when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

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Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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When you cringe as you walk out of a store because you're paranoid the door will beep...

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That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

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Do somthing only you do

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When watching TV shows, I always think about what I would have done differently if I was the character in that particular situation.

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1. When you're downstairs at night you go upstairs as fast as fucking possible. 2. When you switch volume in TV, the second number has to be 0 or 5.

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I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

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I get more creeped out the more I read the comments here, especially as the comments start getting really low thumbs ups.

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Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

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We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

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Can't stop tears from comeing to your eyes when singing

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Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

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I don't read the terms of service.

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Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

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when im alone i pretend to sniper zombies out my bedroom window

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I make sims of everyone I know and make them have kids together.

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When something funny happens think of it a couple days later than laugh,everyone then looks at me weirdly.

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Write b as d and d as b or p as q and q as p. I mostly write b as d and d as b since I've learned the alphabet. Trying not to do that now

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Tell myself that I'm only going for a 20 minute nap and end up sleeping for 1/+ hour(s)...

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I hold my breath in elevators

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.