Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

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when im alone i pretend to sniper zombies out my bedroom window

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Feel like something is behind you/watching you, run to your room super quickly and get into the room before that something gets you

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Whenever you make cereal, you eat exactly where you make it like on the table.

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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Check the lint filter on the dryer every time I walk into the laundry room.

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only read the short jokes on this website

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Pretending there is a man running beside you during a long car journey and jumping over obstacles

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think up the funniest jokes right before i go to sleep and cant think of them the next day

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Sometimes I would just be thinking to myself and then think of something funny and laugh but I don't share it with anyone else makes me look insane.

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When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

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I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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Love to check my astrological compatibility with my favorite musicians.

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skipping back to the start of the guitar solo over and over so I can pretend I'm playing it

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touching something (like a crack in a wall) and then thinking to yourself that your the only person thats ever touched it..

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Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

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When I'm home alone, I start hearing random noises and think someone is breaking in.

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Tryng to run away from, or at least be faster than my shadow.

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When I'm making a weird face, I remind my self to stop before it gets stuck like that.

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after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth

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When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.