Get angry at someone for not knowing something I haven't told them about.

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when a sex scene comes on the tv i try make up an excuse to go somewhere like i need a drink or a pee.

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When you are in a car and a sad song comes on look out the window and pretend you are in a movie.

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Love the Twilight books, HATE the movies.

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Absentmindedly rub your stomach while lying down watching or reading.

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When walking down a long hallway with someone else at the end, becoming self conscious that your eyes are watering up

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Sometime if I need to go I would go outside so I don't splash the seat

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Think that the shirts and bras that the girl you like should have never ben invented for that one specific person

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If I am waiting on someone and they are late, I start mentally listing their faults, flaws and mistakes but feel kind of bad for doing it when they finally show up.

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Zoning out while looking at something and then trying to find the spot you were looking at when you're out of the zone but you can't find it.

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Handing something to a friend or someone and all you can think is "...I've fapped with that hand. And they know I have" even though you clean up after you feel like your jizz is gonna be on what you gave them and theyll find out amd think you're disgusting.

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Before going to bed look around the dark room and when you see something suspicious you have a look to see its not a person

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Sometimes I toot.

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browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

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Ur mum

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I wear my boxers so I can poop through the pee hole

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Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

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I am sure that no one else has the same mental slowness as me and my brother. When I say mauve he says maeve and we continue like this for hours. It is certainly an exciting way of eating up those motorway miles:)

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Reading a book and making the facial expressions it describes.

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When no one is home, I poop with the door open, just because I can.

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Pretend to be texting to look popular in public

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when you're in the car, look outside and count every single lamp-post until the car stops

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when I'm lying in bed and I really have to fart, I lift up the blanket, stick my ass out and fart into the night air to keep the stench out of my bed

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Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually in a coma and that everything is just a dream and my parents are standing over me watching me and wishing their daughter was awake

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.