(I have made this mistake mostly when I'm at the movies) When the cashier gives me the ticket and says enjoy the movie because I am so used to people saying have a nice day I say you too!(FACE PALM)

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clean my ears with finger if they feel dirty...eat it.

Awkward moment... Pretend to send a text.

Accidentally make a weird noise and quickly turn around frantically to see if anyone else hear it.

Whenever I look in the bathroom mirror, I fear that I will see a terrible bloody monster standing behind me. I convince myself of this so completely that I panic and rush out right after I pee.

When I loose something , I buy a new one, then continue to find the old one the next day.

Give your neighbors names from movies.

pinch your nostrils in between your finger and thumb and rub them back and forth in order to smell the inside of your nose.

When I climb into bed every night, I always say, "Bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed," while shifting until I am comfortablely settled.

Lick my cell phone screen to clean it.

When I see interactive ads on webpages ( "Shoot 5 iPhones And Get One Free!" type of windows ), I feel compelled to finish the task, even though I KNOW it's going to open a pop-up and waste 10 seconds of my life.

Check the toilet paper after every wipe.

While spending the night drinking with my spouse at home, i put a diaper on so i don't have to go to the bathroom every 5 minutes. I also change it for a fresh one when i go to bed.

pee in the side of the toilet so its not as loud.

clean specks of sh*t in the toilet by peeing on it.

I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

I always thought Diane Ross sang '76 why don't ya babe, get out my life why don't ya babe'.

I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

imagine shooting lasers out from the car and bouncing them of walls and back to the car

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Think of numbers as male or female.

Ask someone "what" when they tell you something even though you heard them clearly

Cough and shift my feet a lot when someone comes into the public bathroom so they know someone is in the stall and won't walk in on me.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.