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Know almost every line from spongbob episodes.

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only drink milk from a freshly opened carton

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What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

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Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

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Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

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(okay maybe not a thing I do but something I noticed) When people call themselves "Writers" In today's world you know that might not be the case because we have computers so shouldn't they be called typers?

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I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

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You see someone do something cool and imagine doing it in front of all your friends

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

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Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

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I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

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If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

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Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

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Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

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I wonder what it wonder be like to have a really tall girlfriend?

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Constantly refresh your email page even though you know nothing will appear.

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Pretend I'm a back-up dancer or singing a duet with the singer of the song I'm listening to.

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Read things from this page and think to self: "Thank God, I thought I was the only one."

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I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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Invented a special password for yourself in order to recognize yourself if travel through time.

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I can't step on the cracks of sidewalks.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.