Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

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Sometime if I need to go I would go outside so I don't splash the seat

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I was not born in the country I am living in now

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I have a cat that drops on it's side when she sees me coming

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When receiving instructions from people one on one, whether it's a man or a woman, I wonder what they would do if I kissed them while they are talking.

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I ejaculate fire and glory

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For the long meaningless comments below: I choose to decide to thumb the comments down and see them gone forever! Moral: Thats right, I spend less time on the webs, but here I am.

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Put my finger over one pixel of my digital alarm clock, because I know that's the only one that will change in the next minute. Take it off. MAGIC.

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when my mum buys way too much of something I imagine were one of those 'doomsday preppers' families, with mounds of supplies in our basement.

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Open Fridge, look around for few seconds, say to self - 'What the f*** am I doing?'

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Clenching your teeth subconsciously, then wondering why your teeth hurt so much afterwards.

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place all your achievements in your room to impress your friends

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(I have made this mistake mostly when I'm at the movies) When the cashier gives me the ticket and says enjoy the movie because I am so used to people saying have a nice day I say you too!(FACE PALM)

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When I am about to thumb up a comment here that has not happened to me, I first stop myself thinking "but that has not happened to me" then I remember I thumb up comments just because I like them and proceed to do so most of the times

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look at bins as i walk past them

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Thinking you can do parkour even when you cant and the have a friend over and try to show off

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Laughing at a joke that you dont think is funny but everybody else does

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When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Think up a come back three days after it would have been useful.

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sitting in your room at night and making imagineary monters or random figures out of things in your room.

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If two cars towing boats were to crash into each other, Would that make it a boating accident?

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When I see someone I know walking toward me as I'm walking toward them from a long way away, I pretend I don't see them until we're right on top of each other, then, miraculously discovering them, I smile and say, "Hi".

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While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.