Blow into the shower head when I'm taking a shower to make what sounds like jet noises

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I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

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I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

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pretend your on the phone talking to someone to make you look like you not a loner

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While talking on the phone you can't think of anything to say then it gets awkwardly quiet

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sometimes *sigh* sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

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everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

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If I'm in the car looking for an address or a street name I'll turn down the radio. Why?

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Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

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look at bins as i walk past them

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try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

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I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

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Sitting down in the shower

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Inspect the shower, bath or toilet, then washing it until you believe it is suitable to use.

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Write a word then wonder if it's spelt with an i or and e so just put them both in but do it in such a way that the person reading it won't know whether you didn't know the spelling or misspelled it then realized your mistake and tried to fix it.

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I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

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Imagin what would happen if there was a zombie invasion just at your house.

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send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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I **** with no hands.

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Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

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I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.