the power to regenerate your appendix

I always ask myself "Why am I me?". But have never come up with a good answer.

eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

Skip the first 3 minutes of "Free Bird" because it's too slow.

Use the toilet shower to wipe your a**, but denies the fact until death for your friends.

When you had a crush on a girl in elementary school, then don't see her in middle school and think of how much of a bitch she was. Then You start crushing on her again in high school.

Point your finger to the sky when your favorite song comes on in the club or the radio

Drum on the chair between your legs and wonder if people think that you're playing with yourself.

Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

Going to sleep during class thinking that you've written down all your notes, until you wake up and realize you did nothing.

Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

Get annoyed when I click on the "popular" button and it's always the same things.

sometimes *sigh* sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

Only use the left earphone.

I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.