- Things You Think Only You Do

after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said

Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

I sometimes chew on the inside of my cheek

When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

While talking on the phone you can't think of anything to say then it gets awkwardly quiet

When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

So has anyone else ever been in the middle of doing something and at the exact moment something happens and you sort of wonder if it happened because of what you did.

I ship Bolin and Korra as a romance and a bromance. Am I weird for doing this?

When I post a picture on a Horsehead Huffer site that I made on Microsoft Paint, and it ends up being one of those that never load, I go back on Paint and save it again. Then I repost it, and it works.

I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

Left alone Big noise, people aren't expected back as soon so grab baseball bat and charge only to find them back early...."what you doing?" "batting my socks around practising my baseball skills"

Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

I was not born in the country I am living in now

You see someone do something cool and imagine doing it in front of all your friends

scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

when listening to pandora just skip through the songs and hit the like or hate buttons and not listen to the music,but then when you want to listen to the music you can't because theres no wifi

I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.