Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

thumb_up thumb_down -49

No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Being fat

thumb_up thumb_down -59

after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

When you have the " If I'm on an elevator and it breaks and is about to crash at the bottom, and I jump up before it does, will I live?" thought.

thumb_up thumb_down -69

Write something down here so that it seems like you think its normal when your actually really paranoid that its not.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Flush the toilet before you finish peeing.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Constantly hearing your name in public and asking "did you just hear my name?"

thumb_up thumb_down +26

When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

thumb_up thumb_down +18

right after I turn the shower off I jump up and down to get rid of the extra water all over me...

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Sometimes I imagine that I am in a coma and all of the things of this world are not real. Then when I wake up from the coma I will be the best inventor of all time.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Half of these posts are all but "things you think only you do". So is mine

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Sleep with pillow between legs

thumb_up thumb_down

I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

freak out if poster or pictures eyes are looking at me and can't have pictures in my room of famous people, however if I'm out and scared i have to have the pictures on my phone look at me for safety.....really wondering if any one else has this

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Listening to my iPod with other people walking by me or sitting near me and feeling mysterious and cool.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I take a dump and then look to see how big it is.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I get more creeped out the more I read the comments here, especially as the comments start getting really low thumbs ups.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.