as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

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I have a phobia of incest

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Make up a song to yourself.

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If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

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Think that the person driving keeps staring at me when ever they look in the mirror and I'm sat in the back.

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Leave the fan on at night just in case you feel to warm.

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Do a little half laugh, then when someone looks at you, you realise that it wasn't even funny so you pretend to be clearing your throat.

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When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

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Pull your headphones away from your ear when you're listening to music to see if it's too loud.

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when you've done everything you wanted to do on the internet and stop and just stare at the screen.

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play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

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I don't care about who a celebrity dates or marries. Why should I?

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Playing hide-and-seek and finding the best spot ever, only to realize you have to pee

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I am a masculine guy but in private I listen to very sensitive songs. ie: careless wispers

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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I don't know about anyone else but I really felt bad when the Lich killed Prismo in Adventure Time

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Mares really turn me on, so I download "bad stuff" Ironically though, I worked at a farm last summer and realized there is nothing more disgusting than reality. Still mares turn me on... If on video.

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Try to think of something nice then thinks of then scariest things.

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when i watch a movie, and a character in it gos underwater, i hold my breath with that person until that person gets above water, then i let go, either that, after the character comes up from the water, i still hold my breath until i cant take it anymore.

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When I look at a clear blue sky, I'm convinced that I see little tiny floaty things, and think that I'm seeing air molecules.

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Sometimes I turn on my bedroom fan at night just so i can use heavier blankets.

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I stick used soap to a new soap so I don't waste it.

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Right before I go to the dentist I brush my teeth.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.