Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

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Feel like something is behind you/watching you, run to your room super quickly and get into the room before that something gets you

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Fall down the stairs, bounce on your ass to the bottom, feel scared, then want to DO IT AGAIN! Get pwned at a game, rage, look at your cat sitting beside you, looking back, and say "What?"

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Write a word then wonder if it's spelt with an i or and e so just put them both in but do it in such a way that the person reading it won't know whether you didn't know the spelling or misspelled it then realized your mistake and tried to fix it.

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I have walked into a sliding glass door

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I lift my butt when I'm farting

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Start walking down a busy street or mall, and realise I've gone the wrong way. Suddenly stop and pretend to read something on my phone for a few seconds before turning round and walking the right way.

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Have a dream about somebody being mean to me. Proceed to be mean to them in real life.

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Cheak the fridge every 5 minuets waiting for food to just "magicly" appear

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I like to turn the lights off in the bathroom, actually block every little bit of light I possibly can, then take a nice warm shower, curl up on the floor, block my ears and enjoy the warm water and sensory deprivation.

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When I used to go on car rides at night I would look up at the moon and I would think it was following us.

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trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

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i get an headache when i each cheese. but i don't get one when i have pizza or cheese and onion crisps

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

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put your hands in your bra or pants to keep them warm when you're not in public.

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Pretending you're a badass character from an anime or movie when listening to rock music (or something similar)

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When dunking oreos I like to hold it under the milk and watch the bubbles til they stop

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I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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I always walk down the hall James Bond style. Gun out, along the wall, looking around corners before I walk into or by a room.

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Think something you shouldn't about someone, stop thinking about it in case they read your mind, and then, as an added precaution, think "I know you listening".

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i feel all weird and sad when i thing about my old belongings.

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That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.