Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Picking my nose.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

Being fat

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Imagin what would happen if there was a zombie invasion just at your house.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

make south park refferences every day

thumb_up thumb_down -66

So has anyone else ever been in the middle of doing something and at the exact moment something happens and you sort of wonder if it happened because of what you did.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down -70

read on youtube comments with too unlikes

thumb_up thumb_down -70

When you're scared of the bathroom and you close your eyes you quickly look around to check if there's a monster or something in the mirror

thumb_up thumb_down -78

Laying in bed at a friends place with your eyes closed imaging where you would end up if you got up and went to the toilet as if it was your own house.

thumb_up thumb_down -82

Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -90

Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

thumb_up thumb_down -94

Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.

thumb_up thumb_down -126

I think of doing something productive, but can't work up the motivation and end up on the internet instead.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Playing a sad song that talks about your current situation and then looking in the mirror or out the window pretending you are in a sad music video.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

thumb_up thumb_down +25

I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Watch a familiar movie, and then freak out when you see a suspensful part, only to later realize that there was no point in getting worked up since you already know what happens.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.