I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

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Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

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when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

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start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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I rehearse arguments in my head.

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Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

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When I'm watching something interesting on TV, sometimes i realize they I'm making a weird face so i make sure that i make my face go back to its normal position. This way, my face won't get stuck like that

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i see things on this site and am secretly glad im not weird like everyone else

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Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

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I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

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Everytime aplane is flying low you think it's going to crash right in front of your eyes

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Tap my fingers really rapidly when I'm annoyed, stressed out, fed up or angry.

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Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

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I was not born in the country I am living in now

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(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

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Put my hands together the 'other' way

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Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

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when listening to pandora just skip through the songs and hit the like or hate buttons and not listen to the music,but then when you want to listen to the music you can't because theres no wifi

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Sometimes when someone says something to me, I will hear them perfectly clear, but I will instinctively say "what?"

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Sometimes I feel that my reflection in the mirror will stop doing what I'm doing and either jump out and grab me, start telling me about her reflected life, or give me a mission to free her from her mirror life.

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masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

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While at the movies, grab and eat your popcorn with your tongue and pretend you are a lizard.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.