Wanting to change your name to Peter Jankins

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In the shower i let water run down my hands so it looks like i'm shooting water out of my fingers.

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When I was a kid and I misbehaved when my dad used to smack me I would put emphasis in my cries to let him think that I got the lesson.

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Feel like something is behind you/watching you, run to your room super quickly and get into the room before that something gets you

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When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

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get some of the lyrics to a song wrong. you know theyre wrong, but continue to sing the wrong words anyway, because the real words just don't seem to fit.

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I put the volume on my television so it is on any number divisible by five (5-10-15 etc. etc.)

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Sometimes I find myself staring at the television only to realize its off.

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fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

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When ever i watch a movie with my parents i hope to god there is no nudity or awkward sex talk

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Try to figure out if some of the posts were written by the same person.

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Stop at the beginning of an escalator, and let the stairs drag you forward by just your toes.

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Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

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i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

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I make sims of everyone I know and make them have kids together.

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turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

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Going to sleep during class thinking that you've written down all your notes, until you wake up and realize you did nothing.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

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Turn the door knob while closing the door ...so it doesn't make a loud noise.

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While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

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I think Frozen is an overrated film

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I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.