Whenever we watch a movie or stupid educational film in school, I sleep.

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If I'd see a grizzly bear in the forest I'd probably try to run away even though every sane person says that that's exactly the thing you shouldn't do

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Act like your on a cooking tv show when your cooking

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After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

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Pee in the shower

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Consider selling lots of books, games or DVDs when you have too many to fit perfectly on their shelf.

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before i go to sleep i must check the front door knob multiple times to make sure its locked

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Stare at people until they notice, and when they notice watch them out of the corner of your eye until they turn.. and then you continue staring

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I like to go out without shoes on hot days and play the floor is lava

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Put my hand under the pillow in bed to get orgasm

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Flush the toilet before peeing to see if I can accomplish peeing before the water flushes away. :)

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While listening to music, I imagine an insanely huge dance number to go along with it.

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Leave the television on in my room when I go to bed, so I have some light and I can't hear all the creepy sounds that houses make.

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When no one is around I make sound effects for everything I do.

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I fill my bathtub up with marinara and then sit curled up in it and pretend that I am a meatball.

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Count how long it takes before you stop peeing.

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I constantly try to turn something I say into my catch phrase.

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Think a really Fu**ed up thought in your head, and then get mad at your brain for even coming up with it, and finally trying to think really nice thoughts to make up for it.

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I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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Eating a crunchy food while watching tv and turning up the volume little by little until its around 80% because you can't hear over the sound of your own chewing. Then later when you turn back on the tv you scare yourself because it's still at 80% and frantically try to turn it down with super speed before anyone hears you.

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R A P E Children

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seeing small spots in your eye (dust probably) and then chasing them with your eye trying to catch them

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Think about what to say to the person you like and never actually say it .

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.