I wonder if elections are rigged?

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Right before I go to the dentist I brush my teeth.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Have a sudden urge to say "bomb" at an airport.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

get a new *to you* car, and suddenly every other car on the road is the same make/ model..... hey look! an outback!

thumb_up thumb_down -29

When I meet someone random, and have a small conversation, and then when they leave, I feel sad because I think I am never going to see them again.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

RE:" pee on the side of the toilet" you dont pee on the side of the toilet so it isn't loud. you pee on the side so it doesn't splash on you're legs as much.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

thumb_up thumb_down -35

If my SOLVE media is too long I refresh it to give me a shorter one

thumb_up thumb_down -39

I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

thumb_up thumb_down -41

only read the short jokes on this website

thumb_up thumb_down -43

(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

While talking on the phone you can't think of anything to say then it gets awkwardly quiet

thumb_up thumb_down -45

I sometimes chew on the inside of my cheek

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Turn the door knob while closing the door ...so it doesn't make a loud noise.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Sitting down in the shower

thumb_up thumb_down -59

when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Being fat

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Make calculations with house number. Eg: House nº 112 means house nº 4

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.