When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

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Everytime aplane is flying low you think it's going to crash right in front of your eyes

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Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

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I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

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Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

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While at the movies, grab and eat your popcorn with your tongue and pretend you are a lizard.

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Get somewhat worried about myself if I'm thumbed down on THIS SITE.

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

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When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

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I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

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when i wake up from a dream and it was an amazing dream. then i try to fall back asleep to have it again...it doesn't work

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Get scared of the dark while in bed, so you make sure all limbs are tucked nice and tight under the covers. Once done, you now feel safe..

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Go to bed with my left nostril clogged, wake up with my right nostril clogged.

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i absolutely hate the number nine, and when i told my brother this i was like "sometimes i wish i could delete the number 9" and hes like "but then youd have 9 numbers" and i was like..... "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

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I like to watch people and imagine different stories that could explain why they're doing whatever it is that their doing.

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I probably am the only one who does this but I climb on my cat's cat tree to see what it's like to be a cat o.o

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turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

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only read the short jokes on this website

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When in class , I move alot in my chair when my butt itches .

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After reading something from this site, I find myself compelled to try it.

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Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

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OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.