Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

I thought I was disgusting until I read the top voted things here. Floral: Actually pretty neat.

Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

Laying alone in bed at night and then every single scary thought, face, image, movie, or whatever starts playing in your mind.

When you're walking along at night and you see the moon, then you move around quickly,still looking at it as if you're controlling it.

Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

If I get lost while driving, the first thing I do is turn down the radio.

masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

When reading some of the weirder things here, I somewhat worry some of these things people do might start happening to me just because I read about them.

Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

Feel bad about hurting someone a long time ago, when I was a child, and wish I could speak to that person and say "I'm sorry." Cringe whenever the thought of the incident rises.

Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

Say something smart in class, then worry your friends will rip ony uo for it half way through saying it, so end it by saying "or something like that."

I can't step on the cracks of sidewalks.

log out of any social network sites so that when im on a website it doesnt somehow send messages to my profile

browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

I'm in the middle of a good dream but I wake up and try to go back to sleep to finish it when it never happens.

I chew my ice cream.

Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

Turn off light in bed... notice something you haven't seen before. IT'S SLENDERMAN You turn the light back on and realized it was a lamp

Pull your headphones away from your ear when you're listening to music to see if it's too loud.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.