When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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When someone enters the room while i'm playing a game, start playing the best song of the game soundtrack so they notice it and think the game has a cool soundtrack.

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I **** with no hands.

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Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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I was the real Stig...

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I have a phobia of incest

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When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

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sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

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When i was a kid. I really dont care about the story of any animated film. As long as im watching it.

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Sometimes I think of doing really bad things and smirk, only to later regret even thinking of it and start questioning myself while feeling bad about it.

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You always go to the corner of the shower when the cold water is running.

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wipe all the water off my body (predrying myself) before i get out of the shower, and dry myself with the towel

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When I was a kid and I misbehaved when my dad used to smack me I would put emphasis in my cries to let him think that I got the lesson.

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Sometimes, I wonder why god or the big bang ever existed in the first place and why there is a universe in the first place ... And it makes my brain hurt!

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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Sometime when I'm alone, I like to fill my bathtub with marinara sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.

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Whenever on a car ride, pretend you are in a military convoy and shoot at pursuing helicopters and soldiers.

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Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

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When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

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Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

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I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

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in a grocery store, only walking on the colored single tiles the entire time your in there pretending there small cliffs without touching the white one otherwise you fall and fail.

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You tell your friends that you hate the Rick roll'd song even though you secretly like it.

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.