When theres a car just like yours right next to your car in the parking lot you almoat always gravitate to that car instead. It's the worst when there people in the car and you keep trying to open it.

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I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

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Sitting on a toilet in a public bathroom and staying silent until everyone leaves, so you do not feel the embarrassment

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You think about all the stupid things you did in elementary school and avoid anyone who went to your elementary school in high school.

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When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

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try to only take one step on each sidewalk square.

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I have an imaginary therapist. I talk to him in my head and he actually gives me really good answers.

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Whenever i do something bad to someone I can't stop smiling even though i never wanted to smile in the first place and i feel like people think I'm a terrible person

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I DO wish I had the ability of the guy in the comment below me. Moral: Yeah I have to type moral down here, because its awesome and because whatever its awesome!

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My login password is INCORRECT so if I forget it my computer will say "your password is incorrect"

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when you've done everything you wanted to do on the internet and stop and just stare at the screen.

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Sometimes I toot.

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You question gods existence and evolution but then quickly tell herself hes real so you don't get struck with a lighting bolt

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cussing someone out on a video game only to realize that your mic is off

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Pull your headphones away from your ear when you're listening to music to see if it's too loud.

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Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

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fart then blame it on the guy next to me realizing theres no one near me and everyone looks at me....awkward

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I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

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I always have to watch the credits of a movie even, though everyone else has left the theatre and there are people cleaning up the seats, which makes me think, they think i'm crazy.

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Guessing on those annoying Captcha things and then getting unnecessarily angry when it tells you you're wrong.

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Rub a pen tip between my fingers.

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I'm not bad looking and I don't fall into the beautiful category either but I really feel good about the way I look

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When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.