Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

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Sometimes I imagine that I am in a coma and all of the things of this world are not real. Then when I wake up from the coma I will be the best inventor of all time.

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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i feel all weird and sad when i thing about my old belongings.

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Think that some minutes feel shorter than others

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A lot of times I believe things I see or things that happen are "signs" of something.

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Hthe temptation to go up on the roof but when u get to where u go out get freaked and run away

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Listening to a song, thinking about having the life of the singer in the band

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I mean Diana Ross.

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right click refresh on desktop. Repeat

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When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

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Put the towel near the shower so that you can stand on it and not get the floor wet

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cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

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Poking my self under the covers just to not falleth asleepeth (t -_-)zzzzzz

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I take a dump and then look to see how big it is.

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wipe your armpit and then sniff it to see how bad you smell

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Can't stop tears from comeing to your eyes when singing

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Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

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Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

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When I'm at home alone, I feel like people are watching me through my windows, so I act completely civil.

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Guessing on those annoying Captcha things and then getting unnecessarily angry when it tells you you're wrong.

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When I'm laying in bed in the dark and I close my eyes for a while then when I open them again I quickly scan for a light source just to make sure I can still see.

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I don't use my car air conditioning because I think it's wasteful and it might "run-out" when I'm REALLY, REALLY hot.

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Wonder what random strangers look like or noises and such they make while having sex. Everyone literally. People you interact with at work , customers, your boss, the married couple. Except for people who are like dirty looking af. Our just straight up ugly. Then your like grossed out by those thoughts your having and start getting that home sickfeeling in your stomach. Almost like butterflies but like dead ones or something. Hard to explain.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.