im going to RAPEEEE that girl

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place all your achievements in your room to impress your friends

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pinch the tip of my dick when I masturbate.

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Looking at these in school when it's dead silent and trying so hard not to laugh so you won't get yelled at.

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When I see myself in the mirror, I have to make a funny face just to make sure my face still works.

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Look at my eyes really close in the mirror and turn the lights off, wait, and then back on just watch my pupils change size. PS: Really? No way - I could've sworn I was the only weirdo who did that!

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When no one is around I make sound effects for everything I do.

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use cleverbot to chat to automated dating chat bots. even if i don't understand swedish.

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Change the channel during commercials when you have the remote, when you don't you go insane and say "TURN IT BACK WE'LL MISS THE START!!!"

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I read your stuff at the interwebs and think "sons, I am disappoint" Moral: Lol, I just might be your father you know... But that does not mean you disappoint me anymore, I kinda expect your worst? Best? I mean... Are you doing your worst on purpose? WOW!

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try as hard as possible to not use the last of the toilet paper so you don't have to change the roll and inadvertently force someone else to do it.

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Hate people who don't dress like you because they're not fashionable. Hate people who do dress like you because they threaten your individuality.

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When I use deodorant, I flap my arms like a chicken a couple of times to get some air moving under there...

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After eating a sandwich, eat the leftover sesame seeds one-by-one.

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use the restroom at a different floor/building when taking a dump at work.

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make it a point of interest to know every word to a song that nobody likes. (i.e. call me maybe) >.>

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A stranger makes me mad. Spend all day thinking about badass things that I should have done/said.

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When leaving your basement, become increasingly conscious of how you are scared of something getting you. SPRINT UP STAIRS.

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has a plastic bag full of plastic bags in your house

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Cry every day just because it makes you feel better.

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trying to look cool when you're driving past other cars.

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When playing a game you refer to the kid you don't know as "kid" - ar2

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I have seen a UFO

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Turn the fan and/or sink on in the bathroom to drown out the noise from masturbating.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.