....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

thumb_up thumb_down -84

When you're scared of the bathroom and you close your eyes you quickly look around to check if there's a monster or something in the mirror

thumb_up thumb_down -88

Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

thumb_up thumb_down -90

(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

thumb_up thumb_down -92

I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down -130

When you're walking along at night and you see the moon, then you move around quickly,still looking at it as if you're controlling it.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

thumb_up thumb_down +19

I wonder what it wonder be like to have a really tall girlfriend?

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Pretend I'm a back-up dancer or singing a duet with the singer of the song I'm listening to.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Read things from this page and think to self: "Thank God, I thought I was the only one."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I can't step on the cracks of sidewalks.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Invented a special password for yourself in order to recognize yourself if travel through time.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Love the natural smell of my dog's paws.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Be best friends with someone and tell them all your secrets and then they become best friends with someone else and you hope they won't tell your secrets

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I hit the frig after sex

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I like to eat tomato soup and peanut butter sandwiches...its not as gross as it sounds

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Listening to a song, thinking about having the life of the singer in the band

thumb_up thumb_down -3

watch lesbian porn instead of normal because you hate have other men in the picture

thumb_up thumb_down -5

I see something glittery, someone tells me not to pick it up because I'll glitter all over myself, I pick it up anyway and glitter all over myself.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

My login password is INCORRECT so if I forget it my computer will say "your password is incorrect"

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.