- Things You Think Only You Do

fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

Find myself thinking a completely random meaningless sentence as I'm falling asleep with no idea how I got to that thought.

when your doing something or going somewhere you think didn't I already do this, like your back in time.

When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

When A situation Doesn't go how I wanted it to go, It annoys me so much I sometimes shit in my hands and clap.

I Think people can read my mind....."if you can read my mind nod your head or don't if you don't want me to know that you can" It doesn't work either way but yeah thats just me lol

i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

If my SOLVE media is too long I refresh it to give me a shorter one

When I walking the same direction as other people, I secretly race them and do the sports commentry in my head

see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

feel like im being watched turn my head sideways and see someone suddenly look away.

Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

Looking at something suggestive on your computer and worrying that someone else in your family can see what you're doing on their computer.

I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

forget to breathe while listening to ear buds too loudly.

Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

Making gang signs out the window when your parents let you ride in the front seat

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.