Think that my ice tastes different than my water.

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When I use the bathroom at school, I keep the door open with the kickstand and use the stall. It's because I fear that one day, when I'm all alone in the bathroom with the door closed, the fire alarm will go off and scare the living crap out of me. This trick backfires when someone comes in without closing the door and uses the urinal.

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Whenever I hear a baby or a young child scream very loud, I imagine that their head will explode.

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At night, everytime when i walk past that curtain lampost, it goes off.

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When my girlfriend ask me what I am thinking about, I tell her I am thinking of all the great things about my last girlfriend.

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Feels my beard with my tongue.

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taking your t shirt or sweatshirt off quickly so nothing gets you while its over your face

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I have to keep reading website pages until I reached 5, 10, 15 etc. When I get close to my age though, I can finish there.

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Drink alcohol out of styrofoam soda cups on the bus and train.

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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blink

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When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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Kill Jb without getting aressted.

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I eat something and read book/newspaper/magazine at the same time. Then i take food crumbs off the book and eat them too.

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Get soo scared in the shower when your home alone that you are scared to open the curtain just incase somebody is out tthere

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Everytime aplane is flying low you think it's going to crash right in front of your eyes

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Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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Think something you shouldn't about someone, stop thinking about it in case they read your mind, and then, as an added precaution, think "I know you listening".

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get happy as sh*t when you remember your homework is do after your lunch period so you can do it then, but never end up doing it.

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A lot of times I believe things I see or things that happen are "signs" of something.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.