I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

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Make calculations with house number. Eg: House nº 112 means house nº 4

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Imagin what would happen if there was a zombie invasion just at your house.

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

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Thinking about a situation someone else in the world might be in. For example, Someone dying and the pain they must be going through.

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I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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Whenever Terminator 2 is on tv, I become enthralled and can't stop watching even though I've seen it a million times.

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I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

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I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

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I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

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When you like your own comment or status', but then you feel kind of pathetic for doing it so you unlike it.

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After going to the toilet to do a S#!* I will only sit on one cheek for the rest of the day until I bathe

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Go for a 10 mile run.

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Lightly touching your stomach or other body parts with your fingers to get that tickling sensation.

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eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

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While at the movies, grab and eat your popcorn with your tongue and pretend you are a lizard.

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feel like your calculator is judging/making fun of you for looking up simple equations

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Get somewhat worried about myself if I'm thumbed down on THIS SITE.

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When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.