- Things You Think Only You Do

when im in the toilet and invent something in my mind and dont have a pen and paper to wright my invention and when im done i forget about it...

I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

Somethings thinking: O God, I love this world.

trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

getting really nervous about random white vans that drive by you.

Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

Say "Up and Down" for "Left or Right"

start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

HEY! YOU! Yeah you! I can speak you only, NO! Nobody else here! Yeah you only you, by the way you are a dirty piece of s**t you mothe* F**ker! YEAH ITS YOU! I HATE YOU! EVERYBODY HATES YOU YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! end of special message just for you

I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

When you are thinking, and you think about what you are thinking. You are automatically purposely thinking until you stop thinking about it. I am thinking about thinking about how I think right now. I think...

When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

Write a word then wonder if it's spelt with an i or and e so just put them both in but do it in such a way that the person reading it won't know whether you didn't know the spelling or misspelled it then realized your mistake and tried to fix it.

Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

Tap my fingers really rapidly when I'm annoyed, stressed out, fed up or angry.

Walk down the street, listening to a song, singing it softly, then thinking 'I might wanna stop doing that before I look awkward', but the wires get crossed and you start singing LOUDER and so on.

Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

Make up a song to yourself.

If I get lost while driving, the first thing I do is turn down the radio.

Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.