Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

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When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

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Legally changing your name to Peter Jankins just cuz

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whale sperm

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I sit sideways on the toilet because my bony butt fits better that way.

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Sometimes I just space out for a period of time and completely forget that I'm breathing. Then when I snap out of it, I kind of breathe deeply because I thought I forgot to breathe.

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Rapidly click the mouse when your computer is frozen, even though you know it won't do anything to help whatsoever.

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Use the letters on my phone to make words to help me remember important numbers

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Solving your problems in bed before sleeping and then forgetting all of the solutions when you wake up. This applies to games, homework, and world hunger.

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I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

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Say "Up and Down" for "Left or Right"

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i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

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When you have the " If I'm on an elevator and it breaks and is about to crash at the bottom, and I jump up before it does, will I live?" thought.

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when i piss in the toilet, i flush half way through and race the toilet to the finish.

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I'm 30, but to this day I still have fantasies about rescuing the girl that I'm secretly in love with from a dangerous situation. The fantasies get increasingly ridiculous, sometimes they even involve superhero stuff. It's as if my own mind was trying to let me know that I should grow the f*** up.

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I don't like to sit with my back to the door incase someone or something sneeks up behind me, it's even worse with headphones on.

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look at old toys from when you were a kid and remember how they taste.

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after dialing a number and clicking "call" constanly rehearse what your going to say when the other person picks up the line

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Imagine I'm being filmed in a reality TV show just so I could do something productive or interesting.

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when looking for lost keys i return to the place they should be at least 5 times and look there

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Walking past a light switch, but miss when try to turn the lights on so you just keep walking instead.

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I randomly hold my boobs in my room.

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Realizes there is less toilet paper than first thought. Hobbles across bathroom to find more. Failure. Take shower.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.