HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

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I prefer to go to the bathroom with the door open.

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After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

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You see someone do something cool and imagine doing it in front of all your friends

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I was not born in the country I am living in now

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing.

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I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

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When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

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I hit the frig after sex

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Have to have a certain light in the bathroom to poop. Also, nobody can be anywhere near me.

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always get sports injuries, never get any attention from them

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I DO wish I had the ability of the guy in the comment below me. Moral: Yeah I have to type moral down here, because its awesome and because whatever its awesome!

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How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

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I don't know why but I really wish I can ride a bike or drive a car through a shopping mall.

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I wonder if elections are rigged?

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Accidentally scratching a surface and then scratching it again with the tops of your fingernails to even it out.

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after seeing toy story, and watching that toys moved and talked to each other when the humans werent around, thinking that toys are really like that when you gone, and when you go back to you room, the toys rush back into their spots.

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Justin Beiber is a woman

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judge a spider on it's ability to hide from me and decide to let it survive if I consider it a clever hiding place, then get paranoid because the spider was smart.

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Try to figure out if some of the posts were written by the same person.

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The power to put a pointless super power on thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com

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I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said

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When you're chatting with a friend while you're walking around and not really paying attention then you turn around to took at your friend and you realise you've been talking to someone you don't even know the entire time.

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Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.