when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth

When in shower, I turn the heat to max for a few minutes to warm up the whole bathroom.

Make sure I put the deodorant top back on the correct way -- you know, so the sticker is to the front.

Listening to a song, thinking about having the life of the singer in the band

I find it easiest to read or study while sitting on the toilet.

Think long and hard about something but then realise you don't care

When playing a game you refer to the kid you don't know as "kid" - ar2

1. When you're downstairs at night you go upstairs as fast as fucking possible. 2. When you switch volume in TV, the second number has to be 0 or 5.

When buying anything - a book, pint of milk, food, pen - will go to put down the first one you picked up to find a newer one.... Then feel really bad for the other one you put down and go back to that one so it doesn't feel hurt.

I can only play a piano with my right hand

I think some songs would be better if they didn't put a rap in with them

Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

humiliating little girls

I drive in the car then suddenly awake from a day dream and realize ive driven for the last 4 miles with no recollection of the journey.

I have won so many competitions online for things like being the 99, 999th visitor on the site

Use reverse psychology on the rain to make it slow down or speed up.

Turn shower water all the way up hot before getting out because it feels good

Not eat French fries because I don't like the taste rather than because they are unhealthy?

Hide important things in places at home but forget later where you hid them.

I got 12 months free xbox live gold from this website http://freexboxlivegoldcodes.org .You can also get it.

Pretending there is a man running beside you during a long car journey and jumping over obstacles

only read the short jokes on this website

When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.