I sometimes have bad dreams that for some reason I don't want to wake up from because I just want to see what happens next

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You try to tell a joke to impress everyone and then you mess it up.

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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Look at restaurant signs and realize the font isnt as fancy as you once thought

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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Pretend I'm much more popular than I am with people who don't know my social life.

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Get excited when the clock reads 12:34. especially when its a digital that can also read 12:34.56.

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Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

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Instead of scratching my balls with my hand I rub them vigorously on the bed

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Get bored of regular porn and watch some bestiality just for the variation.

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when on long car rides look out the window imagineing stick figures running

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I chew around the center of carrots.

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I will look up the definition of a word in a text message before I use it just incase I'm using it in the wrong context.

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Picking your nose to get rid of that annoying whistling in your nose when you breathe.

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whenever i'm talking about someone, i constantly check my phone to make sure i haven't butt-dialed them and they're listening to everything i'm saying about them!

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Whenever someone dies I try to guess who will die next so I wont be as shocked

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Close the Facebook page, after not having a single message in hours, and re open it in a minute, expecting numerous new messages......

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I prefer to go to the bathroom with the door open.

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Blast yur music in the car when you are alone but when someone pulls up next to you u turn it down so u don't make them think yur an ass

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Count the amount of birthday wishes on your facebook page, and compare it to other friends birthdays.

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Somethings thinking: O God, I love this world.

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Watching tv with family/friends and laughing at something on the show, and then feeling awkward because no one else laughed.

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Totally piss myself off by thinking of future confrontations that probably won't happen.

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After a meal if I need to use a toothpick I would eat the piece of food I "picked".

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.