- Things You Think Only You Do

When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

only read the short jokes on this website

Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

When in class , I move alot in my chair when my butt itches .

Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

I strum my fingers on my other hand between the fingers on the other hand which is a fist to make a popping sound (Try it, it's really fun)

Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

Believing in the kindness of strangers

after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

Thinking about a situation someone else in the world might be in. For example, Someone dying and the pain they must be going through.

try to give your friends spirit animals

I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

I blow my nose in my towel after i dry off. Then use the same towel the next day. lol

Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

I pee in the sink so i don't have to aim

IM 13 years old when i touch something i have a feeling and wont let me do anything until i touch it again or 4 times or sometimes even 16 times i cant live like this its weird!!!!

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.