I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

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I'm in the middle of a good dream but I wake up and try to go back to sleep to finish it when it never happens.

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Think that some minutes feel shorter than others

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Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.

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in burgers, you eat until you have only a few bites left, then you eat the bun and then the insides

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Whenever I hear a baby or a young child scream very loud, I imagine that their head will explode.

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I like to watch people and imagine different stories that could explain why they're doing whatever it is that their doing.

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Guessing on those annoying Captcha things and then getting unnecessarily angry when it tells you you're wrong.

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I get more creeped out the more I read the comments here, especially as the comments start getting really low thumbs ups.

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I don't use my car air conditioning because I think it's wasteful and it might "run-out" when I'm REALLY, REALLY hot.

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I wonder if elections are rigged?

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We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

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Right before I go to the dentist I brush my teeth.

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I probably am the only one who does this but I climb on my cat's cat tree to see what it's like to be a cat o.o

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when your professor describes their wife or husband you imagine their wife or husband.

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When I meet someone random, and have a small conversation, and then when they leave, I feel sad because I think I am never going to see them again.

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Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

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When I'm on a site that requires you to login with Facebook or Twitter to leave a comment, I click on the names of the nice looking ones to go see their pages to add them to my friends list.

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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in the morning when you wake up and take a shower you make weird faces to stretch out and "warm up" your face for the day

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(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

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I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

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Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

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When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.