When I am in a bind and I know I need help I just say " I gott this" and things work out

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I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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Have troubles sleeping when it's hot.

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Sometimes after a long, hard day or when something bad happens I just sit down and cry in the shower.

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think of who i would kill if i found out i only had a few weeks to live. i.e. sickest criminal alive.

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Go to bed with my left nostril clogged, wake up with my right nostril clogged.

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Try to make a sound described in a book or text (like a gasp or a gargle)

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I worry because I keep wondering why I worry.

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Stand really close to the mirror and look myself in the eyes. Try to scare myself or make a really fast movement, hoping my reflection can't keep up.

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I like making subliminal messages (givemeyourmoney)

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I always think I have special powers

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When I'm making a weird face, I remind my self to stop before it gets stuck like that.

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worry about other people hearing you pee when your in the bathroom.

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think that the NSA is always watching what you do online at any time you are even connected.

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Think that some minutes feel shorter than others

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Wonder if I have a twin across the world and he makes all the opposite decisions.

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I think any disasterous accidents will not happen to me.

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look for old friends on facebook to see what they are up to now

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I would try to make my pencil shavings as long as possible.

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Act as if you don't notice her, but you really are dying to take another look at her.

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when i have a head or toothache...i hit it harder thinking it will stop or get better

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Wondering how you look to other people and adjusting your clothes and posture so you don't feel as unatractive as you think you are, but aren't.

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One time I went to my old primary school and while I was there I needed the toilet. So I go use the schools and was shocked at how small everything was I guess because I haven't been there in a while

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If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.