When I walk past a homeless person asking for change, I avoid looking them in the eye and walk faster.

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Lie in bed at night, imagining things I want to happen in my life while trying to fall asleep.

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Sometimes I read a whole page of text only to realize I didn't actually read any of it. Then I read it again. Sometimes this happens more than 3 times for one page.

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When walking on the sidewalk, try to walk the same number of steps on each square without looking awkward. (now, this is sooo weird, I have no clue if ANYBODY has ever done this more than once)

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Check the time on my cell phone, put it back in my pocket. Dammit, didn't see the time. Check it again.

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Reach my hand inside the room to turn the light on before I go in.

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When I'm hungry I look in the fridge, but there's nothing good to eat so I shut the door and walk away. Then I look in the fridge again 10 seconds later in the hope that new food has arrived Robbie

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When my soap is running low, I add water to it.

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Get that shiver when you're peeing.

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I wish I was born again, but I had all of the knowledge I have now.

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pull the poo out of my butt when im too impatient to push it out

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Not clicking the Facebook 'like' button on "pee in the side of the toilet so its not as loud", because it will show up on your profile, and you think other people will think you're strange.

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Stare at people until they notice, and when they notice watch them out of the corner of your eye until they turn.. and then you continue staring

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sing really loud to songs in the car, but stop when people are right next to you at stoplights.

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Pretend I'm much more popular than I am with people who don't know my social life.

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i run my 2 fingers across a wall like they're ninja feet when im happy.

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Think something that you REALLY don't want to think and hurriedly force your mind to change its thoughts.

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Trying not to fart when laughing is challenging.

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oh snap, i got a boner. hope nobody notices

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Before I go to bed at night, I close the closet door so the monsters inside don't come get me while I'm sleeping.

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I look at people and think, "they poop" then as I'm imagining them pooping I hurry and change thoughts before they finish.

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no magazine on toilet? read shampoo bottle

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Am I the only one who wrote "free Candy" on the side of my van?

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Whenever we watch a movie or stupid educational film in school, I sleep.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.