Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

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Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

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Walk around downtown and spot good camping spots or sniping spots, cause life is a FPS.

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Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

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Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

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LOG OFF OF ICHAT BECAUSE THE PERSON U WERE JUST TALKING TO WENT OFFLINE.

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Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

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when im in the toilet and invent something in my mind and dont have a pen and paper to wright my invention and when im done i forget about it...

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No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

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getting really nervous about random white vans that drive by you.

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When you are thinking, and you think about what you are thinking. You are automatically purposely thinking until you stop thinking about it. I am thinking about thinking about how I think right now. I think...

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I have memorized my drivers license registration number

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Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

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I hate when my mom hangs my underwear on the clothesline outside.

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I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

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What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

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Kill Jb without getting aressted.

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when you are at home doing something then all of a sudden you imagine how you would take down a killer if he came into your home right now. just me?

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I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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try to give your friends spirit animals

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Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.