I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

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Think what would I be doing if I was someone else

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I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

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getting really nervous about random white vans that drive by you.

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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Have one of those days where you think it is just a dream but then reality takes over

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try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

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Cheak the fridge every 5 minuets waiting for food to just "magicly" appear

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read on youtube comments with too unlikes

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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when you read a post that you don't do then start doing it

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All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

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I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

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Watch peoples body language and see if they're on the same pace of thought as i am and then try to speed up my thinking to pretend or act like I am realizing something they are not.

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Never step on manholes, because I'm afraid to fall in.

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Constantly hearing your name in public and asking "did you just hear my name?"

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Think something you shouldn't about someone, stop thinking about it in case they read your mind, and then, as an added precaution, think "I know you listening".

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I wonder what it wonder be like to have a really tall girlfriend?

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Get scared of the dark while in bed, so you make sure all limbs are tucked nice and tight under the covers. Once done, you now feel safe..

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A lot of times I believe things I see or things that happen are "signs" of something.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <<

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Sometimes after a long, hard day or when something bad happens I just sit down and cry in the shower.

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cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.