sneeze without closing my eyes

Hatch an escape plan as soon as my date starts to complain about anything.

Consume skin around finger nails. Cuticle too.

When I woke up this morning I was asleep.

See someone thats so hot all you can think about is seeing them naked all day.

i noticed that a lot of people pronounce "LOL" like roll. Am i the only one that reads it as L. O. L. (el oh el) ????

At the peak of orgasm, i used to think that im making out with someone else (like my crush) to make me cum.

When I have my headphones in, and I'm miming the words to a song in the bathroom pretending that I'm playing a gig. I put the tap on to make sure no one hears me dancing.

smoke marijuana

When the adverts come on I forget what I'm watching and so spend five minutes trying to remember.

Fire imaginary rocket launchers at passenger planes flying overhead, then panic thinking what if it really blows up?

when making thing only you think you do you never read the terms of service

Turns the bathroom sink water on so no one hears you pee nikki

Sometimes when I'm excitedly hurrying out of the house, I skip for a brief moment.

Being all alone in your house and your mind starts to believe its haunted.

My hoodie/jacket strings HAVE to be equal in length, or I pull them then restretch the hood out to make them even.

when you bleed you suck your own blood

I read your stuff at the interwebs and think "sons, I am disappoint" Moral: Lol, I just might be your father you know... But that does not mean you disappoint me anymore, I kinda expect your worst? Best? I mean... Are you doing your worst on purpose? WOW!

when singing to music on my ipod, i sometimes pause the music to hear how loud I am singing.

Before getting in the shower, staring at your naked body, thinking your sexy.

If I am waiting on someone and they are late, I start mentally listing their faults, flaws and mistakes but feel kind of bad for doing it when they finally show up.

while you put your t-shirt on, you get frightened that someone's watching you behind your shirt so you try to put it on as soon as possible.

When I drive I cut corners even at low speeds so that the people behind me think I am experienced race car driver.

Whenever I hear someones name being announced on a p.a., in a store for example....I say out loud 'never heard of him/her'

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.