acting as if you can shoot with a banana

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Sometimes I turn on my bedroom fan at night just so i can use heavier blankets.

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Be a loner at school

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When I wake up after having a good dream I try to remember it but I don't

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The only time I seem to look at the clock is when the numbers read my birth date.

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Drink alcohol out of styrofoam soda cups on the bus and train.

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You tell your friends that you hate the Rick roll'd song even though you secretly like it.

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having cool friends, but all their other friends are nerds.

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eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

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Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

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I have walked into a sliding glass door

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My daily agenda: wake up take a crap get out of bed...

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Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

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When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

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When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

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Dilikes the Gangnam Style.

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Open my mouth while doing my mascara... it's impossible not to!!!

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When watching TV shows, I always think about what I would have done differently if I was the character in that particular situation.

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We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

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When walking around a slightly empty store, I walk around and pretend I'm a spy, trying not to be seen.

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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When two people in my house are arguing, I stay in my room to avoid awkwardly interrupting them and being dragged into it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.