When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

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Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

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Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

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You see someone do something cool and imagine doing it in front of all your friends

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I was the real Stig...

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Having the tv on always, just for background noise. Doesn't work with a computer/laptop, must be the tv.

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When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

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Wondering if your life is a TV show, and people are watching what you do.

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right after I turn the shower off I jump up and down to get rid of the extra water all over me...

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Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

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Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

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Get bored of regular porn and watch some bestiality just for the variation.

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Whenever I hear a baby or a young child scream very loud, I imagine that their head will explode.

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When sitting or laying down, tell yourself to get up in your head but see how long your body can resist your commands, and end up yelling at yourself to move in your head while still sitting/laying down.

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Try stick to something but fail in the end

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I think any disasterous accidents will not happen to me.

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My login password is INCORRECT so if I forget it my computer will say "your password is incorrect"

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You question gods existence and evolution but then quickly tell herself hes real so you don't get struck with a lighting bolt

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1. When you're downstairs at night you go upstairs as fast as fucking possible. 2. When you switch volume in TV, the second number has to be 0 or 5.

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When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

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When I was a kid and I misbehaved when my dad used to smack me I would put emphasis in my cries to let him think that I got the lesson.

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sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

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think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

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We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.