When im blazed i like of all the stupid shit i did that day but always tell myself "its fine, i didnt feel dumb about those things sober"

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Not sure if im holding on to fart or shit

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Get annoyed when you are making a new account and it sends you bafk because of credit card or email address

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Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

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Sometimes while texting or messaging, I enact the physical gestures that accompany what I'm saying as if it were an in-person conversation, even though no one can see me.

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when someone goes underwater in a movie I like to hold my breath and see if I would have survived in that situation, I almost died during Finding Nemo

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When i want to write a joke on anti jokes.com i laugh at my friends instead!

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Feel like something is behind you/watching you, run to your room super quickly and get into the room before that something gets you

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Start to pray at night, but get bored and stop in 2 min.

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when i was i kid i use to do the balloon trick where you rubit on your head then when there is enough put it on a wooden floor and while it's followin me i put my hands out and pretended that i was controlling it

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When I'm in the shower i let the water run off my arms and fingers and pretend I'm a giant god of water sending torrents to the miniature people below.

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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Whenever I read creepy pastas and there is a picture after the story I get afraid to look at it than when I do I freak out thinking it's going to eat me. Than when I look at it I shout FUUUUUUU.. Than look at it some more and I burst out laughing seeing its a fucking dumb picture.

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Open my mouth while doing my mascara... it's impossible not to!!!

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Get annoyed when I'm working on something and someone who's looking at funny pictures wants to show me every single one. Then I do the same thing when I'm looking at funny pictures.

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Go to websites like this during school and laugh at the things I read. All around me other students are actually working and looking at me.

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Pretending there is a man running beside you during a long car journey and jumping over obstacles

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I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

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When changing the volume one my computer it has to be a multiple of 2

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Pull the curtain right to the end so there are no gaps just in case some weirdo at night decides to look in my window.

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I hate being called "buddy".

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Close all the windows on my computer when parents walk in.

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I pretend that my pillow is the love of my life and kiss it and cuddle it before bed.

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make south park refferences every day

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.