Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

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Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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Only use the left earphone.

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When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

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Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

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Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

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I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

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Get soo scared in the shower when your home alone that you are scared to open the curtain just incase somebody is out tthere

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trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

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start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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Write a word then wonder if it's spelt with an i or and e so just put them both in but do it in such a way that the person reading it won't know whether you didn't know the spelling or misspelled it then realized your mistake and tried to fix it.

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Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

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Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

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Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

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What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

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Tap my fingers really rapidly when I'm annoyed, stressed out, fed up or angry.

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I **** with no hands.

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IM 13 years old when i touch something i have a feeling and wont let me do anything until i touch it again or 4 times or sometimes even 16 times i cant live like this its weird!!!!

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

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I was the real Stig...

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I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

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I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.