When ever i watch a movie with my parents i hope to god there is no nudity or awkward sex talk

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turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

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Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

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You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

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When in class , I move alot in my chair when my butt itches .

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I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

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While talking on the phone you can't think of anything to say then it gets awkwardly quiet

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When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

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when im in the toilet and invent something in my mind and dont have a pen and paper to wright my invention and when im done i forget about it...

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Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

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Being fat

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I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

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Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

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Everytime aplane is flying low you think it's going to crash right in front of your eyes

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When you have the " If I'm on an elevator and it breaks and is about to crash at the bottom, and I jump up before it does, will I live?" thought.

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Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

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I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

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Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.