When someones talking to a group of people that I'm in and says something bad that I do but think nobody else does, I stand perfectly still and don't blink and breath as quietly as possible until the next subject arrives.

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Your mom. Just kidding everyone does her.

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Think of someone you love while trying to fall asleep.

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When you try to blur eyes and keep them like that when you look around the room.

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Drinking and dialing people I dated.

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i smoke weed all day.

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when i pass a grave yard, i am compelled to hold my breath

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I can't brush my teeth and rinse in the sink right after I flush the toilet, for fear of it being connected somehow, and rinsing with my own piss.

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reading thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com at the office when you're supposed to be working then checking that the guy next to you doesn't notice. and quickly clicking a different tab when someone is walking or standing nearby.

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Sometimes when I'm in the shower, I start kicking the bar of soap.

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Make sure I put the deodorant top back on the correct way -- you know, so the sticker is to the front.

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Playing TV in bed because if I don't I jump at every noise in the house and don't sleep.

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When talking to someone you sometimes start with the middle of a story through the end, complete with random details that seem totally unrelated to them, and THEN you remember to tell the beginning (which is the part that actually relates to what they were talking about).

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Add numbers on license plates of cars around me while waiting at a light.

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When I'm listening to a sad song that relates to my life while I'm walking all alone, I mouth the words and pretend I'm in a music video.

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When you trip when your walking you try to play it off like you wanted to start running

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pull the poo out of my butt when im too impatient to push it out

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I tell inanimate objects what to do.

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Saying an awkward word enough times so that it doesn't sound like a real word anymore

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use the shower water running of my arms and hands to shoot off random hairs inside the shower

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Two minutes after I text the person I like, I check the message to see what time I sent it and what time the person received it, and estimate that it takes the adverage person about a minute to respond and then another minute for you to receive it. so really, if the person likes you, it would take them about 3 minutes to respond. if its five, you automatically assume they hate you.

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

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You see someone do something cool and imagine doing it in front of all your friends

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.