Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

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Use the letters on my phone to make words to help me remember important numbers

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I rehearse arguments in my head.

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Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

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Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

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sometimes *sigh* sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

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everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

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send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

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When you are thinking, and you think about what you are thinking. You are automatically purposely thinking until you stop thinking about it. I am thinking about thinking about how I think right now. I think...

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When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

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Turn volume down on iPod or tv, then turn up one bar to make it seem like it's still loud.

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Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

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Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

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I prefer to go to the bathroom with the door open.

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try to give your friends spirit animals

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Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

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Thinking your life is a movie...

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When I am bored I look at things and wonder about the people who made them, and at what time they were made, etc. Like whether my Bic pen was made in the morning or the night. Savy.

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I blow my nose in my towel after i dry off. Then use the same towel the next day. lol

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I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

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that time where you open the fridge door and stare at it for like 10 min then close it and walk away?

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Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

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I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.