Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

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trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

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Making gang signs out the window when your parents let you ride in the front seat

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Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

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Get annoyed when I click on the "popular" button and it's always the same things.

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Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

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Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

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Whenever I finish reading a book, I feel a great sense of achievement.

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Deside to watch a video in bed on your phone or iPad and drop it on your face...

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send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

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Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

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When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

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start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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Wipe a soda can after somebody else in my family drinks out of it just in case I get sick or I may feel there spit.

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I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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Sitting down in the shower

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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I blow my nose in my towel after i dry off. Then use the same towel the next day. lol

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Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

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I **** with no hands.

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only drink milk from a freshly opened carton

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Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

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Love to check my astrological compatibility with my favorite musicians.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.