sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

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Wipe the salt off your hand on your right pant leg after eating salty fries from fast food restaurants.

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Drink out the carton (your whole family prob does it)

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When I use the bathroom at school, I keep the door open with the kickstand and use the stall. It's because I fear that one day, when I'm all alone in the bathroom with the door closed, the fire alarm will go off and scare the living crap out of me. This trick backfires when someone comes in without closing the door and uses the urinal.

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When my girlfriend ask me what I am thinking about, I tell her I am thinking of all the great things about my last girlfriend.

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Poking my self under the covers just to not falleth asleepeth (t -_-)zzzzzz

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Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

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after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth

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Twice on two different internet super power sites, I posted sdrawkcab epyt ot REWEP eth"... ...Sadly I forgot to type MORAL under them, so they have... several thumbs ups... NERO: In a world of bithes and h0m0f*gs that never understood that my "MORALS" where pure SARCASM!... Oh, I also think I am one of the three hundred guys that gangbang your mother.

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Turn off light in bed... notice something you haven't seen before. IT'S SLENDERMAN You turn the light back on and realized it was a lamp

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think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

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Toss something across the room toward the place it belongs, get excited when it lands upright/ perfectly in place, then immediately regret you weren't recording it.

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Help my dogs eat their dinner....I think the whole time, "If they only had thumbs".....

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I see something glittery, someone tells me not to pick it up because I'll glitter all over myself, I pick it up anyway and glitter all over myself.

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humiliating little girls

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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I spin around in a spot, and then close my eyes and tilt my head up and to the opposite side i'm spinning to. It just feels awesome and it's even better while listening to music.

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Whenever I watch TV, the volume has to be on multiples of 5. Even if the perfect volume is in between.

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Feels my beard with my tongue.

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Sometimes I turn on my bedroom fan at night just so i can use heavier blankets.

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You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

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I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

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blink

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Point your finger to the sky when your favorite song comes on in the club or the radio

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.