Close all the windows on my computer when parents walk in.

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I pretend that my pillow is the love of my life and kiss it and cuddle it before bed.

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make south park refferences every day

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Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

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Set multiple alarms to wake me up in the morning so I dont just turn it off and fall back asleep

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I don't know why but I really wish I can ride a bike or drive a car through a shopping mall.

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Feeling guilty for something you haven't done.

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hate it when the bottom of you foot is itchy because it feels wrong to scratch it.

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Try to keep a balloon in the air with out touching the ground, using anything but my hands -Noel

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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Do math in ur head at night to help you fall asleep.

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Whenever I fall over I always seem to think coherently throughout the fall about what can I do to make this less painful

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Sometimes I just space out for a period of time and completely forget that I'm breathing. Then when I snap out of it, I kind of breathe deeply because I thought I forgot to breathe.

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When they say the name of the movie in the movie i get excited o.O

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While at the movies, grab and eat your popcorn with your tongue and pretend you are a lizard.

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when i m in a car i'll look at the letters on license plates and try to think of words that you can make-or almost make- with those letters

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When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

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interview yourself over some amazing accomplishment you achieved like becoming the youngest emmy winner and pretending you're really humble.

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dream about the most amazing guy/girl that you have a relationship with and hope it comes true

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That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

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I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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I refuse to take dump with the shower curtain closed. I know someone's behind it...

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When an ice cube fall on the floor I kick it under the fridge.

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Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.