everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

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Being fat

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I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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Sitting down in the shower

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When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

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When passed by a very attractive girl in the street, turn around and look after her and/or follow her to the next street corner, in order to grasp more of her beauty.

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I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

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I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

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when listening to pandora just skip through the songs and hit the like or hate buttons and not listen to the music,but then when you want to listen to the music you can't because theres no wifi

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Playing a sad song that talks about your current situation and then looking in the mirror or out the window pretending you are in a sad music video.

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Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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While at the movies, grab and eat your popcorn with your tongue and pretend you are a lizard.

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Constantly refresh your email page even though you know nothing will appear.

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Sniff or tap to a rhythm to some sort of beat I composed in my head...

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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Get scared of the dark while in bed, so you make sure all limbs are tucked nice and tight under the covers. Once done, you now feel safe..

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I love touching, squeezing and occasionally biting my dog's (read: any dog's) muzzle. I love the texture and the gummy-ness. I also love how pissed he gets when I do it and sneezes after.

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always get sports injuries, never get any attention from them

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thinking "what if people can read my mind" then cant stop thinking dirty things about people around me

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.