when i have to go down stairs at night, i have to sprint up the stairs in case there are ghosts/monsters never dangle my feet over the bed in case something tickles/touches them

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Every time I switch pages on thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com, I always end up reading If you don't see banners here, it doesn't mean they are not there.

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Automatically lie to your dentist when they ask if you floss

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I freak myself out during class/assembly/family dinners that someone there can read my mind, then just on cue I start thinking about sex and have to change my train of thought before they think I'm strange. Then I go round in a circle (clockwise of course) and scream their names in my head to see if they look so I know who reads minds.

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While listening to music, I imagine an insanely huge dance number to go along with it.

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I look at people and think, "they poop" then as I'm imagining them pooping I hurry and change thoughts before they finish.

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Sometimes I wonder if my life is a dream and oneday I'll wake up as a newborn baby

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Think about what you're going to tell your kids about your childhood when you grow-up.

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use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

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Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

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Reading the things people post on here and realising your not as weird as you thought.

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I like eating chicken clubs with my hands and dip them in ketchup while pretending I am a caveman

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saying long strings of unconnected words in your head and wondering if you just said something that noone else ever has

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When I'm about to go to the bathroom, I think of a million things that I have to do and try to do them all before I pee my pants.

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When on long car rides through the mountains of Cali, look at a fence and pretend its a roller coaster and talk like im on it with a friend. And when the fence ends,name and rate it like it was real -Nirp

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Smiling like an Idiot when you get a cute text

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Pretend I'm much more popular than I am with people who don't know my social life.

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1.Open the fridge...nothing to eat :/ 2.Open the cabinet...nothing to eat :/ 3.Lower expectations..and then repeat :)

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You tell your friends that you hate the Rick roll'd song even though you secretly like it.

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Cover myself in Vaseline and cry in the dark for 4, maybe 5 hours with or without a wooden splintery dildo in my arse.

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It takes me a whole afternoon to write an important/professional email cause i keep thinking about what I should and should not write and it gets so stupidly difficult I take one hour breaks between every sentence.

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Check the toilet paper after wiping your ass

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Whenever someone is making a speech, I imagine them being taken out by a sniper mid-speech...

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On Youtube, while reading comments notice that many people reply angrily to the same person. Wonder what they said that pissed so many people off. Try to find them in earlier posts, but fail. Live the rest of the night in depressive state.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.