I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

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When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

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I can't step on the cracks of sidewalks.

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Say something smart in class, then worry your friends will rip ony uo for it half way through saying it, so end it by saying "or something like that."

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Sometimes I have something I want to do and then walk into the room to do it in and forget exactly what I was trying to do, it usually involves the kitchen so I just look in the refrigerator then leave and then remember what it is I wanted to do.

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Anytime I walk in anyplace with cracks in the ground (tiled floors, cement squares, etc.) I do my best to avoid stepping on cracks in fear of something happening if I do.

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When watching TV shows, I always think about what I would have done differently if I was the character in that particular situation.

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When it's as quiet as possible in the classroom in the middle of the period and everyone is silently doing their work.... I suddenly think of something REALLY funny and spend the next half hour awkwardly grinning trying my hardest not to burst out uncontrollably.

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I love touching, squeezing and occasionally biting my dog's (read: any dog's) muzzle. I love the texture and the gummy-ness. I also love how pissed he gets when I do it and sneezes after.

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When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

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When sitting or laying down, tell yourself to get up in your head but see how long your body can resist your commands, and end up yelling at yourself to move in your head while still sitting/laying down.

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i feel all weird and sad when i thing about my old belongings.

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Complimenting a girl awkwardly,and then smiling stupidly later and thinking of alternate versions of the conversation that happened!!

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I have an imaginary therapist. I talk to him in my head and he actually gives me really good answers.

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Sometimes after a long, hard day or when something bad happens I just sit down and cry in the shower.

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A lot of times I believe things I see or things that happen are "signs" of something.

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watch lesbian porn instead of normal because you hate have other men in the picture

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TV turned on just so... Makes you not feeling alone or because some other unknown (or) irrational reason.And of course, feeling guilty cause you spending energy and money but still... Most of the time you just don't care.

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I think any disasterous accidents will not happen to me.

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Try stick to something but fail in the end

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cussing someone out on a video game only to realize that your mic is off

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when you've done everything you wanted to do on the internet and stop and just stare at the screen.

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Look into your neighbor's house and halucinate someone watching back

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my solve media says spare is big but it was space is big

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.