Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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Delete the whole password when I mess up only the one letter.

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I feel like I'm superman every time I run by the counter in the kitchen and the papers on it go flying off.

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When I'm hungry I look in the fridge, but there's nothing good to eat so I shut the door and walk away. Then I look in the fridge again 10 seconds later in the hope that new food has arrived Robbie

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Mix my coffee with the spoon upside down.

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I don't like to answer the phone because it is never for me.

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When I'm in the shower and I hear a noise I automatically think someone broke into my house and killed my family and that they're coming for me and I will have to fight off the killer naked.

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When you sit down to use the toilet, start, and then realize that the window is open and people can hear you.You then either search for something to mask the sound or proceed to relieve yourself by making as little noise as possible (ultimately failing)

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kick something under the fridge that you dont want to pick up

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When I get the chance, I always nick a chip from my mum's or dad's dinner.

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When I wanted to sit on chair or anything, I'll wipe them first, in case there is something sticked on them

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you wonder if things look the same through other peoples eyes

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I have seen one of my submissions listed under "Quotes from other sites"

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Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

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Go to the kitchen to eat, forget what I'm doing, go back to whatever I was doing, and realizing that I'm hungry.

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Realizing that when you look behind a shower curtain before using the bathroom and actually see a Serial killer, you have no plan...

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That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

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When i go into a public toilet and one of the cubical doors is slightly shut, I will be really quiet or slightly push the door to see if anyone is in there.

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Any time I hear someone speaking with an accent, I start mimicking that accident. –Ikka

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When Im bored in a house that has leafy/floral wallpaper I follow the stem with my finger all the way up to the top of the wall and then go back down again and think of a route that gets you all the way to the other side of the wall.

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When you need something from someone and you forget what it's called,So then you have to awkwardly explain it.

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Everytime I get in my car at night, I turn the light on and check behind the back seats to see if there's anyone waiting for me. Then lock the doors when all is safe.

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When writing out something in the air, you mess up so you "wipe" out the mistake and then move to another piece of air because it's "cleaner".

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When in a public toilet, I never leave the cubicle until everyone is either out of the room or in their own cubicle.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.