Look at the clock, then instantly forget what time it is and look again.

thumb_up thumb_down +286

Pee in the shower

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Laugh when something happens to someone, but when the exact same happens to you, you say "Its not funny"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

think up the funniest jokes right before i go to sleep and cant think of them the next day

thumb_up thumb_down -46

trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

hate Justin Bieber

thumb_up thumb_down -99

Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I'm not bad looking and I don't fall into the beautiful category either but I really feel good about the way I look

thumb_up thumb_down -19

smile when you find out that the things you only do is right.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

act like people from movies or shows just because my life is that boring

thumb_up thumb_down +35

When I get a worksheet or a piece of paper with BIG TITLES I immediately shade in all of the gaps in the o's, p's, d's and all other 'hole letters'. And then I start shading in all the words when I finish.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Feel all cool and look suspiciously at everybody else while leaving the theater after a good dramatic movie.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Only one tissue left in the box... I'll just use toilet paper.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

check for spiders under the toilet seat before taking a dump

thumb_up thumb_down -27

I have short haircuts so I don't have messed up hair in the morning (It's a real time saver)

thumb_up thumb_down -10

When doing your hair or makeup you pretend your doing a tutourial when nones around

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Waiting alone inside a public toilet for someone to come in and open the door.... so you don't have to touch the handle!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Walking down stairs. Accidently miss last step. Feel like you're going to die.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Blow dry my dick and balls after getting out of the shower.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

When i talk i say i like how or i hate that.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Think that some of the posts here are pretty damn normal and how that means I am much weirder than I thought I was

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Look at the clock to realize that it seems like the "second" hand is taking longer on the number its on right when you look at it, and/or you looked at the clock at the absolute perfect time. And it happens frequently..

thumb_up thumb_down -122

Shit in the shower and pushing it down the drain with your feet

thumb_up thumb_down -146

When I was a kid and I misbehaved when my dad used to smack me I would put emphasis in my cries to let him think that I got the lesson.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.