Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

Wondering what would happen if you did something super random or inappropriate in a group setting. :)

When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

read on youtube comments with too unlikes

Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

I was not born in the country I am living in now

Walk down the street, listening to a song, singing it softly, then thinking 'I might wanna stop doing that before I look awkward', but the wires get crossed and you start singing LOUDER and so on.

click your pen off of your desk and make it hop in the air

Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

Playing a sad song that talks about your current situation and then looking in the mirror or out the window pretending you are in a sad music video.

If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

Being able to think about great ideas for the world, but not being able to get a math problem done.

I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

When no one is home, I poop with the door open, just because I can.

try to make myself sneeze because I like the feeling I get when I do

I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

Half of these posts are all but "things you think only you do". So is mine

Sometimes I have something I want to do and then walk into the room to do it in and forget exactly what I was trying to do, it usually involves the kitchen so I just look in the refrigerator then leave and then remember what it is I wanted to do.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.