I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

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When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

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Start walking down a busy street or mall, and realise I've gone the wrong way. Suddenly stop and pretend to read something on my phone for a few seconds before turning round and walking the right way.

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Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

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Turn volume down on iPod or tv, then turn up one bar to make it seem like it's still loud.

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I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

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Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

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Make up a song to yourself.

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When you're walking along at night and you see the moon, then you move around quickly,still looking at it as if you're controlling it.

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Walking into a room to do something, and then forgetting what you were gonna do.

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After going to the toilet to do a S#!* I will only sit on one cheek for the rest of the day until I bathe

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Be talking to someone about something random, then a few days later or so... something very relevant to that happens, then you think to yourself "I'm sure I can tell the future"... I'm very confident that, that is just me...

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Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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Realized with 7 billion people, there is a chance that someone else on earth is doing exactly the same thing as me at any given time.

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When I'm home alone, I start hearing random noises and think someone is breaking in.

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Sometimes I get annoyed when I realize none of my friends ever eat vegetables or drink anything but sugary soda`s and are somehow as healthy, sometimes even healthier than me.

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log out of any social network sites so that when im on a website it doesnt somehow send messages to my profile

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Sniff or tap to a rhythm to some sort of beat I composed in my head...

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Go to bed with my left nostril clogged, wake up with my right nostril clogged.

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always get sports injuries, never get any attention from them

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.