I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

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I **** with no hands.

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Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

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You see someone do something cool and imagine doing it in front of all your friends

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click your pen off of your desk and make it hop in the air

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Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

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You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

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When dunking oreos I like to hold it under the milk and watch the bubbles til they stop

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see if I can hold my breath when walking down a long hallway

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Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

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as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

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If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

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.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

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Being able to think about great ideas for the world, but not being able to get a math problem done.

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looking at the last page of thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com to see how weird some people are...

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You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.

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When I am in a bind and I know I need help I just say " I gott this" and things work out

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When I am bored and home alone, I sometimes try to recreate the most annoying sound in the world from Dumb and Dumber. (P.S. Sorry if this was already submitted, I didn't see it.)

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Have a big twitch, freak out when you are dosing off in class but suddenly wake up.

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When you have a stuffy nose, and you put tissue in one nostril so you can breathe.

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Tryng to run away from, or at least be faster than my shadow.

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When you do something really cool but no one is there to see it and it's pointless to try and tell them about it because they don't believe you

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I find it easiest to read or study while sitting on the toilet.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.