I watch American football with the sound down low because the announcers are always trying to tell us that we didn't see what we just saw when the referees make bad calls

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Taking your headphones/earbuds off a lot to see if your music is playing loudly. Or to see if other people could possibly hear it

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When you need something from someone and you forget what it's called,So then you have to awkwardly explain it.

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I don't know why but I really wish I can ride a bike or drive a car through a shopping mall.

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How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

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Try to think of something nice then thinks of then scariest things.

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When there are multiple puddles on the sidewalk you try and jump in every single one of them

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shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

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Wake up after a dream. About a day later you think about if it was real or not.

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I refuse to take dump with the shower curtain closed. I know someone's behind it...

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Right before I go to the dentist I brush my teeth.

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I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

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Whenever I pull a long hair from my vagina or butt, it feels good.

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I thought the 2013 film Frozen could have gone longer

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Justin Beiber is a woman

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Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

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When I'm on a site that requires you to login with Facebook or Twitter to leave a comment, I click on the names of the nice looking ones to go see their pages to add them to my friends list.

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I always ask myself "Why am I me?". But have never come up with a good answer.

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Add numbers on license plates of cars around me while waiting at a light.

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After eating a sandwich, eat the leftover sesame seeds one-by-one.

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When I'm watching a video on YouTube, I repeatedly click on the video slider section below the video because I feel uncomfortable not doing it, ever since I realized that you can't move to different parts of the video with your keyboard without clicking there first.

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I lift my butt when I'm farting

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Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

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Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.