When you like your own comment or status', but then you feel kind of pathetic for doing it so you unlike it.

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realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

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Being able to think about great ideas for the world, but not being able to get a math problem done.

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skipping back to the start of the guitar solo over and over so I can pretend I'm playing it

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Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

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touching something (like a crack in a wall) and then thinking to yourself that your the only person thats ever touched it..

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I would try to make my pencil shavings as long as possible.

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Think that my ice tastes different than my water.

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When I use the bathroom at school, I keep the door open with the kickstand and use the stall. It's because I fear that one day, when I'm all alone in the bathroom with the door closed, the fire alarm will go off and scare the living crap out of me. This trick backfires when someone comes in without closing the door and uses the urinal.

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Whenever I hear a baby or a young child scream very loud, I imagine that their head will explode.

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When my girlfriend ask me what I am thinking about, I tell her I am thinking of all the great things about my last girlfriend.

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Feels my beard with my tongue.

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taking your t shirt or sweatshirt off quickly so nothing gets you while its over your face

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I have to keep reading website pages until I reached 5, 10, 15 etc. When I get close to my age though, I can finish there.

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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Drink alcohol out of styrofoam soda cups on the bus and train.

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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blink

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When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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Kill Jb without getting aressted.

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I eat something and read book/newspaper/magazine at the same time. Then i take food crumbs off the book and eat them too.

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Get soo scared in the shower when your home alone that you are scared to open the curtain just incase somebody is out tthere

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.