Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

Whenever I finish reading a book, I feel a great sense of achievement.

Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

Pretend you and your classmates are in a Hunger Games scenario.

You feel like someone can read your mind so you try not to think about stupid stuff.

Play my music so low in public that I can hardly hear it in my headphones for fear of others being able to hear what I'm listening to.

Only use the left earphone.

Take pieces of loose hair and keep it in a plastic bag in my wallet so if I ever get killed and my ID stolen, my body can still be identified.

Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

Discovering your friend is an indian (Nicole)

Sitting down in the shower

HEY! YOU! Yeah you! I can speak you only, NO! Nobody else here! Yeah you only you, by the way you are a dirty piece of s**t you mothe* F**ker! YEAH ITS YOU! I HATE YOU! EVERYBODY HATES YOU YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *end of special message just for you*

after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

Believing in the kindness of strangers

Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

read on youtube comments with too unlikes

I prefer to go to the bathroom with the door open.

Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

Wondering what would happen if you did something super random or inappropriate in a group setting. :)

I imagine myself having a superpower that could make people see from my point of view. I would just have to lay a hand on them, and suddenly they would understand who I really am.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.