get happy as sh*t when you remember your homework is do after your lunch period so you can do it then, but never end up doing it.

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log out of any social network sites so that when im on a website it doesnt somehow send messages to my profile

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At night, everytime when i walk past that curtain lampost, it goes off.

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turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

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I mean Diana Ross.

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Listening to a song, thinking about having the life of the singer in the band

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cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

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wipe your armpit and then sniff it to see how bad you smell

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When I have my headphones in, and I'm miming the words to a song in the bathroom pretending that I'm playing a gig. I put the tap on to make sure no one hears me dancing.

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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Do somthing only you do

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when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

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Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

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Emmy Jackson Y U ALWAYS ANGRY WHEN SOMEONE SAY HI

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Change the channel when a Progressive commercial comes on because I can't STAND that stupid Flo girl.

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When I'm walking on pavement or tiles I always make patterns, e.g stepping on every second tile, stepping a certain amount of times on each bit of pavement

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Sleep in your jeans because you think it feels comfortable in the morning.

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Whenever someone enters a pin number I always try to see how many number I can remember

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Make odd grunting noises and sighs of relief while going #2.

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When I look at a clear blue sky, I'm convinced that I see little tiny floaty things, and think that I'm seeing air molecules.

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acting as if you can shoot with a banana

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when your professor describes their wife or husband you imagine their wife or husband.

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i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

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judge a spider on it's ability to hide from me and decide to let it survive if I consider it a clever hiding place, then get paranoid because the spider was smart.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.