When you do something really cool but no one is there to see it and it's pointless to try and tell them about it because they don't believe you

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Tip my couch over to dig for something I have lost and then end up finding a bunch of random crap.

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Getting over excited when you hear a song you like on the radio, even though you have it on your Ipod and can listen to it whenever you want.

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When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

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I scratch and sniff.

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Turn off light in bed... notice something you haven't seen before. IT'S SLENDERMAN You turn the light back on and realized it was a lamp

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I mean Diana Ross.

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Pull your headphones away from your ear when you're listening to music to see if it's too loud.

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play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

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turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

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When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

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I take a dump and then look to see how big it is.

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When I am making submissions to this site I sometimes accidentally put them in the comment section

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Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

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Sometimes I blink and act like I am taking a picture with my eyes.

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Mares really turn me on, so I download "bad stuff" Ironically though, I worked at a farm last summer and realized there is nothing more disgusting than reality. Still mares turn me on... If on video.

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Being in the car and wondering if your parents can read your mind so you think "If you can here me cough in 3, 2, 1..." Sometimes my dad actually does it and he looks back at me and smiles. .-.

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Wonder what random strangers look like or noises and such they make while having sex. Everyone literally. People you interact with at work , customers, your boss, the married couple. Except for people who are like dirty looking af. Our just straight up ugly. Then your like grossed out by those thoughts your having and start getting that home sickfeeling in your stomach. Almost like butterflies but like dead ones or something. Hard to explain.

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Rub a pen tip between my fingers.

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Emmy Jackson Y U ALWAYS ANGRY WHEN SOMEONE SAY HI

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Have a sudden urge to say "bomb" at an airport.

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Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

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When A situation Doesn't go how I wanted it to go, It annoys me so much I sometimes shit in my hands and clap.

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When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.