while you put your t-shirt on, you get frightened that someone's watching you behind your shirt so you try to put it on as soon as possible.

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in a grocery store, only walking on the colored single tiles the entire time your in there pretending there small cliffs without touching the white one otherwise you fall and fail.

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Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

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I think Frozen is an overrated film

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Lay down in bed and close my eyes and pretend that the bed is slowly levitating towards the ceiling. When I open my eyes, the bed is back on the ground.

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Whilst passing a mega dump or room clearer as my brother calls them I come up with songs...sometimes in spanish

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Know almost every line from spongbob episodes.

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I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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I always get paranoid when I go to take a shit because I leave the computer on and somebody comes in the room where the computer is.

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Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

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I hate when my mom hangs my underwear on the clothesline outside.

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

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I sleep in my underpants every single night

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I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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Never eat curry before school otherwise you will have a massive poo

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I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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Glance at your friend beside you, smile to yourself, and think, "I could murder them."

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Make sudden movements in the mirror to try and catch out my reflection.

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Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

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When playing a game you refer to the kid you don't know as "kid" - ar2

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When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.