When you had a crush on a girl in elementary school, then don't see her in middle school and think of how much of a bitch she was. Then You start crushing on her again in high school.

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Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

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Leftovers are better than the actual meal ;)

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fap

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Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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test how many stares you can scale in one step

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when im in the toilet and invent something in my mind and dont have a pen and paper to wright my invention and when im done i forget about it...

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When I'm watching a movie I have already seen I hope for a different ending but soon realize it won't happen

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i get an headache when i each cheese. but i don't get one when i have pizza or cheese and onion crisps

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carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

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Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

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Wondering what would happen if you did something super random or inappropriate in a group setting. :)

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When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

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I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

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I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

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Watch peoples body language and see if they're on the same pace of thought as i am and then try to speed up my thinking to pretend or act like I am realizing something they are not.

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I was not born in the country I am living in now

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When you're scared of the bathroom and you close your eyes you quickly look around to check if there's a monster or something in the mirror

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Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

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When dunking oreos I like to hold it under the milk and watch the bubbles til they stop

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.