Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

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When I am in a bind and I know I need help I just say " I gott this" and things work out

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Sometimes I get annoyed when I realize none of my friends ever eat vegetables or drink anything but sugary soda`s and are somehow as healthy, sometimes even healthier than me.

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You always go to the corner of the shower when the cold water is running.

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I find it easiest to read or study while sitting on the toilet.

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thinking "what if people can read my mind" then cant stop thinking dirty things about people around me

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When you do something really cool but no one is there to see it and it's pointless to try and tell them about it because they don't believe you

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Make sure I put the deodorant top back on the correct way -- you know, so the sticker is to the front.

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wipe your armpit and then sniff it to see how bad you smell

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Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

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when I go shopping I go in the store, get what I need and then I leave I don't browse.

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When I drive I sing really loud and then when a car come up next to me I pretend I wasn't singing

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when i watch a movie, and a character in it gos underwater, i hold my breath with that person until that person gets above water, then i let go, either that, after the character comes up from the water, i still hold my breath until i cant take it anymore.

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Change the channel when a Progressive commercial comes on because I can't STAND that stupid Flo girl.

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Learning a definition of a word and after that seeing it everywhere.

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I can only play a piano with my right hand

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I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

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When two people in my house are arguing, I stay in my room to avoid awkwardly interrupting them and being dragged into it.

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acting as if you can shoot with a banana

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RE:" pee on the side of the toilet" you dont pee on the side of the toilet so it isn't loud. you pee on the side so it doesn't splash on you're legs as much.

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Sometimes when I'm watching a sitcom, I get distracted from the jokes because the characters are in a bedroom and I start focusing on the awesome stuff they have.

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having cool friends, but all their other friends are nerds.

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Turn shower water all the way up hot before getting out because it feels good

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I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.