I like to go out without shoes on hot days and play the floor is lava

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I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

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When you like your own comment or status', but then you feel kind of pathetic for doing it so you unlike it.

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realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

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Being able to think about great ideas for the world, but not being able to get a math problem done.

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I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

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I always walk down the hall James Bond style. Gun out, along the wall, looking around corners before I walk into or by a room.

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masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

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Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

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I would try to make my pencil shavings as long as possible.

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sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

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That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

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Go to bed with my left nostril clogged, wake up with my right nostril clogged.

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When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

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When my girlfriend ask me what I am thinking about, I tell her I am thinking of all the great things about my last girlfriend.

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Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

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When walking around a slightly empty store, I walk around and pretend I'm a spy, trying not to be seen.

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I DO wish I had the ability of the guy in the comment below me. Moral: Yeah I have to type moral down here, because its awesome and because whatever its awesome!

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Sometimes, when I'm at work, I j3rk 0ff in the bathroom. Please tell me someone else has done this????

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Kill Jb without getting aressted.

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When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

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I eat something and read book/newspaper/magazine at the same time. Then i take food crumbs off the book and eat them too.

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Only taking half a biscuit because it makes you feel bad and then taking another half of a different biscuit.

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getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.