I have seen a UFO

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <<

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The power to put a pointless super power on thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com

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when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

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Sometimes if I am by myself at the house or in the car I will act completely insane and absurd. This usually involves me screaming incoherent babble, whole body twitching, making absurd faces and doing this thing where I bite my tongue and shake my head violently. If any normal person saw me they would either think I am having a seizure or currently possessed by Satan.

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When you can feel yourself blushing so you pretend to be preoccupied with something else.

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Make jokes about yourself on the period: "dear god, this is the 5th day I`m bleeding and I`m sill not dead. What kind of monster am I?" ...not funny... :)

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If I'm trying to read a clock or bulletin from far away, I instinctively stand and point at it.

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I can't piss with my shoes on.

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Courtesy flush.

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Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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When I get the chance, I always nick a chip from my mum's or dad's dinner.

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OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

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Normally I can do a specific task no problem but when someone is watching and I know that they are watching I screw up.

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I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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I feel that there is something sinister going on in government

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If i've been thinking about a particular person a lot, afterwards if people are telling a story or describing a scenario, I always picture the person I was thinking of before as the person as the main character in their story/scenario.

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Boinked my neighbor

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When you don't have enough money for something, you just take a tiny bit of money from your siblings and parents room at a time so they don't notice any different

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WHEN I SHOW YOU A PICTURE ON MY PHONE..DON’T SWIPE LEFT.DON’T SWIPE RIGHT.JUST LOOK. Via: Collection of Love WhatsApp Status

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Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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When I was little I used to cover myself all the way up and put pillows around me, then ask my sister if she could see me, trying to be invisible when I sleep just in case someone breaks into my house at night.

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I was the real Stig...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.