When something funny happens think of it a couple days later than laugh,everyone then looks at me weirdly.

I hold my breath in elevators

Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

Think of the most awkward or dreadful thing you could possibly do in any given situation and be almost compelled to do it but then realising that you could never show your face anywhere ever again if you did.

Try to figure out if some of the posts were written by the same person.

the power to regenerate your appendix

When I'm drinking something, I slosh the glass back and forth a long with my head to try and get what I'm drinking into my mouth.

I always ask myself "Why am I me?". But have never come up with a good answer.

I don't read the terms of service.

I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

Not vote up my own posts? I bet I'm among the few..

I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

Smoking in the shower.

You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

Skip the first 3 minutes of "Free Bird" because it's too slow.

Point your finger to the sky when your favorite song comes on in the club or the radio

Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.