I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

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Walking into a room to do something, and then forgetting what you were gonna do.

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Run faster down hotel corridors.

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masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

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Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.

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Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

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Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

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That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

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Hate when people ask "do you have a bathroom?" It's like "no we crap in the yard!"

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Leave the fan on at night just in case you feel to warm.

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Thinking that out there, on this earth in a lost city, there is an awesome clone of you.

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Think that the person driving keeps staring at me when ever they look in the mirror and I'm sat in the back.

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When I am in a bind and I know I need help I just say " I gott this" and things work out

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Sometimes I have something I want to do and then walk into the room to do it in and forget exactly what I was trying to do, it usually involves the kitchen so I just look in the refrigerator then leave and then remember what it is I wanted to do.

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When you have a stuffy nose, and you put tissue in one nostril so you can breathe.

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Seeing an acquaintance who you would feel awkward talking to in a public place, knowing they see you as well, and pretending not to see them, while hoping they pretend not to see you as well.

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i absolutely hate the number nine, and when i told my brother this i was like "sometimes i wish i could delete the number 9" and hes like "but then youd have 9 numbers" and i was like..... "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

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I sometime's wonder if other people can see and feel everything I can but are just in my body too judge me.

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When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

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Pull your headphones away from your ear when you're listening to music to see if it's too loud.

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I am a masculine guy but in private I listen to very sensitive songs. ie: careless wispers

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When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <<

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.