expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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Say "Up and Down" for "Left or Right"

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when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

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I love the tingly feeling you get when youve shifted after realizing you arm, leg, hand, etc. has gone numb. am i the only one?

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Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

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Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

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When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

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I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

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Watch peoples body language and see if they're on the same pace of thought as i am and then try to speed up my thinking to pretend or act like I am realizing something they are not.

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Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

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I was not born in the country I am living in now

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Laying in bed at a friends place with your eyes closed imaging where you would end up if you got up and went to the toilet as if it was your own house.

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Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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When Ive already talked to somebody , I think of things I couldve said to make the converstion better

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If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

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After going to the toilet to do a S#!* I will only sit on one cheek for the rest of the day until I bathe

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Sometimes I feel that my reflection in the mirror will stop doing what I'm doing and either jump out and grab me, start telling me about her reflected life, or give me a mission to free her from her mirror life.

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Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.

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Being able to think about great ideas for the world, but not being able to get a math problem done.

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sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.