After washing butt, turn my butt towards the shower and spread butt cheeks apart to wash the soap out of my crack.

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Think about all of the germs that are on restroom doors and water taps.

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after you've been in a fight i usually think up some epic move i could've done instead.

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Do sex sensations feel exactly the same for the opposite sex.

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run inside after taking out the trash because a monster might be hiding in the big trash can

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Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

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I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

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When I am in class or somewhere boring I start getting thoughts of weird senerios like a group of zombies swamping the place or being hit by an earthquake etc and being one of the surivors. But then i realise that the possibility of that happening is incredibly slim and get depressed. Bananas!

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The volume level on my TV has to be either an even number or a multiple of five.

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When walking in a pub or a mall or any place which has music playing, I walk along with the beats thinking that I will look super cool doing that!

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become increasingly panicked when its dark and you cant find the door handle.

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I chew around the center of carrots.

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Freak out at sudden noises when home alone at night.

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When someome asks you a question and you can't hear them so you say, "what?", then they say it again and you miss it so you just nod your head and say "yeah".

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Tryng to run away from, or at least be faster than my shadow.

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I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

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Emmy Jackson Y U ALWAYS ANGRY WHEN SOMEONE SAY HI

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Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

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You take showers on school morning because you like to stand there under the hot water just thinking about life while your warm

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When I masturbate I trade hands often in fear that my penis may become crooked.

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Typing what you want to put in a message, then deleting it because you daren't send it

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I sleep in the nude.

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Mayada stupid

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.