- Things You Think Only You Do

When I'm home alone at night I check around the corners to make sure there isn't anyone there

Drink alcohol out of styrofoam soda cups on the bus and train.

Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

I don't read the terms of service.

Skip the first 3 minutes of "Free Bird" because it's too slow.

Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

walking up steps in the dark and you think you've gotten to the top but there's actually one more step and you panic because you think your going to fall

listen to madonnas new album

(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

I sometimes chew on the inside of my cheek

I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

test how many stares you can scale in one step

when im in the toilet and invent something in my mind and dont have a pen and paper to wright my invention and when im done i forget about it...

Turn the door knob while closing the door ...so it doesn't make a loud noise.

when you pick up something you think is going to be heavy and its like you suddenly have super strength

When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

standing at the mall with your group talking, you all decide to start walking to a store, start to follow but half the group stays behind for a few seconds then they start walking, walk a slower pace only to find out that you're in the middle of your split groups e.g. 3 in front 4 behind...dont know which one to merge to......wait for your group to collaborate back together.

poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

Sitting down in the shower

I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.