Kill Jb without getting aressted.

I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

Go through a bunch of the boxes with the messed up letters (The ones making sure your not a robot) trying to find one you like. Then, click the refresh button and realize that the last one might have been the best one you were going to get.

I can't piss with my shoes on.

check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

Love to check my astrological compatibility with my favorite musicians.

You see someone do something cool and imagine doing it in front of all your friends

Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

I gotta get down of Friday

I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

When someone enters the room while i'm playing a game, start playing the best song of the game soundtrack so they notice it and think the game has a cool soundtrack.

worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

Never step on manholes, because I'm afraid to fall in.

I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

Go for a 10 mile run.

Going to the very last pages of "Things you think you only do" with the lowest ratings and realizing that they really are the only ones who do that stuff...

Wondering if your life is a TV show, and people are watching what you do.

Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.