Drink out the carton (your whole family prob does it)

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I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

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Think that the person driving keeps staring at me when ever they look in the mirror and I'm sat in the back.

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Do somthing only you do

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When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

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When I use the bathroom at school, I keep the door open with the kickstand and use the stall. It's because I fear that one day, when I'm all alone in the bathroom with the door closed, the fire alarm will go off and scare the living crap out of me. This trick backfires when someone comes in without closing the door and uses the urinal.

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Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

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When walking around a slightly empty store, I walk around and pretend I'm a spy, trying not to be seen.

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Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

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When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

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sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

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Help my dogs eat their dinner....I think the whole time, "If they only had thumbs".....

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sitting in the passenger seat of the car, move my head around gently to guide a piece of dirt on the window in the foreground around the obstacle course of trees, streetlights etc in the background. Also, imagine my eyes are projecting lasers which cut through anything and carve the passing world up to my design.

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I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

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When I have my headphones in, and I'm miming the words to a song in the bathroom pretending that I'm playing a gig. I put the tap on to make sure no one hears me dancing.

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I never feel bored

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Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

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When I'm home alone at night I check around the corners to make sure there isn't anyone there

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Taking your headphones/earbuds off a lot to see if your music is playing loudly. Or to see if other people could possibly hear it

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blink

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Drink alcohol out of styrofoam soda cups on the bus and train.

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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when your doing something or going somewhere you think didn't I already do this, like your back in time.

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I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.