accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

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sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

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right after I turn the shower off I jump up and down to get rid of the extra water all over me...

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I wonder what it wonder be like to have a really tall girlfriend?

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Hate when people ask "do you have a bathroom?" It's like "no we crap in the yard!"

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I never take drinks into smelly places, out of fear that the smell will somehow get into my drink and contaminate the taste.

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Thinking that out there, on this earth in a lost city, there is an awesome clone of you.

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When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

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When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

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Sleep with pillow between legs

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i absolutely hate the number nine, and when i told my brother this i was like "sometimes i wish i could delete the number 9" and hes like "but then youd have 9 numbers" and i was like..... "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

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When sitting or laying down, tell yourself to get up in your head but see how long your body can resist your commands, and end up yelling at yourself to move in your head while still sitting/laying down.

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When you need something from someone and you forget what it's called,So then you have to awkwardly explain it.

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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Open my mouth while doing my mascara... it's impossible not to!!!

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wipe all the water off my body (predrying myself) before i get out of the shower, and dry myself with the towel

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Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

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Listening to my iPod with other people walking by me or sitting near me and feeling mysterious and cool.

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Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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Sometimes I blink and act like I am taking a picture with my eyes.

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Being in the car and wondering if your parents can read your mind so you think "If you can here me cough in 3, 2, 1..." Sometimes my dad actually does it and he looks back at me and smiles. .-.

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I still hum songs that I made up when I was a little kid

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I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

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Whenever someone enters a pin number I always try to see how many number I can remember

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.