No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

Only use the left earphone.

Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

standing at the mall with your group talking, you all decide to start walking to a store, start to follow but half the group stays behind for a few seconds then they start walking, walk a slower pace only to find out that you're in the middle of your split groups e.g. 3 in front 4 behind...dont know which one to merge to......wait for your group to collaborate back together.

Sitting down in the shower

I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

i masturbate with my feet

When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

I have autofocus in my eyes.

make south park refferences every day

When passed by a very attractive girl in the street, turn around and look after her and/or follow her to the next street corner, in order to grasp more of her beauty.

When I post a picture on a Horsehead Huffer site that I made on Microsoft Paint, and it ends up being one of those that never load, I go back on Paint and save it again. Then I repost it, and it works.

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

I was the real Stig...

Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.