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jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time
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-46
I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.
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-46
Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!
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-48
Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.
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-50
expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.
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-50
trying to piss after masturbation hurts.
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-52
Deside to watch a video in bed on your phone or iPad and drop it on your face...
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-54
Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.
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-54
Picking my nose.
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-56
getting excited when you find a recycled tissue in your robe/sweatshirt so you don't know have to get up to get one yourself?
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-58
I ship Bolin and Korra as a romance and a bromance. Am I weird for doing this?
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-60
after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half
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-62
I have autofocus in my eyes.
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-66
When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"
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-66
You see someone do something cool and imagine doing it in front of all your friends
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-76
Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <
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-82
worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.
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-90
When you're scared of the bathroom and you close your eyes you quickly look around to check if there's a monster or something in the mirror
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-92
I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.
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-108
I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...
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-108
Lightly touching your stomach or other body parts with your fingers to get that tickling sensation.
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+41
Tells a joke only you thought was funny and still laughs then laughs harder because your the only one laughing nikki
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+33
masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"
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+27
Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?
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+21
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Things You Think Only You Do
A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.