place all your achievements in your room to impress your friends

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make it a point of interest to know every word to a song that nobody likes. (i.e. call me maybe) >.>

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RE:" pee on the side of the toilet" you dont pee on the side of the toilet so it isn't loud. you pee on the side so it doesn't splash on you're legs as much.

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When I haven't looked in a mirror for a while, I worry that I look awful, and when I get to a mirror, I'm like "Oh yeah, that's what I look like".

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Have troubles sleeping when it's hot.

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Smelling food to see if its spicy.

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Talk out loud so my brother can hear me because no one ever wrote that they can read your minds. And i want him to know ineed him in my life still so I randomly say things out loud to him on accident. People always look at me with hidden shock wide eyed.

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Search up google on bing or yahoo because i feel that google is so much better

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I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

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Sittig on a table donating sperm to my friend gabe

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think that the NSA is always watching what you do online at any time you are even connected.

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If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

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when my parents are gone i shout random stuff

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Feeling sorry for inanimate objects

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Poking my self under the covers just to not falleth asleepeth (t -_-)zzzzzz

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I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

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When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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sometimes *sigh* sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

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Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

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When calling someone you hang up after 3 or 4 rings because you're tired of waiting rather than it being time to leave a message.

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I poke myself in the eye with a needle every Thursday.

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jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

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That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

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Ur mum

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.