Whenever I look in the bathroom mirror, I fear that I will see a terrible bloody monster standing behind me. I convince myself of this so completely that I panic and rush out right after I pee.

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Post one on this site thinking everyone will love you but then you realize you're the 2,833 person to post on this site and no one will ever see it. If this is still where it was when I posted it, then congratulations! You've read through 300 FUCKING PAGES! (that meant go get a job)

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When I see myself in the mirror, I have to make a funny face just to make sure my face still works.

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Think that when you're reading something or watching tv some people somewhere are knowing what your watching or whether or not you understand what you just read so you don't wanna reread it to risk looking stupid.

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use any nearby window's reflection you walk by to check on appearance.

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Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

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Squeezing my cat's face back so it looks Chinese.

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When I turn the volume up or Down it has to be a number with 0 or 5 in

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getting excited when you find a recycled tissue in your robe/sweatshirt so you don't know have to get up to get one yourself?

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When I drink out of a disposable coffee cup with a lid, the opening on the lid has be on the exact opposite side from the seam where the cup is glued to form the cylinder.

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Go on Omegle video chat and worry that you'll see someone you know

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When I woke up this morning I was asleep.

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pretend your on the phone talking to someone to make you look like you not a loner

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Take everything out of the fridge, and climb in it, and pretend your in a time capsule.

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Pee in the shower.

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Hot in bed? Stick one leg out and then wrap it around the top of the duvet

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when I'm lying in bed and I really have to fart, I lift up the blanket, stick my ass out and fart into the night air to keep the stench out of my bed

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I really like taking shits.

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People looking at me when listening to my Ipod. "Can they hear my music?" *turn volume down*

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Watching a movie with bugs in it and instantly feeling that shivery 'holy sh*t there are bugs on me' feeling.

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not be afraid of hurricane sandy

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Shake my hands frantically back and forth when watching the microwave count down or the printer print, as if it will make them go faster.

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Close all the windows on my computer when parents walk in.

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Eat pizza backwards because the crust isn't as good as the cheese part and I want to get that over with.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.