- Things You Think Only You Do

log out of any social network sites so that when im on a website it doesnt somehow send messages to my profile

When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

When watching TV shows, I always think about what I would have done differently if I was the character in that particular situation.

Have a big twitch, freak out when you are dosing off in class but suddenly wake up.

Trying to figure out what form of suicide would hurt the least.

Laugh when something happens to someone, but when the exact same happens to you, you say "Its not funny"

I try to not step on the lines on the sidewalk

I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

never wanting to poop in other houses. You have to use your toilet

When im alone in my car i talk to myself about lifes issues

I am a masculine guy but in private I listen to very sensitive songs. ie: careless wispers

fart then blame it on the guy next to me realizing theres no one near me and everyone looks at me....awkward

You always go to the corner of the shower when the cold water is running.

cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

Set multiple alarms to wake me up in the morning so I dont just turn it off and fall back asleep

Wake up after a dream. About a day later you think about if it was real or not.

Mares really turn me on, so I download "bad stuff" Ironically though, I worked at a farm last summer and realized there is nothing more disgusting than reality. Still mares turn me on... If on video.

Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

Feel like something is behind you/watching you, run to your room super quickly and get into the room before that something gets you

When home alone and you hear a noise getting out a gun/weapon.

The volume level on my TV has to be either an even number or a multiple of five.

acting as if you can shoot with a banana

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.