- Things You Think Only You Do

I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

I chew around the center of carrots.

....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

Drink out the carton (your whole family prob does it)

When sitting or laying down, tell yourself to get up in your head but see how long your body can resist your commands, and end up yelling at yourself to move in your head while still sitting/laying down.

Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

Multi task while your brushing your teeth and forget you have a tooth brush in your mouth.

sitting in the passenger seat of the car, move my head around gently to guide a piece of dirt on the window in the foreground around the obstacle course of trees, streetlights etc in the background. Also, imagine my eyes are projecting lasers which cut through anything and carve the passing world up to my design.

My bedroom is at the end of the house, so when I turn the light out and sprint to the lounge room, thinking Jeff the Killer could get me...

taking your t shirt or sweatshirt off quickly so nothing gets you while its over your face

I still put my thumb in my mouth, BUT only because I like the feel of putting my eye lashes under my fingernails and my thumb inconveniantly fits in my mouth. Now I know I'm the only person in the world who does this. I'm trying to drop the habit. But it feels so GOOD!

I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

I just saw the D in Disney for the first time ever. My brain always saw a backwards G. I knew it was supposed to be a D, I just never bothered to fix it. There has been a G there my whole life.

I used to peep when my relatives are watching porn, back when i was a kid. After that, i feel like i wanna pee.

Check the lint filter on the dryer every time I walk into the laundry room.

Think what would I be doing if I was someone else

When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

Kill Jb without getting aressted.

read on youtube comments with too unlikes

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.