When playing a game you refer to the kid you don't know as "kid" - ar2

Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

1. When you're downstairs at night you go upstairs as fast as fucking possible. 2. When you switch volume in TV, the second number has to be 0 or 5.

When I was a kid and I misbehaved when my dad used to smack me I would put emphasis in my cries to let him think that I got the lesson.

When buying anything - a book, pint of milk, food, pen - will go to put down the first one you picked up to find a newer one.... Then feel really bad for the other one you put down and go back to that one so it doesn't feel hurt.

Help my dogs eat their dinner....I think the whole time, "If they only had thumbs".....

I can only play a piano with my right hand

Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

brush the dandruff from my eyebrows

humiliating little girls

having cool friends, but all their other friends are nerds.

I have won so many competitions online for things like being the 99, 999th visitor on the site

Use reverse psychology on the rain to make it slow down or speed up.

Pretending there is a man running beside you during a long car journey and jumping over obstacles

I got 12 months free xbox live gold from this website http://freexboxlivegoldcodes.org .You can also get it.

only read the short jokes on this website

When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

I make weird crazy faces at myself in the mirror whenever I leave the bathroom.

expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

I was not born in the country I am living in now

Whenever I finish reading a book, I feel a great sense of achievement.

forget i left the light on somewhere in the house and when i see it on i think a ghost did it..

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.