Cringe when remembering something weird about you that happened years ago

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fap

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I HATE minecraft gift codes and the morons who post about them. I wish those morons would get off my planet.

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Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

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Stare at something long enough thinking it will eventually move.

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when you're walking down the streets and you listen to your iPod, you pretend you're part of the music video for that song and when no ones looking, lip sync to the lyrics, as if the camera man's filming you >.

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I **** with no hands.

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When someone enters the room while i'm playing a game, start playing the best song of the game soundtrack so they notice it and think the game has a cool soundtrack.

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Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

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You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

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worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

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Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

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when listening to pandora just skip through the songs and hit the like or hate buttons and not listen to the music,but then when you want to listen to the music you can't because theres no wifi

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I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

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Walking into a room to do something, and then forgetting what you were gonna do.

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Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

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Make sudden movements in the mirror to try and catch out my reflection.

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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Watch a familiar movie, and then freak out when you see a suspensful part, only to later realize that there was no point in getting worked up since you already know what happens.

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Thinking that out there, on this earth in a lost city, there is an awesome clone of you.

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Have to have a certain light in the bathroom to poop. Also, nobody can be anywhere near me.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.