I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

I like to watch lava lamps heat up

Make up a song to yourself.

Run faster down hotel corridors.

Sing every word to Bohemian Rhapsody every time you hear it in the most dramatic way possible.

When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

When posting these, I'm rarely able to read the words/letters in the box that prove you're human and not some computer virus. Now I'm starting to think I'm not a human......

Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

check to see if post has any likes right after posting it. then have second thoughts about it.

accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

make it a point of interest to know every word to a song that nobody likes. (i.e. call me maybe) >.>

At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

Pretend I'm a back-up dancer or singing a duet with the singer of the song I'm listening to.

looking at the last page of thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com to see how weird some people are...

Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

While in the shower, after ive used soap and stuff i turn the water to cold and i pretend im on fear factor and close my eyes so i cannot see what i am trying to get while crawling through freezing cold water

when i piss in the toilet, i flush half way through and race the toilet to the finish.

That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

When the T.V switches to commercial sometimes I forget what I was watching Noel

Sometimes I have something I want to do and then walk into the room to do it in and forget exactly what I was trying to do, it usually involves the kitchen so I just look in the refrigerator then leave and then remember what it is I wanted to do.

If I'm at work and have to poop, when I get in the stall I look under the opening at the bottom for any other feet in the other stalls to make sure I am alone. I always think what if when I do that someone else does it at the same time.

Half of these posts are all but "things you think only you do". So is mine

Have to have a certain light in the bathroom to poop. Also, nobody can be anywhere near me.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.