I wonder what it wonder be like to have a really tall girlfriend?

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When alone and listening to music I pretend that I am the artist and dance around the room like its the music video or I am on stage.

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You think about all the stupid things you did in elementary school and avoid anyone who went to your elementary school in high school.

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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When no one is home, I poop with the door open, just because I can.

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Stab myself on a daily basis

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When it's as quiet as possible in the classroom in the middle of the period and everyone is silently doing their work.... I suddenly think of something REALLY funny and spend the next half hour awkwardly grinning trying my hardest not to burst out uncontrollably.

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I mean Diana Ross.

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When I am making submissions to this site I sometimes accidentally put them in the comment section

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Change the channel when a Progressive commercial comes on because I can't STAND that stupid Flo girl.

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After peeling an apple, I will put the apple in a zip-lock and hold it through the plastic so my hands won't get sticky while I eat it.

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In the shower i let water run down my hands so it looks like i'm shooting water out of my fingers.

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We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

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Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

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Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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Count how many steps there are in a stairwell I use often and then try to take it by same number each time... Eg if there are 16 then always go by twos and missing the others!?!?!?

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i wonder why someone decided to spell words unusually for example why couldn't because be spelt becuz the way it sounds?!

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I talk to inanimate objects daily.

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Write b as d and d as b or p as q and q as p. I mostly write b as d and d as b since I've learned the alphabet. Trying not to do that now

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Every time you use a vending machine you hope you get lucky and 2 things drop down.

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You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

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Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.