I have dreams that I am really rich and wake up to be thankful for my life just the way it is

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When a room is dark and the light is really far away, I close my eyes to feel my way to the lamp.

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Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

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When I'm alone I occasionally like to give a little hump to the air. Not for sexual reasons or anything, just because it feels right.

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Get turned on when you see a girl yawn

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When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

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Think that my ice tastes different than my water.

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When I was younger I used to challenge myself with touching the roof I would first jump and see if I could touch it then I would try and see how long I can touch it and now every once in a while I just touch it and think of how far I have come.

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When i go to the bathroom i have to lift my shirt up the whole way.

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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Sometimes i think i've been living a dream life, and one day im really gonna wake up in the middle of 9th grade math class and have to explain why i was sleeping on my desk and jerking off so much.

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Dutch oven myself when I'm lying in bed trying to sleep

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I like to have a picture of my crush on my computer screen, and will walk around a room while he 'looks at me'.

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pull the poo out of my butt when im too impatient to push it out

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Say something in my head, but then wonder if i said it out loud and just didn't realize.

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Wally,you mean Obamney is the only choice?

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Whenever I go to the toilet on an airplane I worry that during the time I'm there the plane will drop out the sky.

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IM 13 years old when i touch something i have a feeling and wont let me do anything until i touch it again or 4 times or sometimes even 16 times i cant live like this its weird!!!!

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Closing your eyes and covering your ears when you think someone is going to throw up.

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i have conversations in my head about showing someone some music and end up playing specific parts of various songs on my ipod and memorise the timings just in case it does happen

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I'm in a hurry I press the elevator button several times

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spank it during my commute if I am in traffic

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I can only brush my teeth at exactly 7:43 AM...Am I weird?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.