YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

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Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

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All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

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When you don't have enough money for something, you just take a tiny bit of money from your siblings and parents room at a time so they don't notice any different

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I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

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click your pen off of your desk and make it hop in the air

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

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Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

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When dunking oreos I like to hold it under the milk and watch the bubbles til they stop

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see if I can hold my breath when walking down a long hallway

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The older I get the more honest I get

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I think of doing something productive, but can't work up the motivation and end up on the internet instead.

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When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

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Be talking to someone about something random, then a few days later or so... something very relevant to that happens, then you think to yourself "I'm sure I can tell the future"... I'm very confident that, that is just me...

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check to see if post has any likes right after posting it. then have second thoughts about it.

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Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

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Think something you shouldn't about someone, stop thinking about it in case they read your mind, and then, as an added precaution, think "I know you listening".

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Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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Get somewhat worried about myself if I'm thumbed down on THIS SITE.

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I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

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I piss in the bed every night

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.