When it's 12:59 or 4:59 or something:59, I don't let myself blink/breathe until it's 1:00 or 5:00 or something:00. Anyone?

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Before I go to bed at night, I close the closet door so the monsters inside don't come get me while I'm sleeping.

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I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

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When I'm walking and I step on a crack with my left food, the next time I step on a crack it has to be my right foot and vise versa. I can't step on a crack twice in a row with the same foot. But I don't have to step on every crack.

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Put my finger over one pixel of my digital alarm clock, because I know that's the only one that will change in the next minute. Take it off. MAGIC.

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Force a piss out really hard because you're in a rush.

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make south park refferences every day

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Accidentally try to downloade PC software on your mac.

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I replace every word of a song with the name of my pet

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Repeat the phrase "you too" after a comment someone makes that does not apply. Bob: happy birthday Jim Jim: you too bob. Awwww sh!t.

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I lift my butt when I'm farting

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whenever i'm talking about someone, i constantly check my phone to make sure i haven't butt-dialed them and they're listening to everything i'm saying about them!

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When you have the " If I'm on an elevator and it breaks and is about to crash at the bottom, and I jump up before it does, will I live?" thought.

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When I was a little kid and something scared me (i.e. feel like being watched when I walked through the forest in the dark) I began to sing... and then I felt somehow protected. Weird, isn`t it?

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when singing to music on my ipod, i sometimes pause the music to hear how loud I am singing.

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When someone enters the room while i'm playing a game, start playing the best song of the game soundtrack so they notice it and think the game has a cool soundtrack.

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When I'm bored I argue with myself inside my head.

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In a meeting at work, you imagine throwing coffee into your boss's face, just to see what he would do.

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i noticed that a lot of people pronounce "LOL" like roll. Am i the only one that reads it as L. O. L. (el oh el) ????

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I wonder if elections are rigged?

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talking on the phone with somebody and then spending 10 minutes or so looking for your phone...

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Go outside and pee.

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Justin Beiber is a woman

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Eat my shed skin from a sunburn

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.