pleasure my self... because I didn't they automatically censored certain words

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Seeing a cartoon character eat something makes me hungry for it even though it may not taste good in real life and I know that.

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when im lying in bed in summer and im hot i just turn my sheets on the other side so its cool again

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I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

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When I'm bored I think of what it would be like to be a women.

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I always twist my washcloth into a cone shape, so when I take my next shower it is dry and hardened. Then I pretend stab it into my stomach and say "MY LIFE FOR AIUR!" before getting it wet again.

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recycle the peanuts in my poop to make organic peanut butter

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Purposely save one piece of homework untill Sunday night in case you want to get out of doing something boring.

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everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

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When I look at a clear blue sky, I'm convinced that I see little tiny floaty things, and think that I'm seeing air molecules.

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That microscopic flying things that follows my eyes' motion, especially when i look up in the sky.

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listening to music and not realizing ur favorite song is on until the last word

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If someone asks me if I want something and they get up to get it and im sitting down, I say " oh I can get it" eventhough they are already up just to not seem like a lazy piece of shit

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Always run up the stairs as if someone was chasing you.

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use any nearby window's reflection you walk by to check on appearance.

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when going to get a drink, i accidently pull out a bowl, or plate, later realizing what i did, i put it back, and get a cup

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Whenever I switch sides on my bed, I feel like when I turn around some scary clown face is going to be RIGHT THERE in my face

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Walking around on the streets wondering if you are really walking in place, and the earth is spinning according to how you walk, like a treadmill.

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Closed the door to the refrigerator super slow, just to watch the light turn off.

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Skip peeing before bed because you dont feel like it, knowing that in about 15 minutes youre going to have to get back up because you wont be able to fall asleep until you go pee.

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Looking at these in school when it's dead silent and trying so hard not to laugh so you won't get yelled at.

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i see almost everything as a sign

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when someone is talking about something i have no idea of and then asked me if i agree I'm like: oh yes! and then promptly changing subject so they won't find out

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Embarassingly repeatedly use of the word "bro" when irritated or excited.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.