Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

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sometimes *sigh* sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

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Believing in the kindness of strangers

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try to give your friends spirit animals

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Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

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Thinking about a situation someone else in the world might be in. For example, Someone dying and the pain they must be going through.

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I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

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I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

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Left alone Big noise, people aren't expected back as soon so grab baseball bat and charge only to find them back early...."what you doing?" "batting my socks around practising my baseball skills"

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I blow my nose in my towel after i dry off. Then use the same towel the next day. lol

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Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

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Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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I pee in the sink so i don't have to aim

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Pretending I'm on my cellphone in public.

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see if I can hold my breath when walking down a long hallway

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I like to watch lava lamps heat up

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The older I get the more honest I get

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Tells a joke only you thought was funny and still laughs then laughs harder because your the only one laughing nikki

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Get somewhat worried about myself if I'm thumbed down on THIS SITE.

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When theres a car just like yours right next to your car in the parking lot you almoat always gravitate to that car instead. It's the worst when there people in the car and you keep trying to open it.

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Read things from this page and think to self: "Thank God, I thought I was the only one."

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Sniff or tap to a rhythm to some sort of beat I composed in my head...

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You look over the edge of a tall building/structure, and have that sudden urge to jump off.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.