Enjoy picking off scabs, thick skin around your nails, your nails, or the thick peeling skin left from a blister. Admit it, you love it.

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Waking up @ 4 AM wondering where your pillow went

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incognito mode on google chrome

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I split my gum in half so I can chew on both sides.

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I don't leave the toilet in a public restroom until the other person leaves, so I don't have to make awkward eye contact.

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The older I get the more honest I get

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How is it that celebrities no one likes keep popping up on shows everyone likes

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Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

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When Im bored in a house that has leafy/floral wallpaper I follow the stem with my finger all the way up to the top of the wall and then go back down again and think of a route that gets you all the way to the other side of the wall.

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Look at the toilet paper after i wipe my ass just to make sure i didn't leave anything behind..

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Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

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I often think I have the greastest taste in everything

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Right after moving to a new place I check my room for hidden cameras.

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I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing.

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If i've been thinking about a particular person a lot, afterwards if people are telling a story or describing a scenario, I always picture the person I was thinking of before as the person as the main character in their story/scenario.

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if I see submissions above mine get thumbs up but not mine I will put them down

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I use my mobile as a torch and keep hitting random buttons to keep it alight.

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when you can't think of anything to type you just type random letters. a;lsdfj;ldfkjsfasdfljf

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humiliating little girls

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When alone at home turn on all the lights before it gets darker.

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Show up for a blind date and say DAMN, WTF! When they open the door.

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After reading something from this site, I find myself compelled to try it.

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When i want to write a joke on anti jokes.com i laugh at my friends instead!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.