worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

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You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

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When a tooth is very loose,i shake it with my tongue because that pain is relaxing.

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Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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Sometimes when someone says something to me, I will hear them perfectly clear, but I will instinctively say "what?"

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If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

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Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

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Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

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masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

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Sometimes I'll think about something that's so weird nobody would ever do it, and then i figure there's a big chance somebody did it at least once in history.

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Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

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Constantly refresh your email page even though you know nothing will appear.

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when i piss in the toilet, i flush half way through and race the toilet to the finish.

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When the T.V switches to commercial sometimes I forget what I was watching Noel

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have fake conversations that might happen in the future...so ur prepared

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When theres a car just like yours right next to your car in the parking lot you almoat always gravitate to that car instead. It's the worst when there people in the car and you keep trying to open it.

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While I Am on the computer late at night, my Mum tells me to go to bed, I say I will in a second. I stay for a few more minutes, my mum tells me again, I do the same thing...

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Think that my ice tastes different than my water.

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Sitting on a toilet in a public bathroom and staying silent until everyone leaves, so you do not feel the embarrassment

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Sometimes I get annoyed when I realize none of my friends ever eat vegetables or drink anything but sugary soda`s and are somehow as healthy, sometimes even healthier than me.

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Say something smart in class, then worry your friends will rip ony uo for it half way through saying it, so end it by saying "or something like that."

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Use my phone to see what time it is

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When standing in long lines (stores, banks etc..) I think about how other people would react if I puked all over the place with no warning.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.