Boinked my neighbor

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Skip peeing before bed because you dont feel like it, knowing that in about 15 minutes youre going to have to get back up because you wont be able to fall asleep until you go pee.

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eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

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When something you're sat on makes a noise that sounds like a FART. So you try and do the noise again, to make sure people are aware that the noise was the chair and not you!

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When something says "I have read and agree to the terms of service" I quickly skim through it nd act like I read it.

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When it's 12:59 or 4:59 or something:59, I don't let myself blink/breathe until it's 1:00 or 5:00 or something:00. Anyone?

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Have a dream that you can breath under water and wake up and be very disappointed

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Eating a crunchy food while watching tv and turning up the volume little by little until its around 80% because you can't hear over the sound of your own chewing. Then later when you turn back on the tv you scare yourself because it's still at 80% and frantically try to turn it down with super speed before anyone hears you.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When I'm getting shouted out i blur my eyes and think of something else :3

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Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

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Love an outfit on others/mannequin, but hate it on me!

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when liking something you like or dislike something you click it twice even though you know it will only take one vote

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When in shower, I turn the heat to max for a few minutes to warm up the whole bathroom.

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if someone i like or want to impress is around i change the song I'm listening to to something that i know they like or something not embarrassing, just in case they ask me what i'm listening to.

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Apply hand sanitizer after fapping.

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I often wonder if people ever talk about me, when I'm away.

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I seriously contemplate what my theme song would be. I imagine it would have no words and a slight Mission Impossible influence.

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When ever a door is about to close I always try to put my hand between the door and stop it, but it gets to small and I get scared.

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i draw pictures of pokemon on comments (\____/) (??????)

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After you wipe your butt and crotch with a towel, you dont want the towel to touch your face. Next night, dry your face and head first.

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Whenever I'm in the shower, I never close my eyes because I think someones gonna kill me

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put a load of loo roll in the loo before taking a dump at work so it silences the landing.

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Show up for a blind date and say DAMN, WTF! When they open the door.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.