I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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Run faster down hotel corridors.

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After going to the toilet to do a S#!* I will only sit on one cheek for the rest of the day until I bathe

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Lightly touching your stomach or other body parts with your fingers to get that tickling sensation.

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Become self-conscious and wonder if you were making faces while day dreaming during the middle of class.

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Sometimes I feel that my reflection in the mirror will stop doing what I'm doing and either jump out and grab me, start telling me about her reflected life, or give me a mission to free her from her mirror life.

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing.

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masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

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When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

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Realized with 7 billion people, there is a chance that someone else on earth is doing exactly the same thing as me at any given time.

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I doodle on everything I get that can be doodled on, even my exams :)

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Thinking that out there, on this earth in a lost city, there is an awesome clone of you.

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Sniff or tap to a rhythm to some sort of beat I composed in my head...

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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I know how to Gleek on command. (Don't know what it is just look it up.)

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Go to bed with my left nostril clogged, wake up with my right nostril clogged.

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Whenever I hear a baby or a young child scream very loud, I imagine that their head will explode.

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I scratch and sniff.

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I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

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Open my mouth while doing my mascara... it's impossible not to!!!

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Listening to my iPod with other people walking by me or sitting near me and feeling mysterious and cool.

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Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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Imagine flying things and epic battles when listening to music.

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Sometimes I blink and act like I am taking a picture with my eyes.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.