I sometimes chew on the inside of my cheek

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I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

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When I'm watching a movie I have already seen I hope for a different ending but soon realize it won't happen

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Cheak the fridge every 5 minuets waiting for food to just "magicly" appear

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try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

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Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

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when you pick up something you think is going to be heavy and its like you suddenly have super strength

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Only use the left earphone.

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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Say "Up and Down" for "Left or Right"

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when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

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I love the tingly feeling you get when youve shifted after realizing you arm, leg, hand, etc. has gone numb. am i the only one?

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Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

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Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

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I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

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Watch peoples body language and see if they're on the same pace of thought as i am and then try to speed up my thinking to pretend or act like I am realizing something they are not.

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Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

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I was not born in the country I am living in now

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Laying in bed at a friends place with your eyes closed imaging where you would end up if you got up and went to the toilet as if it was your own house.

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Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

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Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

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When Ive already talked to somebody , I think of things I couldve said to make the converstion better

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If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.