- Things You Think Only You Do

after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

Looking at something suggestive on your computer and worrying that someone else in your family can see what you're doing on their computer.

Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

fap

Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

Pretend you and your classmates are in a Hunger Games scenario.

When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

Believing in the kindness of strangers

So has anyone else ever been in the middle of doing something and at the exact moment something happens and you sort of wonder if it happened because of what you did.

Sitting down in the shower

trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

I prefer to go to the bathroom with the door open.

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Thinking your life is a movie...

try to give your friends spirit animals

I have autofocus in my eyes.

When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.