I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

I have to stop the Microwave on 0 but before it beeps or I'm not going to get what I want in life. OCD MUCH

Not eat French fries because I don't like the taste rather than because they are unhealthy?

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in the morning when you wake up and take a shower you make weird faces to stretch out and "warm up" your face for the day

Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

i masturbate with my feet

When looking at a digital clock that counts down to seconds, I wait until the seconds are an even number, then I try to say each number in order twice before it changes.

I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

I have memorized my drivers license registration number

when you are at home doing something then all of a sudden you imagine how you would take down a killer if he came into your home right now. just me?

Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

When dunking oreos I like to hold it under the milk and watch the bubbles til they stop

Lightly touching your stomach or other body parts with your fingers to get that tickling sensation.

When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

I never take drinks into smelly places, out of fear that the smell will somehow get into my drink and contaminate the taste.

I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

When no one is home, I poop with the door open, just because I can.

Use my phone to see what time it is

TV turned on just so... Makes you not feeling alone or because some other unknown (or) irrational reason.And of course, feeling guilty cause you spending energy and money but still... Most of the time you just don't care.

Sometimes, for no real reason, I'll make strange or funny noises when no one is around.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.