pull the poo out of my butt when im too impatient to push it out

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Popping your finger in your bellybutton, and then smelling it. You secretly like the cheesy smell.

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I save my files as "askjaskjaks" because I'm too lazy to give them a proper name.

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When I'm over at my friends house and they get in a fight with their sibling, I just pet their dog.

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When someome asks you a question and you can't hear them so you say, "what?", then they say it again and you miss it so you just nod your head and say "yeah".

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After learning a new word, I hear it used and written EVERYWHERE for the next week.

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Sometimes when I'm in the shower, I start kicking the bar of soap.

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when you are pooping you fart and it scares you a little bit.

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Pee in the shower

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While spending the night drinking with my spouse at home, i put a diaper on so i don't have to go to the bathroom every 5 minutes. I also change it for a fresh one when i go to bed.

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I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

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See someone thats so hot all you can think about is seeing them naked all day.

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worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

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when i wake up from a dream and it was an amazing dream. then i try to fall back asleep to have it again...it doesn't work

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Listen to music while browsing the internet, having facebook open in another tab, and randomly you hear facebook message sounds, even though they aren't really there.

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Put on different accents, ad talk to my self in the mirror.

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While at the movies, grab and eat your popcorn with your tongue and pretend you are a lizard.

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Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.

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I use the internet to validate that weirdness is not actually weird at all.

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A lot of times I believe things I see or things that happen are "signs" of something.

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Instead of using the twist ties on bread, I spin the bag of bread and then tuck the flap underneath.

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when i watch tv and it cuts to break, if i hear someone on the tv tell me not to change the chanel, ill say "u cant tell me what to do!" and then ill change it.

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pee in the side of the toilet so its not as loud.

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When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.