Pretending I'm on my cellphone in public.

Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

Put my hands together the 'other' way

I like to watch lava lamps heat up

The older I get the more honest I get

Tells a joke only you thought was funny and still laughs then laughs harder because your the only one laughing nikki

Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

Flush the toilet before you finish peeing.

feel like your calculator is judging/making fun of you for looking up simple equations

A mix of Slenderman and Herobrine would be the ideal husband for me. >:)

right after I turn the shower off I jump up and down to get rid of the extra water all over me...

I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

Realized with 7 billion people, there is a chance that someone else on earth is doing exactly the same thing as me at any given time.

That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

have fake conversations that might happen in the future...so ur prepared

Thinking that out there, on this earth in a lost city, there is an awesome clone of you.

I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

Have to have a certain light in the bathroom to poop. Also, nobody can be anywhere near me.

I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

Think that some minutes feel shorter than others

Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.

You always go to the corner of the shower when the cold water is running.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.