Pick giant boogers and eat them.

wonder if there are secret cameras watching my every move...

When I'm in a place with two different colored tiles, I only step on the colored ones and pretend the white ones are lava or off-limits.

Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

Seeing someone gettin roasted for something and then making sure you dont do the same thing.

instinctively thumb down long posts without reading them.

Reach past the first two or three slices of bread to get the better, fresher bread towards the middle.

Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

Before I go to bed I have to put one of my hands between my knees in order to warm up and get comfy.

I use two pillows as I sleep, but I don't put them under my head, I put my head in between them.

masturbate... with condoms and gloves because male genitalia is gross and clean up takes just a few seconds rather than minutes

Walk around aimlessly when talking on the phone.

I like to say really offensive and/and racist words when I'm on my own and no one can hear me. It just feels good to say things that I'm not allowed to.

Wondering who would cry at your funeral

Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

When watching a heavy action movie and you suddenly start thinking about how much it would cost to repair the damages made in the movie.

Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

Twice on two different internet super power sites, I posted sdrawkcab epyt ot REWEP eth"... ...Sadly I forgot to type MORAL under them, so they have... several thumbs ups... NERO: In a world of bithes and h0m0f*gs that never understood that my "MORALS" where pure SARCASM!... Oh, I also think I am one of the three hundred guys that gangbang your mother.

Be talking to someone about something random, then a few days later or so... something very relevant to that happens, then you think to yourself "I'm sure I can tell the future"... I'm very confident that, that is just me...

if im alone and singing to music, i watch myself in the mirror

turn on my reading light when I get in bed just to check if there's a monster.

I always find myself criticizing some commercials on television like the first time I see them I think nothing of it but the third or fourth time I think hey wait a second...

Sometimes I stop typing in the middle of a sen

Playing with your phone or remote throwinng it up and down until it hits your face

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.