- Things You Think Only You Do

I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

If I'm in the car looking for an address or a street name I'll turn down the radio. Why?

You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

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Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

When I'm watching a movie I have already seen I hope for a different ending but soon realize it won't happen

trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

I think something is gonna get me at night when I walk out of my brothers roomso I look behind me and run and usually bump into a wall

Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

Say "Up and Down" for "Left or Right"

Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

When you are thinking, and you think about what you are thinking. You are automatically purposely thinking until you stop thinking about it. I am thinking about thinking about how I think right now. I think...

Discovering your friend is an indian (Nicole)

Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

Take pieces of loose hair and keep it in a plastic bag in my wallet so if I ever get killed and my ID stolen, my body can still be identified.

I prefer to go to the bathroom with the door open.

Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

Everytime aplane is flying low you think it's going to crash right in front of your eyes

Left alone Big noise, people aren't expected back as soon so grab baseball bat and charge only to find them back early...."what you doing?" "batting my socks around practising my baseball skills"

What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.