Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

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Make up a song to yourself.

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When posting these, I'm rarely able to read the words/letters in the box that prove you're human and not some computer virus. Now I'm starting to think I'm not a human......

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I sleep in my underpants every single night

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

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When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

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Pretend I'm a back-up dancer or singing a duet with the singer of the song I'm listening to.

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That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

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I hit the frig after sex

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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i feel all weird and sad when i thing about my old belongings.

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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Put the towel near the shower so that you can stand on it and not get the floor wet

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When I was younger I'd lay in bed & think about who I would pick if a person told me that I had to choose between 2 people and the 1 that I don't choose will die.

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When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

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I am a masculine guy but in private I listen to very sensitive songs. ie: careless wispers

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Sometimes, when I'm at work, I j3rk 0ff in the bathroom. Please tell me someone else has done this????

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Look into your neighbor's house and halucinate someone watching back

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Imagining how it would feel to switch bodies with your crush

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Sometimes I think that if we play with dolls, maybe we're just dolls that someone is playing with and creating lives for.

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I don't know why but I really wish I can ride a bike or drive a car through a shopping mall.

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sometimes when im in the shower and i hear the slightest bump i look behind the curtains to see if anyone is about to scare me

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.