I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

thumb_up thumb_down -47

At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Show all your friends this website to prove your not as strange as they think you are.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

thumb_up thumb_down -49

trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

getting really nervous about random white vans that drive by you.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Say "Up and Down" for "Left or Right"

thumb_up thumb_down -57

I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

When you are thinking, and you think about what you are thinking. You are automatically purposely thinking until you stop thinking about it. I am thinking about thinking about how I think right now. I think...

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Write a word then wonder if it's spelt with an i or and e so just put them both in but do it in such a way that the person reading it won't know whether you didn't know the spelling or misspelled it then realized your mistake and tried to fix it.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

thumb_up thumb_down -73

I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

thumb_up thumb_down -77

Walk down the street, listening to a song, singing it softly, then thinking 'I might wanna stop doing that before I look awkward', but the wires get crossed and you start singing LOUDER and so on.

thumb_up thumb_down -79

scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

thumb_up thumb_down -89

(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

thumb_up thumb_down -93

Make up a song to yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down -159

If I get lost while driving, the first thing I do is turn down the radio.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

thumb_up thumb_down +32

feel like your calculator is judging/making fun of you for looking up simple equations

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.