Sometimes I forget that there are spiders in my bedroom, so after I've seen one I can't sleep for several days for fear that they'll eat me if I do. Then I forget about them again and thus the cycle starts.

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Force a piss out really hard because you're in a rush.

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I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

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When you're scared of the bathroom and you close your eyes you quickly look around to check if there's a monster or something in the mirror

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I blow my nose in my towel after i dry off. Then use the same towel the next day. lol

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Smelling food to see if its spicy.

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Walking with your friend talking about everything then you and your friend walk by someone you don't know and it gets awkwardly quiet

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Sometimes when you're at work and you're REALLY horny, you look around at the women you work with and think who you really would like to bone, then on another particular day when you aren't horny, you see the same women and think to yourself " I must have REALLY been horny. What was I thinking?" lol (not trying to be gross, but honestly, who doesn't get horny while at work sometimes)

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stop the microwave when I hear the food popping

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Imagining a friend can see everything you do during the day through telepathy.

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Squeezing my cat's face back so it looks Chinese.

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I love the feeling of covering my entire body in Barbisol shaving cream,shaving my cock n balls,then masturbating.have you ever done this?

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have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

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Trying to figure out what form of suicide would hurt the least.

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When I'm watching a video on YouTube, I repeatedly click on the video slider section below the video because I feel uncomfortable not doing it, ever since I realized that you can't move to different parts of the video with your keyboard without clicking there first.

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

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Live in a house my whole life and still not know what switch does which

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Blink and pretend that you just took a picture with your eyes.

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Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

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I know it is pointless but still hope to get THUMBS UP

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if someone posts something disgusting but true on this same site, rethink pressing the "thumbs up" button out of embaressment.

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when my mum buys way too much of something I imagine were one of those 'doomsday preppers' families, with mounds of supplies in our basement.

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I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

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When I eat potato chips, I lick each side to make sure the really salty part is down.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.