When it is raining and a sad song comes on the radio, I look out the window and pretend I am in a movie. -Cocobear

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Sing every word to Bohemian Rhapsody every time you hear it in the most dramatic way possible.

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When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

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Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

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masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

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Tryng to run away from, or at least be faster than my shadow.

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Whenever i do something bad to someone I can't stop smiling even though i never wanted to smile in the first place and i feel like people think I'm a terrible person

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Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

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While I Am on the computer late at night, my Mum tells me to go to bed, I say I will in a second. I stay for a few more minutes, my mum tells me again, I do the same thing...

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fart then blame it on the guy next to me realizing theres no one near me and everyone looks at me....awkward

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Love the natural smell of my dog's paws.

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When I use the bathroom at school, I keep the door open with the kickstand and use the stall. It's because I fear that one day, when I'm all alone in the bathroom with the door closed, the fire alarm will go off and scare the living crap out of me. This trick backfires when someone comes in without closing the door and uses the urinal.

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Read something strange and funny that you don't actually do, then say: "whaat?" And lough and everyone around you just look at you not knowing why you're talking to yourself an laughing.

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Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

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At night, everytime when i walk past that curtain lampost, it goes off.

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When my girlfriend ask me what I am thinking about, I tell her I am thinking of all the great things about my last girlfriend.

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When watching TV shows, I always think about what I would have done differently if I was the character in that particular situation.

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acting as if you can shoot with a banana

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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When you need something from someone and you forget what it's called,So then you have to awkwardly explain it.

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I never feel bored

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When I was a kid and I misbehaved when my dad used to smack me I would put emphasis in my cries to let him think that I got the lesson.

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Whenever I watch TV, the volume has to be on multiples of 5. Even if the perfect volume is in between.

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when making thing only you think you do you never read the terms of service

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.