I DO wish I had the ability of the guy in the comment below me. Moral: Yeah I have to type moral down here, because its awesome and because whatever its awesome!

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taking your t shirt or sweatshirt off quickly so nothing gets you while its over your face

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When i talk i say i like how or i hate that.

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Whenever you make cereal, you eat exactly where you make it like on the table.

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Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

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Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually in a coma and that everything is just a dream and my parents are standing over me watching me and wishing their daughter was awake

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blink

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When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

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Cheak the fridge every 5 minuets waiting for food to just "magicly" appear

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When I used to go on car rides at night I would look up at the moon and I would think it was following us.

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i get an headache when i each cheese. but i don't get one when i have pizza or cheese and onion crisps

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

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Turn volume down on iPod or tv, then turn up one bar to make it seem like it's still loud.

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You pretend to fight imaginary people while no ones looking:/ But you look like the star wars kid...

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realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

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I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

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Think something you shouldn't about someone, stop thinking about it in case they read your mind, and then, as an added precaution, think "I know you listening".

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That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

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Refreshing captcha codes for five minutes straight until you find reasonably legible letters.

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Feels my beard with my tongue.

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I love the We'll Be Right Back jingle on the Eric Andre show.

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eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.