When I was little I used to cover myself all the way up and put pillows around me, then ask my sister if she could see me, trying to be invisible when I sleep just in case someone breaks into my house at night.

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Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

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Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

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Pretending I'm on my cellphone in public.

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scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

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Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

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laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

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I have a phobia of incest

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I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

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The older I get the more honest I get

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Tells a joke only you thought was funny and still laughs then laughs harder because your the only one laughing nikki

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Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

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When no one is home, I poop with the door open, just because I can.

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Sometimes I have something I want to do and then walk into the room to do it in and forget exactly what I was trying to do, it usually involves the kitchen so I just look in the refrigerator then leave and then remember what it is I wanted to do.

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Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.

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I hit the frig after sex

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I sometime's wonder if other people can see and feel everything I can but are just in my body too judge me.

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I scratch and sniff.

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Think that some minutes feel shorter than others

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Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

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When i talk i say i like how or i hate that.

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Imagine flying things and epic battles when listening to music.

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When I am making submissions to this site I sometimes accidentally put them in the comment section

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.