start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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Say "Up and Down" for "Left or Right"

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Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

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I rehearse arguments in my head.

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trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

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Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

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When passed by a very attractive girl in the street, turn around and look after her and/or follow her to the next street corner, in order to grasp more of her beauty.

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When you have the " If I'm on an elevator and it breaks and is about to crash at the bottom, and I jump up before it does, will I live?" thought.

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All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I prefer to go to the bathroom with the door open.

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When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

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I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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I **** with no hands.

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You see someone do something cool and imagine doing it in front of all your friends

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(okay maybe not a thing I do but something I noticed) When people call themselves "Writers" In today's world you know that might not be the case because we have computers so shouldn't they be called typers?

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Laying in bed at a friends place with your eyes closed imaging where you would end up if you got up and went to the toilet as if it was your own house.

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When someone enters the room while i'm playing a game, start playing the best song of the game soundtrack so they notice it and think the game has a cool soundtrack.

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If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

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If I get lost while driving, the first thing I do is turn down the radio.

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Feel bad about hurting someone a long time ago, when I was a child, and wish I could speak to that person and say "I'm sorry." Cringe whenever the thought of the incident rises.

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I wonder what it wonder be like to have a really tall girlfriend?

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Feeling sorry for objects to throw away!! Haha anyone els?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.