Add numbers on license plates of cars around me while waiting at a light.

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When I wake up after having a good dream I try to remember it but I don't

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Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

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Thinking about a situation someone else in the world might be in. For example, Someone dying and the pain they must be going through.

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I eat something and read book/newspaper/magazine at the same time. Then i take food crumbs off the book and eat them too.

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When I used to go on car rides at night I would look up at the moon and I would think it was following us.

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i get an headache when i each cheese. but i don't get one when i have pizza or cheese and onion crisps

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I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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I like to go out without shoes on hot days and play the floor is lava

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realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

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Wondering if your life is a TV show, and people are watching what you do.

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Being able to think about great ideas for the world, but not being able to get a math problem done.

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sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

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Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

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That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

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We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

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Refreshing captcha codes for five minutes straight until you find reasonably legible letters.

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get really freaked out when your in a parking lot and the car next to you starts backing up and you think your moving forward.

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When walking around a slightly empty store, I walk around and pretend I'm a spy, trying not to be seen.

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Feels my beard with my tongue.

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Listening to my iPod with other people walking by me or sitting near me and feeling mysterious and cool.

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I DO wish I had the ability of the guy in the comment below me. Moral: Yeah I have to type moral down here, because its awesome and because whatever its awesome!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.