At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

try to make myself sneeze because I like the feeling I get when I do

When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

Go to bed with my left nostril clogged, wake up with my right nostril clogged.

Get scared of the dark while in bed, so you make sure all limbs are tucked nice and tight under the covers. Once done, you now feel safe..

always get sports injuries, never get any attention from them

i absolutely hate the number nine, and when i told my brother this i was like "sometimes i wish i could delete the number 9" and hes like "but then youd have 9 numbers" and i was like..... "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

I wonder if elections are rigged?

turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

only read the short jokes on this website

After reading something from this site, I find myself compelled to try it.

When in class , I move alot in my chair when my butt itches .

While talking on the phone you can't think of anything to say then it gets awkwardly quiet

fap

Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

Picking my nose.

I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

I have autofocus in my eyes.

When you're scared of the bathroom and you close your eyes you quickly look around to check if there's a monster or something in the mirror

I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.