When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

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Sleep with pillow between legs

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I love touching, squeezing and occasionally biting my dog's (read: any dog's) muzzle. I love the texture and the gummy-ness. I also love how pissed he gets when I do it and sneezes after.

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always get sports injuries, never get any attention from them

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When sitting or laying down, tell yourself to get up in your head but see how long your body can resist your commands, and end up yelling at yourself to move in your head while still sitting/laying down.

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i absolutely hate the number nine, and when i told my brother this i was like "sometimes i wish i could delete the number 9" and hes like "but then youd have 9 numbers" and i was like..... "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

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Complimenting a girl awkwardly,and then smiling stupidly later and thinking of alternate versions of the conversation that happened!!

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thinking "what if people can read my mind" then cant stop thinking dirty things about people around me

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Whenever I hear a baby or a young child scream very loud, I imagine that their head will explode.

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I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

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Open my mouth while doing my mascara... it's impossible not to!!!

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freak out if poster or pictures eyes are looking at me and can't have pictures in my room of famous people, however if I'm out and scared i have to have the pictures on my phone look at me for safety.....really wondering if any one else has this

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When I'm walking on pavement or tiles I always make patterns, e.g stepping on every second tile, stepping a certain amount of times on each bit of pavement

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wipe all the water off my body (predrying myself) before i get out of the shower, and dry myself with the towel

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Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

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When I'm at home alone, I feel like people are watching me through my windows, so I act completely civil.

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Listening to my iPod with other people walking by me or sitting near me and feeling mysterious and cool.

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Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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Sometimes I blink and act like I am taking a picture with my eyes.

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Being in the car and wondering if your parents can read your mind so you think "If you can here me cough in 3, 2, 1..." Sometimes my dad actually does it and he looks back at me and smiles. .-.

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Guessing on those annoying Captcha things and then getting unnecessarily angry when it tells you you're wrong.

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when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

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I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

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Have a sudden urge to say "bomb" at an airport.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.