Have one of those days where you think it is just a dream but then reality takes over

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

thumb_up thumb_down -47

trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Making gang signs out the window when your parents let you ride in the front seat

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Get annoyed when I click on the "popular" button and it's always the same things.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Whenever I finish reading a book, I feel a great sense of achievement.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Deside to watch a video in bed on your phone or iPad and drop it on your face...

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

thumb_up thumb_down -61

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Sitting down in the shower

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

thumb_up thumb_down -65

I prefer to go to the bathroom with the door open.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

Know almost every line from spongbob episodes.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

thumb_up thumb_down -73

Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

thumb_up thumb_down -75

I **** with no hands.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

only drink milk from a freshly opened carton

thumb_up thumb_down -75

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.