Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

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Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

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Wondering what would happen if you did something super random or inappropriate in a group setting. :)

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When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

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read on youtube comments with too unlikes

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Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

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I was not born in the country I am living in now

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Walk down the street, listening to a song, singing it softly, then thinking 'I might wanna stop doing that before I look awkward', but the wires get crossed and you start singing LOUDER and so on.

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click your pen off of your desk and make it hop in the air

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Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

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Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

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I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

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Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

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Playing a sad song that talks about your current situation and then looking in the mirror or out the window pretending you are in a sad music video.

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If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

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Being able to think about great ideas for the world, but not being able to get a math problem done.

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I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

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When no one is home, I poop with the door open, just because I can.

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try to make myself sneeze because I like the feeling I get when I do

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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Half of these posts are all but "things you think only you do". So is mine

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Sometimes I have something I want to do and then walk into the room to do it in and forget exactly what I was trying to do, it usually involves the kitchen so I just look in the refrigerator then leave and then remember what it is I wanted to do.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.