Seeing an acquaintance who you would feel awkward talking to in a public place, knowing they see you as well, and pretending not to see them, while hoping they pretend not to see you as well.

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Getting over excited when you hear a song you like on the radio, even though you have it on your Ipod and can listen to it whenever you want.

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I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

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Pull your headphones away from your ear when you're listening to music to see if it's too loud.

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right click refresh on desktop. Repeat

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I mean Diana Ross.

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I scratch and sniff.

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Waiting alone inside a public toilet for someone to come in and open the door.... so you don't have to touch the handle!

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turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

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play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

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I take a dump and then look to see how big it is.

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sometimes when im in the shower and i hear the slightest bump i look behind the curtains to see if anyone is about to scare me

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When two people in my house are arguing, I stay in my room to avoid awkwardly interrupting them and being dragged into it.

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Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

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wipe all the water off my body (predrying myself) before i get out of the shower, and dry myself with the towel

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Wonder what random strangers look like or noises and such they make while having sex. Everyone literally. People you interact with at work , customers, your boss, the married couple. Except for people who are like dirty looking af. Our just straight up ugly. Then your like grossed out by those thoughts your having and start getting that home sickfeeling in your stomach. Almost like butterflies but like dead ones or something. Hard to explain.

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When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

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Have a sudden urge to say "bomb" at an airport.

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Think of the most awkward or dreadful thing you could possibly do in any given situation and be almost compelled to do it but then realising that you could never show your face anywhere ever again if you did.

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Sometime when I'm alone, I like to fill my bathtub with marinara sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.

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acting as if you can shoot with a banana

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Find myself thinking a completely random meaningless sentence as I'm falling asleep with no idea how I got to that thought.

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RE:" pee on the side of the toilet" you dont pee on the side of the toilet so it isn't loud. you pee on the side so it doesn't splash on you're legs as much.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.