always get sports injuries, never get any attention from them

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I don't care about who a celebrity dates or marries. Why should I?

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thinking "what if people can read my mind" then cant stop thinking dirty things about people around me

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Emmy Jackson Y U ALWAYS ANGRY WHEN SOMEONE SAY HI

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Taking your headphones/earbuds off a lot to see if your music is playing loudly. Or to see if other people could possibly hear it

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Get turned on when you see a girl yawn

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(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

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While talking on the phone you can't think of anything to say then it gets awkwardly quiet

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When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

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Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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Laying in bed at a friends place with your eyes closed imaging where you would end up if you got up and went to the toilet as if it was your own house.

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I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

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I have a phobia of incest

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Lightly touching your stomach or other body parts with your fingers to get that tickling sensation.

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Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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When you lie in bed and imagine scenarios that will never happen.

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I wonder what it wonder be like to have a really tall girlfriend?

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I can't step on the cracks of sidewalks.

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When you look at the sidewalk and try to step on the boxes instead of the lines, and feel like you need to do it a number of times per leg to make it even.

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right click refresh on desktop. Repeat

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.