I have autofocus in my eyes.

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Know almost every line from spongbob episodes.

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When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

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Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

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I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

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I Never read the Terms of Service but click the box anyway .

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Everytime aplane is flying low you think it's going to crash right in front of your eyes

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I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

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Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

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I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

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When someone enters the room while i'm playing a game, start playing the best song of the game soundtrack so they notice it and think the game has a cool soundtrack.

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I gotta get down of Friday

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Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

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laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

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see if I can hold my breath when walking down a long hallway

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Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

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Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

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I doodle on everything I get that can be doodled on, even my exams :)

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

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feel like your calculator is judging/making fun of you for looking up simple equations

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make it a point of interest to know every word to a song that nobody likes. (i.e. call me maybe) >.>

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right after I turn the shower off I jump up and down to get rid of the extra water all over me...

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That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

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When the T.V switches to commercial sometimes I forget what I was watching Noel

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.