when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

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I don't use my car air conditioning because I think it's wasteful and it might "run-out" when I'm REALLY, REALLY hot.

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Right before I go to the dentist I brush my teeth.

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When I meet someone random, and have a small conversation, and then when they leave, I feel sad because I think I am never going to see them again.

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When ever i watch a movie with my parents i hope to god there is no nudity or awkward sex talk

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Write b as d and d as b or p as q and q as p. I mostly write b as d and d as b since I've learned the alphabet. Trying not to do that now

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Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

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When I'm on a site that requires you to login with Facebook or Twitter to leave a comment, I click on the names of the nice looking ones to go see their pages to add them to my friends list.

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I make sims of everyone I know and make them have kids together.

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

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Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

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I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

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When in class , I move alot in my chair when my butt itches .

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I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

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I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

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I strum my fingers on my other hand between the fingers on the other hand which is a fist to make a popping sound (Try it, it's really fun)

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

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I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

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Believing in the kindness of strangers

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Picking my nose.

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.