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When I tell human garbage that I am the Fallen Angel, they laugh at me, then I make them spontaneously combust. Moral: What moral whore?

Start to do homework online, end up on facebook :/

watch raindrops race down a window and see which one wins

use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

Realising that there are ASSHOLES posting dumb shit on this site.

only drink milk from a freshly opened carton

Random strong urge to squeeze immensely cute pet.

When I'm laying in bed, I make sure that my feet are covered and not hanging off the edge so that monsters don't eat them in my sleep.

When the adverts come on I forget what I'm watching and so spend five minutes trying to remember.

wake up in the middle of the night and write your dream if you like it. Or just write all night and dont sleep all night for days at a time.

I'm constantly struck with this odd sensation that I didn't wipe my ass well enough.

when I'm lying in bed and I really have to fart, I lift up the blanket, stick my ass out and fart into the night air to keep the stench out of my bed

Sometimes when my teacher calls on me in class I imagine myself saying F**** you and then having the whole class look at me in disbelief

Try to do things while waiting for the microwave.

Picking your dogs booger for him/her

think something you shouldn't, then stop thinking it, because someone might read your mind

When I'm listening to a sad song that relates to my life while I'm walking all alone, I mouth the words and pretend I'm in a music video.

I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

You try to tell a joke to impress everyone and then you mess it up.

Thinking that out there, on this earth in a lost city, there is an awesome clone of you.

eat the salt from the bottom of the pretzel bag

Play with my own boobs for no reason

Create the perfect song/poem/philosophical theory/scientific discovery right before you fall asleep and forget it in the morning.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.