When reading some of the weirder things here, I somewhat worry some of these things people do might start happening to me just because I read about them.

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Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

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Wondering if your life is a TV show, and people are watching what you do.

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accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

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When i was a kid. I really dont care about the story of any animated film. As long as im watching it.

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Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

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Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

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When theres a car just like yours right next to your car in the parking lot you almoat always gravitate to that car instead. It's the worst when there people in the car and you keep trying to open it.

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You think about all the stupid things you did in elementary school and avoid anyone who went to your elementary school in high school.

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Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

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When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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When sitting or laying down, tell yourself to get up in your head but see how long your body can resist your commands, and end up yelling at yourself to move in your head while still sitting/laying down.

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try to only take one step on each sidewalk square.

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Whenever i do something bad to someone I can't stop smiling even though i never wanted to smile in the first place and i feel like people think I'm a terrible person

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When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

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I have an imaginary therapist. I talk to him in my head and he actually gives me really good answers.

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I DO wish I had the ability of the guy in the comment below me. Moral: Yeah I have to type moral down here, because its awesome and because whatever its awesome!

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Hthe temptation to go up on the roof but when u get to where u go out get freaked and run away

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when you've done everything you wanted to do on the internet and stop and just stare at the screen.

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Pull your headphones away from your ear when you're listening to music to see if it's too loud.

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Sometimes I toot.

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Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

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Look into your neighbor's house and halucinate someone watching back

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I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.