after dialing a number and clicking "call" constanly rehearse what your going to say when the other person picks up the line

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When peeing at a urinal, move my stream back and forth the coat as much of the wall as I can.

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Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

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Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

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Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

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when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

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Change the channel when a Progressive commercial comes on because I can't STAND that stupid Flo girl.

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Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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Mares really turn me on, so I download "bad stuff" Ironically though, I worked at a farm last summer and realized there is nothing more disgusting than reality. Still mares turn me on... If on video.

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When two people in my house are arguing, I stay in my room to avoid awkwardly interrupting them and being dragged into it.

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Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

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Right before I go to the dentist I brush my teeth.

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when your professor describes their wife or husband you imagine their wife or husband.

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I read the down voted posts

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Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

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Walking around on the streets wondering if you are really walking in place, and the earth is spinning according to how you walk, like a treadmill.

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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Justin Beiber is a woman

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Have a sudden urge to say "bomb" at an airport.

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When I'm drinking something, I slosh the glass back and forth a long with my head to try and get what I'm drinking into my mouth.

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When something funny happens think of it a couple days later than laugh,everyone then looks at me weirdly.

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Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

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Get turned on when you see a girl yawn

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If i read or see something good (on tv )the next time i daydream i am always some how involved in it

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.