I read the down voted posts

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After waking up from being extremely intoxicated the night before, i check my phone and ALL my accounts on the internet to make sure i didnt make an ass of myself.

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doesn't eat meal until desired tv show starts.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

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When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

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trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

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You see someone do something cool and imagine doing it in front of all your friends

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when i listen to music in my earphones, i always pretend its me performing the song to an audience.

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Go through a bunch of the boxes with the messed up letters (The ones making sure your not a robot) trying to find one you like. Then, click the refresh button and realize that the last one might have been the best one you were going to get.

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Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

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Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

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Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

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When someone wants to kill a bug, I'll get insane and catch the bug, then run out and release the bug while saying "NOW YOU'RE FREE!!!!!"

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Pretending you're a badass character from an anime or movie when listening to rock music (or something similar)

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I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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When you're walking along at night and you see the moon, then you move around quickly,still looking at it as if you're controlling it.

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Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

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I wonder what it wonder be like to have a really tall girlfriend?

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Realized with 7 billion people, there is a chance that someone else on earth is doing exactly the same thing as me at any given time.

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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Having the TV turned on when using my laptop or else the silence will make me feel like someone is in my house trying to kill me.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.