my favorite singer is Bles Bridges 22/07/1947-24/03/2000

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Solving your problems in bed before sleeping and then forgetting all of the solutions when you wake up. This applies to games, homework, and world hunger.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Walk into a public bathroom and go to the urinal, but then stop and think theres some guy who will perv on you and then go in the cubicle.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I try to eat my favorite foods slowly so I can enjoy the taste, but end up eating it really fast anyways

thumb_up thumb_down -19

When walking around a slightly empty store, I walk around and pretend I'm a spy, trying not to be seen.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I sleep in my underpants every single night

thumb_up thumb_down -21

When I remember something embarrassing I did or even something someone else did, I will yell random words. It started just with gasping but now I have like 5 words that I'll say randomly. It's evolved to include stressful or disturbing thoughts and not just embarrassing things. I have a pretty stressful life so I'm basically continuously making random sounds then looking around terrified that someone's heard.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Sometimes when I'm watching a sitcom, I get distracted from the jokes because the characters are in a bedroom and I start focusing on the awesome stuff they have.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

See a ridiculously hot girl and wonder to myself "who is the guy who gets to have sex with her. And why does she like him?" As if that can help me bag an equally hotter girl.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

When an awkward situation arises, pull out my phone and aimlessly flip through the apps to pretend I'm busy doing something

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Lying in be and pretending you are in a tv show, the characters best friend, playing it out in your mind. Or you dream while awake, and you control it, and you fly to Hollywood and become your faborite celebrities best friend.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

thumb_up thumb_down -33

I hold in my shit only because i am soo occupied with my current task.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Purposely scuff a shoe on pavement after the other scuffs by accident. Feel you scuffed this foot a little too much and so re-scuff the first to balance things out.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

I strum my fingers on my other hand between the fingers on the other hand which is a fist to make a popping sound (Try it, it's really fun)

thumb_up thumb_down -35

I mute music videos and watch them to completely different music.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

If I'm trying to read a clock or bulletin from far away, I instinctively stand and point at it.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

I flush the toilet if the water's green and I'm going to have a poo, so it doesn't splash me.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

I have seen a UFO

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Think someone's watching me so I do cool stuff to impress them just in case they are

thumb_up thumb_down -41

eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.