- Things You Think Only You Do

I talk to inanimate objects daily.

I refuse to take dump with the shower curtain closed. I know someone's behind it...

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

After watching a really good film that has a narrator, everything I do is narrated by that person in my head.

Does anyone else's mouse hand get colder then their other hand when they're on the computer?

fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

At any time of day, when i'm not busy, someone you know pops into your head and you start talking to them telepathically, but not for long, then you realise that youre just plain crazy? anyone?

(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually in a coma and that everything is just a dream and my parents are standing over me watching me and wishing their daughter was awake

I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

Pass wind after i ate lasagna.

Mouth words to people wearing headphones to try and get them to take them off.

Find that the kettle has recently been used and still contains hot water so decide to have a cup of tea just so that boiling that water wasn't a waste. Think that it might have cooled down by now. Reboil the water.

think that you are wasting way too much time on this website and that you could be exercising right now or be doing a million more productive things than righting about doing more productive things on things you think only you do.

Before going to bed look around the dark room and when you see something suspicious you have a look to see its not a person

If people knew what I am really thinking about while they are talking to me... YIKES!

Whenever I fart, I always smell it. But when other people fart, I don't want to smell it.

think up the funniest jokes right before i go to sleep and cant think of them the next day

standing at the mall with your group talking, you all decide to start walking to a store, start to follow but half the group stays behind for a few seconds then they start walking, walk a slower pace only to find out that you're in the middle of your split groups e.g. 3 in front 4 behind...dont know which one to merge to......wait for your group to collaborate back together.

whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'whores-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

I look at this site and wonder if the thumbs up are all from people who actually do the same thing, or just people who like that or think it's a funny thing to do.

Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

When a tooth is very loose,i shake it with my tongue because that pain is relaxing.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.