Thinking about a situation someone else in the world might be in. For example, Someone dying and the pain they must be going through.

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Thinking about life as if its just a dream and wondeing if one day your just going to wake up and be like " wtf just happend".....

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i get an headache when i each cheese. but i don't get one when i have pizza or cheese and onion crisps

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

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Whenever I think of something creative or weird, I always wonder if someone thought of the same thing.

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Love to check my astrological compatibility with my favorite musicians.

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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You pretend to fight imaginary people while no ones looking:/ But you look like the star wars kid...

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realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

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Sing every word to Bohemian Rhapsody every time you hear it in the most dramatic way possible.

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

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masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

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Think something you shouldn't about someone, stop thinking about it in case they read your mind, and then, as an added precaution, think "I know you listening".

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Keep trying to defend your point even after you've realized you're wrong in an argument

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thinking that everybody in the world (except me) has a device which shows them what i am doing, watching and makes them feel what i am feeling

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Open my mouth while doing my mascara... it's impossible not to!!!

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Whenever I hear a baby or a young child scream very loud, I imagine that their head will explode.

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When my girlfriend ask me what I am thinking about, I tell her I am thinking of all the great things about my last girlfriend.

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Refreshing captcha codes for five minutes straight until you find reasonably legible letters.

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Feels my beard with my tongue.

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Whenever you make cereal, you eat exactly where you make it like on the table.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.