Coughing really loud to cover up the sound of your fart, then shitting your pants.

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when you are waiting for something to load, you go "please,please,pleas,please,please,please...." and the when it finally finishes you yell "YES!" OF COURSE, ONLY WHEN YOUR ALONE.

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A lot of times I'll make up reasons for why different things happen even though I really have absolutely no idea.

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Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.

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i smoke weed all day.

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Pretend animals talk to you!

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Wondering how your funeral would play out if you die

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I randomly hold my boobs in my room.

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not eating the ends of a hotdog.

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I read your stuff at the interwebs and think "sons, I am disappoint" Moral: Lol, I just might be your father you know... But that does not mean you disappoint me anymore, I kinda expect your worst? Best? I mean... Are you doing your worst on purpose? WOW!

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I talk to my pet when no one is home.

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When ever i hear music that i like i imagine im in a fight and i know martial arts with people i dont know

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When I'm on Facebook, I don't like anything in my news feed thats older then 15 minutes or else i'll feel like they think ima creeping on them.

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Inspect the shower, bath or toilet, then washing it until you believe it is suitable to use.

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after a shower, try to shake the water off.

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I always write b as d or d as b since I've learned the alphabet, and i hate my keyboarb cuz its on lower case every time.

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When I'm peeing in the urinal, I aim to the side so it doesn't deflect back on me.

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Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'whores-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

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I often think I have the greastest taste in everything

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resting your head from your face to your hand and then you realize you face now looks disfigured.

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Only taking half a biscuit because it makes you feel bad and then taking another half of a different biscuit.

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Put the towel near the shower so that you can stand on it and not get the floor wet

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Hate using public bathrooms because everyone can hear you pee.

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If I read that someone said something a certain way in a book I try to mimic their voice.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.