Sometimes cringe at the sound when other people scratch themselves

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pull out a flies wings and let it go

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wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

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Pretending there is a man running beside you during a long car journey and jumping over obstacles

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make south park refferences every day

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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Get soo scared in the shower when your home alone that you are scared to open the curtain just incase somebody is out tthere

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Write a word then wonder if it's spelt with an i or and e so just put them both in but do it in such a way that the person reading it won't know whether you didn't know the spelling or misspelled it then realized your mistake and tried to fix it.

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while you put your t-shirt on, you get frightened that someone's watching you behind your shirt so you try to put it on as soon as possible.

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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Whenever I finish reading a book, I feel a great sense of achievement.

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(okay maybe not a thing I do but something I noticed) When people call themselves "Writers" In today's world you know that might not be the case because we have computers so shouldn't they be called typers?

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I hate when my mom hangs my underwear on the clothesline outside.

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Pretending you're a badass character from an anime or movie when listening to rock music (or something similar)

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When someone wants to kill a bug, I'll get insane and catch the bug, then run out and release the bug while saying "NOW YOU'RE FREE!!!!!"

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I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

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Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

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Never step on manholes, because I'm afraid to fall in.

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I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

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Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

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When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

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skipping back to the start of the guitar solo over and over so I can pretend I'm playing it

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Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.