Pee in my work garbage can.

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I have memorized most commercials and recite them when they come on the tv.

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after dialing a number and clicking "call" constanly rehearse what your going to say when the other person picks up the line

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I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

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never wanting to poop in other houses. You have to use your toilet

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When I'm in a place with two different colored tiles, I only step on the colored ones and pretend the white ones are lava or off-limits.

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Whenever on a car ride, pretend you are in a military convoy and shoot at pursuing helicopters and soldiers.

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Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

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When bored in class.. I catch eyes with someone across the room and look away fast, then act "cool" for the next 10 minutes because I still think they're looking at me...

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You look over the edge of a tall building/structure, and have that sudden urge to jump off.

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Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

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Reach my hand inside the room to turn the light on before I go in.

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When I'm over at my friends house and they get in a fight with their sibling, I just pet their dog.

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People looking at me when listening to my Ipod. "Can they hear my music?" *turn volume down*

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pee in my pants on purpose for the fun of it

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getting excited when you find a recycled tissue in your robe/sweatshirt so you don't know have to get up to get one yourself?

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smell your socks cause you like the smell of your own sweat

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I flip the pillow at night to feel the cool sensation.

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Play my music so low in public that I can hardly hear it in my headphones for fear of others being able to hear what I'm listening to.

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pull the poo out of my butt when im too impatient to push it out

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When someome asks you a question and you can't hear them so you say, "what?", then they say it again and you miss it so you just nod your head and say "yeah".

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after seeing toy story, and watching that toys moved and talked to each other when the humans werent around, thinking that toys are really like that when you gone, and when you go back to you room, the toys rush back into their spots.

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Every time i take a drink from a cup, i rotate the cup so i never drink from the same place.

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Race the microwave. Not literally, by the way.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.