I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Never eat curry before school otherwise you will have a massive poo

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Not expecting anyone to come over, some one knocks on the front door, mute the TV and hope they just go away.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

I wonder why the word ISLAND has an "S" in it?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Think about blinking, and then realize that when you think about blinking, you can't stop thinking about blinking, and thus a 3-4 minute awkward blinking-fest begins.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Use the toilet shower to wipe your a**, but denies the fact until death for your friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

collect kleenex boxes for the cool designs

thumb_up thumb_down -72

Make scary faces in the mirror and try to scare myself

thumb_up thumb_down +32

When you had a crush on a girl in elementary school, then don't see her in middle school and think of how much of a bitch she was. Then You start crushing on her again in high school.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

cringe when I squeeze a cotton ball, ugh

thumb_up thumb_down -40

When there are multiple puddles on the sidewalk you try and jump in every single one of them

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Anytime I walk in anyplace with cracks in the ground (tiled floors, cement squares, etc.) I do my best to avoid stepping on cracks in fear of something happening if I do.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I daydream about what would happen if my phone rang in public and I had a ringtone of a cool song and what people think about the song and if they think I'm cool for it, or if they see some sort of symbolic meaning in the song. I do this while pacing around my room listening to the song. I think about what people I know would think about certain lyrics in the song. I do this all the time.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

When I do something stupid and people are around I hope that nobody saw me and I never tell anyone what I did. But if i do something stupid and I am alone I feel I have to tell somebody.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Turn the door knob while closing the door ...so it doesn't make a loud noise.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

I always write b as d or d as b since I've learned the alphabet, and i hate my keyboarb cuz its on lower case every time.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Blast yur music in the car when you are alone but when someone pulls up next to you u turn it down so u don't make them think yur an ass

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Answering questions that weren't directed at me, then awkwardly playing it off like they were talking to you.

thumb_up thumb_down +236

When you are looking over someones shoulder and they look at you thinking you are staring at them so you suddenly turn your head

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Fantasize about being with somebody else when I have sex

thumb_up thumb_down -111

I can only brush my teeth at exactly 7:43 AM...Am I weird?

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Any time I hear someone speaking with an accent, I start mimicking that accident. –Ikka

thumb_up thumb_down -48

When you look at the sidewalk and try to step on the boxes instead of the lines, and feel like you need to do it a number of times per leg to make it even.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.