Cringe when remembering something weird about you that happened years ago

At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

I think something is gonna get me at night when I walk out of my brothers roomso I look behind me and run and usually bump into a wall

Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

sometimes *sigh* sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

When you are thinking, and you think about what you are thinking. You are automatically purposely thinking until you stop thinking about it. I am thinking about thinking about how I think right now. I think...

Discovering your friend is an indian (Nicole)

Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

I am such a coward. When I'm going to have an argument or complain to someone, I think of the beat ever retort, but when it comes down to it I say "why are you so mean" or " why don't you just leave me alone for once" or something like that. ( Yes I get picked on, cos I'm the smartest in our class)

Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

I prefer to go to the bathroom with the door open.

Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

When I am bored I look at things and wonder about the people who made them, and at what time they were made, etc. Like whether my Bic pen was made in the morning or the night. Savy.

I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

When someone enters the room while i'm playing a game, start playing the best song of the game soundtrack so they notice it and think the game has a cool soundtrack.

Put my hands together the 'other' way

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.