fap

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Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

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Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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When you have the " If I'm on an elevator and it breaks and is about to crash at the bottom, and I jump up before it does, will I live?" thought.

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Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

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Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing.

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Constantly hearing your name in public and asking "did you just hear my name?"

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Being able to think about great ideas for the world, but not being able to get a math problem done.

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Feel bad about hurting someone a long time ago, when I was a child, and wish I could speak to that person and say "I'm sorry." Cringe whenever the thought of the incident rises.

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I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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Realized with 7 billion people, there is a chance that someone else on earth is doing exactly the same thing as me at any given time.

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try to make myself sneeze because I like the feeling I get when I do

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I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

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Half of these posts are all but "things you think only you do". So is mine

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I know how to Gleek on command. (Don't know what it is just look it up.)

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Sleep with pillow between legs

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wipe all the water off my body (predrying myself) before i get out of the shower, and dry myself with the towel

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I take a dump and then look to see how big it is.

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Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

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Imagine flying things and epic battles when listening to music.

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Mares really turn me on, so I download "bad stuff" Ironically though, I worked at a farm last summer and realized there is nothing more disgusting than reality. Still mares turn me on... If on video.

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Wonder what random strangers look like or noises and such they make while having sex. Everyone literally. People you interact with at work , customers, your boss, the married couple. Except for people who are like dirty looking af. Our just straight up ugly. Then your like grossed out by those thoughts your having and start getting that home sickfeeling in your stomach. Almost like butterflies but like dead ones or something. Hard to explain.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.