the power to regenerate your appendix

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I always ask myself "Why am I me?". But have never come up with a good answer.

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eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

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I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

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Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

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Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

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I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

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I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

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Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

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Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

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Skip the first 3 minutes of "Free Bird" because it's too slow.

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Use the toilet shower to wipe your a**, but denies the fact until death for your friends.

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When you had a crush on a girl in elementary school, then don't see her in middle school and think of how much of a bitch she was. Then You start crushing on her again in high school.

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Point your finger to the sky when your favorite song comes on in the club or the radio

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Drum on the chair between your legs and wonder if people think that you're playing with yourself.

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Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

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Going to sleep during class thinking that you've written down all your notes, until you wake up and realize you did nothing.

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Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

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Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

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Get annoyed when I click on the "popular" button and it's always the same things.

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sometimes *sigh* sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

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carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

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Only use the left earphone.

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I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.