HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Turn volume down on iPod or tv, then turn up one bar to make it seem like it's still loud.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

try to give your friends spirit animals

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Watched the woman in black then go to bed then suddenly a woman in black comes in my room oh wait it is just my mum saying good night

thumb_up thumb_down -65

I prefer to go to the bathroom with the door open.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

When passed by a very attractive girl in the street, turn around and look after her and/or follow her to the next street corner, in order to grasp more of her beauty.

thumb_up thumb_down -69

sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

thumb_up thumb_down -69

When I was little I used to cover myself all the way up and put pillows around me, then ask my sister if she could see me, trying to be invisible when I sleep just in case someone breaks into my house at night.

thumb_up thumb_down -71

Pretending I'm on my cellphone in public.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

thumb_up thumb_down -77

Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

thumb_up thumb_down -77

Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -77

When someone enters the room while i'm playing a game, start playing the best song of the game soundtrack so they notice it and think the game has a cool soundtrack.

thumb_up thumb_down -83

i try to spit onto my line of piss while going to the toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down -83

I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

thumb_up thumb_down -85

worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

thumb_up thumb_down -91

You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

thumb_up thumb_down -95

When a tooth is very loose,i shake it with my tongue because that pain is relaxing.

thumb_up thumb_down -97

I like to go out without shoes on hot days and play the floor is lava

thumb_up thumb_down -107

Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

thumb_up thumb_down -113

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.