I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

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carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

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Inspect the shower, bath or toilet, then washing it until you believe it is suitable to use.

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Say "Up and Down" for "Left or Right"

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Make calculations with house number. Eg: House nº 112 means house nº 4

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YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

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Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

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When you don't have enough money for something, you just take a tiny bit of money from your siblings and parents room at a time so they don't notice any different

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I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Scroll aimlessly through the posts on this website and for some reason, creepily stop and check the comments on the one that has the word "boobs" in it.

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Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

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Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

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Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

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Make up a song to yourself.

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When you like your own comment or status', but then you feel kind of pathetic for doing it so you unlike it.

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When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

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Run faster down hotel corridors.

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If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

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eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

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Become self-conscious and wonder if you were making faces while day dreaming during the middle of class.

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Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.