Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

Being fat

after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

When you have the " If I'm on an elevator and it breaks and is about to crash at the bottom, and I jump up before it does, will I live?" thought.

Write something down here so that it seems like you think its normal when your actually really paranoid that its not.

Flush the toilet before you finish peeing.

Constantly hearing your name in public and asking "did you just hear my name?"

When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

right after I turn the shower off I jump up and down to get rid of the extra water all over me...

Sometimes I imagine that I am in a coma and all of the things of this world are not real. Then when I wake up from the coma I will be the best inventor of all time.

I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

Half of these posts are all but "things you think only you do". So is mine

Sleep with pillow between legs

I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

freak out if poster or pictures eyes are looking at me and can't have pictures in my room of famous people, however if I'm out and scared i have to have the pictures on my phone look at me for safety.....really wondering if any one else has this

Listening to my iPod with other people walking by me or sitting near me and feeling mysterious and cool.

I take a dump and then look to see how big it is.

Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

I get more creeped out the more I read the comments here, especially as the comments start getting really low thumbs ups.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.