I delete all notifications on my phone before i shut it off.

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

*Sees bug on wall while taking shower* *Splashes with shower water* *Bug slides down wall* >_

Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

Getting bored when a page is loading and scrolling the wheel on your mouse back and forth one click.

I replace every word of a song with the name of my pet

when you get a runny nose suddenly checks for blood oh good its clear

Whenever I Iook into the mirror, I think there's a second evil dimension.

I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

when you read a post that you don't do then start doing it

Constantly look at all clocks when the minute hand/digit reads '11'

look for old friends on facebook to see what they are up to now

When your sitting on the toilet you watch a video,or read something on your ipod/ipad/etc

Look at a word long enough to not seem like a word anymore, then sounding weird.

I seriously contemplate what my theme song would be. I imagine it would have no words and a slight Mission Impossible influence.

Think of something to post but cant put it into words.

When at a friend's or another person's house, I pee while standing up. But at home, I always sit down when i pee.

Not knowing whether to change it or not on a scantron test when the same letter appears more than 3 times in a row: A D C C C C .....but all the of my answers make sense!

Write "my opinion thinking-aloud-sentences" on the "circle the answer" test as footnotes when I'm not sure about the answer.

I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

do math problems in my head while having sex to keep from coming

i wonder why someone decided to spell words unusually for example why couldn't because be spelt becuz the way it sounds?!

RAPE CHILDREN

Be best friends with someone and tell them all your secrets and then they become best friends with someone else and you hope they won't tell your secrets

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.