I am a masculine guy but in private I listen to very sensitive songs. ie: careless wispers

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get so shitfaced you wake up in a closet with piss everywhere

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You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

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i always fall in my imaginations. whenever i think of something, e.g me walking to my room, i'd fall on my way there. what's wrong with me.....

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A stranger makes me mad. Spend all day thinking about badass things that I should have done/said.

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I trap my farts under the covers and sniff them all up or cup them in my hand and sniff real hard to get the smell.

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I get creeped out if I haven't looked at a clock in a while and when I finally do it reads 9:11

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When Ive just intentionally committed some minor traffic offense (speeding, illegal U-turn) and suddenly worry a cop may have spotted me and act to myself in the car as if I was truly confused and have no idea what I did wrong, like moving my head around and saying, "Huh? Where's that house?"

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stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

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Go on Omegle video chat and worry that you'll see someone you know

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Look into your neighbor's house and halucinate someone watching back

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Wonder what I would have said to my dad if I knew he was going to die

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Sometimes when I look in the mirror I mouth common words and phrases, just to see what it looks like when I talk to other people.

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Accidentally try to downloade PC software on your mac.

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You pause while walking around your house when you're home alone because you think you heard a noise, but then realize it was just you walking.

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There's this reassuring voice in my head. She's almost like a mother, telling me that it'll be alright and that I have things to do.

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When taking trash up to the street, I always runback as fast as I can, counting down from 5, pretending there's a sniper about to shoot me.

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Gotta sleep with a fan.

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Sometimes I read a whole page of text only to realize I didn't actually read any of it. Then I read it again. Sometimes this happens more than 3 times for one page.

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I Think people can read my mind....."if you can read my mind nod your head or don't if you don't want me to know that you can" It doesn't work either way but yeah thats just me lol

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Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

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Think that everything has feelings for example, a cushion or a tree

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.