it is not disgusting to bite your toe nails, it is a skill

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When there are multiple puddles on the sidewalk you try and jump in every single one of them

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When you can't use your hand to push a door, kick it and say "THIS IS SPARTA!!!"

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I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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I actually get stuck watching those rediculous infomercials late at night... Yeah - you're not alone. But no, I don't buy anything either... Lol.

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When a passneger in the car, I sing songs in my head and hope the song is in time with the signs and streetlights as I drive past them.

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Locking your pet in the room and forcing it to spend time with you.

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When someome asks you a question and you can't hear them so you say, "what?", then they say it again and you miss it so you just nod your head and say "yeah".

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Sittig on a table donating sperm to my friend gabe

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pee in the side of the toilet so its not as loud.

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When I'm waiting for someone who is late. I go-over in my head how I'm going to greet them. For example "Well, it's about damn time", or "Finally!".

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When I'm home alone at night, and the lights are on so you can't see anything out the windows, I will stop randomly and stare out the window to make anyone watching me think I know that they are there.

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While spending the night drinking with my spouse at home, i put a diaper on so i don't have to go to the bathroom every 5 minutes. I also change it for a fresh one when i go to bed.

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eat the salt from the bottom of the pretzel bag

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Not eat French fries because I don't like the taste rather than because they are unhealthy?

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Rinse off salted nuts before eating them

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acting as if you can shoot with a banana

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Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

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Why are the rich so friggin unhappy?

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When I'm about to go to the bathroom, I think of a million things that I have to do and try to do them all before I pee my pants.

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Pretend it doesn't hurt when someone I try for rejects me, but it does hurt, a lot.

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If I'm walking across a road and a car stops to allow me to pass, I say 'Thank you' even though I know full well they cannot hear me.

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I like to play with the condensation on the outside of glasses, sometimes drawing in it, or just wiping it all off. I get half-way annoyed when it comes back, until I play with it again.

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Pee in the shower.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.