- Things You Think Only You Do

cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

Think long and hard about something but then realise you don't care

Guessing on those annoying Captcha things and then getting unnecessarily angry when it tells you you're wrong.

Mares really turn me on, so I download "bad stuff" Ironically though, I worked at a farm last summer and realized there is nothing more disgusting than reality. Still mares turn me on... If on video.

Wake up after a dream. About a day later you think about if it was real or not.

shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

I chuckle whenever I hear the phase "Stark raving mad." I don't know why.

I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

Feel like something is behind you/watching you, run to your room super quickly and get into the room before that something gets you

When home alone and you hear a noise getting out a gun/weapon.

acting as if you can shoot with a banana

When a passneger in the car, I sing songs in my head and hope the song is in time with the signs and streetlights as I drive past them.

Walking around on the streets wondering if you are really walking in place, and the earth is spinning according to how you walk, like a treadmill.

Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

Peel my mandarin oranges in one try

use tweezers to pull out leg hair or armpit hair out of sheer boredom.

I make sims of everyone I know and make them have kids together.

Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

When A situation Doesn't go how I wanted it to go, It annoys me so much I sometimes shit in my hands and clap.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.