When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

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When passed by a very attractive girl in the street, turn around and look after her and/or follow her to the next street corner, in order to grasp more of her beauty.

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Start walking down a busy street or mall, and realise I've gone the wrong way. Suddenly stop and pretend to read something on my phone for a few seconds before turning round and walking the right way.

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I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

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I play out romantic scenarios with myself when I'm alone. We're talking full-blown just straight up talking out loud- to myself, of course. It's not that I'm lonely or anything since I did this when I had a boyfriend anyway (just to clarify, it didn't end because of this XD.) I really just feel like doing it because it's really friggin' entertaining. If you've never done it, well... it's basically like being in a really crappy, low budget soap opera, with a plot that doesn't make any damn sense, staring you as every character and the audience. That's basically the only way I could describe it lol.

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Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

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I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

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Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

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Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

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I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

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Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

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when listening to pandora just skip through the songs and hit the like or hate buttons and not listen to the music,but then when you want to listen to the music you can't because theres no wifi

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I like to watch lava lamps heat up

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Tells a joke only you thought was funny and still laughs then laughs harder because your the only one laughing nikki

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.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

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While at the movies, grab and eat your popcorn with your tongue and pretend you are a lizard.

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sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

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A mix of Slenderman and Herobrine would be the ideal husband for me. >:)

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Read things from this page and think to self: "Thank God, I thought I was the only one."

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I never take drinks into smelly places, out of fear that the smell will somehow get into my drink and contaminate the taste.

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have fake conversations that might happen in the future...so ur prepared

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try to make myself sneeze because I like the feeling I get when I do

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.