You always go to the corner of the shower when the cold water is running.

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When I'm in a car and I hear a song on the radio, I always imagine myself performing it perfectly in front of a crowd even though I know I'd never be able to do that. I've done this since I was very young and still do.

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When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

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moving your hand with objects that are already moving and pretending you have the force.

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After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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Going to sleep during class thinking that you've written down all your notes, until you wake up and realize you did nothing.

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Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

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I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

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Have one of those days where you think it is just a dream but then reality takes over

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Stand on the first floor and look up through the 2nd story railing just to look up women's skirts.

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Get annoyed when I click on the "popular" button and it's always the same things.

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Somethings thinking: O God, I love this world.

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When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

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Use a signature that automatically gets me hundreds of red thumbs... Yeah that moral crap...

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Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

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send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

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When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

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Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

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I can't piss with my shoes on.

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Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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If i've been thinking about a particular person a lot, afterwards if people are telling a story or describing a scenario, I always picture the person I was thinking of before as the person as the main character in their story/scenario.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.