I can't brush my teeth and rinse in the sink right after I flush the toilet, for fear of it being connected somehow, and rinsing with my own piss.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

When I'm riding in the car, I'll spot a tree, make it my goal and try to beat the car on the opposite side of the road to it. (Seriously I don't think anyone else does this!)

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Say something in my head, but then wonder if i said it out loud and just didn't realize.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Sit down in a grass field... immediately start pulling up grass.

thumb_up thumb_down +90

I act as though I've had movie cameras placed in my eyes and a bunch of people will watch my life as a movie at some point. And so I do a narration voice for them.

thumb_up thumb_down +157

Everytime I get new magazines or brochures in the mail I like to open them and smell them. Same with new electronics, I love that new smell.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Take out all the marshmallows in a bowl of Lucky Charms, eat the "cat food" (the dry cereal that looks like dry kitty food!), then put the marshmallows back in the milk and eat them!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Sometimes when you're at work and you're REALLY horny, you look around at the women you work with and think who you really would like to bone, then on another particular day when you aren't horny, you see the same women and think to yourself " I must have REALLY been horny. What was I thinking?" lol (not trying to be gross, but honestly, who doesn't get horny while at work sometimes)

thumb_up thumb_down +3

when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

thumb_up thumb_down -87

Hang something small in front of the webcam, in case someone is secretly watching me.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

looking at the bottom when i meet foreigners talking among themselves... dang. no subtitles.

thumb_up thumb_down -101

Whenever someone is making a speech, I imagine them being taken out by a sniper mid-speech...

thumb_up thumb_down +207

I never find things funny unless I'm in a completely silent room, and it is then that I think or see something funny and begin to almost cry of laughter.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Have a dream that you can breath under water and wake up and be very disappointed

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Write something down here so that it seems like you think its normal when your actually really paranoid that its not.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

when i eat, i sometimes switch which side of my mouth i chew my food with to even it out.

thumb_up thumb_down +750

While listening to songs, your always thinking of a situation to go along with it.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,357

think that things u do aren't gross and when other people do them its disgusting

thumb_up thumb_down +623

I think SpongeBob and Patrick are rude, inconsiderate a_holes. ... That's right, I'm an adult and I watch SpongeBob. lol

thumb_up thumb_down +97

I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

When you're walking along at night and you see the moon, then you move around quickly,still looking at it as if you're controlling it.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

In the shower, or just when I'm alone, I imagine having confrontations with people in my life and play out the entire conversation by myself, lip syncing the words with emotions and all.

thumb_up thumb_down +436

Thinking about what you want to dream about while brushing your teeth at night.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

when i'm in a really good mood i think everybody is watching and admiring me

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.