pull out a flies wings and let it go

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When im alone in my car i talk to myself about lifes issues

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Tip my couch over to dig for something I have lost and then end up finding a bunch of random crap.

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Put the towel near the shower so that you can stand on it and not get the floor wet

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When you start wondering if you're in a dream and suddenly feel trapped

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Imagine flying things and epic battles when listening to music.

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if your listening to music, move the volume up and down to experience the bass a lil better

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I don't use my car air conditioning because I think it's wasteful and it might "run-out" when I'm REALLY, REALLY hot.

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I still hum songs that I made up when I was a little kid

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Sometime when I'm alone, I like to fill my bathtub with marinara sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.

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Think of the most awkward or dreadful thing you could possibly do in any given situation and be almost compelled to do it but then realising that you could never show your face anywhere ever again if you did.

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Click an invisible pen I think is in my hand but is not constantly everyday.

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eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

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Tell myself that I'm only going for a 20 minute nap and end up sleeping for 1/+ hour(s)...

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fap

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I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

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Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

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Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

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Pretending I'm on my cellphone in public.

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Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

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I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

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If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.