When home alone and you hear a noise getting out a gun/weapon.

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Accidentally scratching a surface and then scratching it again with the tops of your fingernails to even it out.

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When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

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When I haven't looked in a mirror for a while, I worry that I look awful, and when I get to a mirror, I'm like "Oh yeah, that's what I look like".

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Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

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When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

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Just ocassionally stand up and pontlessly walk around the house when using the computer. Anyone?

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When a passneger in the car, I sing songs in my head and hope the song is in time with the signs and streetlights as I drive past them.

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Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

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fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

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When I'm on a site that requires you to login with Facebook or Twitter to leave a comment, I click on the names of the nice looking ones to go see their pages to add them to my friends list.

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Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

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When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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Click an invisible pen I think is in my hand but is not constantly everyday.

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fall asleep in the shower.

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use tweezers to pull out leg hair or armpit hair out of sheer boredom.

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only read the short jokes on this website

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in a grocery store, only walking on the colored single tiles the entire time your in there pretending there small cliffs without touching the white one otherwise you fall and fail.

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When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

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I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

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If my SOLVE media is too long I refresh it to give me a shorter one

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When I walking the same direction as other people, I secretly race them and do the sports commentry in my head

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.