I read the down voted posts

After waking up from being extremely intoxicated the night before, i check my phone and ALL my accounts on the internet to make sure i didnt make an ass of myself.

doesn't eat meal until desired tv show starts.

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

You see someone do something cool and imagine doing it in front of all your friends

when i listen to music in my earphones, i always pretend its me performing the song to an audience.

Go through a bunch of the boxes with the messed up letters (The ones making sure your not a robot) trying to find one you like. Then, click the refresh button and realize that the last one might have been the best one you were going to get.

Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

When someone wants to kill a bug, I'll get insane and catch the bug, then run out and release the bug while saying "NOW YOU'RE FREE!!!!!"

Pretending you're a badass character from an anime or movie when listening to rock music (or something similar)

I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

When you're walking along at night and you see the moon, then you move around quickly,still looking at it as if you're controlling it.

Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

I wonder what it wonder be like to have a really tall girlfriend?

Realized with 7 billion people, there is a chance that someone else on earth is doing exactly the same thing as me at any given time.

When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

Having the TV turned on when using my laptop or else the silence will make me feel like someone is in my house trying to kill me.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.