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Feeling sorry for inanimate objects

Help my dogs eat their dinner....I think the whole time, "If they only had thumbs".....

Can't stop tears from comeing to your eyes when singing

Imagining how it would feel to switch bodies with your crush

Sometimes, I wonder why god or the big bang ever existed in the first place and why there is a universe in the first place ... And it makes my brain hurt!

When peeing at a urinal, move my stream back and forth the coat as much of the wall as I can.

Spend a ton of time on the way you look and the clothes you choose, then going out in public and imagining you're a celeb.

Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

Toss something across the room toward the place it belongs, get excited when it lands upright/ perfectly in place, then immediately regret you weren't recording it.

sometimes when im in the shower and i hear the slightest bump i look behind the curtains to see if anyone is about to scare me

Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

Think long and hard about something but then realise you don't care

When I'm laying in bed in the dark and I close my eyes for a while then when I open them again I quickly scan for a light source just to make sure I can still see.

I stick used soap to a new soap so I don't waste it.

Sometimes I turn on my bedroom fan at night just so i can use heavier blankets.

When I look at a clear blue sky, I'm convinced that I see little tiny floaty things, and think that I'm seeing air molecules.

I always have to watch the credits of a movie even, though everyone else has left the theatre and there are people cleaning up the seats, which makes me think, they think i'm crazy.

Tough but loving hands!! Mmm them calluses tho!! ^_^

Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

I used to peep when my relatives are watching porn, back when i was a kid. After that, i feel like i wanna pee.

shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

Sometimes when I look at a clock the seconds hand ticks backwards

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.