Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

I like to turn the lights off in the bathroom, actually block every little bit of light I possibly can, then take a nice warm shower, curl up on the floor, block my ears and enjoy the warm water and sensory deprivation.

I was not born in the country I am living in now

I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

I doodle on everything I get that can be doodled on, even my exams :)

Leave the fan on at night just in case you feel to warm.

Hate people who don't dress like you because they're not fashionable. Hate people who do dress like you because they threaten your individuality.

Stab myself on a daily basis

Drink out the carton (your whole family prob does it)

Use my phone to see what time it is

I pee on the bathroom sink everytime, because I am lazy to open the toilet, even when I visit other people, sorry friends and family =)

like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

When I'm at home alone, I feel like people are watching me through my windows, so I act completely civil.

Try to time the traffic light so that when I snap, my light turns green. Always so so close.

When I meet someone random, and have a small conversation, and then when they leave, I feel sad because I think I am never going to see them again.

Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

Click an invisible pen I think is in my hand but is not constantly everyday.

Find that the kettle has recently been used and still contains hot water so decide to have a cup of tea just so that boiling that water wasn't a waste. Think that it might have cooled down by now. Reboil the water.

Picking your dogs booger for him/her

Sometimes when I'm watching a sitcom, I get distracted from the jokes because the characters are in a bedroom and I start focusing on the awesome stuff they have.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.