When i talk i say i like how or i hate that.

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Imagine flying things and epic battles when listening to music.

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I watch American football with the sound down low because the announcers are always trying to tell us that we didn't see what we just saw when the referees make bad calls

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freak out if poster or pictures eyes are looking at me and can't have pictures in my room of famous people, however if I'm out and scared i have to have the pictures on my phone look at me for safety.....really wondering if any one else has this

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Whe someone buys you a gift and you think they have installed a camera into it or can somehow mentally see you when that gift is near you. Resulting in you acting strange around that it or when you are present in the same room as that gift

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I don't know why but I really wish I can ride a bike or drive a car through a shopping mall.

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Rub a pen tip between my fingers.

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taking your t shirt or sweatshirt off quickly so nothing gets you while its over your face

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Opening the fridge door, then trying to accomplish pouring a drink, before the door seals itself forever leaving the cola to the mercy of the outside world.

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Whenever someone enters a pin number I always try to see how many number I can remember

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I refuse to take dump with the shower curtain closed. I know someone's behind it...

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Whenever I pull a long hair from my vagina or butt, it feels good.

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Whenever I watch TV, the volume has to be on multiples of 5. Even if the perfect volume is in between.

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

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Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually in a coma and that everything is just a dream and my parents are standing over me watching me and wishing their daughter was awake

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whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

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Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

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Somethings thinking: O God, I love this world.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.