When my girlfriend ask me what I am thinking about, I tell her I am thinking of all the great things about my last girlfriend.

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Refreshing captcha codes for five minutes straight until you find reasonably legible letters.

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When standing in long lines (stores, banks etc..) I think about how other people would react if I puked all over the place with no warning.

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I push the door open with my stomach

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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When I was a kid and I misbehaved when my dad used to smack me I would put emphasis in my cries to let him think that I got the lesson.

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Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

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Turn off light in bed... notice something you haven't seen before. IT'S SLENDERMAN You turn the light back on and realized it was a lamp

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Feel like something is behind you/watching you, run to your room super quickly and get into the room before that something gets you

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sometimes I can be really tired but when I go to bed I lie there for hours awake

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After reading something from this site, I find myself compelled to try it.

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Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

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as soon as i put some mint gum in my mouth, i sneeze countless times.

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When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

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Cheak the fridge every 5 minuets waiting for food to just "magicly" appear

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watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

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Get soo scared in the shower when your home alone that you are scared to open the curtain just incase somebody is out tthere

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I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

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getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

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Go for a 10 mile run.

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check to see if post has any likes right after posting it. then have second thoughts about it.

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When your talking to a hot girl and then picture her naked with you in bed but then stop thinking about that because you think she can read your mind

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.