Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

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try to give your friends spirit animals

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sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

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I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

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You see someone do something cool and imagine doing it in front of all your friends

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

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When dunking oreos I like to hold it under the milk and watch the bubbles til they stop

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Go for a 10 mile run.

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eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

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When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

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Air guitar to a song of how you think it would be on a Guitar Hero game.

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Say something smart in class, then worry your friends will rip ony uo for it half way through saying it, so end it by saying "or something like that."

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I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

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Sometimes I get annoyed when I realize none of my friends ever eat vegetables or drink anything but sugary soda`s and are somehow as healthy, sometimes even healthier than me.

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try to make myself sneeze because I like the feeling I get when I do

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Getting over excited when you hear a song you like on the radio, even though you have it on your Ipod and can listen to it whenever you want.

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Pretend to listen to music, but just do it so nobody talks to me or i simply just ignore them.

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Tryng to run away from, or at least be faster than my shadow.

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Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

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I have an imaginary therapist. I talk to him in my head and he actually gives me really good answers.

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I DO wish I had the ability of the guy in the comment below me. Moral: Yeah I have to type moral down here, because its awesome and because whatever its awesome!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.