think your hitting your leg on a chair or desk, really someones foot

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What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

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Check the shower before you pee to make sure nothing is waiting there to literally get you with your pants down.

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Hold your breath when you go in bridge tunnels and compete against your friends to see who can last longer.

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When I Was Little I Always Slept On My Stomach Even If I Wasn't Comfortable Because I Thought It Would Be Harder For Aliens To Abduct Me.

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Criticize a porn novel for its poor use of the English language

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If I have my computer and I have to do something quietly (because there are other people about) I hear music in heaphones, just so it seems to myself that I'm more discreet, as I can't hear myself.

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HEY! YOU! Yeah you! I can speak you only, NO! Nobody else here! Yeah you only you, by the way you are a dirty piece of s**t you mothe* F**ker! YEAH ITS YOU! I HATE YOU! EVERYBODY HATES YOU YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *end of special message just for you*

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Dilikes the Gangnam Style.

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I only make the tv volume in multiples of 5.

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Running round the house like I'm Lara croft or someone from a video game :D it's fun

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Go to someone's house and go and ask where something is and the person you ask just tells you without getting up (I know it doesn't go with the theme of this site but its just something annoying)

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twirl your penis in a cirlce and make the woo woo sound

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when i was i kid i use to do the balloon trick where you rubit on your head then when there is enough put it on a wooden floor and while it's followin me i put my hands out and pretended that i was controlling it

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while I am sitting on the toilet I play with it and waste the toilet paper and of course i just keep flushing it

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Clenching my fists, imagining I have wolverine claws coming out of my knuckles

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I tuck all sides of the blanket under my body and feet then over my head and leave a fresh air hole so im in a cocoon of blanket.

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when home alone, I sing a song like im performing it in front of a crowd of a thousand people and any object nearby usually becomes my microphone

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After reading some good posts here, I skipped to the last pages just to find out really sick people and stupid things.

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Type in 'things you thought only you did' and find this site. Then smile stupidly and click thumbs up everytime you read something you thought only you did.

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While spending the night drinking with my spouse at home, i put a diaper on so i don't have to go to the bathroom every 5 minutes. I also change it for a fresh one when i go to bed.

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Things I did when I was little: Slowly close the fridge door to see the light go out before it is closed all of the way. Put the light switch in between "OFF" and "ON". Walked in to a room and forgot why, walked out then remembered. (STILL DO!) Drew the sun in the corner of the paper. Put a flashlight in your mouth to see yourself, "blush".

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For some reason I really love to be hated on horsehead network, no idea why, stopped questioning it moments ago... Moral: Know what I mean?

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Sitting next to a banana called James

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.