Having more dificulty thinking in your native language than your 2nd or 3rd one. Or 4th one. Or... the rest. I highly doubt that one's common.

trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

I rehearse arguments in my head.

after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

I imagine myself having a superpower that could make people see from my point of view. I would just have to lay a hand on them, and suddenly they would understand who I really am.

I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

When I post a picture on a Horsehead Huffer site that I made on Microsoft Paint, and it ends up being one of those that never load, I go back on Paint and save it again. Then I repost it, and it works.

read on youtube comments with too unlikes

i see things on this site and am secretly glad im not weird like everyone else

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

I can't piss with my shoes on.

I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

IM 13 years old when i touch something i have a feeling and wont let me do anything until i touch it again or 4 times or sometimes even 16 times i cant live like this its weird!!!!

Laying in bed at a friends place with your eyes closed imaging where you would end up if you got up and went to the toilet as if it was your own house.

Pretending you're a badass character from an anime or movie when listening to rock music (or something similar)

When someone enters the room while i'm playing a game, start playing the best song of the game soundtrack so they notice it and think the game has a cool soundtrack.

I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

I thought I was disgusting until I read the top voted things here. Floral: Actually pretty neat.

Never step on manholes, because I'm afraid to fall in.

I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.