....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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Having the tv on always, just for background noise. Doesn't work with a computer/laptop, must be the tv.

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Wipe my hands on a cold glass to clean my hands

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Pick your dead skin then eat it.

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putting your hand in the water in the back of the toilet and thinking its gross toilet water and get grossed out

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Go for a 10 mile run.

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skipping back to the start of the guitar solo over and over so I can pretend I'm playing it

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I love touching, squeezing and occasionally biting my dog's (read: any dog's) muzzle. I love the texture and the gummy-ness. I also love how pissed he gets when I do it and sneezes after.

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When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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Refreshing captcha codes for five minutes straight until you find reasonably legible letters.

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My login password is INCORRECT so if I forget it my computer will say "your password is incorrect"

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I DO wish I had the ability of the guy in the comment below me. Moral: Yeah I have to type moral down here, because its awesome and because whatever its awesome!

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Be a loner at school

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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Have a sudden urge to say "bomb" at an airport.

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Feel like something is behind you/watching you, run to your room super quickly and get into the room before that something gets you

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OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

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(okay maybe not a thing I do but something I noticed) When people call themselves "Writers" In today's world you know that might not be the case because we have computers so shouldn't they be called typers?

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I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

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realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

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Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

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Think that my ice tastes different than my water.

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When I'm making a weird face, I remind my self to stop before it gets stuck like that.

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I mean Diana Ross.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.