When it's 12:59 or 4:59 or something:59, I don't let myself blink/breathe until it's 1:00 or 5:00 or something:00. Anyone?

thumb_up thumb_down +38

I have to fart real bad but people are around me , so I try to silent fart

thumb_up thumb_down -74

When you trip when your walking you try to play it off like you wanted to start running

thumb_up thumb_down -32

go to the search engine suggestions and see what people found, then type them in to see if you get the same results

thumb_up thumb_down -45

I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Tape your dick to your leg to fit into tight pants

thumb_up thumb_down -97

I replace every word of a song with the name of my pet

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Realizing that I can just yell out the word "Fuck!" and no one can stop me.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

When texting someone on the toilet & they ask, "What are you doing?" I respond with, "Oh, just chillin." LOL. -Jade

thumb_up thumb_down -31

I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Go on Omegle video chat and worry that you'll see someone you know

thumb_up thumb_down -43

I think about fat women while poking my skinny girlfriend

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Sometimes there is a hair in my butt and then I pull it slowly out. And it feels funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

Trying on other people's clothes at the gym/laundromat when they ain't looking!! (^_^)

thumb_up thumb_down -28

I often wonder if people ever talk about me, when I'm away.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

thumb_up thumb_down -64

If there is a big spider in the house I will act cool and take it out even though inside I'm screaming

thumb_up thumb_down -16

When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Playing TV in bed because if I don't I jump at every noise in the house and don't sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -73

losing something in the house, looking for it and then for some reason if I can't find it, I look in all the same places again

thumb_up thumb_down -5

as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

thumb_up thumb_down -117

in my mind prisms are called pink floyd.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

I wonder why the word ISLAND has an "S" in it?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

When on long car rides through the mountains of Cali, look at a fence and pretend its a roller coaster and talk like im on it with a friend. And when the fence ends,name and rate it like it was real -Nirp

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.