I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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I pee in the sink so i don't have to aim

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Pretending you're a badass character from an anime or movie when listening to rock music (or something similar)

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Sometimes when someone says something to me, I will hear them perfectly clear, but I will instinctively say "what?"

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If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

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Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

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masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

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accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

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Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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Air guitar to a song of how you think it would be on a Guitar Hero game.

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I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

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When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

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Feeling sorry for objects to throw away!! Haha anyone els?

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Sitting on a toilet in a public bathroom and staying silent until everyone leaves, so you do not feel the embarrassment

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Read things from this page and think to self: "Thank God, I thought I was the only one."

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Love the natural smell of my dog's paws.

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When watching TV shows, I always think about what I would have done differently if I was the character in that particular situation.

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Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

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Blink and pretend that you just took a picture with your eyes.

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I take a dump and then look to see how big it is.

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You question gods existence and evolution but then quickly tell herself hes real so you don't get struck with a lighting bolt

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I pee on the bathroom sink everytime, because I am lazy to open the toilet, even when I visit other people, sorry friends and family =)

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.