When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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Go to the same website two days in a row and then never again after that

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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I have one of those automatic shower cleaners. After I press the button, it beeps 15 times before starting. I have to get out my brush, get out the hair dryer, plug it in, and Turin it on before the 15th beep. Every time.

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Think about past screw ups, then cross my eyes thinking to myself "I'm such a F---ing retard."

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i don't have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service

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When at Burger King, McDonalds etc. I always finish the drink before the food so that I still have the taste of the food in my mouth when I'm finished.

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go though and like the posts with only one like so the person who wrote it doesn't feel alone.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I have shown up for a first date in a friends POS car instead of my own to see if she is too materialistic

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Wash my hands after i use the toilet.

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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I used to peep when my relatives are watching porn, back when i was a kid. After that, i feel like i wanna pee.

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Walking past a light switch, but miss when try to turn the lights on so you just keep walking instead.

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Mouth words to people wearing headphones to try and get them to take them off.

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I constantly try to turn something I say into my catch phrase.

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.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

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When I'm at the checkout and paying with my card, I try to put my PIN in the card machine before the cashier has a chance to tell me to do it.

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I count how many steps it takes to cross a section of sidewalk, and will continue taking the same amount of steps until I realize it.

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Promise to save money then spends all of it anyway.

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Be best friends with someone and tell them all your secrets and then they become best friends with someone else and you hope they won't tell your secrets

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if your listening to music, move the volume up and down to experience the bass a lil better

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Pour the cheap shampoo I can only afford these days into the empty expensive bottle to trick myself I'm still using the good stuff.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.