Opens new book to random page. Reads snippet. Smiles to myself when I reach it 1 week later. -epsin

being a mid-teenager, never having a relationship before and don't care at all.

Open Fridge, look around for few seconds, say to self - 'What the f*** am I doing?'

When I hear the doorbell ringing and I'm not expecting anyone, I turn off the tv/music and try not to make any sound, so they think there's no one home.

cut corners when walking not because it's faster, but because it's more efficient

Listening to music---You HAVE to grind you teeth along with the song.

Opening the fridge door, then trying to accomplish pouring a drink, before the door seals itself forever leaving the cola to the mercy of the outside world.

pleasure my self... because I didn't they automatically censored certain words

I use chopsticks or disposable latex gloves to eat sandwiches, chocolate, basically any finger food, because in my opinion, it's impossible to get that greasy, sticky film off my fingers.

FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAPFAP FAP ::TROLLFACE::

Close my eyes and squeeze them so I can see colorful stars and galaxies.

Don't have to poop for a week until I get in the shower

I try to accomplish things while waiting for the timer on the microwave can go off.

When I fart I immediately go 'Eww. Who farted? That's gross'. And I blame it on someone else, always works :)

whenever I come across a website like this, I try to read through every post as fast as I can. When I reach the end, I feel like I accomplished something but sad I have no more to read.

popping the lenses out of 3D glasses and wearing them when your doing homework or studying because it makes you feel smarter.

I sometimes rub my scalp rapidly and watch my dandruff fall down like snow.

Look up definitions of acronyms in text messages or Facebook that I feel I should know because I'm teenager.

shag your mom

When I'm peeing in the urinal, I aim to the side so it doesn't deflect back on me.

At night, everytime when i walk past that curtain lampost, it goes off.

humiliating little girls

Eating chicken at KFC.

I never side with the majority (if given a choice.)

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.