After washing butt, turn my butt towards the shower and spread butt cheeks apart to wash the soap out of my crack.

Think about all of the germs that are on restroom doors and water taps.

after you've been in a fight i usually think up some epic move i could've done instead.

Do sex sensations feel exactly the same for the opposite sex.

run inside after taking out the trash because a monster might be hiding in the big trash can

Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

When I am in class or somewhere boring I start getting thoughts of weird senerios like a group of zombies swamping the place or being hit by an earthquake etc and being one of the surivors. But then i realise that the possibility of that happening is incredibly slim and get depressed. Bananas!

The volume level on my TV has to be either an even number or a multiple of five.

When walking in a pub or a mall or any place which has music playing, I walk along with the beats thinking that I will look super cool doing that!

become increasingly panicked when its dark and you cant find the door handle.

I chew around the center of carrots.

Freak out at sudden noises when home alone at night.

When someome asks you a question and you can't hear them so you say, "what?", then they say it again and you miss it so you just nod your head and say "yeah".

Tryng to run away from, or at least be faster than my shadow.

I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

Emmy Jackson Y U ALWAYS ANGRY WHEN SOMEONE SAY HI

Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

You take showers on school morning because you like to stand there under the hot water just thinking about life while your warm

When I masturbate I trade hands often in fear that my penis may become crooked.

Typing what you want to put in a message, then deleting it because you daren't send it

I sleep in the nude.

Mayada stupid

Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.