I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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When reading some of the weirder things here, I somewhat worry some of these things people do might start happening to me just because I read about them.

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When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

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Wipe the salt off your hand on your right pant leg after eating salty fries from fast food restaurants.

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Sometimes I imagine that I am in a coma and all of the things of this world are not real. Then when I wake up from the coma I will be the best inventor of all time.

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When alone and listening to music I pretend that I am the artist and dance around the room like its the music video or I am on stage.

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When sitting or laying down, tell yourself to get up in your head but see how long your body can resist your commands, and end up yelling at yourself to move in your head while still sitting/laying down.

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A lot of times I believe things I see or things that happen are "signs" of something.

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I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

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after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth

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Change the channel when a Progressive commercial comes on because I can't STAND that stupid Flo girl.

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put wood glue on my hand, blow it dry and peel it off to make fake skin

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Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

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When I'm at home alone, I feel like people are watching me through my windows, so I act completely civil.

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Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

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When I haven't looked in a mirror for a while, I worry that I look awful, and when I get to a mirror, I'm like "Oh yeah, that's what I look like".

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Can't stop tears from comeing to your eyes when singing

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Mares really turn me on, so I download "bad stuff" Ironically though, I worked at a farm last summer and realized there is nothing more disgusting than reality. Still mares turn me on... If on video.

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Try to figure out if some of the posts were written by the same person.

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acting as if you can shoot with a banana

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Feel like something is behind you/watching you, run to your room super quickly and get into the room before that something gets you

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I don't read the terms of service.

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.