I post morals under every one of my new comments. Moral: Duh, I am moral man ffs! What do you expect! Its awesome! If things go at this phase I will be a celebrity in... hmm... in never!

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I'll sing nice and loud in the shower and wonder why I haven't come out with an album yet

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When I'm alone with my pet, sometimes we just sit down and stare at each each other for a minute or two

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Math tests-doing all the work for a problem only to find out my answer is not any of the multiple choices.

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Check your analog watch, wait for it to strike a minute, then look away and try to count 60 seconds out in your head before you look again. However many seconds you were away is your new record.

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I scratch and sniff.

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I Think people can read my mind....."if you can read my mind nod your head or don't if you don't want me to know that you can" It doesn't work either way but yeah thats just me lol

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I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

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Every time I go in a bathroom I have to look behind the shower curtain.

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I stop the microwave at 1 second so that one someone else uses it it beeps

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Sometimes when im sitting in class i start thinking how i would save the whole classroom if someone was to come in with a gun and start shooting.

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Lay down in bed and get comfortable and then realize you have to pee.

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Pretend to listen to iPod, but actually eavesdrop on the people around me.

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When you're out for a run, you pretend that someone is chasing after you so you run harder.

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I always think I have special powers

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Look at a word long enough to not seem like a word anymore, then sounding weird.

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Say something smart in class, then worry your friends will rip ony uo for it half way through saying it, so end it by saying "or something like that."

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I put my finger in jars of jam/yoghurt/honey etc then lick the finger and repeat and hope nobody see's me.

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Have a fantasy where Jesus Christ is jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole with a lawn dart while Garth Brooks gives birth to something resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus's tummy-tum.

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I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

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When someone is reading something out loud in class...and they are reading REALLY slow...You quietly read fast and you try to beat them to the end of the paragraph

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Look to the right, and see nothing. Look to the left, and see nothing. Look to the right again, and see the chick from the ring (or some scary shit) standing there.

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Search through the most popular section of this website trying to find my one

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Press cancel on your toaster before it finishes so that you can eat faster

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.