I wish I was born again, but I had all of the knowledge I have now.

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When boarding the escalator, I select a specific step before getting on causing a slight queue.

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If I'm home alone, I tell myself good night when I am getting cozy in bed. I even use my name.

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sometime i poop in my hand, then put it in the toilet so it makes less noise and the water doesn't splash up my butt.

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cussing someone out on a video game only to realize that your mic is off

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avoid using ketchup and mayo since they make everything taste like um... ketchup and mayo... which is kind of boring

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Cover the built in webcam on my laptop when I'm using it with a folded piece of paper just in case

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Put ear buds in nose, open mouth, instant speaker. If you don't do it try it.

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I forget I turned the toaster on and jump when it goes off.

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when i was a kid, i lookup dirty words in the english dictionary as substitute for porn :(

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When light goes off and cant see digital clock numbers when you are trying to sleep/wake up, i scream and get terrified because i think i got blind

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i have conversations in my head about showing someone some music and end up playing specific parts of various songs on my ipod and memorise the timings just in case it does happen

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I vote thumb dlown the ones that i dong like

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When you're walking along at night and you see the moon, then you move around quickly,still looking at it as if you're controlling it.

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Realizing that I can just yell out the word "Fuck!" and no one can stop me.

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When no one is around I make sound effects for everything I do.

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I wet toilet paper before I use it to wipe.

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I talk to myself when I'm alone

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Tally mark everytime I take a shit.

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Legally changing your name to Peter Jankins just cuz

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i run my 2 fingers across a wall like they're ninja feet when im happy.

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wonder if anyone is on at 12 A.M. log on to a social network and realize that theres a lot of people on

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i take words i just read or said and sing them to the tune of a song

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worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.