Deside to watch a video in bed on your phone or iPad and drop it on your face...

thumb_up thumb_down -60

When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

thumb_up thumb_down -62

When I post a picture on a Horsehead Huffer site that I made on Microsoft Paint, and it ends up being one of those that never load, I go back on Paint and save it again. Then I repost it, and it works.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

I have autofocus in my eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Thinking about a situation someone else in the world might be in. For example, Someone dying and the pain they must be going through.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -66

Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -74

I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

thumb_up thumb_down -78

....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

thumb_up thumb_down -86

Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -88

.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

touching something (like a crack in a wall) and then thinking to yourself that your the only person thats ever touched it..

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Read things from this page and think to self: "Thank God, I thought I was the only one."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Sniff or tap to a rhythm to some sort of beat I composed in my head...

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

You look over the edge of a tall building/structure, and have that sudden urge to jump off.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I'm in the middle of a good dream but I wake up and try to go back to sleep to finish it when it never happens.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Sleep with pillow between legs

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Think that some minutes feel shorter than others

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.