I have autofocus in my eyes.

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Left alone Big noise, people aren't expected back as soon so grab baseball bat and charge only to find them back early...."what you doing?" "batting my socks around practising my baseball skills"

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

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Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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When you cringe as you walk out of a store because you're paranoid the door will beep...

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I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

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When watching TV shows, I always think about what I would have done differently if I was the character in that particular situation.

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Do somthing only you do

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1. When you're downstairs at night you go upstairs as fast as fucking possible. 2. When you switch volume in TV, the second number has to be 0 or 5.

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I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

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I get more creeped out the more I read the comments here, especially as the comments start getting really low thumbs ups.

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Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

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We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

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Can't stop tears from comeing to your eyes when singing

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Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

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I don't read the terms of service.

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Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

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when im alone i pretend to sniper zombies out my bedroom window

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I make sims of everyone I know and make them have kids together.

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Write b as d and d as b or p as q and q as p. I mostly write b as d and d as b since I've learned the alphabet. Trying not to do that now

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When something funny happens think of it a couple days later than laugh,everyone then looks at me weirdly.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.