When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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Pretend i'm a sim.

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When you need something from someone and you forget what it's called,So then you have to awkwardly explain it.

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Sometimes at a red light, I like to look at the person driving next to me and if they look towards me I quickly turn around and pretend I wasn't looking at them.

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When i talk i say i like how or i hate that.

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Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

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When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

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I like to turn the lights off in the bathroom, actually block every little bit of light I possibly can, then take a nice warm shower, curl up on the floor, block my ears and enjoy the warm water and sensory deprivation.

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

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Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

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Pretending you're a badass character from an anime or movie when listening to rock music (or something similar)

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When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

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masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

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get happy as sh*t when you remember your homework is do after your lunch period so you can do it then, but never end up doing it.

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when i wake up from a dream and it was an amazing dream. then i try to fall back asleep to have it again...it doesn't work

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I always feel as if someone is always watching me on a screen where ever I am, and every person in the world is also being watched as well

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When I drive I sing really loud and then when a car come up next to me I pretend I wasn't singing

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I doodle on everything I get that can be doodled on, even my exams :)

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Whenever I hear a baby or a young child scream very loud, I imagine that their head will explode.

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Try stick to something but fail in the end

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Refreshing captcha codes for five minutes straight until you find reasonably legible letters.

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Feels my beard with my tongue.

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I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.