When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

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whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

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Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

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Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

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trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

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getting really nervous about random white vans that drive by you.

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use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

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Say "Up and Down" for "Left or Right"

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

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When you are thinking, and you think about what you are thinking. You are automatically purposely thinking until you stop thinking about it. I am thinking about thinking about how I think right now. I think...

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So has anyone else ever been in the middle of doing something and at the exact moment something happens and you sort of wonder if it happened because of what you did.

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Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

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Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

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When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

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Walk down the street, listening to a song, singing it softly, then thinking 'I might wanna stop doing that before I look awkward', but the wires get crossed and you start singing LOUDER and so on.

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scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

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(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

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Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

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Make up a song to yourself.

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If I get lost while driving, the first thing I do is turn down the radio.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.