While talking on the phone you can't think of anything to say then it gets awkwardly quiet

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I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

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poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

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when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

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Being fat

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Deside to watch a video in bed on your phone or iPad and drop it on your face...

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When I post a picture on a Horsehead Huffer site that I made on Microsoft Paint, and it ends up being one of those that never load, I go back on Paint and save it again. Then I repost it, and it works.

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send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

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Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

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Thinking about a situation someone else in the world might be in. For example, Someone dying and the pain they must be going through.

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I prefer to go to the bathroom with the door open.

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Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

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I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

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.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing.

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When you lie in bed and imagine scenarios that will never happen.

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I never take drinks into smelly places, out of fear that the smell will somehow get into my drink and contaminate the taste.

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I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

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I'm in the middle of a good dream but I wake up and try to go back to sleep to finish it when it never happens.

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Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.