Assume that on another planet or galaxy there are people just like humans that look exactly like me. Like an alternate universe.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down +16

I walk down the stairs sideways because I'm afraid something will get me.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

thumb_up thumb_down -82

sometimes i mouth improvised, ridiculous sentences in the mirror to see what i look like when i talk to people

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Whenever I walk through automatic doors I say "Thank You"

thumb_up thumb_down -105

Wake up after a dream. About a day later you think about if it was real or not.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Smoking a cigarette on the toilet and then accidentally ashing directly into your panties. Everytime.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

if your listening to music, move the volume up and down to experience the bass a lil better

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

When watching a video or listening to music, take earbuds out four or five times in repetition to make sure that no one can hear the audio but you, then check them again when someone comes within twenty feet of you. Then, spend the rest of the time feeling awkward and expecting someone to jump out of the bushes and take a video of that idiot with the defective headphones.

thumb_up thumb_down -70

I use two pillows as I sleep, but I don't put them under my head, I put my head in between them.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Take a dump in the dark... Anyone but me?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

During an assembly, I try to be the last one to clap/ stand up/ sit down.

thumb_up thumb_down +529

Think of a song, tv show, or movie for a brief moment. Hear/see it the next day.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

You always go to the corner of the shower when the cold water is running.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

While in the "try on" rooms of a clothing store, check myself out in the massive, wall mirror that's in there... and/or get nervous that someone is watching me.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Waking up from a dream that you thought was real life, and thinking,man i wish that was real...

thumb_up thumb_down +1,513

Find it impossible to get rid of the itch on the bottom of my feet or my palms when they're itchy

thumb_up thumb_down -33

See my "double reflection" in 2 mirrors and then get freaked out for a good ten minutes that my usual image of myself is actually the flipped version...

thumb_up thumb_down -47

while you put your t-shirt on, you get frightened that someone's watching you behind your shirt so you try to put it on as soon as possible.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Repeat the phrase "you too" after a comment someone makes that does not apply. Bob: happy birthday Jim Jim: you too bob. Awwww sh!t.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

While talking on the phone you can't think of anything to say then it gets awkwardly quiet

thumb_up thumb_down -46

if im somewhere and say i get a itchy ass,i would say to a friend whilst sctatching " i have the itchyist but whole in the world right now" jokingly. but then think to myself, i wonder if there is someone in the world right now at the same time as me who has actually got a itchyer butt lol

thumb_up thumb_down -101

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.