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When I tell human garbage that I am the Fallen Angel, they laugh at me, then I make them spontaneously combust. Moral: What moral whore?

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Start to do homework online, end up on facebook :/

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watch raindrops race down a window and see which one wins

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use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

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Realising that there are ASSHOLES posting dumb shit on this site.

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only drink milk from a freshly opened carton

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Random strong urge to squeeze immensely cute pet.

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When I'm laying in bed, I make sure that my feet are covered and not hanging off the edge so that monsters don't eat them in my sleep.

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When the adverts come on I forget what I'm watching and so spend five minutes trying to remember.

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wake up in the middle of the night and write your dream if you like it. Or just write all night and dont sleep all night for days at a time.

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I'm constantly struck with this odd sensation that I didn't wipe my ass well enough.

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when I'm lying in bed and I really have to fart, I lift up the blanket, stick my ass out and fart into the night air to keep the stench out of my bed

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Sometimes when my teacher calls on me in class I imagine myself saying F**** you and then having the whole class look at me in disbelief

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Try to do things while waiting for the microwave.

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Picking your dogs booger for him/her

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think something you shouldn't, then stop thinking it, because someone might read your mind

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When I'm listening to a sad song that relates to my life while I'm walking all alone, I mouth the words and pretend I'm in a music video.

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I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

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You try to tell a joke to impress everyone and then you mess it up.

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Thinking that out there, on this earth in a lost city, there is an awesome clone of you.

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eat the salt from the bottom of the pretzel bag

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Play with my own boobs for no reason

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Create the perfect song/poem/philosophical theory/scientific discovery right before you fall asleep and forget it in the morning.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.