- Things You Think Only You Do

I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

Run faster down hotel corridors.

sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

When reading some of the weirder things here, I somewhat worry some of these things people do might start happening to me just because I read about them.

I never take drinks into smelly places, out of fear that the smell will somehow get into my drink and contaminate the taste.

Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

When you cringe as you walk out of a store because you're paranoid the door will beep...

Wipe the salt off your hand on your right pant leg after eating salty fries from fast food restaurants.

When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

When sitting or laying down, tell yourself to get up in your head but see how long your body can resist your commands, and end up yelling at yourself to move in your head while still sitting/laying down.

When my girlfriend ask me what I am thinking about, I tell her I am thinking of all the great things about my last girlfriend.

I find it easiest to read or study while sitting on the toilet.

You always go to the corner of the shower when the cold water is running.

Spend a ton of time on the way you look and the clothes you choose, then going out in public and imagining you're a celeb.

When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

Change the channel when a Progressive commercial comes on because I can't STAND that stupid Flo girl.

Sometimes I blink and act like I am taking a picture with my eyes.

after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth

like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

Look at my poop before flushing

I have a feeling that life is a Video Game for another Universe. When the player looks at their computer screen, they see what I see. They control everything I do. Like The Sims games. Everyone else is either other players in a multiplayer server, or they are are all fake, computer players.

When I haven't looked in a mirror for a while, I worry that I look awful, and when I get to a mirror, I'm like "Oh yeah, that's what I look like".

acting as if you can shoot with a banana

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.