While talking on the phone you can't think of anything to say then it gets awkwardly quiet

I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

Deside to watch a video in bed on your phone or iPad and drop it on your face...

Being fat

send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

When I post a picture on a Horsehead Huffer site that I made on Microsoft Paint, and it ends up being one of those that never load, I go back on Paint and save it again. Then I repost it, and it works.

Thinking about a situation someone else in the world might be in. For example, Someone dying and the pain they must be going through.

Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

I prefer to go to the bathroom with the door open.

Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

Flush the toilet before you finish peeing.

When you lie in bed and imagine scenarios that will never happen.

I never take drinks into smelly places, out of fear that the smell will somehow get into my drink and contaminate the taste.

I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

I'm in the middle of a good dream but I wake up and try to go back to sleep to finish it when it never happens.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.