You tell your friends that you hate the Rick roll'd song even though you secretly like it.

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Making gang signs out the window when your parents let you ride in the front seat

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Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

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When i think about something hilarious that happened previously and laugh about it days later at the most innappropriate time.

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

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Use the letters on my phone to make words to help me remember important numbers

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Think of something to post but cant put it into words.

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WHEN I SHOW YOU A PICTURE ON MY PHONE..DON’T SWIPE LEFT.DON’T SWIPE RIGHT.JUST LOOK. Via: Collection of Love WhatsApp Status

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Thinking your life is a movie...

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When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

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Cover the built in webcam on my laptop when I'm using it with a folded piece of paper just in case

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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

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I sometimes look at a guy and wonder how big their dick is.

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The older I get the more honest I get

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If I get lost while driving, the first thing I do is turn down the radio.

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Run faster down hotel corridors.

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Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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Go for a 10 mile run.

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Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

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Make sudden movements in the mirror to try and catch out my reflection.

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Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

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think of who i would kill if i found out i only had a few weeks to live. i.e. sickest criminal alive.

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feel like your calculator is judging/making fun of you for looking up simple equations

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.