Scratch my ass/armpit and HAVE to smell it.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

After having an argument with your partner you text them later then halfway thru the text you forget hat you were going to say back track and tell them you love them! "didn't matter really did it lol"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

When sitting with my laptop on the sofa, and a family member is watching TV in the same room, chuckle occasionally at the screen, just so they know you're not watching porn or something.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Use an entirely different vocabulary in your head than everyday life.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

mentally scolding yourself for thinking something dirty just in case the person you're thinking about can read your thoughts

thumb_up thumb_down +126

Whenever Terminator 2 is on tv, I become enthralled and can't stop watching even though I've seen it a million times.

thumb_up thumb_down -76

When peeing, if I get pee on the seat I will flush the toilet before wiping it and then see if I can quickly wipe it and toss the toilet paper in the toilet before it finishes flushing.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

I seriously contemplate what my theme song would be. I imagine it would have no words and a slight Mission Impossible influence.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

hate Justin Bieber

thumb_up thumb_down -97

Play as both sides on fifa

thumb_up thumb_down -37

sometimes when im in the shower and i hear the slightest bump i look behind the curtains to see if anyone is about to scare me

thumb_up thumb_down -18

When I have a good dream I can't remember it the day after, but I can remember another dream I had a year ago.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I sit in my sink and pretend that I am water.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Think "When are we ever going to use this in our life?" while sitting bored in school.

thumb_up thumb_down +128

Listening to romantic hollywood sad core and feeling depressed because your single.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

I always leave a little coffee in the pot so that it becomes someone elses problem

thumb_up thumb_down -25

When no one is around I make sound effects for everything I do.

thumb_up thumb_down +643

Walking down the toy isle in the store, and feeling a little sad that you're not a kid anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Sometimes I think ''Someone somewhere in the world just got slapped'' or ''Someone just took a nasty shit''.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

When i'm done sleeping, I wake up.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

You pause while walking around your house when you're home alone because you think you heard a noise, but then realize it was just you walking.

thumb_up thumb_down +296

Yell at game shows when the people are stupid

thumb_up thumb_down -6

YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.