Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

when im alone i pretend to sniper zombies out my bedroom window

Feel like something is behind you/watching you, run to your room super quickly and get into the room before that something gets you

Whenever you make cereal, you eat exactly where you make it like on the table.

Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

Check the lint filter on the dryer every time I walk into the laundry room.

only read the short jokes on this website

Pretending there is a man running beside you during a long car journey and jumping over obstacles

think up the funniest jokes right before i go to sleep and cant think of them the next day

Sometimes I would just be thinking to myself and then think of something funny and laugh but I don't share it with anyone else makes me look insane.

When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

Love to check my astrological compatibility with my favorite musicians.

skipping back to the start of the guitar solo over and over so I can pretend I'm playing it

touching something (like a crack in a wall) and then thinking to yourself that your the only person thats ever touched it..

Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

When I'm home alone, I start hearing random noises and think someone is breaking in.

Tryng to run away from, or at least be faster than my shadow.

When I'm making a weird face, I remind my self to stop before it gets stuck like that.

after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth

When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.