I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

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only drink milk from a freshly opened carton

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What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

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You see someone do something cool and imagine doing it in front of all your friends

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Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

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(okay maybe not a thing I do but something I noticed) When people call themselves "Writers" In today's world you know that might not be the case because we have computers so shouldn't they be called typers?

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I was not born in the country I am living in now

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Pretending you're a badass character from an anime or movie when listening to rock music (or something similar)

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I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

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worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

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When you're scared of the bathroom and you close your eyes you quickly look around to check if there's a monster or something in the mirror

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Never step on manholes, because I'm afraid to fall in.

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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Walking into a room to do something, and then forgetting what you were gonna do.

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When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

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While at the movies, grab and eat your popcorn with your tongue and pretend you are a lizard.

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Get somewhat worried about myself if I'm thumbed down on THIS SITE.

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dip my fries in ice cream! sometimes in soda. It's good!

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I wonder what it wonder be like to have a really tall girlfriend?

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have fake conversations that might happen in the future...so ur prepared

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While I Am on the computer late at night, my Mum tells me to go to bed, I say I will in a second. I stay for a few more minutes, my mum tells me again, I do the same thing...

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get happy as sh*t when you remember your homework is do after your lunch period so you can do it then, but never end up doing it.

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When no one is home, I poop with the door open, just because I can.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.