HEY! YOU! Yeah you! I can speak you only, NO! Nobody else here! Yeah you only you, by the way you are a dirty piece of s**t you mothe* F**ker! YEAH ITS YOU! I HATE YOU! EVERYBODY HATES YOU YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *end of special message just for you*

Sitting down in the shower

I prefer to go to the bathroom with the door open.

Watched the woman in black then go to bed then suddenly a woman in black comes in my room oh wait it is just my mum saying good night

sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

Constantly refreshing the Captcha for fear that It'll be wrong and I have to redo everything I did.

I have autofocus in my eyes.

WHEN I SHOW YOU A PICTURE ON MY PHONE..DON’T SWIPE LEFT.DON’T SWIPE RIGHT.JUST LOOK. Via: Collection of Love WhatsApp Status

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

when walking i always count how many steps i have taken as i go

I was not born in the country I am living in now

that time where you open the fridge door and stare at it for like 10 min then close it and walk away?

....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

I sleep in my underpants every single night

At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

Pretend I'm a back-up dancer or singing a duet with the singer of the song I'm listening to.

That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

If I'm at work and have to poop, when I get in the stall I look under the opening at the bottom for any other feet in the other stalls to make sure I am alone. I always think what if when I do that someone else does it at the same time.

When watching TV shows, I always think about what I would have done differently if I was the character in that particular situation.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.