I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

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in the morning when you wake up and take a shower you make weird faces to stretch out and "warm up" your face for the day

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Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

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I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

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Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

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I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

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Sleeping with one leg under the blanket and one out.

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Cheak the fridge every 5 minuets waiting for food to just "magicly" appear

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try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

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Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

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getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

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Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

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When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

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when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

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When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

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Deside to watch a video in bed on your phone or iPad and drop it on your face...

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Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

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All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

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When passed by a very attractive girl in the street, turn around and look after her and/or follow her to the next street corner, in order to grasp more of her beauty.

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I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

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I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

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Watch peoples body language and see if they're on the same pace of thought as i am and then try to speed up my thinking to pretend or act like I am realizing something they are not.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.