Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

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When I'm watching a movie I have already seen I hope for a different ending but soon realize it won't happen

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Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

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when im in the toilet and invent something in my mind and dont have a pen and paper to wright my invention and when im done i forget about it...

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No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

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standing at the mall with your group talking, you all decide to start walking to a store, start to follow but half the group stays behind for a few seconds then they start walking, walk a slower pace only to find out that you're in the middle of your split groups e.g. 3 in front 4 behind...dont know which one to merge to......wait for your group to collaborate back together.

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Only use the left earphone.

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poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

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Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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i masturbate with my feet

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

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make south park refferences every day

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When passed by a very attractive girl in the street, turn around and look after her and/or follow her to the next street corner, in order to grasp more of her beauty.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

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I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

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Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I was the real Stig...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.