Leave the fan on at night just in case you feel to warm.

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I'm in the middle of a good dream but I wake up and try to go back to sleep to finish it when it never happens.

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I know how to Gleek on command. (Don't know what it is just look it up.)

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I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

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When watching TV shows, I always think about what I would have done differently if I was the character in that particular situation.

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When sitting or laying down, tell yourself to get up in your head but see how long your body can resist your commands, and end up yelling at yourself to move in your head while still sitting/laying down.

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Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

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Listening to a song, thinking about having the life of the singer in the band

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Run into a wall and say "I'm sorry" and then realize that it's just a wall.

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pull out a flies wings and let it go

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Whenever I hear a baby or a young child scream very loud, I imagine that their head will explode.

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Seeing an acquaintance who you would feel awkward talking to in a public place, knowing they see you as well, and pretending not to see them, while hoping they pretend not to see you as well.

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You question gods existence and evolution but then quickly tell herself hes real so you don't get struck with a lighting bolt

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I have an imaginary therapist. I talk to him in my head and he actually gives me really good answers.

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When someone close to me sadly passes on and later when I am listening to the radio if I hear a song that sounds suitable to that moment I kind of make that our song if that makes sense to any of you

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Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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Sometimes when I'm laughing really hard I awkwardly clap my hands.

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play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

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Listening to my iPod with other people walking by me or sitting near me and feeling mysterious and cool.

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cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

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When I drink out of a disposable coffee cup with a lid, the opening on the lid has be on the exact opposite side from the seam where the cup is glued to form the cylinder.

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Imagining how it would feel to switch bodies with your crush

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Help my dogs eat their dinner....I think the whole time, "If they only had thumbs".....

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Sometimes I blink and act like I am taking a picture with my eyes.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.