Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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make south park refferences every day

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i see things on this site and am secretly glad im not weird like everyone else

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I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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Tap my fingers really rapidly when I'm annoyed, stressed out, fed up or angry.

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stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

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Walk down the street, listening to a song, singing it softly, then thinking 'I might wanna stop doing that before I look awkward', but the wires get crossed and you start singing LOUDER and so on.

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Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

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You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

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When dunking oreos I like to hold it under the milk and watch the bubbles til they stop

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see if I can hold my breath when walking down a long hallway

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as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

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Leave the fan on at night just in case you feel to warm.

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Watch a familiar movie, and then freak out when you see a suspensful part, only to later realize that there was no point in getting worked up since you already know what happens.

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get happy as sh*t when you remember your homework is do after your lunch period so you can do it then, but never end up doing it.

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Sometimes I get annoyed when I realize none of my friends ever eat vegetables or drink anything but sugary soda`s and are somehow as healthy, sometimes even healthier than me.

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Tryng to run away from, or at least be faster than my shadow.

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I sometime's wonder if other people can see and feel everything I can but are just in my body too judge me.

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I would try to make my pencil shavings as long as possible.

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Complimenting a girl awkwardly,and then smiling stupidly later and thinking of alternate versions of the conversation that happened!!

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right click refresh on desktop. Repeat

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When I am making submissions to this site I sometimes accidentally put them in the comment section

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.