Feeling sorry for inanimate objects

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Tip my couch over to dig for something I have lost and then end up finding a bunch of random crap.

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When im alone in my car i talk to myself about lifes issues

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Sometimes I toot.

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Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

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Look at adigital clock sideways when in bed while tryingto sleep and try to make the numbers look like faces

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fart then blame it on the guy next to me realizing theres no one near me and everyone looks at me....awkward

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I have a band in my head that performs for me every time I listen to music.

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Guessing on those annoying Captcha things and then getting unnecessarily angry when it tells you you're wrong.

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Being in the car and wondering if your parents can read your mind so you think "If you can here me cough in 3, 2, 1..." Sometimes my dad actually does it and he looks back at me and smiles. .-.

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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while I am sitting on the toilet I play with it and waste the toilet paper and of course i just keep flushing it

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Whenever someone enters a pin number I always try to see how many number I can remember

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Think long and hard about something but then realise you don't care

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Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

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taking your t shirt or sweatshirt off quickly so nothing gets you while its over your face

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There's this reassuring voice in my head. She's almost like a mother, telling me that it'll be alright and that I have things to do.

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I wonder if elections are rigged?

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I don't use my car air conditioning because I think it's wasteful and it might "run-out" when I'm REALLY, REALLY hot.

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Sometime when I'm alone, I like to fill my bathtub with marinara sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.

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I put the volume on my television so it is on any number divisible by five (5-10-15 etc. etc.)

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I chuckle whenever I hear the phase "Stark raving mad." I don't know why.

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When you're out for a run, you pretend that someone is chasing after you so you run harder.

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When home alone and you hear a noise getting out a gun/weapon.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.