I keep on trying to imagine how long eternity is for when I go to Heaven. It never ends...

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Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

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Sometimes I look at security cameras and start to act suspiciously like I'm up to something... but really... I'm not.

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Pretending not to hear someone talk to you hoping they wont care enough to repeat themselves so you wont have to talk to them

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When talking to someone you sometimes start with the middle of a story through the end, complete with random details that seem totally unrelated to them, and THEN you remember to tell the beginning (which is the part that actually relates to what they were talking about).

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Getting that huge shiver when you take a really good pee.

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Mostly make fun of my best friends but never make fun of just regular friends

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When a person tells you: Oh you like Lana Del Rey? Me:No,I like the wall

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I like to eat the crust on pizzas

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I peel tiny strings off of cheese sticks because it's more fun and tastes better.

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I'm starting to ignore Hollywood, the news and experts opinions more and more.

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1. When you're downstairs at night you go upstairs as fast as fucking possible. 2. When you switch volume in TV, the second number has to be 0 or 5.

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Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

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As im about to fall asleep sometimes i feel like im falling and then i have a muscle spasem and wake up.

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when i was i kid i use to do the balloon trick where you rubit on your head then when there is enough put it on a wooden floor and while it's followin me i put my hands out and pretended that i was controlling it

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When writing out something in the air, you mess up so you "wipe" out the mistake and then move to another piece of air because it's "cleaner".

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Whenever I pull a long hair from my vagina or butt, it feels good.

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I have an irrational fear of sloths

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A bee flies into your classroom and you're too terrified to focus on anything else.

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think that you are wasting way too much time on this website and that you could be exercising right now or be doing a million more productive things than righting about doing more productive things on things you think only you do.

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HEY! YOU! Yeah you! I can speak you only, NO! Nobody else here! Yeah you only you, by the way you are a dirty piece of s**t you mothe* F**ker! YEAH ITS YOU! I HATE YOU! EVERYBODY HATES YOU YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *end of special message just for you*

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When your alone in the house you walk around naked even though there is no point

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There's this reassuring voice in my head. She's almost like a mother, telling me that it'll be alright and that I have things to do.

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before going to a party, i rehearse the conversations i expect to have with the people who will be there (even though those conversations never actually happent)

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.