Get turned on when you see a girl yawn

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RE:" pee on the side of the toilet" you dont pee on the side of the toilet so it isn't loud. you pee on the side so it doesn't splash on you're legs as much.

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I make sims of everyone I know and make them have kids together.

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Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

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Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

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Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

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Have one of those days where you think it is just a dream but then reality takes over

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While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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Going to sleep during class thinking that you've written down all your notes, until you wake up and realize you did nothing.

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i get an headache when i each cheese. but i don't get one when i have pizza or cheese and onion crisps

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Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

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Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

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everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

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I love the tingly feeling you get when youve shifted after realizing you arm, leg, hand, etc. has gone numb. am i the only one?

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Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

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Make calculations with house number. Eg: House nº 112 means house nº 4

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send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

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What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

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Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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Run faster down hotel corridors.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.