When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

Pretending there is a man running beside you during a long car journey and jumping over obstacles

I have to stop the Microwave on 0 but before it beeps or I'm not going to get what I want in life. OCD MUCH

If my SOLVE media is too long I refresh it to give me a shorter one

Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

Not eat French fries because I don't like the taste rather than because they are unhealthy?

After reading something from this site, I find myself compelled to try it.

Eating chicken at KFC.

When your at your friends house and they run out of toilet paper, so you sit there like "what do i do now?"

I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

When looking at a digital clock that counts down to seconds, I wait until the seconds are an even number, then I try to say each number in order twice before it changes.

Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

When someone wants to kill a bug, I'll get insane and catch the bug, then run out and release the bug while saying "NOW YOU'RE FREE!!!!!"

Leave the fan on at night just in case you feel to warm.

When standing in long lines (stores, banks etc..) I think about how other people would react if I puked all over the place with no warning.

When i talk i say i like how or i hate that.

Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

Sometimes, I wonder why god or the big bang ever existed in the first place and why there is a universe in the first place ... And it makes my brain hurt!

When I'm at home alone, I feel like people are watching me through my windows, so I act completely civil.

When two people in my house are arguing, I stay in my room to avoid awkwardly interrupting them and being dragged into it.

Accidently send an empty text or text multiple people and send wrong text to wrong person

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.