Sometimes when I'm watching a sitcom, I get distracted from the jokes because the characters are in a bedroom and I start focusing on the awesome stuff they have.

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I don't read the terms of service.

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I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

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Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

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You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

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When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

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When I'm watching a movie I have already seen I hope for a different ending but soon realize it won't happen

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everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

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I lift my butt when I'm farting

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getting really nervous about random white vans that drive by you.

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Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

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Cheak the fridge every 5 minuets waiting for food to just "magicly" appear

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Write a word then wonder if it's spelt with an i or and e so just put them both in but do it in such a way that the person reading it won't know whether you didn't know the spelling or misspelled it then realized your mistake and tried to fix it.

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Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

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Use a signature that automatically gets me hundreds of red thumbs... Yeah that moral crap...

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Sorry I posted last comment 3 times. And it is best ever not beat ever.

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Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

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Walking into a room to do something, and then forgetting what you were gonna do.

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The older I get the more honest I get

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Constantly hearing your name in public and asking "did you just hear my name?"

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When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.