While talking on the phone you can't think of anything to say then it gets awkwardly quiet

thumb_up thumb_down -40

I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Every time I switch pages on thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com, I always end up reading If you don't see banners here, it doesn't mean they are not there.

thumb_up thumb_down +299

Wipe the salt off your hand on your right pant leg after eating salty fries from fast food restaurants.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Sometimes I wonder if my whole life is a hallucination and I'm actually in some padded room somewhere, talking to myself and staring into space while my real family mourns the fact that their daughter will never be able to live a real life...

thumb_up thumb_down +695

Wearing cheap CZ rings to either stop guys hitting on me or pretend I'm engaged.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

thumb_up thumb_down -74

When I go to somewhere like France I always wittily comment to my friend " oh look at all those bloody foreigners as I have always thought they were tougher on immigrants

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Fake a yawn to see if other people will yawn back.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Randomly think odd scenarios in your head and say if that happened this is what i would do and then forget about it the next day

thumb_up thumb_down -34

sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

thumb_up thumb_down -69

I peel tiny strings off of cheese sticks because it's more fun and tastes better.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

when in the car with just one parent i get very cautious about what im thinking cuz i feel like they r reading my mind

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I have to keep reading website pages until I reached 5, 10, 15 etc. When I get close to my age though, I can finish there.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

look at old toys from when you were a kid and remember how they taste.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

log off the internet then think of something and go back on

thumb_up thumb_down +58

When my girlfriend ask me what I am thinking about, I tell her I am thinking of all the great things about my last girlfriend.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

when no one is home I grab my sisters boobs she has big ones I mean it.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

How is it that celebrities no one likes keep popping up on shows everyone likes

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Massive hang-over. Say out loud and promise I will never drink like that again. Next time drink atleast as much as the last time.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

wipe all the water off my body (predrying myself) before i get out of the shower, and dry myself with the towel

thumb_up thumb_down -22

When ever my boyfriend doesn't reply to a text for a few hours I always imagine a worse case scenario and end up crying hystaricaly.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.