carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

thumb_up thumb_down -48

When someome asks you a question and you can't hear them so you say, "what?", then they say it again and you miss it so you just nod your head and say "yeah".

thumb_up thumb_down +2,889

I try to fill the surface of the toilet water with bubbles when I pee.

thumb_up thumb_down +261

Suppress a sneeze and then walk around unsatisfied.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

I can only brush my teeth at exactly 7:43 AM...Am I weird?

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Imagining how it would feel to switch bodies with your crush

thumb_up thumb_down -16

You like to think about how your favorite characters would react if you told them that they were fictional.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

sniff my armpit when somebody says someone stinks and shouts NOT ME lol

thumb_up thumb_down -13

whenever I play I spy I always use very specific things I spy for example if I would say something starting with D and it would be for dust

thumb_up thumb_down -85

I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

thumb_up thumb_down -73

I am such a coward. When I'm going to have an argument or complain to someone, I think of the beat ever retort, but when it comes down to it I say "why are you so mean" or " why don't you just leave me alone for once" or something like that. ( Yes I get picked on, cos I'm the smartest in our class)

thumb_up thumb_down -70

Constantly refresh your email page even though you know nothing will appear.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

I keep on trying to imagine how long eternity is for when I go to Heaven. It never ends...

thumb_up thumb_down -46

i don't have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Still can't walk on cracks. If I step on the crack with one foot, the other has to as well.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

When I'm about to get in bed, I turn my light off and then run and jump into bed so that nothing gets me.

thumb_up thumb_down +904

Sometimes I think that I'm a character in The Sims 3 and someone is controlling everything I do.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

I hate it whenever i hear Manny Paquiao saying "you know" in every interviews he make. Am i the only one who notice it?

thumb_up thumb_down -28

When A situation Doesn't go how I wanted it to go, It annoys me so much I sometimes shit in my hands and clap.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

I'm so used to pooping with my phone that everytime I forget it I take less than 5 minutes, versus the usual 26.

thumb_up thumb_down -109

After learning a new word, I hear it used and written EVERYWHERE for the next week.

thumb_up thumb_down +2,148

When leaving your basement, become increasingly conscious of how you are scared of something getting you. SPRINT UP STAIRS.

thumb_up thumb_down +2,501

Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.