Sometimes I read a whole page of text only to realize I didn't actually read any of it. Then I read it again. Sometimes this happens more than 3 times for one page.

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Think about past screw ups, then cross my eyes thinking to myself "I'm such a F---ing retard."

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Pretending you're a badass character from an anime or movie when listening to rock music (or something similar)

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Stand on the first floor and look up through the 2nd story railing just to look up women's skirts.

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worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

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Wondering if your life is a TV show, and people are watching what you do.

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After watching a video of someone doing something tiring, I always feel tired in whichever body part they were using in the video

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Randomly think odd scenarios in your head and say if that happened this is what i would do and then forget about it the next day

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Get to lazy to stand up in the shower so I sit down in the shower

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turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

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I masturbate evenly with both hands so that my penis doesn't become crooked.

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When I'm alone with my pet, sometimes we just sit down and stare at each each other for a minute or two

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do a fake cough when my shit is falling in the toilet

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when im in the toilet and invent something in my mind and dont have a pen and paper to wright my invention and when im done i forget about it...

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After eating a sandwich, eat the leftover sesame seeds one-by-one.

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Purposely save one piece of homework untill Sunday night in case you want to get out of doing something boring.

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Whenever I look in the bathroom mirror, I fear that I will see a terrible bloody monster standing behind me. I convince myself of this so completely that I panic and rush out right after I pee.

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Totally piss myself off by thinking of future confrontations that probably won't happen.

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jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

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I hate other people's mirrors, they make me look different

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That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

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Sometimes when im in my bed and trying to fall asleep, i don´t want to open my eyes in case there is a murderer standing before my bed.

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on hot summer days when I exit the shower I only dry off my legs to the point where they aren't dripping but my leg hair is still wet.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.