sometimes when i fart i feel like i pooped a little in my underwear but tell myself ''no i didn't'' but feel poopy until i check.

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Sittig on a table donating sperm to my friend gabe

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I have a feeling that life is a Video Game for another Universe. When the player looks at their computer screen, they see what I see. They control everything I do. Like The Sims games. Everyone else is either other players in a multiplayer server, or they are are all fake, computer players.

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twirl your penis in a cirlce and make the woo woo sound

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When I'm crying i look in the mirror to see what i look like while I'm crying

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Look at restaurant signs and realize the font isnt as fancy as you once thought

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saying long strings of unconnected words in your head and wondering if you just said something that noone else ever has

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Feel bad about hurting someone a long time ago, when I was a child, and wish I could speak to that person and say "I'm sorry." Cringe whenever the thought of the incident rises.

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When i close the refrigiator door, i re-open it and give it a good shove to make sure it tight.

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Thinking that someone is seeing everything from your eyes while you are using the bathroom, and then quickly looking up to avoid embarassment.

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Sorry I posted last comment 3 times. And it is best ever not beat ever.

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Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

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Walk next to someone so you don't look too lonely.

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Thinking that you're the only person on Earth, and everyone else is there just to affect you.

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When I take a shower, I screw with my iPod for a half an hour "Waiting for the water to warm up".

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I get angry when people use question marks where they don't belong. QUESTION marks are for QUESTIONS. Not statements or opinions >:( "But whatever I don't care I mean that's your opinion?" X FFFUU- "But whatever I don't care I mean that's your opinion." ?

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I bought a ps4 and really regret it.

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For some reason, I smile whenever I'm telling someone bad news or a sad story. I always try to not smile, but it doesn't work and I feel like a terrible person.

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Not clicking the Facebook 'like' button on "pee in the side of the toilet so its not as loud", because it will show up on your profile, and you think other people will think you're strange.

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OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

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Tip my couch over to dig for something I have lost and then end up finding a bunch of random crap.

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Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

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Erasing the history cache on the computer after visiting an x rated website.

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stand in front of a mirror with your headphones in, and lip sync the words of the song playing to pretend you are singing in a music video

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.