I delete all notifications on my phone before i shut it off.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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*Sees bug on wall while taking shower* *Splashes with shower water* *Bug slides down wall* >_

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Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

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Getting bored when a page is loading and scrolling the wheel on your mouse back and forth one click.

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I replace every word of a song with the name of my pet

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when you get a runny nose suddenly checks for blood oh good its clear

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Whenever I Iook into the mirror, I think there's a second evil dimension.

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I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

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when you read a post that you don't do then start doing it

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Constantly look at all clocks when the minute hand/digit reads '11'

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look for old friends on facebook to see what they are up to now

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When your sitting on the toilet you watch a video,or read something on your ipod/ipad/etc

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Look at a word long enough to not seem like a word anymore, then sounding weird.

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I seriously contemplate what my theme song would be. I imagine it would have no words and a slight Mission Impossible influence.

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Think of something to post but cant put it into words.

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When at a friend's or another person's house, I pee while standing up. But at home, I always sit down when i pee.

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Not knowing whether to change it or not on a scantron test when the same letter appears more than 3 times in a row: A D C C C C .....but all the of my answers make sense!

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Write "my opinion thinking-aloud-sentences" on the "circle the answer" test as footnotes when I'm not sure about the answer.

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I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

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do math problems in my head while having sex to keep from coming

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i wonder why someone decided to spell words unusually for example why couldn't because be spelt becuz the way it sounds?!

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RAPE CHILDREN

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Be best friends with someone and tell them all your secrets and then they become best friends with someone else and you hope they won't tell your secrets

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.