Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

When I'm watching a movie I have already seen I hope for a different ending but soon realize it won't happen

i get an headache when i each cheese. but i don't get one when i have pizza or cheese and onion crisps

try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

When looking at a digital clock that counts down to seconds, I wait until the seconds are an even number, then I try to say each number in order twice before it changes.

I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

Sitting down in the shower

Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

Believing in the kindness of strangers

When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

So has anyone else ever been in the middle of doing something and at the exact moment something happens and you sort of wonder if it happened because of what you did.

I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

When you have the " If I'm on an elevator and it breaks and is about to crash at the bottom, and I jump up before it does, will I live?" thought.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

Turn volume down on iPod or tv, then turn up one bar to make it seem like it's still loud.

when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

Scroll aimlessly through the posts on this website and for some reason, creepily stop and check the comments on the one that has the word "boobs" in it.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.