Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

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Think what would I be doing if I was someone else

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Making gang signs out the window when your parents let you ride in the front seat

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Get soo scared in the shower when your home alone that you are scared to open the curtain just incase somebody is out tthere

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When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

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When I post a picture on a Horsehead Huffer site that I made on Microsoft Paint, and it ends up being one of those that never load, I go back on Paint and save it again. Then I repost it, and it works.

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Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

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I prefer to go to the bathroom with the door open.

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watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

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WHEN I SHOW YOU A PICTURE ON MY PHONE..DON’T SWIPE LEFT.DON’T SWIPE RIGHT.JUST LOOK. Via: Collection of Love WhatsApp Status

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I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

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when walking i always count how many steps i have taken as i go

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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Make up a song to yourself.

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When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

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Pretend I'm a back-up dancer or singing a duet with the singer of the song I'm listening to.

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That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

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When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

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I chew my ice cream.

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I hit the frig after sex

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Love the natural smell of my dog's paws.

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.