When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

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Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

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Whenever there is a volume button on something i have to make sure its on a number 5 ie: 0,5,10,15

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I prefer to go to the bathroom with the door open.

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Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

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After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

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Be talking to someone about something random, then a few days later or so... something very relevant to that happens, then you think to yourself "I'm sure I can tell the future"... I'm very confident that, that is just me...

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Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

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I sleep in my underpants every single night

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When you say bye to someone and keep walking in the same direction, and then its really awkward...

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feel like your calculator is judging/making fun of you for looking up simple equations

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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Do somthing only you do

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Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

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I pee in the shower. :3

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When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

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Sometimes I imagine that I am in a coma and all of the things of this world are not real. Then when I wake up from the coma I will be the best inventor of all time.

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Hate people who don't dress like you because they're not fashionable. Hate people who do dress like you because they threaten your individuality.

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I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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While trying to sleep I obsess over the little red LED on the TV set which I can't even see unless I lift my head from the pillow.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.