Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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i masturbate with my feet

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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I have memorized my drivers license registration number

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So has anyone else ever been in the middle of doing something and at the exact moment something happens and you sort of wonder if it happened because of what you did.

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when you are at home doing something then all of a sudden you imagine how you would take down a killer if he came into your home right now. just me?

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Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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When dunking oreos I like to hold it under the milk and watch the bubbles til they stop

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Lightly touching your stomach or other body parts with your fingers to get that tickling sensation.

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When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

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I never take drinks into smelly places, out of fear that the smell will somehow get into my drink and contaminate the taste.

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I doodle on everything I get that can be doodled on, even my exams :)

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I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

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When no one is home, I poop with the door open, just because I can.

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TV turned on just so... Makes you not feeling alone or because some other unknown (or) irrational reason.And of course, feeling guilty cause you spending energy and money but still... Most of the time you just don't care.

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Sometimes, for no real reason, I'll make strange or funny noises when no one is around.

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i absolutely hate the number nine, and when i told my brother this i was like "sometimes i wish i could delete the number 9" and hes like "but then youd have 9 numbers" and i was like..... "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

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Try stick to something but fail in the end

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1. When you're downstairs at night you go upstairs as fast as fucking possible. 2. When you switch volume in TV, the second number has to be 0 or 5.

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When you do something really cool but no one is there to see it and it's pointless to try and tell them about it because they don't believe you

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When i talk i say i like how or i hate that.

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When you need something from someone and you forget what it's called,So then you have to awkwardly explain it.

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I randomly hold my boobs in my room.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.