i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

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Link gross things with porn i.e: Think of really gross things (or friends or family) when fapping to really hot stuff ( the porn becomes ruined)

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eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

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try to rip the top off an Oreo without messing up the cream and then if the cream comes out on both parts not wanting to eat the Oreo because its wrong.

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Use the toilet shower to wipe your a**, but denies the fact until death for your friends.

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I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

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have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

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I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said

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I have won so many competitions online for things like being the 99, 999th visitor on the site

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use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

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Leftovers are better than the actual meal ;)

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Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

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Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

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Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

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Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

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Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

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When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

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I have memorized my drivers license registration number

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Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

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Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

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I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

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I like to turn the lights off in the bathroom, actually block every little bit of light I possibly can, then take a nice warm shower, curl up on the floor, block my ears and enjoy the warm water and sensory deprivation.

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Imagin what would happen if there was a zombie invasion just at your house.

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When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.