after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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When you have the " If I'm on an elevator and it breaks and is about to crash at the bottom, and I jump up before it does, will I live?" thought.

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Constantly hearing your name in public and asking "did you just hear my name?"

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

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Feel bad about hurting someone a long time ago, when I was a child, and wish I could speak to that person and say "I'm sorry." Cringe whenever the thought of the incident rises.

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I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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try to make myself sneeze because I like the feeling I get when I do

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Sometimes I imagine that I am in a coma and all of the things of this world are not real. Then when I wake up from the coma I will be the best inventor of all time.

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I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

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Half of these posts are all but "things you think only you do". So is mine

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I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

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I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

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freak out if poster or pictures eyes are looking at me and can't have pictures in my room of famous people, however if I'm out and scared i have to have the pictures on my phone look at me for safety.....really wondering if any one else has this

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wipe all the water off my body (predrying myself) before i get out of the shower, and dry myself with the towel

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I take a dump and then look to see how big it is.

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Listening to my iPod with other people walking by me or sitting near me and feeling mysterious and cool.

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Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

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I get more creeped out the more I read the comments here, especially as the comments start getting really low thumbs ups.

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Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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Wonder what random strangers look like or noises and such they make while having sex. Everyone literally. People you interact with at work , customers, your boss, the married couple. Except for people who are like dirty looking af. Our just straight up ugly. Then your like grossed out by those thoughts your having and start getting that home sickfeeling in your stomach. Almost like butterflies but like dead ones or something. Hard to explain.

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Whenever someone enters a pin number I always try to see how many number I can remember

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I wonder if elections are rigged?

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When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

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get a new *to you* car, and suddenly every other car on the road is the same make/ model..... hey look! an outback!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.