I still hum songs that I made up when I was a little kid

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I don't use my car air conditioning because I think it's wasteful and it might "run-out" when I'm REALLY, REALLY hot.

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Accidentally scratching a surface and then scratching it again with the tops of your fingernails to even it out.

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When home alone and you hear a noise getting out a gun/weapon.

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Write b as d and d as b or p as q and q as p. I mostly write b as d and d as b since I've learned the alphabet. Trying not to do that now

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Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

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I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

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When in class , I move alot in my chair when my butt itches .

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While talking on the phone you can't think of anything to say then it gets awkwardly quiet

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When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

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try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

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No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

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Sleeping with one leg under the blanket and one out.

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

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OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

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everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

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I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

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When passed by a very attractive girl in the street, turn around and look after her and/or follow her to the next street corner, in order to grasp more of her beauty.

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When you have the " If I'm on an elevator and it breaks and is about to crash at the bottom, and I jump up before it does, will I live?" thought.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.