When eating chips I always look at each side before eating it to choose which side will taste better

Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

Think that everything you do is life is being recorded by secret cameras and you're on a reality show. But you don't actually know. The Truman Show. -Robert

Scan forward to best parts of songs, rarely listen to entire song.

Watch the same movies over and over

When standing in long lines (stores, banks etc..) I think about how other people would react if I puked all over the place with no warning.

Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

Whenever I go to a new place, I look around and carefully plan my escape route in case of zombies.

Every time I watch the movie I cry when the babysitter sings that song in the blues bar in the movie "Adventures In Babysitting"

I use my magic powers to give shaddy politicians their comeuppance (I don't have any magic powers lol)

Smile like an idiot while reading this site.

Fart at home

try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

I very carefully smell what I'm about to eat before I eat it, but I'd most likely eat it, even if I hadn't smelled it first.

Date your English paper so it looks like you did it earlier (rather than saving it for the last minute).

I sometimes deliberately missed buses and trains even if I could easily board them.

I HATE minecraft gift codes and the morons who post about them. I wish those morons would get off my planet.

get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

Lie in bed at night, imagining things I want to happen in my life while trying to fall asleep.

See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.

When I dry my hair after showering I put a towel on my head and look at the mirror pretending I am a mighty naked sheik.

Saying something stupid and then claiming it was an inside joke so you don't look stupid.

when im alone and in a bad mood i make stupid faces with my eyes closed and try and figure out how stupid i looked. then i start laughing hysterically because i think that im an idiot. then i repeat this process until i have to pee from laughing so hard because im already in the bathroom so why not utilize the toilet, rather than waiting for a commercial and speed-peeing because im scared that i missed some of the show i was watching :D -Grace-

Try to figure out if some of the posts were written by the same person.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.