play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

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I watch American football with the sound down low because the announcers are always trying to tell us that we didn't see what we just saw when the referees make bad calls

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When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

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I'm not bad looking and I don't fall into the beautiful category either but I really feel good about the way I look

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Opening the fridge door, then trying to accomplish pouring a drink, before the door seals itself forever leaving the cola to the mercy of the outside world.

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Imagine I'm being filmed in a reality TV show just so I could do something productive or interesting.

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Mouth words to people wearing headphones to try and get them to take them off.

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Accidentally scratching a surface and then scratching it again with the tops of your fingernails to even it out.

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I hold my breath in elevators

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Whenever you make cereal, you eat exactly where you make it like on the table.

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Get extremly pissed off when everyone on youtube thinks that only guys use the website and call you "dude" , "bro" or "sir" when they respond to a comment you posted -_-

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Click an invisible pen I think is in my hand but is not constantly everyday.

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acting as if you can shoot with a banana

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When I'm on a site that requires you to login with Facebook or Twitter to leave a comment, I click on the names of the nice looking ones to go see their pages to add them to my friends list.

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Tell myself that I'm only going for a 20 minute nap and end up sleeping for 1/+ hour(s)...

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Try to figure out if some of the posts were written by the same person.

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When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

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turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

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only read the short jokes on this website

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If my SOLVE media is too long I refresh it to give me a shorter one

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

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Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

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Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.