I always walk down the hall James Bond style. Gun out, along the wall, looking around corners before I walk into or by a room.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Say a word over and over until it sounds weird

thumb_up thumb_down -45

turn on my reading light when I get in bed just to check if there's a monster.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Drink half the water in a water bottle and then swish it around pretending to drown little people inside it.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

Buying a new song, listening to it on repeat for hours until it gets old, and then never listening to it again.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

I have tons of imaginary conversations in my head with people I know, but they never happen. It's worse when something funny happens in the imaginary conversation and I laugh to myself, and if someone notices I can't even say that I was remembering something because I wasn't, it had never happened...

thumb_up thumb_down +647

Lay down in bed and get comfortable and then realize you have to pee.

thumb_up thumb_down +337

Sex scene comes on TV while you are watching with your parents... Try to act normal... Fail.

thumb_up thumb_down +164

trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

I never find things funny unless I'm in a completely silent room, and it is then that I think or see something funny and begin to almost cry of laughter.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

I think I have superpowers and sometimes I try to use them by force, like lifting a pencil with my mind or elevate from the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down +304

While listening to music, I imagine an insanely huge dance number to go along with it.

thumb_up thumb_down +239

I wish I was born again, but I had all of the knowledge I have now.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,224

*Sees bug on wall while taking shower* *Splashes with shower water* *Bug slides down wall* >_

thumb_up thumb_down +152

I approach balcony ledges with my feet firmly planted, just in case a random person decides to come pick me up and throw me off the balcony.

thumb_up thumb_down +272

before i go to sleep i must check the front door knob multiple times to make sure its locked

thumb_up thumb_down +168

Tap different rythyms with my fingers and keep doing it over and over until the rythym ends on the last finger

thumb_up thumb_down +304

Imagining how it would feel to switch bodies with your crush

thumb_up thumb_down -13

While peeing, I will sometimes flush the toilet mid-stream and see if I can finish before it flushes all the way.

thumb_up thumb_down +956

Create my response for the whole conversation before even having it

thumb_up thumb_down -60

I have to check my closet for monsters so they don't get me while I sleep

thumb_up thumb_down +18

When walking on stairs, always counting how many of them there are.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Counting the lines on the street as they pass the edge of your cars window.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.