Have one of those days where you think it is just a dream but then reality takes over

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While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

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i get an headache when i each cheese. but i don't get one when i have pizza or cheese and onion crisps

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when im in the toilet and invent something in my mind and dont have a pen and paper to wright my invention and when im done i forget about it...

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Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

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fap

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Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

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Only use the left earphone.

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Being fat

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Make calculations with house number. Eg: House nº 112 means house nº 4

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

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send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

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When you have the " If I'm on an elevator and it breaks and is about to crash at the bottom, and I jump up before it does, will I live?" thought.

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I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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Run faster down hotel corridors.

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After going to the toilet to do a S#!* I will only sit on one cheek for the rest of the day until I bathe

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Sometimes I feel that my reflection in the mirror will stop doing what I'm doing and either jump out and grab me, start telling me about her reflected life, or give me a mission to free her from her mirror life.

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Become self-conscious and wonder if you were making faces while day dreaming during the middle of class.

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing.

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When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

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Feel bad about hurting someone a long time ago, when I was a child, and wish I could speak to that person and say "I'm sorry." Cringe whenever the thought of the incident rises.

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I wonder what it wonder be like to have a really tall girlfriend?

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Realized with 7 billion people, there is a chance that someone else on earth is doing exactly the same thing as me at any given time.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.