- Things You Think Only You Do

i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

Point your finger to the sky when your favorite song comes on in the club or the radio

Bored. Open refrigerator. Nothing to eat. Open it again five minutes later.

Making gang signs out the window when your parents let you ride in the front seat

Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

only read the short jokes on this website

has a plastic bag full of plastic bags in your house

try to rip the top off an Oreo without messing up the cream and then if the cream comes out on both parts not wanting to eat the Oreo because its wrong.

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

Turn the door knob while closing the door ...so it doesn't make a loud noise.

Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

Whenever I finish reading a book, I feel a great sense of achievement.

carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

Being fat

All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

Discovering your friend is an indian (Nicole)

When passed by a very attractive girl in the street, turn around and look after her and/or follow her to the next street corner, in order to grasp more of her beauty.

I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

Walk down the street, listening to a song, singing it softly, then thinking 'I might wanna stop doing that before I look awkward', but the wires get crossed and you start singing LOUDER and so on.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.