I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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When someone enters the room while i'm playing a game, start playing the best song of the game soundtrack so they notice it and think the game has a cool soundtrack.

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Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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When Ive already talked to somebody , I think of things I couldve said to make the converstion better

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If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

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When you're walking along at night and you see the moon, then you move around quickly,still looking at it as if you're controlling it.

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When you like your own comment or status', but then you feel kind of pathetic for doing it so you unlike it.

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Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

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When posting these, I'm rarely able to read the words/letters in the box that prove you're human and not some computer virus. Now I'm starting to think I'm not a human......

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Lightly touching your stomach or other body parts with your fingers to get that tickling sensation.

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When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

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Feel bad about hurting someone a long time ago, when I was a child, and wish I could speak to that person and say "I'm sorry." Cringe whenever the thought of the incident rises.

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Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

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think of who i would kill if i found out i only had a few weeks to live. i.e. sickest criminal alive.

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looking at the last page of thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com to see how weird some people are...

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feel like your calculator is judging/making fun of you for looking up simple equations

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Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

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Realized with 7 billion people, there is a chance that someone else on earth is doing exactly the same thing as me at any given time.

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Read things from this page and think to self: "Thank God, I thought I was the only one."

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Sniff or tap to a rhythm to some sort of beat I composed in my head...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.