Pretending I'm on my cellphone in public.

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Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

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scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

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Put my hands together the 'other' way

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I like to watch lava lamps heat up

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The older I get the more honest I get

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Tells a joke only you thought was funny and still laughs then laughs harder because your the only one laughing nikki

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Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing.

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feel like your calculator is judging/making fun of you for looking up simple equations

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A mix of Slenderman and Herobrine would be the ideal husband for me. >:)

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right after I turn the shower off I jump up and down to get rid of the extra water all over me...

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I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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Realized with 7 billion people, there is a chance that someone else on earth is doing exactly the same thing as me at any given time.

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That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

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have fake conversations that might happen in the future...so ur prepared

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Thinking that out there, on this earth in a lost city, there is an awesome clone of you.

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I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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Have to have a certain light in the bathroom to poop. Also, nobody can be anywhere near me.

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I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

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Think that some minutes feel shorter than others

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Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.

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You always go to the corner of the shower when the cold water is running.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.