Dad, what's that dark place over there? That's Chorley son, you must never go there.

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I still put my thumb in my mouth, BUT only because I like the feel of putting my eye lashes under my fingernails and my thumb inconveniantly fits in my mouth. Now I know I'm the only person in the world who does this. I'm trying to drop the habit. But it feels so GOOD!

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I always feel a little twinge of regret when I see "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service," because I know it's a lie.

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Realizes there is less toilet paper than first thought. Hobbles across bathroom to find more. Failure. Take shower.

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say to my friend do you ever think that someone else is thinking the same thing that they are thinking at this moment in time and then SHYT in there mouth. Normally they gurggle it in their throat, before swallowing it and making a pedo face, and sometimes i bike naked and shit on cars with diorrea so it explodes on the windows.

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Try to balance on and off on the light switch.

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When walking down a long hallway with someone else at the end, becoming self conscious that your eyes are watering up

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Whenever I read creepy pastas and there is a picture after the story I get afraid to look at it than when I do I freak out thinking it's going to eat me. Than when I look at it I shout FUUUUUUU.. Than look at it some more and I burst out laughing seeing its a fucking dumb picture.

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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R A P E Children

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gh, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a long time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

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I suck my shirt without realizing im doing it until people tell me.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Think of numbers as male or female.

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Get excited when the captcha says something related to whatever you're posting

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The ability to go one hour back in time by concentrating really hard for two hours.

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when bored, i imagine my EXACT plan for the zombie apocalypse, down to what would look cool if i was walking down a desolate street ( i am legend style) :D

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If I am waiting on someone and they are late, I start mentally listing their faults, flaws and mistakes but feel kind of bad for doing it when they finally show up.

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fist myself to the point of unconsciousness whilst masturbating to the speeches of Hitler

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I have the idea that i'm the only one who looks at this site.

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When I drive I sing really loud and then when a car come up next to me I pretend I wasn't singing

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Own all of you hard! Moral: EXPLOSION NOISE!

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act like a giant/dinosaur while eating broccoli xD

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Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.