Only one tissue left in the box... I'll just use toilet paper.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Whenever you are in a quiet room and are trying to eat a food that is very loud to chew (like chips) you try to chew slowly or alter your chewing style so noone will think your too loud

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YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

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I pick at my cuticles when I'm bored.

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You question gods existence and evolution but then quickly tell herself hes real so you don't get struck with a lighting bolt

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Laying alone in bed at night and then every single scary thought, face, image, movie, or whatever starts playing in your mind.

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Listening to a song, thinking about having the life of the singer in the band

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When i was a kid. I really dont care about the story of any animated film. As long as im watching it.

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Imagine I'm being filmed in a reality TV show just so I could do something productive or interesting.

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Hearing someone say something but saying "what" because you need more time to think of an answer

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I don't read the terms of service.

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

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When you don't have enough money for something, you just take a tiny bit of money from your siblings and parents room at a time so they don't notice any different

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When no one is home or if no one is looking you go in the fridge and drink right out of the bottle.

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Saying "ow" even though whatever happened did not actually hurt, but you thought that it would.

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see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

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use cleverbot to chat to automated dating chat bots. even if i don't understand swedish.

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I can't brush my teeth and rinse in the sink right after I flush the toilet, for fear of it being connected somehow, and rinsing with my own piss.

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I think Lois Griffin on Family Guy is hot!

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Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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Hate people who don't dress like you because they're not fashionable. Hate people who do dress like you because they threaten your individuality.

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Dad, what's that dark place over there? That's Chorley son, you must never go there.

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Pretend that when you are in the shower, the shower head is a giant machine gun, that takes thousands of men to operate, and that you were an extremely large person and you catch ALL of the bullets in your mouth, spitting them at the shower head while at the same time turning off the water as if they all died, and the small drips that continue to drop out were the dead soldires' blood.....-dillon

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.