Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

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Believing in the kindness of strangers

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i masturbate with my feet

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Inspect the shower, bath or toilet, then washing it until you believe it is suitable to use.

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Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

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Being fat

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make south park refferences every day

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I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

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read on youtube comments with too unlikes

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

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I pee in the sink so i don't have to aim

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Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

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Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

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Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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When you're scared of the bathroom and you close your eyes you quickly look around to check if there's a monster or something in the mirror

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I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

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I **** with no hands.

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click your pen off of your desk and make it hop in the air

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Whenever Terminator 2 is on tv, I become enthralled and can't stop watching even though I've seen it a million times.

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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When dunking oreos I like to hold it under the milk and watch the bubbles til they stop

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when listening to pandora just skip through the songs and hit the like or hate buttons and not listen to the music,but then when you want to listen to the music you can't because theres no wifi

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When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.