when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

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I cover the mirror on my bedroom door with a sheet at night, because I think the shadows casted in the mirror are gonna get me.

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Everytime my sibling starts a sentance with "I remember when","I have an idea"etc.,I get up and walk out.

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

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I keep on trying to imagine how long eternity is for when I go to Heaven. It never ends...

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

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use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

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Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

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Use the letters on my phone to make words to help me remember important numbers

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Sitting down in the shower

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I HATE minecraft gift codes and the morons who post about them. I wish those morons would get off my planet.

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Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

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When I post a picture on a Horsehead Huffer site that I made on Microsoft Paint, and it ends up being one of those that never load, I go back on Paint and save it again. Then I repost it, and it works.

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start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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when i listen to music in my earphones, i always pretend its me performing the song to an audience.

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Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

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If i've been thinking about a particular person a lot, afterwards if people are telling a story or describing a scenario, I always picture the person I was thinking of before as the person as the main character in their story/scenario.

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

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The older I get the more honest I get

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If I get lost while driving, the first thing I do is turn down the radio.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.