I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

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I hate being called "buddy".

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It's hot but I still have on covers

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When I used to go on car rides at night I would look up at the moon and I would think it was following us.

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Only taking half a biscuit because it makes you feel bad and then taking another half of a different biscuit.

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getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

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Turn volume down on iPod or tv, then turn up one bar to make it seem like it's still loud.

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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I doodle on everything I get that can be doodled on, even my exams :)

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thinking "what if people can read my mind" then cant stop thinking dirty things about people around me

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When you need something from someone and you forget what it's called,So then you have to awkwardly explain it.

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taking your t shirt or sweatshirt off quickly so nothing gets you while its over your face

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I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

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Sometimes I turn on my bedroom fan at night just so i can use heavier blankets.

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Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

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When I'm home alone at night I check around the corners to make sure there isn't anyone there

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Check the lint filter on the dryer every time I walk into the laundry room.

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blink

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When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

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When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.