(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

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Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

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i masturbate with my feet

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Start walking down a busy street or mall, and realise I've gone the wrong way. Suddenly stop and pretend to read something on my phone for a few seconds before turning round and walking the right way.

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Imagin what would happen if there was a zombie invasion just at your house.

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Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

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Wipe my hands on a cold glass to clean my hands

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Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

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Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

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Sitting on a toilet in a public bathroom and staying silent until everyone leaves, so you do not feel the embarrassment

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when i wake up from a dream and it was an amazing dream. then i try to fall back asleep to have it again...it doesn't work

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When reading some of the weirder things here, I somewhat worry some of these things people do might start happening to me just because I read about them.

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Wipe the salt off your hand on your right pant leg after eating salty fries from fast food restaurants.

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Go to bed with my left nostril clogged, wake up with my right nostril clogged.

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I wonder what it wonder be like to have a really tall girlfriend?

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log out of any social network sites so that when im on a website it doesnt somehow send messages to my profile

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turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

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When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

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I randomly hold my boobs in my room.

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When i talk i say i like how or i hate that.

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Make sure I put the deodorant top back on the correct way -- you know, so the sticker is to the front.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.