When in a public toilet, I never leave the cubicle until everyone is either out of the room or in their own cubicle.

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When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

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Everytime my sibling starts a sentance with "I remember when","I have an idea"etc.,I get up and walk out.

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When I'm home alone at night I check around the corners to make sure there isn't anyone there

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When a passneger in the car, I sing songs in my head and hope the song is in time with the signs and streetlights as I drive past them.

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

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I flush the toilet if the water's green and I'm going to have a poo, so it doesn't splash me.

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I make sims of everyone I know and make them have kids together.

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Whenever I watch TV, the volume has to be on multiples of 5. Even if the perfect volume is in between.

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Point your finger to the sky when your favorite song comes on in the club or the radio

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If I'm walking with or behind someone I always match their footsteps

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Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

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I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

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Get turned on when you see a girl yawn

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You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

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Looking at something suggestive on your computer and worrying that someone else in your family can see what you're doing on their computer.

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I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

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Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually in a coma and that everything is just a dream and my parents are standing over me watching me and wishing their daughter was awake

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Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

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When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

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I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.