I mean Diana Ross.

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Whenever I hear a baby or a young child scream very loud, I imagine that their head will explode.

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When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

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cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

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Poking my self under the covers just to not falleth asleepeth (t -_-)zzzzzz

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Put the towel near the shower so that you can stand on it and not get the floor wet

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Can't stop tears from comeing to your eyes when singing

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How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

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When I'm at home alone, I feel like people are watching me through my windows, so I act completely civil.

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Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

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when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

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Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

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Sometimes, I wonder why god or the big bang ever existed in the first place and why there is a universe in the first place ... And it makes my brain hurt!

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Guessing on those annoying Captcha things and then getting unnecessarily angry when it tells you you're wrong.

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When I'm laying in bed in the dark and I close my eyes for a while then when I open them again I quickly scan for a light source just to make sure I can still see.

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Wonder what random strangers look like or noises and such they make while having sex. Everyone literally. People you interact with at work , customers, your boss, the married couple. Except for people who are like dirty looking af. Our just straight up ugly. Then your like grossed out by those thoughts your having and start getting that home sickfeeling in your stomach. Almost like butterflies but like dead ones or something. Hard to explain.

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I don't use my car air conditioning because I think it's wasteful and it might "run-out" when I'm REALLY, REALLY hot.

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Wake up after a dream. About a day later you think about if it was real or not.

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I thought the 2013 film Frozen could have gone longer

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get a new *to you* car, and suddenly every other car on the road is the same make/ model..... hey look! an outback!

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I always try to play it cool and act like it’s no big deal. But I always have a mini anxiety attack before actually stepping onto a moving escalator. It is a task trying to time my step perfectly where my foot isn’t hanging off a step and I have to hurry my second foot on there isn’t an awdward space of steps between my feet. -Ikka

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When texting someone on the toilet & they ask, "What are you doing?" I respond with, "Oh, just chillin." LOL. -Jade

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Sometimes when I look at a clock the seconds hand ticks backwards

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When something funny happens think of it a couple days later than laugh,everyone then looks at me weirdly.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.