Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

thumb_up thumb_down -79

(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

thumb_up thumb_down -95

I thought I was disgusting until I read the top voted things here. Floral: Actually pretty neat.

thumb_up thumb_down -99

Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

thumb_up thumb_down -103

Laying alone in bed at night and then every single scary thought, face, image, movie, or whatever starts playing in your mind.

thumb_up thumb_down +70

When you're walking along at night and you see the moon, then you move around quickly,still looking at it as if you're controlling it.

thumb_up thumb_down +64

Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

If I get lost while driving, the first thing I do is turn down the radio.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

thumb_up thumb_down +30

When reading some of the weirder things here, I somewhat worry some of these things people do might start happening to me just because I read about them.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Feel bad about hurting someone a long time ago, when I was a child, and wish I could speak to that person and say "I'm sorry." Cringe whenever the thought of the incident rises.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Say something smart in class, then worry your friends will rip ony uo for it half way through saying it, so end it by saying "or something like that."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I can't step on the cracks of sidewalks.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

log out of any social network sites so that when im on a website it doesnt somehow send messages to my profile

thumb_up thumb_down +6

browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I'm in the middle of a good dream but I wake up and try to go back to sleep to finish it when it never happens.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I chew my ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

thumb_up thumb_down

I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Turn off light in bed... notice something you haven't seen before. IT'S SLENDERMAN You turn the light back on and realized it was a lamp

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Pull your headphones away from your ear when you're listening to music to see if it's too loud.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.