Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

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jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

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While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

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Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

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When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

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getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

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Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

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I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

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poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

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Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

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When listening to a song with headphones or on the radio i sing the harmonies or make them while they sing the lead

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Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

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I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

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All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

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Whenever Terminator 2 is on tv, I become enthralled and can't stop watching even though I've seen it a million times.

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You see someone do something cool and imagine doing it in front of all your friends

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Walk down the street, listening to a song, singing it softly, then thinking 'I might wanna stop doing that before I look awkward', but the wires get crossed and you start singing LOUDER and so on.

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Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

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Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.