get annoyed when the pop-up lid on the dish soap bottle is left up

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We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

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How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

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My login password is INCORRECT so if I forget it my computer will say "your password is incorrect"

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When I see a post on this site with a single downvote I start to feel guilty and give the person an upvote because I feel sorry for them.

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when i pass a grave yard, i am compelled to hold my breath

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Sometimes when you're at work and you're REALLY horny, you look around at the women you work with and think who you really would like to bone, then on another particular day when you aren't horny, you see the same women and think to yourself " I must have REALLY been horny. What was I thinking?" lol (not trying to be gross, but honestly, who doesn't get horny while at work sometimes)

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When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

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Right before I go to the dentist I brush my teeth.

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When at someone else's house, trying to use the bathroom, keep a very close eye on the door just to make sure nobody's gonna walk in on you...

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Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

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Smelling food to see if its spicy.

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when u get something right and do a victory dance and the person to u is just like "da hell?"

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While driving out in the country area, I am secretly looking for Squatch

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When I drink out of a disposable coffee cup with a lid, the opening on the lid has be on the exact opposite side from the seam where the cup is glued to form the cylinder.

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When calling someone you hang up after 3 or 4 rings because you're tired of waiting rather than it being time to leave a message.

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When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

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Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

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When I have my headphones in, and I'm miming the words to a song in the bathroom pretending that I'm playing a gig. I put the tap on to make sure no one hears me dancing.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Swirling your hair through your hair while something is loading.

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When I'm laying in bed and I feel my heartbeat, I turn around so I can't feel it because it makes me feel sick.

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When I'm walking and I step on a crack with my left food, the next time I step on a crack it has to be my right foot and vise versa. I can't step on a crack twice in a row with the same foot. But I don't have to step on every crack.

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.