I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

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Stand on the first floor and look up through the 2nd story railing just to look up women's skirts.

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Bored. Open refrigerator. Nothing to eat. Open it again five minutes later.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

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I sometimes chew on the inside of my cheek

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(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

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Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

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feel like im being watched turn my head sideways and see someone suddenly look away.

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when passing someone in a car beside you, you try to wonder where they are going just by looking at them, their clothes or their expressions

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Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

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You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

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I strum my fingers on my other hand between the fingers on the other hand which is a fist to make a popping sound (Try it, it's really fun)

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Sleeping with one leg under the blanket and one out.

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

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Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

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Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

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trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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Somethings thinking: O God, I love this world.

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When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

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Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

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getting really nervous about random white vans that drive by you.

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start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.