My bedroom is at the end of the house, so when I turn the light out and sprint to the lounge room, thinking Jeff the Killer could get me...

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Sometimes at a red light, I like to look at the person driving next to me and if they look towards me I quickly turn around and pretend I wasn't looking at them.

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sitting in the passenger seat of the car, move my head around gently to guide a piece of dirt on the window in the foreground around the obstacle course of trees, streetlights etc in the background. Also, imagine my eyes are projecting lasers which cut through anything and carve the passing world up to my design.

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Keep things on my body equal. ex. Hold something in my right hand so I hold something equally heavy in my left hand.

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I never feel bored

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I randomly hold my boobs in my room.

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when i watch a movie, and a character in it gos underwater, i hold my breath with that person until that person gets above water, then i let go, either that, after the character comes up from the water, i still hold my breath until i cant take it anymore.

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If I'm walking with or behind someone I always match their footsteps

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I see something glittery, someone tells me not to pick it up because I'll glitter all over myself, I pick it up anyway and glitter all over myself.

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Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

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Emmy Jackson Y U ALWAYS ANGRY WHEN SOMEONE SAY HI

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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When I'm drinking something, I slosh the glass back and forth a long with my head to try and get what I'm drinking into my mouth.

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Fall down the stairs, bounce on your ass to the bottom, feel scared, then want to DO IT AGAIN! Get pwned at a game, rage, look at your cat sitting beside you, looking back, and say "What?"

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when you read a post that you don't do then start doing it

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Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

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I think about other women when having sex

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I hate being called "buddy".

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Start walking down a busy street or mall, and realise I've gone the wrong way. Suddenly stop and pretend to read something on my phone for a few seconds before turning round and walking the right way.

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Eating chicken at KFC.

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Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

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I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

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I think Frozen is an overrated film

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.