avoid using ketchup and mayo since they make everything taste like um... ketchup and mayo... which is kind of boring

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sometimes when I listen to a song while riding in the car I look out the window and pretend I'm in some angsty music video

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don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time

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I pretend that I've caught the man in the walk/don't walk sign doing something bad and I stare at him accusingly

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Shit in the shower and pushing it down the drain with your feet

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Sing every word to Bohemian Rhapsody every time you hear it in the most dramatic way possible.

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wipe your hands on your pants

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toilet:a place for reading and going on fb shower:place for singing school:place for sleeping and fuck others.internet:place for shitting brixs.

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Count how long it takes before you stop peeing.

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Before posting a comment when you need several consecutive tries to type the words in the box because the lettering is so damn hard to read. But your friend can do it in one try. He got the easy one.

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when you're walking down the streets and you listen to your iPod, you pretend you're part of the music video for that song and when no ones looking, lip sync to the lyrics, as if the camera man's filming you >.

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Praying to God even though you tell people you're an Atheist.

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I pass by closed doors quickly and at least as far away as the door seems like it can open, because I always feel like someone's going to burst out, hitting me in the face with the door.

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On the bus think in your mind "I know you're reading my mind right now," and look for reactions.

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Have a big twitch, freak out when you are dosing off in class but suddenly wake up.

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when im on my phone in bed my phone always falls on my face -.-

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When I'm in a car and I hear a song on the radio, I always imagine myself performing it perfectly in front of a crowd even though I know I'd never be able to do that. I've done this since I was very young and still do.

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Live in a house my whole life and still not know what switch does which

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I trap my farts under the covers and sniff them all up or cup them in my hand and sniff real hard to get the smell.

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When telemarketers call I speak Afrikaans to them until they hang up

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Pull the curtain right to the end so there are no gaps just in case some weirdo at night decides to look in my window.

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When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

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Make odd grunting noises and sighs of relief while going #2.

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Hatch an escape plan as soon as my date starts to complain about anything.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.