I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

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Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

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When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

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Run faster down hotel corridors.

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If I get lost while driving, the first thing I do is turn down the radio.

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Become self-conscious and wonder if you were making faces while day dreaming during the middle of class.

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Sometimes I feel that my reflection in the mirror will stop doing what I'm doing and either jump out and grab me, start telling me about her reflected life, or give me a mission to free her from her mirror life.

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masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

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Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.

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Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

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Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

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I never take drinks into smelly places, out of fear that the smell will somehow get into my drink and contaminate the taste.

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have fake conversations that might happen in the future...so ur prepared

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A mix of Slenderman and Herobrine would be the ideal husband for me. >:)

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That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

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When I am in a bind and I know I need help I just say " I gott this" and things work out

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Thinking that out there, on this earth in a lost city, there is an awesome clone of you.

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Think that the person driving keeps staring at me when ever they look in the mirror and I'm sat in the back.

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Go to bed with my left nostril clogged, wake up with my right nostril clogged.

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I know how to Gleek on command. (Don't know what it is just look it up.)

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Sleep with pillow between legs

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When you have a stuffy nose, and you put tissue in one nostril so you can breathe.

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i feel all weird and sad when i thing about my old belongings.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.