Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

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Wipe the salt off your hand on your right pant leg after eating salty fries from fast food restaurants.

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Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

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Whenever i do something bad to someone I can't stop smiling even though i never wanted to smile in the first place and i feel like people think I'm a terrible person

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When I use the bathroom at school, I keep the door open with the kickstand and use the stall. It's because I fear that one day, when I'm all alone in the bathroom with the door closed, the fire alarm will go off and scare the living crap out of me. This trick backfires when someone comes in without closing the door and uses the urinal.

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Make sure I put the deodorant top back on the correct way -- you know, so the sticker is to the front.

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Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

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When you need something from someone and you forget what it's called,So then you have to awkwardly explain it.

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I have a feeling that life is a Video Game for another Universe. When the player looks at their computer screen, they see what I see. They control everything I do. Like The Sims games. Everyone else is either other players in a multiplayer server, or they are are all fake, computer players.

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When playing a game you refer to the kid you don't know as "kid" - ar2

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Try to time the traffic light so that when I snap, my light turns green. Always so so close.

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Listening to romantic hollywood sad core and feeling depressed because your single.

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I can only play a piano with my right hand

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Mares really turn me on, so I download "bad stuff" Ironically though, I worked at a farm last summer and realized there is nothing more disgusting than reality. Still mares turn me on... If on video.

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Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

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Sometimes at a red light, I like to look at the person driving next to me and if they look towards me I quickly turn around and pretend I wasn't looking at them.

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Feel the bed gets more comfortable the longer you put off getting into bed.

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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At any time of day, when i'm not busy, someone you know pops into your head and you start talking to them telepathically, but not for long, then you realise that youre just plain crazy? anyone?

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I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

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You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

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I sometimes chew on the inside of my cheek

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Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

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I got 12 months free xbox live gold from this website http://freexboxlivegoldcodes.org .You can also get it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.