Stop at the beginning of an escalator, and let the stairs drag you forward by just your toes.

Add numbers on license plates of cars around me while waiting at a light.

I don't read the terms of service.

I pretend that my pillow is the love of my life and kiss it and cuddle it before bed.

Smoking in the shower.

You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

Paranoid someone is reading your mind, so you think something weird to see if they look at you

jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

walking up steps in the dark and you think you've gotten to the top but there's actually one more step and you panic because you think your going to fall

When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

I lift my butt when I'm farting

Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

when you pick up something you think is going to be heavy and its like you suddenly have super strength

Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

Think what would I be doing if I was someone else

Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

i masturbate with my feet

Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

When listening to a song with headphones or on the radio i sing the harmonies or make them while they sing the lead

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.