Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

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Try to figure out if some of the posts were written by the same person.

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When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

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I don't read the terms of service.

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When I find a new song I like, I listen to it over and over and over; >>Until I run that sh*t into the ground.

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the power to regenerate your appendix

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When I'm home alone at night I check around the corners to make sure there isn't anyone there

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I make sims of everyone I know and make them have kids together.

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When I'm watching a video on YouTube, I repeatedly click on the video slider section below the video because I feel uncomfortable not doing it, ever since I realized that you can't move to different parts of the video with your keyboard without clicking there first.

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Blow into the shower head when I'm taking a shower to make what sounds like jet noises

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I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

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jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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Going to sleep during class thinking that you've written down all your notes, until you wake up and realize you did nothing.

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Making gang signs out the window when your parents let you ride in the front seat

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No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

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When I'm watching a movie I have already seen I hope for a different ending but soon realize it won't happen

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When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

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Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

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Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

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I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

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Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

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Only use the left earphone.

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When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.