I know how to Gleek on command. (Don't know what it is just look it up.)

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Drink out the carton (your whole family prob does it)

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Use my phone to see what time it is

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Think that some minutes feel shorter than others

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I pee on the bathroom sink everytime, because I am lazy to open the toilet, even when I visit other people, sorry friends and family =)

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

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When I'm at home alone, I feel like people are watching me through my windows, so I act completely civil.

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Try to time the traffic light so that when I snap, my light turns green. Always so so close.

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Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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When I meet someone random, and have a small conversation, and then when they leave, I feel sad because I think I am never going to see them again.

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Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

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Click an invisible pen I think is in my hand but is not constantly everyday.

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Find that the kettle has recently been used and still contains hot water so decide to have a cup of tea just so that boiling that water wasn't a waste. Think that it might have cooled down by now. Reboil the water.

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Picking your dogs booger for him/her

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Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

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When ever i watch a movie with my parents i hope to god there is no nudity or awkward sex talk

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I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

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I don't read the terms of service.

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not eating the ends of a hotdog.

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Paranoid someone is reading your mind, so you think something weird to see if they look at you

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Play with my own boobs for no reason

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Not eat French fries because I don't like the taste rather than because they are unhealthy?

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I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.