turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

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i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

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If my SOLVE media is too long I refresh it to give me a shorter one

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You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

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I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

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When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

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Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

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Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

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Going to sleep during class thinking that you've written down all your notes, until you wake up and realize you did nothing.

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Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

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Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

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Deside to watch a video in bed on your phone or iPad and drop it on your face...

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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Make calculations with house number. Eg: House nº 112 means house nº 4

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When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

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I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

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All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

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When passed by a very attractive girl in the street, turn around and look after her and/or follow her to the next street corner, in order to grasp more of her beauty.

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Watch peoples body language and see if they're on the same pace of thought as i am and then try to speed up my thinking to pretend or act like I am realizing something they are not.

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Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

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eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

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I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.