I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

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Realized with 7 billion people, there is a chance that someone else on earth is doing exactly the same thing as me at any given time.

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have fake conversations that might happen in the future...so ur prepared

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Thinking that out there, on this earth in a lost city, there is an awesome clone of you.

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

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Have to have a certain light in the bathroom to poop. Also, nobody can be anywhere near me.

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I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

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Think that some minutes feel shorter than others

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Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.

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Pull your headphones away from your ear when you're listening to music to see if it's too loud.

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You always go to the corner of the shower when the cold water is running.

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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I am a masculine guy but in private I listen to very sensitive songs. ie: careless wispers

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right click refresh on desktop. Repeat

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play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

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I randomly hold my boobs in my room.

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cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

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Listening to my iPod with other people walking by me or sitting near me and feeling mysterious and cool.

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When someone close to me sadly passes on and later when I am listening to the radio if I hear a song that sounds suitable to that moment I kind of make that our song if that makes sense to any of you

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when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

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I cover the mirror on my bedroom door with a sheet at night, because I think the shadows casted in the mirror are gonna get me.

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Whenever someone enters a pin number I always try to see how many number I can remember

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.