When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

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Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

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All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

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When passed by a very attractive girl in the street, turn around and look after her and/or follow her to the next street corner, in order to grasp more of her beauty.

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I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

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I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

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Tap my fingers really rapidly when I'm annoyed, stressed out, fed up or angry.

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Watch peoples body language and see if they're on the same pace of thought as i am and then try to speed up my thinking to pretend or act like I am realizing something they are not.

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Whenever Terminator 2 is on tv, I become enthralled and can't stop watching even though I've seen it a million times.

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I **** with no hands.

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Put my hands together the 'other' way

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Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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When Ive already talked to somebody , I think of things I couldve said to make the converstion better

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Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

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Walking into a room to do something, and then forgetting what you were gonna do.

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The older I get the more honest I get

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When you like your own comment or status', but then you feel kind of pathetic for doing it so you unlike it.

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When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

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eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

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accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

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sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

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When you lie in bed and imagine scenarios that will never happen.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.