Feel like something is behind you/watching you, run to your room super quickly and get into the room before that something gets you

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turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

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only read the short jokes on this website

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When in class , I move alot in my chair when my butt itches .

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While talking on the phone you can't think of anything to say then it gets awkwardly quiet

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

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fap

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OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

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Picking my nose.

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I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

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When you're scared of the bathroom and you close your eyes you quickly look around to check if there's a monster or something in the mirror

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I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

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when listening to pandora just skip through the songs and hit the like or hate buttons and not listen to the music,but then when you want to listen to the music you can't because theres no wifi

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Become self-conscious and wonder if you were making faces while day dreaming during the middle of class.

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masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

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Feel bad about hurting someone a long time ago, when I was a child, and wish I could speak to that person and say "I'm sorry." Cringe whenever the thought of the incident rises.

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

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Constantly refresh your email page even though you know nothing will appear.

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I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

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when i wake up from a dream and it was an amazing dream. then i try to fall back asleep to have it again...it doesn't work

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always get sports injuries, never get any attention from them

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.