Look to the right, and see nothing. Look to the left, and see nothing. Look to the right again, and see the chick from the ring (or some scary shit) standing there.

Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

when you read a post that you don't do then start doing it

Whenever your going down a flight of stairs with two rails, hold the two rails and go from the top step to the bottom.

Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

Think about all of the germs that are on restroom doors and water taps.

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When im standing at a urinal and another guy was there before me and i still finish first i pretend like im still peeing so he wont think i have a bladder problem.

I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

Think your teacher is super hot and have a hard time concentrating in class . . . for the whole year.

When approaching a stoplight, I evaluate the vehicles in front of me to determine which ones I think will take off faster so I can get behind them.

Tried to suck ur own penis

My parents are annoying.

when you are at home doing something then all of a sudden you imagine how you would take down a killer if he came into your home right now. just me?

When you fart in class but try to cover it up by moving around so other people think it was just the chair squeaking.

I don't use my car air conditioning because I think it's wasteful and it might "run-out" when I'm REALLY, REALLY hot.

I think source beggars are lazy pest that should be groin kicked

I wear my boxers so I can poop through the pee hole

I lock the bathroom door even when I'm home alone.

When dunking oreos I like to hold it under the milk and watch the bubbles til they stop

Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

Mostly make fun of my best friends but never make fun of just regular friends

Getting secretly pissed off when people don't like your birthday post on their Facebook wall.

~When you turn around, somebody is already looking at you; something is probably on your face. (I know they look at you because you would look at anybody turning around, but I just hate it)

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.