only read the short jokes on this website

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I don't read the terms of service.

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

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doesn't eat meal until desired tv show starts.

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

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Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

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test how many stares you can scale in one step

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

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Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

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Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

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try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

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carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

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Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

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When you are thinking, and you think about what you are thinking. You are automatically purposely thinking until you stop thinking about it. I am thinking about thinking about how I think right now. I think...

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When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

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I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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When listening to a song with headphones or on the radio i sing the harmonies or make them while they sing the lead

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Discovering your friend is an indian (Nicole)

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Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

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read on youtube comments with too unlikes

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When passed by a very attractive girl in the street, turn around and look after her and/or follow her to the next street corner, in order to grasp more of her beauty.

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Sitting down in the shower

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.