Help my dogs eat their dinner....I think the whole time, "If they only had thumbs".....

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Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

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1. When you're downstairs at night you go upstairs as fast as fucking possible. 2. When you switch volume in TV, the second number has to be 0 or 5.

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take 2 coffes in 2 seconds cause dont remember the first coffee! o.O

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My bedroom is at the end of the house, so when I turn the light out and sprint to the lounge room, thinking Jeff the Killer could get me...

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I never feel bored

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I still put my thumb in my mouth, BUT only because I like the feel of putting my eye lashes under my fingernails and my thumb inconveniantly fits in my mouth. Now I know I'm the only person in the world who does this. I'm trying to drop the habit. But it feels so GOOD!

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Sometimes I turn on my bedroom fan at night just so i can use heavier blankets.

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I used to peep when my relatives are watching porn, back when i was a kid. After that, i feel like i wanna pee.

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eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

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Turn shower water all the way up hot before getting out because it feels good

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sometimes *sigh* sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

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Hide important things in places at home but forget later where you hid them.

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only read the short jokes on this website

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Use reverse psychology on the rain to make it slow down or speed up.

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I lift my butt when I'm farting

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whenever someone pulls up beside you in another car, you are fully aware of them, but never look at them, your too cool to care what they look like.

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When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

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when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

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I have to stop the Microwave on 0 but before it beeps or I'm not going to get what I want in life. OCD MUCH

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Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

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(okay maybe not a thing I do but something I noticed) When people call themselves "Writers" In today's world you know that might not be the case because we have computers so shouldn't they be called typers?

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Pretending I'm on my cellphone in public.

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when you're walking down the streets and you listen to your iPod, you pretend you're part of the music video for that song and when no ones looking, lip sync to the lyrics, as if the camera man's filming you >.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.