Make up a song to yourself.

If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

My brother (who is 2 years younger) and I have our own language, consisting of movie quotes and silly stuff we made up when we were little. We speak it with abandon when we're alone, and try as hard as we can to suppress it when we're with a friend. But sometimes some of it slips out, and the friend looks at us like he's the guy who isn't in on the joke; I always get the feeling he or she thinks the two of us are crazy. By the way, if you're the third person in company with two close siblings who are speaking their own secret language, don't ask them to explain or look at them like they're crazy. They're not nuts, and you won't understand, even if they try to explain. Just let it pass.

Wipe the salt off your hand on your right pant leg after eating salty fries from fast food restaurants.

Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

Invented a special password for yourself in order to recognize yourself if travel through time.

That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

Sometimes I have something I want to do and then walk into the room to do it in and forget exactly what I was trying to do, it usually involves the kitchen so I just look in the refrigerator then leave and then remember what it is I wanted to do.

If I'm at work and have to poop, when I get in the stall I look under the opening at the bottom for any other feet in the other stalls to make sure I am alone. I always think what if when I do that someone else does it at the same time.

Sometimes I get annoyed when I realize none of my friends ever eat vegetables or drink anything but sugary soda`s and are somehow as healthy, sometimes even healthier than me.

get happy as sh*t when you remember your homework is do after your lunch period so you can do it then, but never end up doing it.

You think about all the stupid things you did in elementary school and avoid anyone who went to your elementary school in high school.

When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

Turn off light in bed... notice something you haven't seen before. IT'S SLENDERMAN You turn the light back on and realized it was a lamp

Laugh when something happens to someone, but when the exact same happens to you, you say "Its not funny"

If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

I scratch and sniff.

i feel all weird and sad when i thing about my old belongings.

When im alone in my car i talk to myself about lifes issues

Run into a wall and say "I'm sorry" and then realize that it's just a wall.

I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

Listening to a song, thinking about having the life of the singer in the band

I DO wish I had the ability of the guy in the comment below me. Moral: Yeah I have to type moral down here, because its awesome and because whatever its awesome!

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.