I have to stop the Microwave on 0 but before it beeps or I'm not going to get what I want in life. OCD MUCH

when passing someone in a car beside you, you try to wonder where they are going just by looking at them, their clothes or their expressions

When in class , I move alot in my chair when my butt itches .

While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

Use the toilet shower to wipe your a**, but denies the fact until death for your friends.

I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

While talking on the phone you can't think of anything to say then it gets awkwardly quiet

fap

Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

standing at the mall with your group talking, you all decide to start walking to a store, start to follow but half the group stays behind for a few seconds then they start walking, walk a slower pace only to find out that you're in the middle of your split groups e.g. 3 in front 4 behind...dont know which one to merge to......wait for your group to collaborate back together.

Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

Picking my nose.

Believing in the kindness of strangers

after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

When you don't have enough money for something, you just take a tiny bit of money from your siblings and parents room at a time so they don't notice any different

I pee in the sink so i don't have to aim

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.