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My daily agenda: wake up take a crap get out of bed...

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When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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Kill Jb without getting aressted.

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When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

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I eat something and read book/newspaper/magazine at the same time. Then i take food crumbs off the book and eat them too.

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I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

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getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

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Rubbing your scalp and watching your dandruff fall like snowflakes

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put your hands in your bra or pants to keep them warm when you're not in public.

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Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.

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A lot of times I believe things I see or things that happen are "signs" of something.

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While I Am on the computer late at night, my Mum tells me to go to bed, I say I will in a second. I stay for a few more minutes, my mum tells me again, I do the same thing...

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When walking around a slightly empty store, I walk around and pretend I'm a spy, trying not to be seen.

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acting as if you can shoot with a banana

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When I wake up after having a good dream I try to remember it but I don't

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Add numbers on license plates of cars around me while waiting at a light.

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Point your finger to the sky when your favorite song comes on in the club or the radio

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When I used to go on car rides at night I would look up at the moon and I would think it was following us.

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i get an headache when i each cheese. but i don't get one when i have pizza or cheese and onion crisps

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Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.