I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

thumb_up thumb_down -71

I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

thumb_up thumb_down -73

Slowly close the fridge door to see when the light bulb turns off.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

Watch peoples body language and see if they're on the same pace of thought as i am and then try to speed up my thinking to pretend or act like I am realizing something they are not.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

I **** with no hands.

thumb_up thumb_down -77

Laying in bed at a friends place with your eyes closed imaging where you would end up if you got up and went to the toilet as if it was your own house.

thumb_up thumb_down -79

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down -81

When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

thumb_up thumb_down -83

I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

thumb_up thumb_down -89

Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

thumb_up thumb_down -89

Put my hands together the 'other' way

thumb_up thumb_down -99

I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

thumb_up thumb_down -119

I like to watch lava lamps heat up

thumb_up thumb_down -129

The older I get the more honest I get

thumb_up thumb_down +60

Walking into a room to do something, and then forgetting what you were gonna do.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

After going to the toilet to do a S#!* I will only sit on one cheek for the rest of the day until I bathe

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Playing a sad song that talks about your current situation and then looking in the mirror or out the window pretending you are in a sad music video.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Constantly hearing your name in public and asking "did you just hear my name?"

thumb_up thumb_down +26

I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Pretend I'm a back-up dancer or singing a duet with the singer of the song I'm listening to.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

right after I turn the shower off I jump up and down to get rid of the extra water all over me...

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.