when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

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standing at the mall with your group talking, you all decide to start walking to a store, start to follow but half the group stays behind for a few seconds then they start walking, walk a slower pace only to find out that you're in the middle of your split groups e.g. 3 in front 4 behind...dont know which one to merge to......wait for your group to collaborate back together.

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Dilikes the Gangnam Style.

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putting your hand in the water in the back of the toilet and thinking its gross toilet water and get grossed out

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I always walk down the hall James Bond style. Gun out, along the wall, looking around corners before I walk into or by a room.

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I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

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Do somthing only you do

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Whenever i do something bad to someone I can't stop smiling even though i never wanted to smile in the first place and i feel like people think I'm a terrible person

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Get bored of regular porn and watch some bestiality just for the variation.

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Open my mouth while doing my mascara... it's impossible not to!!!

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Refreshing captcha codes for five minutes straight until you find reasonably legible letters.

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sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

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Multi task while your brushing your teeth and forget you have a tooth brush in your mouth.

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When walking around a slightly empty store, I walk around and pretend I'm a spy, trying not to be seen.

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Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

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having cool friends, but all their other friends are nerds.

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When two people in my house are arguing, I stay in my room to avoid awkwardly interrupting them and being dragged into it.

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Sometimes I turn on my bedroom fan at night just so i can use heavier blankets.

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I used to peep when my relatives are watching porn, back when i was a kid. After that, i feel like i wanna pee.

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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You tell your friends that you hate the Rick roll'd song even though you secretly like it.

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When I wake up after having a good dream I try to remember it but I don't

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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Think what would I be doing if I was someone else

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.