- Things You Think Only You Do

Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

Drink alcohol out of styrofoam soda cups on the bus and train.

in the morning when you wake up and take a shower you make weird faces to stretch out and "warm up" your face for the day

I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

Use the toilet shower to wipe your a**, but denies the fact until death for your friends.

Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

when passing someone in a car beside you, you try to wonder where they are going just by looking at them, their clothes or their expressions

listen to madonnas new album

I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

Cheak the fridge every 5 minuets waiting for food to just "magicly" appear

try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

I love the tingly feeling you get when youve shifted after realizing you arm, leg, hand, etc. has gone numb. am i the only one?

When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.