When eating chips I always look at each side before eating it to choose which side will taste better

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Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

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Think that everything you do is life is being recorded by secret cameras and you're on a reality show. But you don't actually know. The Truman Show. -Robert

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Scan forward to best parts of songs, rarely listen to entire song.

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Watch the same movies over and over

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When standing in long lines (stores, banks etc..) I think about how other people would react if I puked all over the place with no warning.

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Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

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Whenever I go to a new place, I look around and carefully plan my escape route in case of zombies.

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Every time I watch the movie I cry when the babysitter sings that song in the blues bar in the movie "Adventures In Babysitting"

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I use my magic powers to give shaddy politicians their comeuppance (I don't have any magic powers lol)

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Smile like an idiot while reading this site.

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Fart at home

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try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

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I very carefully smell what I'm about to eat before I eat it, but I'd most likely eat it, even if I hadn't smelled it first.

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Date your English paper so it looks like you did it earlier (rather than saving it for the last minute).

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I sometimes deliberately missed buses and trains even if I could easily board them.

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I HATE minecraft gift codes and the morons who post about them. I wish those morons would get off my planet.

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get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

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Lie in bed at night, imagining things I want to happen in my life while trying to fall asleep.

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See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.

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When I dry my hair after showering I put a towel on my head and look at the mirror pretending I am a mighty naked sheik.

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Saying something stupid and then claiming it was an inside joke so you don't look stupid.

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when im alone and in a bad mood i make stupid faces with my eyes closed and try and figure out how stupid i looked. then i start laughing hysterically because i think that im an idiot. then i repeat this process until i have to pee from laughing so hard because im already in the bathroom so why not utilize the toilet, rather than waiting for a commercial and speed-peeing because im scared that i missed some of the show i was watching :D -Grace-

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Try to figure out if some of the posts were written by the same person.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.