Toss something across the room toward the place it belongs, get excited when it lands upright/ perfectly in place, then immediately regret you weren't recording it.

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When I'm laying in bed in the dark and I close my eyes for a while then when I open them again I quickly scan for a light source just to make sure I can still see.

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Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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Mares really turn me on, so I download "bad stuff" Ironically though, I worked at a farm last summer and realized there is nothing more disgusting than reality. Still mares turn me on... If on video.

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I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

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When I meet someone random, and have a small conversation, and then when they leave, I feel sad because I think I am never going to see them again.

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Sleep in your jeans because you think it feels comfortable in the morning.

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I just saw the D in Disney for the first time ever. My brain always saw a backwards G. I knew it was supposed to be a D, I just never bothered to fix it. There has been a G there my whole life.

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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i fap in the bathroom because its the only room i have a reason to lock the door in.

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I hold my breath in elevators

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When something funny happens think of it a couple days later than laugh,everyone then looks at me weirdly.

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Pretending there is a man running beside you during a long car journey and jumping over obstacles

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in the morning when you wake up and take a shower you make weird faces to stretch out and "warm up" your face for the day

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I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

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test how many stares you can scale in one step

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

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I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

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Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

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Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

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(okay maybe not a thing I do but something I noticed) When people call themselves "Writers" In today's world you know that might not be the case because we have computers so shouldn't they be called typers?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.