- Things You Think Only You Do

Wipe the salt off your hand on your right pant leg after eating salty fries from fast food restaurants.

When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

Sometimes when you're at work and you're REALLY horny, you look around at the women you work with and think who you really would like to bone, then on another particular day when you aren't horny, you see the same women and think to yourself " I must have REALLY been horny. What was I thinking?" lol (not trying to be gross, but honestly, who doesn't get horny while at work sometimes)

I find it easiest to read or study while sitting on the toilet.

Sometimes I blink and act like I am taking a picture with my eyes.

When you need something from someone and you forget what it's called,So then you have to awkwardly explain it.

I have a feeling that life is a Video Game for another Universe. When the player looks at their computer screen, they see what I see. They control everything I do. Like The Sims games. Everyone else is either other players in a multiplayer server, or they are are all fake, computer players.

Look at my poop before flushing

when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

take 2 coffes in 2 seconds cause dont remember the first coffee! o.O

When I was a kid and I misbehaved when my dad used to smack me I would put emphasis in my cries to let him think that I got the lesson.

We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

Sometimes at a red light, I like to look at the person driving next to me and if they look towards me I quickly turn around and pretend I wasn't looking at them.

When I haven't looked in a mirror for a while, I worry that I look awful, and when I get to a mirror, I'm like "Oh yeah, that's what I look like".

Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

I don't read the terms of service.

At any time of day, when i'm not busy, someone you know pops into your head and you start talking to them telepathically, but not for long, then you realise that youre just plain crazy? anyone?

Taking your headphones/earbuds off a lot to see if your music is playing loudly. Or to see if other people could possibly hear it

Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

I have to stop the Microwave on 0 but before it beeps or I'm not going to get what I want in life. OCD MUCH

try to rip the top off an Oreo without messing up the cream and then if the cream comes out on both parts not wanting to eat the Oreo because its wrong.

When you had a crush on a girl in elementary school, then don't see her in middle school and think of how much of a bitch she was. Then You start crushing on her again in high school.

Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.