When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

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I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

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whenever i'm holding a kitchen knife, i feel super weird like i'm gonna stab someone.... its not like i would ever do that, but i think about what would happen if i just impaled the person that is standing near me with a huge knife.

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I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

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Stab myself on a daily basis

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Have to have a certain light in the bathroom to poop. Also, nobody can be anywhere near me.

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Sleep with pillow between legs

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Sing along to the radio in the car then stop at a red light when you realize other people can see you more easily.

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When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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Run into a wall and say "I'm sorry" and then realize that it's just a wall.

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Save more than once on your favourite game.

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I try to not step on the lines on the sidewalk

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I have a band in my head that performs for me every time I listen to music.

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When I have my headphones in, and I'm miming the words to a song in the bathroom pretending that I'm playing a gig. I put the tap on to make sure no one hears me dancing.

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Being in the car and wondering if your parents can read your mind so you think "If you can here me cough in 3, 2, 1..." Sometimes my dad actually does it and he looks back at me and smiles. .-.

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When someone close to me sadly passes on and later when I am listening to the radio if I hear a song that sounds suitable to that moment I kind of make that our song if that makes sense to any of you

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i leave tv on when i sleep...cant close it cause i hate to hear....noices...in my bedroom that cant identify......

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When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

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Sometimes I turn on my bedroom fan at night just so i can use heavier blankets.

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Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

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Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

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Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

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I still hum songs that I made up when I was a little kid

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Click an invisible pen I think is in my hand but is not constantly everyday.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.