Tell myself that I'm only going for a 20 minute nap and end up sleeping for 1/+ hour(s)...

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Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

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i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

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judge a spider on it's ability to hide from me and decide to let it survive if I consider it a clever hiding place, then get paranoid because the spider was smart.

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i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

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Smoking in the shower.

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If my SOLVE media is too long I refresh it to give me a shorter one

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If I'm in the car looking for an address or a street name I'll turn down the radio. Why?

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

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jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

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Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

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(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

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when im in the toilet and invent something in my mind and dont have a pen and paper to wright my invention and when im done i forget about it...

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Deside to watch a video in bed on your phone or iPad and drop it on your face...

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Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

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Whenever I finish reading a book, I feel a great sense of achievement.

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You feel like someone can read your mind so you try not to think about stupid stuff.

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

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I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

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Say "Up and Down" for "Left or Right"

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I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

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while you put your t-shirt on, you get frightened that someone's watching you behind your shirt so you try to put it on as soon as possible.

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Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.