Whenever you make cereal, you eat exactly where you make it like on the table.

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

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Feel like something is behind you/watching you, run to your room super quickly and get into the room before that something gets you

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Find that the kettle has recently been used and still contains hot water so decide to have a cup of tea just so that boiling that water wasn't a waste. Think that it might have cooled down by now. Reboil the water.

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At any time of day, when i'm not busy, someone you know pops into your head and you start talking to them telepathically, but not for long, then you realise that youre just plain crazy? anyone?

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I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

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having cool friends, but all their other friends are nerds.

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I always have to watch the credits of a movie even, though everyone else has left the theatre and there are people cleaning up the seats, which makes me think, they think i'm crazy.

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The only time I seem to look at the clock is when the numbers read my birth date.

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You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

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Looking at something suggestive on your computer and worrying that someone else in your family can see what you're doing on their computer.

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I have won so many competitions online for things like being the 99, 999th visitor on the site

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When you had a crush on a girl in elementary school, then don't see her in middle school and think of how much of a bitch she was. Then You start crushing on her again in high school.

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I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

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Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

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Smoking in the shower.

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when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

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Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

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Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

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Use a signature that automatically gets me hundreds of red thumbs... Yeah that moral crap...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.