Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

Making gang signs out the window when your parents let you ride in the front seat

Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

Get annoyed when I click on the "popular" button and it's always the same things.

Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

Whenever I finish reading a book, I feel a great sense of achievement.

Deside to watch a video in bed on your phone or iPad and drop it on your face...

send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

Wipe a soda can after somebody else in my family drinks out of it just in case I get sick or I may feel there spit.

I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

Sitting down in the shower

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

I blow my nose in my towel after i dry off. Then use the same towel the next day. lol

Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

I **** with no hands.

only drink milk from a freshly opened carton

Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

Love to check my astrological compatibility with my favorite musicians.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.