get a new *to you* car, and suddenly every other car on the road is the same make/ model..... hey look! an outback!

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When I meet someone random, and have a small conversation, and then when they leave, I feel sad because I think I am never going to see them again.

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RE:" pee on the side of the toilet" you dont pee on the side of the toilet so it isn't loud. you pee on the side so it doesn't splash on you're legs as much.

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i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

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If my SOLVE media is too long I refresh it to give me a shorter one

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I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

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(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

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only read the short jokes on this website

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While talking on the phone you can't think of anything to say then it gets awkwardly quiet

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I sometimes chew on the inside of my cheek

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Turn the door knob while closing the door ...so it doesn't make a loud noise.

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I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

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Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

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Being fat

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when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

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Sitting down in the shower

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Make calculations with house number. Eg: House nº 112 means house nº 4

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Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

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When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

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I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

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Walk down the street, listening to a song, singing it softly, then thinking 'I might wanna stop doing that before I look awkward', but the wires get crossed and you start singing LOUDER and so on.

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Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.