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Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

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I was the real Stig...

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Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

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Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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The older I get the more honest I get

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When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

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Run faster down hotel corridors.

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Playing a sad song that talks about your current situation and then looking in the mirror or out the window pretending you are in a sad music video.

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Sometimes I feel that my reflection in the mirror will stop doing what I'm doing and either jump out and grab me, start telling me about her reflected life, or give me a mission to free her from her mirror life.

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accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

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A mix of Slenderman and Herobrine would be the ideal husband for me. >:)

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have fake conversations that might happen in the future...so ur prepared

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I never take drinks into smelly places, out of fear that the smell will somehow get into my drink and contaminate the taste.

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When I am in a bind and I know I need help I just say " I gott this" and things work out

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Sometimes I have something I want to do and then walk into the room to do it in and forget exactly what I was trying to do, it usually involves the kitchen so I just look in the refrigerator then leave and then remember what it is I wanted to do.

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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Have a big twitch, freak out when you are dosing off in class but suddenly wake up.

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A lot of times I believe things I see or things that happen are "signs" of something.

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Tryng to run away from, or at least be faster than my shadow.

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Complimenting a girl awkwardly,and then smiling stupidly later and thinking of alternate versions of the conversation that happened!!

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When you need something from someone and you forget what it's called,So then you have to awkwardly explain it.

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I mean Diana Ross.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.