sneeze without closing my eyes

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Hatch an escape plan as soon as my date starts to complain about anything.

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Consume skin around finger nails. Cuticle too.

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When I woke up this morning I was asleep.

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See someone thats so hot all you can think about is seeing them naked all day.

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i noticed that a lot of people pronounce "LOL" like roll. Am i the only one that reads it as L. O. L. (el oh el) ????

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At the peak of orgasm, i used to think that im making out with someone else (like my crush) to make me cum.

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When I have my headphones in, and I'm miming the words to a song in the bathroom pretending that I'm playing a gig. I put the tap on to make sure no one hears me dancing.

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smoke marijuana

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When the adverts come on I forget what I'm watching and so spend five minutes trying to remember.

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Fire imaginary rocket launchers at passenger planes flying overhead, then panic thinking what if it really blows up?

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when making thing only you think you do you never read the terms of service

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Turns the bathroom sink water on so no one hears you pee nikki

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Sometimes when I'm excitedly hurrying out of the house, I skip for a brief moment.

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Being all alone in your house and your mind starts to believe its haunted.

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My hoodie/jacket strings HAVE to be equal in length, or I pull them then restretch the hood out to make them even.

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when you bleed you suck your own blood

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I read your stuff at the interwebs and think "sons, I am disappoint" Moral: Lol, I just might be your father you know... But that does not mean you disappoint me anymore, I kinda expect your worst? Best? I mean... Are you doing your worst on purpose? WOW!

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when singing to music on my ipod, i sometimes pause the music to hear how loud I am singing.

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Before getting in the shower, staring at your naked body, thinking your sexy.

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If I am waiting on someone and they are late, I start mentally listing their faults, flaws and mistakes but feel kind of bad for doing it when they finally show up.

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while you put your t-shirt on, you get frightened that someone's watching you behind your shirt so you try to put it on as soon as possible.

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When I drive I cut corners even at low speeds so that the people behind me think I am experienced race car driver.

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Whenever I hear someones name being announced on a p.a., in a store for example....I say out loud 'never heard of him/her'

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.