Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

standing at the mall with your group talking, you all decide to start walking to a store, start to follow but half the group stays behind for a few seconds then they start walking, walk a slower pace only to find out that you're in the middle of your split groups e.g. 3 in front 4 behind...dont know which one to merge to......wait for your group to collaborate back together.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

thumb_up thumb_down -57

start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

I have autofocus in my eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

read on youtube comments with too unlikes

thumb_up thumb_down -69

What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

thumb_up thumb_down -73

stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

thumb_up thumb_down -75

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down -77

You see someone do something cool and imagine doing it in front of all your friends

thumb_up thumb_down -79

I was not born in the country I am living in now

thumb_up thumb_down -79

When someone wants to kill a bug, I'll get insane and catch the bug, then run out and release the bug while saying "NOW YOU'RE FREE!!!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -83

Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -85

scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

thumb_up thumb_down -93

Put my hands together the 'other' way

thumb_up thumb_down -97

Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

thumb_up thumb_down -99

I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down -129

When you're walking along at night and you see the moon, then you move around quickly,still looking at it as if you're controlling it.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

Write something down here so that it seems like you think its normal when your actually really paranoid that its not.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Sometimes I feel that my reflection in the mirror will stop doing what I'm doing and either jump out and grab me, start telling me about her reflected life, or give me a mission to free her from her mirror life.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

When reading some of the weirder things here, I somewhat worry some of these things people do might start happening to me just because I read about them.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.