I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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I like to watch lava lamps heat up

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Make up a song to yourself.

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Run faster down hotel corridors.

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Sing every word to Bohemian Rhapsody every time you hear it in the most dramatic way possible.

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When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

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When posting these, I'm rarely able to read the words/letters in the box that prove you're human and not some computer virus. Now I'm starting to think I'm not a human......

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Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

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check to see if post has any likes right after posting it. then have second thoughts about it.

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accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

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make it a point of interest to know every word to a song that nobody likes. (i.e. call me maybe) >.>

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

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Pretend I'm a back-up dancer or singing a duet with the singer of the song I'm listening to.

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looking at the last page of thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com to see how weird some people are...

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Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

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While in the shower, after ive used soap and stuff i turn the water to cold and i pretend im on fear factor and close my eyes so i cannot see what i am trying to get while crawling through freezing cold water

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when i piss in the toilet, i flush half way through and race the toilet to the finish.

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That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

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When the T.V switches to commercial sometimes I forget what I was watching Noel

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Sometimes I have something I want to do and then walk into the room to do it in and forget exactly what I was trying to do, it usually involves the kitchen so I just look in the refrigerator then leave and then remember what it is I wanted to do.

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If I'm at work and have to poop, when I get in the stall I look under the opening at the bottom for any other feet in the other stalls to make sure I am alone. I always think what if when I do that someone else does it at the same time.

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Half of these posts are all but "things you think only you do". So is mine

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Have to have a certain light in the bathroom to poop. Also, nobody can be anywhere near me.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.