Think of the most awkward or dreadful thing you could possibly do in any given situation and be almost compelled to do it but then realising that you could never show your face anywhere ever again if you did.

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When something funny happens think of it a couple days later than laugh,everyone then looks at me weirdly.

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I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

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I have won so many competitions online for things like being the 99, 999th visitor on the site

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Paranoid someone is reading your mind, so you think something weird to see if they look at you

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Looking at something suggestive on your computer and worrying that someone else in your family can see what you're doing on their computer.

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After reading something from this site, I find myself compelled to try it.

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in the morning when you wake up and take a shower you make weird faces to stretch out and "warm up" your face for the day

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When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

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When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

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i masturbate with my feet

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Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

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Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

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When passed by a very attractive girl in the street, turn around and look after her and/or follow her to the next street corner, in order to grasp more of her beauty.

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

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you know that when things have only one like on this site, the people who wrote it liked it

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I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

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What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

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Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

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I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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Laying in bed at a friends place with your eyes closed imaging where you would end up if you got up and went to the toilet as if it was your own house.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.