Think you looked good the whole day, then come home and realize you were a hot mess and nobody told you

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I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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whenever I come across a website like this, I try to read through every post as fast as I can. When I reach the end, I feel like I accomplished something but sad I have no more to read.

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I twist my pubes into little spikes when I pee.

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Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

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I daydream about what would happen if my phone rang in public and I had a ringtone of a cool song and what people think about the song and if they think I'm cool for it, or if they see some sort of symbolic meaning in the song. I do this while pacing around my room listening to the song. I think about what people I know would think about certain lyrics in the song. I do this all the time.

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I stop the microwave at 1 second so that one someone else uses it it beeps

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Press the Microwave open button at 0:01 to feel like you defused a bomb and avoided that stupid beeping.

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When I see a typo ANYWHERE, I feel compelled to correct it, even if there is no possible way for me to correct it

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Whenever I pull a long hair from my vagina or butt, it feels good.

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Run faster down hotel corridors.

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Opens new book to random page. Reads snippet. Smiles to myself when I reach it 1 week later. -epsin

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Will use delayed foot-to-ass insults on verbal bullies. You know, the kind that goes off in the persons head days or weeks after they thought they won an argument with me.

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Sometimes I read a whole page of text only to realize I didn't actually read any of it. Then I read it again. Sometimes this happens more than 3 times for one page.

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smell your socks cause you like the smell of your own sweat

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Sometimes I try to solve a math problem using my finger and my thigh, and when I make a mistake a erase it with my hand.

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I translate (parts of) songs into different languages in my head. I try to do it as good as possible.

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I wonder what it wonder be like to have a really tall girlfriend?

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????????????????????C?????????

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I use the internet to validate that weirdness is not actually weird at all.

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Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

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See a news article that looks interesting, too lazy to read the whole thing. Skim.

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When I notice that I have just breathed in/out, for the next minute or so I feel like I have to make a conscious effort to keep breathing.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.