When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

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I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

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Cheak the fridge every 5 minuets waiting for food to just "magicly" appear

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When I used to go on car rides at night I would look up at the moon and I would think it was following us.

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trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

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I was not born in the country I am living in now

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Whilst passing a mega dump or room clearer as my brother calls them I come up with songs...sometimes in spanish

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

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Turn volume down on iPod or tv, then turn up one bar to make it seem like it's still loud.

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Love to check my astrological compatibility with my favorite musicians.

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Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

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You pretend to fight imaginary people while no ones looking:/ But you look like the star wars kid...

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I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

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realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

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skipping back to the start of the guitar solo over and over so I can pretend I'm playing it

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Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

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touching something (like a crack in a wall) and then thinking to yourself that your the only person thats ever touched it..

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Think that some minutes feel shorter than others

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When playing a game you refer to the kid you don't know as "kid" - ar2

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Think that my ice tastes different than my water.

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When I use the bathroom at school, I keep the door open with the kickstand and use the stall. It's because I fear that one day, when I'm all alone in the bathroom with the door closed, the fire alarm will go off and scare the living crap out of me. This trick backfires when someone comes in without closing the door and uses the urinal.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.