I think source beggars are lazy pest that should be groin kicked

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I blow my nose in my towel after i dry off. Then use the same towel the next day. lol

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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only read the short jokes on this website

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Secretly open a packet of something or spray some deodorant in a shop to check what it looks/feels/smells like. Then put it back and pick up the one behind because you just used/opened the one you were just holding.

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I bought a ps4 and really regret it.

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Run faster down hotel corridors.

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Get scared of the dark while in bed, so you make sure all limbs are tucked nice and tight under the covers. Once done, you now feel safe..

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At times I get the annoying habbit of counting the notes on a song on my fingers, again and again until it ends with five, if not, I keep doing it until it does so as to not leave a finger left out of the melody.

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Having leg bounce up and down for no reason at all.

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Rereading a text message 25 times before you send it to make sure it makes sense.

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See my "double reflection" in 2 mirrors and then get freaked out for a good ten minutes that my usual image of myself is actually the flipped version...

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Meet a really cool girl imagine the rest of my life with her.

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I read your stuff at the interwebs and think "sons, I am disappoint" Moral: Lol, I just might be your father you know... But that does not mean you disappoint me anymore, I kinda expect your worst? Best? I mean... Are you doing your worst on purpose? WOW!

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Open the fridge every 15 minutes, to see if there is anything new to eat.

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watch old shows I used to watch when I was younger

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KICK THE CAN

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When I'm around people, I sometimes yell in my head "STOP READING MY MIND! I KNOW YOU'RE DOING IT, SO STOP!" just in case.

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Try to stop a stopwatch exactly on 1 second with no extra milliseconds

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I violate and then kill people, all ages and kinds... ..:But everyone does that right? I mean... Lol, I just type that because I am insecure now, and I kill when I am insecure... ...Excuse me.

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when im alone and in a bad mood i make stupid faces with my eyes closed and try and figure out how stupid i looked. then i start laughing hysterically because i think that im an idiot. then i repeat this process until i have to pee from laughing so hard because im already in the bathroom so why not utilize the toilet, rather than waiting for a commercial and speed-peeing because im scared that i missed some of the show i was watching :D -Grace-

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I sit in a chair upside down and pretend like i'm walking on the ceiling.

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Thinking about what is nothing and other deep shit when trying to fall asleep.

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i wonder why someone decided to spell words unusually for example why couldn't because be spelt becuz the way it sounds?!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.