Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

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I make sims of everyone I know and make them have kids together.

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Whenever I watch TV, the volume has to be on multiples of 5. Even if the perfect volume is in between.

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Point your finger to the sky when your favorite song comes on in the club or the radio

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I pretend that my pillow is the love of my life and kiss it and cuddle it before bed.

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When A situation Doesn't go how I wanted it to go, It annoys me so much I sometimes shit in my hands and clap.

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in a grocery store, only walking on the colored single tiles the entire time your in there pretending there small cliffs without touching the white one otherwise you fall and fail.

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If I'm walking with or behind someone I always match their footsteps

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Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

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I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

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turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

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When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

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I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

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I think Frozen is an overrated film

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I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

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Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually in a coma and that everything is just a dream and my parents are standing over me watching me and wishing their daughter was awake

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Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

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When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

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Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.