I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

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You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

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If people knew what I am really thinking about while they are talking to me... YIKES!

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I sometimes chew on the inside of my cheek

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Have one of those days where you think it is just a dream but then reality takes over

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Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

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Making gang signs out the window when your parents let you ride in the front seat

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trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

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Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

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Get annoyed when I click on the "popular" button and it's always the same things.

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carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

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Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

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Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

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Whenever I finish reading a book, I feel a great sense of achievement.

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send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

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Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

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Deside to watch a video in bed on your phone or iPad and drop it on your face...

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When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

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start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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Sitting down in the shower

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.