Laugh harder when trying to explain what you are laughing about

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I constantly try to turn something I say into my catch phrase.

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Sometimes i think i've been living a dream life, and one day im really gonna wake up in the middle of 9th grade math class and have to explain why i was sleeping on my desk and jerking off so much.

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in my mind, traffic cones are called VLC.

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If I am waiting on someone and they are late, I start mentally listing their faults, flaws and mistakes but feel kind of bad for doing it when they finally show up.

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sometimes when im in the shower and i hear the slightest bump i look behind the curtains to see if anyone is about to scare me

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i would air drum even if theres no music playing

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A stranger makes me mad. Spend all day thinking about badass things that I should have done/said.

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I lay in bed at night with my eyes closed but not asleep,and my mind will tell me that thier is someone standing by my bed,i will think and say to myself,im not looking because thats ridiculous. Then after a 30 seconds pause,have a quick peep.

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i have my own way of eating every chocolate bar i eat, layer by layer

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While peeing, I will sometimes flush the toilet mid-stream and see if I can finish before it flushes all the way.

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When you sit down to a great dinner with all your favorite foods and then the nanosecond your ass touches the chair you are instantly he most tired and uninterested in food than you have ever been before

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I can't get out of bed in the mornings unless the alarm clock reads 0 or 5.

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use the shower water running of my arms and hands to shoot off random hairs inside the shower

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When I'm in the shower and I hear a noise I automatically think someone broke into my house and killed my family and that they're coming for me and I will have to fight off the killer naked.

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Cover the built in webcam on my laptop when I'm using it with a folded piece of paper just in case

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When ever my boyfriend doesn't reply to a text for a few hours I always imagine a worse case scenario and end up crying hystaricaly.

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I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

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Wonder what I would have said to my dad if I knew he was going to die

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You take showers on school morning because you like to stand there under the hot water just thinking about life while your warm

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Going to the very last pages of "Things you think you only do" with the lowest ratings and realizing that they really are the only ones who do that stuff...

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Sing every word to Bohemian Rhapsody every time you hear it in the most dramatic way possible.

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I hold in my shit only because i am soo occupied with my current task.

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I like to have a picture of my crush on my computer screen, and will walk around a room while he 'looks at me'.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.