- Things You Think Only You Do

I watch American football with the sound down low because the announcers are always trying to tell us that we didn't see what we just saw when the referees make bad calls

When I have my headphones in, and I'm miming the words to a song in the bathroom pretending that I'm playing a gig. I put the tap on to make sure no one hears me dancing.

How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

Mares really turn me on, so I download "bad stuff" Ironically though, I worked at a farm last summer and realized there is nothing more disgusting than reality. Still mares turn me on... If on video.

Whenever someone enters a pin number I always try to see how many number I can remember

Rub a pen tip between my fingers.

I wonder if elections are rigged?

When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

Find myself thinking a completely random meaningless sentence as I'm falling asleep with no idea how I got to that thought.

Stop at the beginning of an escalator, and let the stairs drag you forward by just your toes.

When home alone and you hear a noise getting out a gun/weapon.

turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

the power to regenerate your appendix

eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

You feel compelled to stab someone in the face... But you don't since you know its wrong. Instead you play violent video games to get it off your mind.

Point your finger to the sky when your favorite song comes on in the club or the radio

When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

only read the short jokes on this website

I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

When you had a crush on a girl in elementary school, then don't see her in middle school and think of how much of a bitch she was. Then You start crushing on her again in high school.

I sometimes chew on the inside of my cheek

I probably am the only one who does this but I climb on my cat's cat tree to see what it's like to be a cat o.o

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.