i leave tv on when i sleep...cant close it cause i hate to hear....noices...in my bedroom that cant identify......

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Whe someone buys you a gift and you think they have installed a camera into it or can somehow mentally see you when that gift is near you. Resulting in you acting strange around that it or when you are present in the same room as that gift

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When you need something from someone and you forget what it's called,So then you have to awkwardly explain it.

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while I am sitting on the toilet I play with it and waste the toilet paper and of course i just keep flushing it

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Opening the fridge door, then trying to accomplish pouring a drink, before the door seals itself forever leaving the cola to the mercy of the outside world.

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I'm not bad looking and I don't fall into the beautiful category either but I really feel good about the way I look

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I cover the mirror on my bedroom door with a sheet at night, because I think the shadows casted in the mirror are gonna get me.

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get some of the lyrics to a song wrong. you know theyre wrong, but continue to sing the wrong words anyway, because the real words just don't seem to fit.

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I don't use my car air conditioning because I think it's wasteful and it might "run-out" when I'm REALLY, REALLY hot.

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I hold my breath in elevators

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Accidentally scratching a surface and then scratching it again with the tops of your fingernails to even it out.

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sometimes I can be really tired but when I go to bed I lie there for hours awake

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Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

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Stop at the beginning of an escalator, and let the stairs drag you forward by just your toes.

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When a book is boring, i will think of my favouite song and then i will start singing the book, like i will look at the words and ligit, start singing them in my favourite tune~im so weird

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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I flush the toilet if the water's green and I'm going to have a poo, so it doesn't splash me.

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eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

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judge a spider on it's ability to hide from me and decide to let it survive if I consider it a clever hiding place, then get paranoid because the spider was smart.

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I lift my butt when I'm farting

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

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When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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doesn't eat meal until desired tv show starts.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.