Use the toilet shower to wipe your a**, but denies the fact until death for your friends.

If my SOLVE media is too long I refresh it to give me a shorter one

Sneeze for a few minutes when I've eaten too much.

feel like im being watched turn my head sideways and see someone suddenly look away.

I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

Show all your friends this website to prove your not as strange as they think you are.

Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually in a coma and that everything is just a dream and my parents are standing over me watching me and wishing their daughter was awake

Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

read on youtube comments with too unlikes

When you have the " If I'm on an elevator and it breaks and is about to crash at the bottom, and I jump up before it does, will I live?" thought.

What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

IM 13 years old when i touch something i have a feeling and wont let me do anything until i touch it again or 4 times or sometimes even 16 times i cant live like this its weird!!!!

I **** with no hands.

Pretending I'm on my cellphone in public.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.