when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

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Turn volume down on iPod or tv, then turn up one bar to make it seem like it's still loud.

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Wipe a soda can after somebody else in my family drinks out of it just in case I get sick or I may feel there spit.

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Hide your I pod when your parents walk in at 12pm and then go back to what ever you were doing when they leave.

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When listening to a song with headphones or on the radio i sing the harmonies or make them while they sing the lead

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Thinking about a situation someone else in the world might be in. For example, Someone dying and the pain they must be going through.

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Take pieces of loose hair and keep it in a plastic bag in my wallet so if I ever get killed and my ID stolen, my body can still be identified.

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Being fat

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Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

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Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

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When I'm watching something interesting on TV, sometimes i realize they I'm making a weird face so i make sure that i make my face go back to its normal position. This way, my face won't get stuck like that

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Start walking down a busy street or mall, and realise I've gone the wrong way. Suddenly stop and pretend to read something on my phone for a few seconds before turning round and walking the right way.

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Know almost every line from spongbob episodes.

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What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

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Everytime aplane is flying low you think it's going to crash right in front of your eyes

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Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

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Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

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that time where you open the fridge door and stare at it for like 10 min then close it and walk away?

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Kill Jb without getting aressted.

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Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.