- Things You Think Only You Do

When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

Stop at the beginning of an escalator, and let the stairs drag you forward by just your toes.

Find myself thinking a completely random meaningless sentence as I'm falling asleep with no idea how I got to that thought.

Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

when your doing something or going somewhere you think didn't I already do this, like your back in time.

That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

When A situation Doesn't go how I wanted it to go, It annoys me so much I sometimes shit in my hands and clap.

I Think people can read my mind....."if you can read my mind nod your head or don't if you don't want me to know that you can" It doesn't work either way but yeah thats just me lol

i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

I pretend that my pillow is the love of my life and kiss it and cuddle it before bed.

Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

If my SOLVE media is too long I refresh it to give me a shorter one

When I walking the same direction as other people, I secretly race them and do the sports commentry in my head

Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

I keep on trying to imagine how long eternity is for when I go to Heaven. It never ends...

I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

forget to breathe while listening to ear buds too loudly.

Making gang signs out the window when your parents let you ride in the front seat

Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.