When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

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I eat something and read book/newspaper/magazine at the same time. Then i take food crumbs off the book and eat them too.

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read on youtube comments with too unlikes

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Everytime aplane is flying low you think it's going to crash right in front of your eyes

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Get soo scared in the shower when your home alone that you are scared to open the curtain just incase somebody is out tthere

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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Think something you shouldn't about someone, stop thinking about it in case they read your mind, and then, as an added precaution, think "I know you listening".

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Open my mouth while doing my mascara... it's impossible not to!!!

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While I Am on the computer late at night, my Mum tells me to go to bed, I say I will in a second. I stay for a few more minutes, my mum tells me again, I do the same thing...

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When watching TV shows, I always think about what I would have done differently if I was the character in that particular situation.

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Half of these posts are all but "things you think only you do". So is mine

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when I go shopping I go in the store, get what I need and then I leave I don't browse.

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Add numbers on license plates of cars around me while waiting at a light.

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When I wake up after having a good dream I try to remember it but I don't

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I have walked into a sliding glass door

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Thinking about a situation someone else in the world might be in. For example, Someone dying and the pain they must be going through.

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I lift my butt when I'm farting

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When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

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Cheak the fridge every 5 minuets waiting for food to just "magicly" appear

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Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

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Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.