I have to stop the Microwave on 0 but before it beeps or I'm not going to get what I want in life. OCD MUCH

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when passing someone in a car beside you, you try to wonder where they are going just by looking at them, their clothes or their expressions

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When in class , I move alot in my chair when my butt itches .

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While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

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I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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Use the toilet shower to wipe your a**, but denies the fact until death for your friends.

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I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

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While talking on the phone you can't think of anything to say then it gets awkwardly quiet

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fap

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Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

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OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

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standing at the mall with your group talking, you all decide to start walking to a store, start to follow but half the group stays behind for a few seconds then they start walking, walk a slower pace only to find out that you're in the middle of your split groups e.g. 3 in front 4 behind...dont know which one to merge to......wait for your group to collaborate back together.

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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Picking my nose.

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Believing in the kindness of strangers

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

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Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

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I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

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When you don't have enough money for something, you just take a tiny bit of money from your siblings and parents room at a time so they don't notice any different

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I pee in the sink so i don't have to aim

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.