When no one is home, I poop with the door open, just because I can.

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Half of these posts are all but "things you think only you do". So is mine

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Listening to a song, thinking about having the life of the singer in the band

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Whenever I drop food on the floor I get my dog to come clean it for me

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Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

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put wood glue on my hand, blow it dry and peel it off to make fake skin

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Open my mouth while doing my mascara... it's impossible not to!!!

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Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

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In the shower i let water run down my hands so it looks like i'm shooting water out of my fingers.

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Mares really turn me on, so I download "bad stuff" Ironically though, I worked at a farm last summer and realized there is nothing more disgusting than reality. Still mares turn me on... If on video.

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Can't stop tears from comeing to your eyes when singing

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When at someone else's house, trying to use the bathroom, keep a very close eye on the door just to make sure nobody's gonna walk in on you...

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I don't read the terms of service.

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Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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Have a sudden urge to say "bomb" at an airport.

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I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

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I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

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When something funny happens think of it a couple days later than laugh,everyone then looks at me weirdly.

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listen to madonnas new album

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I Think people can read my mind....."if you can read my mind nod your head or don't if you don't want me to know that you can" It doesn't work either way but yeah thats just me lol

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If I see the same model of vehicle as mine in a parking lot, I get overly excited if I manage to get a parking spot next to it. Extra points for same color or type (i.e. quad cab vs regular cab).

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Tell myself that I'm only going for a 20 minute nap and end up sleeping for 1/+ hour(s)...

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Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.