Tape your dick to your leg to fit into tight pants

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Look in the fridge 10 times without eating anything

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After I flush the toilet, I run out of the bathroom really fast.

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When I'm stressed, I pick at the skin on my head and pull white flakes out of my hair. There's nothing more satisfying to me than that.

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if I see submissions above mine get thumbs up but not mine I will put them down

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Become paranoid that this is not the real world, and instead is some coma induced dream.

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Sit down in a grass field... immediately start pulling up grass.

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I never read the Terms of Service. I just click "OK"

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When eating skittles and share it with my friends, i gave them the flavors that i dont really like.

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hurting your foot and running around trying not to think of the pain!

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I have one friend I always punch in the shoulder at least once when I see him.

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If I have a black surface I scratch my dandruff onto and make a dandruff galaxy.

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If I read that someone said something a certain way in a book I try to mimic their voice.

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suddenly get stage fright when in a public bathroom stall and break the awkward silence by pretending you just went in there to get loo paper to blow your nose.

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whenever I lucid dream, I find that I don't do much

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Say "ow" when I drop something or before I get hurt

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When I go to use my laptop if my cat is sleeping in my chair I would use it somewhere else and leave her alone.

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Smoking a cigarette on the toilet and then accidentally ashing directly into your panties. Everytime.

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Only taking half a biscuit because it makes you feel bad and then taking another half of a different biscuit.

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When someone sits with crossed legs, I notice their lifted foot throb slightly with their pulse. It is really distracting sometimes.

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twirl your penis in a cirlce and make the woo woo sound

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Whenever someone is making a speech, I imagine them being taken out by a sniper mid-speech...

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I say my first name every night before I go to sleep because I want it to be the last thing I say before I die.

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whenever i'm talking about someone, i constantly check my phone to make sure i haven't butt-dialed them and they're listening to everything i'm saying about them!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.