Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

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when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

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Deside to watch a video in bed on your phone or iPad and drop it on your face...

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When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

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Thinking about a situation someone else in the world might be in. For example, Someone dying and the pain they must be going through.

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When I post a picture on a Horsehead Huffer site that I made on Microsoft Paint, and it ends up being one of those that never load, I go back on Paint and save it again. Then I repost it, and it works.

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send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

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I prefer to go to the bathroom with the door open.

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Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

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Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

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I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

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You see someone do something cool and imagine doing it in front of all your friends

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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see if I can hold my breath when walking down a long hallway

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.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

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Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing.

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When you lie in bed and imagine scenarios that will never happen.

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I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

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Whenever I hear a baby or a young child scream very loud, I imagine that their head will explode.

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You always go to the corner of the shower when the cold water is running.

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freak out if poster or pictures eyes are looking at me and can't have pictures in my room of famous people, however if I'm out and scared i have to have the pictures on my phone look at me for safety.....really wondering if any one else has this

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I like to watch people and imagine different stories that could explain why they're doing whatever it is that their doing.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.