You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

I sometimes chew on the inside of my cheek

If people knew what I am really thinking about while they are talking to me... YIKES!

Have one of those days where you think it is just a dream but then reality takes over

Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

Making gang signs out the window when your parents let you ride in the front seat

Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

Deside to watch a video in bed on your phone or iPad and drop it on your face...

Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

Wipe a soda can after somebody else in my family drinks out of it just in case I get sick or I may feel there spit.

When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

Sitting down in the shower

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

I blow my nose in my towel after i dry off. Then use the same towel the next day. lol

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.