Criticize a porn novel for its poor use of the English language

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sometimes when im in the shower and i hear the slightest bump i look behind the curtains to see if anyone is about to scare me

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I always have to remake my bed right before going to sleep in it

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Be a loner at school

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When I see a post on this site with a single downvote I start to feel guilty and give the person an upvote because I feel sorry for them.

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When I'm laying in bed in the dark and I close my eyes for a while then when I open them again I quickly scan for a light source just to make sure I can still see.

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I still put my thumb in my mouth, BUT only because I like the feel of putting my eye lashes under my fingernails and my thumb inconveniantly fits in my mouth. Now I know I'm the only person in the world who does this. I'm trying to drop the habit. But it feels so GOOD!

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I cover the mirror on my bedroom door with a sheet at night, because I think the shadows casted in the mirror are gonna get me.

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I stick used soap to a new soap so I don't waste it.

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I wonder if elections are rigged?

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There's this reassuring voice in my head. She's almost like a mother, telling me that it'll be alright and that I have things to do.

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When I wake up after having a good dream I try to remember it but I don't

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When I dont feel like sweeping I sweep the stuff under the fridge or something

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Constantly looking up at a Facebook tab while on another tab to see if you have any notifications or messages.

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When I look at a clear blue sky, I'm convinced that I see little tiny floaty things, and think that I'm seeing air molecules.

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Picking your dogs booger for him/her

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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Sometimes I find myself staring at the television only to realize its off.

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I thought the 2013 film Frozen could have gone longer

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I probably am the only one who does this but I climb on my cat's cat tree to see what it's like to be a cat o.o

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When you're out for a run, you pretend that someone is chasing after you so you run harder.

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Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

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When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

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I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.