someone, I check my phone to make sure it hasn't dialed them and to make sure they aren't listening.

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If I'm walking across a road and a car stops to allow me to pass, I say 'Thank you' even though I know full well they cannot hear me.

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Whenever I go to the toilet on an airplane I worry that during the time I'm there the plane will drop out the sky.

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You think about all the stupid things you did in elementary school and avoid anyone who went to your elementary school in high school.

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taking your t shirt or sweatshirt off quickly so nothing gets you while its over your face

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Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

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Naming every pet you've ever owned Peter Jankins

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forget i left the light on somewhere in the house and when i see it on i think a ghost did it..

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When I look at a digital clock, i try to rearrange the number to make them a math equation

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hearing the opening theme music to Disney or 20th Century Fox or whatever and knowing what it is before you see the screen, then wondering if you should feel proud or if your a weird geek.

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Peeing in the shower

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I hit the frig after sex

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After eating a sandwich, eat the leftover sesame seeds one-by-one.

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I make a joke and laugh a little but if someone else laughs then i laugh louder

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Wonder why there are sites like this.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.