start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

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Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

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When I post a picture on a Horsehead Huffer site that I made on Microsoft Paint, and it ends up being one of those that never load, I go back on Paint and save it again. Then I repost it, and it works.

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When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

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Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

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Whenever Terminator 2 is on tv, I become enthralled and can't stop watching even though I've seen it a million times.

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I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

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I **** with no hands.

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I was not born in the country I am living in now

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Walk down the street, listening to a song, singing it softly, then thinking 'I might wanna stop doing that before I look awkward', but the wires get crossed and you start singing LOUDER and so on.

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Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

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I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

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Make up a song to yourself.

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Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

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When you're walking along at night and you see the moon, then you move around quickly,still looking at it as if you're controlling it.

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If I get lost while driving, the first thing I do is turn down the radio.

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Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.

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Leave the fan on at night just in case you feel to warm.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.