Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

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in the morning when you wake up and take a shower you make weird faces to stretch out and "warm up" your face for the day

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You feel compelled to stab someone in the face... But you don't since you know its wrong. Instead you play violent video games to get it off your mind.

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Smoking in the shower.

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I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

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Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

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I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

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Have one of those days where you think it is just a dream but then reality takes over

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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when im in the toilet and invent something in my mind and dont have a pen and paper to wright my invention and when im done i forget about it...

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carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

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sometimes *sigh* sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

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Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

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when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

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When listening to a song with headphones or on the radio i sing the harmonies or make them while they sing the lead

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Get soo scared in the shower when your home alone that you are scared to open the curtain just incase somebody is out tthere

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When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

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Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.