- Things You Think Only You Do

Sleeping with one leg under the blanket and one out.

I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

When I'm watching a movie I have already seen I hope for a different ending but soon realize it won't happen

whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

HEY! YOU! Yeah you! I can speak you only, NO! Nobody else here! Yeah you only you, by the way you are a dirty piece of s**t you mothe* F**ker! YEAH ITS YOU! I HATE YOU! EVERYBODY HATES YOU YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! end of special message just for you

I have autofocus in my eyes.

Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

I blow my nose in my towel after i dry off. Then use the same towel the next day. lol

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

I am such a coward. When I'm going to have an argument or complain to someone, I think of the beat ever retort, but when it comes down to it I say "why are you so mean" or " why don't you just leave me alone for once" or something like that. ( Yes I get picked on, cos I'm the smartest in our class)

Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

only drink milk from a freshly opened carton

Pretending I'm on my cellphone in public.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.