When the toilet paper falls to the floor, I quickly roll it again so nobody notices it.

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I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <<

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Think long and hard about something but then realise you don't care

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When I'm at home alone, I feel like people are watching me through my windows, so I act completely civil.

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

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try to only take one step on each sidewalk square.

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When two people in my house are arguing, I stay in my room to avoid awkwardly interrupting them and being dragged into it.

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When I wake up after having a good dream I try to remember it but I don't

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The only time I seem to look at the clock is when the numbers read my birth date.

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having cool friends, but all their other friends are nerds.

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Be a loner at school

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

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eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

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My daily agenda: wake up take a crap get out of bed...

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I have walked into a sliding glass door

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in the morning when you wake up and take a shower you make weird faces to stretch out and "warm up" your face for the day

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When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

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When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

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Dilikes the Gangnam Style.

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I always feel as if someone is always watching me on a screen where ever I am, and every person in the world is also being watched as well

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.