Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

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.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

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masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

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My brother (who is 2 years younger) and I have our own language, consisting of movie quotes and silly stuff we made up when we were little. We speak it with abandon when we're alone, and try as hard as we can to suppress it when we're with a friend. But sometimes some of it slips out, and the friend looks at us like he's the guy who isn't in on the joke; I always get the feeling he or she thinks the two of us are crazy. By the way, if you're the third person in company with two close siblings who are speaking their own secret language, don't ask them to explain or look at them like they're crazy. They're not nuts, and you won't understand, even if they try to explain. Just let it pass.

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make it a point of interest to know every word to a song that nobody likes. (i.e. call me maybe) >.>

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Watch a familiar movie, and then freak out when you see a suspensful part, only to later realize that there was no point in getting worked up since you already know what happens.

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When in shower, I turn the heat to max for a few minutes to warm up the whole bathroom.

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Never eat curry before school otherwise you will have a massive poo

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When watching TV shows, I always think about what I would have done differently if I was the character in that particular situation.

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Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

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Think that some minutes feel shorter than others

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My login password is INCORRECT so if I forget it my computer will say "your password is incorrect"

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Whenever I drop food on the floor I get my dog to come clean it for me

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You or someone you know has a secret crush/liking but the always shout it to the world. My sister does that.(It's why I ask)

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Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

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Guessing on those annoying Captcha things and then getting unnecessarily angry when it tells you you're wrong.

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Sometimes I turn on my bedroom fan at night just so i can use heavier blankets.

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Sometimes when I'm laughing really hard I awkwardly clap my hands.

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Opening the fridge door, then trying to accomplish pouring a drink, before the door seals itself forever leaving the cola to the mercy of the outside world.

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the power to regenerate your appendix

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Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

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Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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I think something is gonna get me at night when I walk out of my brothers roomso I look behind me and run and usually bump into a wall

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.