Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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I like to turn the lights off in the bathroom, actually block every little bit of light I possibly can, then take a nice warm shower, curl up on the floor, block my ears and enjoy the warm water and sensory deprivation.

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I was not born in the country I am living in now

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I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

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If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

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I doodle on everything I get that can be doodled on, even my exams :)

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Leave the fan on at night just in case you feel to warm.

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Hate people who don't dress like you because they're not fashionable. Hate people who do dress like you because they threaten your individuality.

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Stab myself on a daily basis

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Drink out the carton (your whole family prob does it)

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Use my phone to see what time it is

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I pee on the bathroom sink everytime, because I am lazy to open the toilet, even when I visit other people, sorry friends and family =)

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

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When I'm at home alone, I feel like people are watching me through my windows, so I act completely civil.

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Try to time the traffic light so that when I snap, my light turns green. Always so so close.

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When I meet someone random, and have a small conversation, and then when they leave, I feel sad because I think I am never going to see them again.

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Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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Click an invisible pen I think is in my hand but is not constantly everyday.

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Find that the kettle has recently been used and still contains hot water so decide to have a cup of tea just so that boiling that water wasn't a waste. Think that it might have cooled down by now. Reboil the water.

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Picking your dogs booger for him/her

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Sometimes when I'm watching a sitcom, I get distracted from the jokes because the characters are in a bedroom and I start focusing on the awesome stuff they have.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.