turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

When I'm on a site that requires you to login with Facebook or Twitter to leave a comment, I click on the names of the nice looking ones to go see their pages to add them to my friends list.

I make sims of everyone I know and make them have kids together.

Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

When in class , I move alot in my chair when my butt itches .

I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

Sleeping with one leg under the blanket and one out.

try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

when im in the toilet and invent something in my mind and dont have a pen and paper to wright my invention and when im done i forget about it...

fap

Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

Only use the left earphone.

when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

Sitting down in the shower

Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.