Stop at the beginning of an escalator, and let the stairs drag you forward by just your toes.

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Add numbers on license plates of cars around me while waiting at a light.

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I don't read the terms of service.

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I pretend that my pillow is the love of my life and kiss it and cuddle it before bed.

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Smoking in the shower.

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You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

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Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

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Paranoid someone is reading your mind, so you think something weird to see if they look at you

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jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

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walking up steps in the dark and you think you've gotten to the top but there's actually one more step and you panic because you think your going to fall

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When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

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I lift my butt when I'm farting

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Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

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getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

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use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

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when you pick up something you think is going to be heavy and its like you suddenly have super strength

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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Think what would I be doing if I was someone else

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Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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i masturbate with my feet

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Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

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Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

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When listening to a song with headphones or on the radio i sing the harmonies or make them while they sing the lead

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.