Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

Run faster down hotel corridors.

Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

Feeling sorry for objects to throw away!! Haha anyone els?

I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

I have the background on my computer a picture of some cartoon characters,and when I'm alone I talk to the screen like those characters are actually in the room. -Briarwoodninja

strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

I wonder what it wonder be like to have a really tall girlfriend?

I love touching, squeezing and occasionally biting my dog's (read: any dog's) muzzle. I love the texture and the gummy-ness. I also love how pissed he gets when I do it and sneezes after.

Tryng to run away from, or at least be faster than my shadow.

When watching TV shows, I always think about what I would have done differently if I was the character in that particular situation.

after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth

When in shower, I turn the heat to max for a few minutes to warm up the whole bathroom.

Listening to a song, thinking about having the life of the singer in the band

When playing a game you refer to the kid you don't know as "kid" - ar2

1. When you're downstairs at night you go upstairs as fast as fucking possible. 2. When you switch volume in TV, the second number has to be 0 or 5.

I can only play a piano with my right hand

I think some songs would be better if they didn't put a rap in with them

humiliating little girls

Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

I have won so many competitions online for things like being the 99, 999th visitor on the site

Use reverse psychology on the rain to make it slow down or speed up.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.