wipe all the water off my body (predrying myself) before i get out of the shower, and dry myself with the towel

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I wonder if elections are rigged?

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get some of the lyrics to a song wrong. you know theyre wrong, but continue to sing the wrong words anyway, because the real words just don't seem to fit.

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When I'm around people, I sometimes yell in my head "STOP READING MY MIND! I KNOW YOU'RE DOING IT, SO STOP!" just in case.

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There's this reassuring voice in my head. She's almost like a mother, telling me that it'll be alright and that I have things to do.

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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Accidentally scratching a surface and then scratching it again with the tops of your fingernails to even it out.

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Sometime when I'm alone, I like to fill my bathtub with marinara sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.

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Picking your dogs booger for him/her

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The volume level on my TV has to be either an even number or a multiple of five.

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Whenever I pull a long hair from my vagina or butt, it feels good.

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Pulling the same faces as the character you are reading currently is.

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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Not eat French fries because I don't like the taste rather than because they are unhealthy?

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Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

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Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

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the power to regenerate your appendix

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Freak out at sudden noises when home alone at night.

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Stop at the beginning of an escalator, and let the stairs drag you forward by just your toes.

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i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

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after seeing toy story, and watching that toys moved and talked to each other when the humans werent around, thinking that toys are really like that when you gone, and when you go back to you room, the toys rush back into their spots.

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Try to figure out if some of the posts were written by the same person.

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Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

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Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.