check to see if post has any likes right after posting it. then have second thoughts about it.

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masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

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While at the movies, grab and eat your popcorn with your tongue and pretend you are a lizard.

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Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

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Feel bad about hurting someone a long time ago, when I was a child, and wish I could speak to that person and say "I'm sorry." Cringe whenever the thought of the incident rises.

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

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Constantly refresh your email page even though you know nothing will appear.

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Think that the person driving keeps staring at me when ever they look in the mirror and I'm sat in the back.

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get happy as sh*t when you remember your homework is do after your lunch period so you can do it then, but never end up doing it.

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When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

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Thinking that out there, on this earth in a lost city, there is an awesome clone of you.

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When I am bored and home alone, I sometimes try to recreate the most annoying sound in the world from Dumb and Dumber. (P.S. Sorry if this was already submitted, I didn't see it.)

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When sitting or laying down, tell yourself to get up in your head but see how long your body can resist your commands, and end up yelling at yourself to move in your head while still sitting/laying down.

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I know how to Gleek on command. (Don't know what it is just look it up.)

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Seeing an acquaintance who you would feel awkward talking to in a public place, knowing they see you as well, and pretending not to see them, while hoping they pretend not to see you as well.

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Tip my couch over to dig for something I have lost and then end up finding a bunch of random crap.

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brush the dandruff from my eyebrows

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Laugh when something happens to someone, but when the exact same happens to you, you say "Its not funny"

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While trying to sleep I obsess over the little red LED on the TV set which I can't even see unless I lift my head from the pillow.

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play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

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when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

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When I am making submissions to this site I sometimes accidentally put them in the comment section

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When I have my headphones in, and I'm miming the words to a song in the bathroom pretending that I'm playing a gig. I put the tap on to make sure no one hears me dancing.

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Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.