Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

thumb_up thumb_down -94

Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

thumb_up thumb_down -100

I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

thumb_up thumb_down -110

see if I can hold my breath when walking down a long hallway

thumb_up thumb_down -112

When you're walking along at night and you see the moon, then you move around quickly,still looking at it as if you're controlling it.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

Playing a sad song that talks about your current situation and then looking in the mirror or out the window pretending you are in a sad music video.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Wondering if your life is a TV show, and people are watching what you do.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Sitting on a toilet in a public bathroom and staying silent until everyone leaves, so you do not feel the embarrassment

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Wipe the salt off your hand on your right pant leg after eating salty fries from fast food restaurants.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Sometimes when you're at work and you're REALLY horny, you look around at the women you work with and think who you really would like to bone, then on another particular day when you aren't horny, you see the same women and think to yourself " I must have REALLY been horny. What was I thinking?" lol (not trying to be gross, but honestly, who doesn't get horny while at work sometimes)

thumb_up thumb_down +5

i feel all weird and sad when i thing about my old belongings.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Sometimes when I'm laughing really hard I awkwardly clap my hands.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

While I Am on the computer late at night, my Mum tells me to go to bed, I say I will in a second. I stay for a few more minutes, my mum tells me again, I do the same thing...

thumb_up thumb_down -1

(I have made this mistake mostly when I'm at the movies) When the cashier gives me the ticket and says enjoy the movie because I am so used to people saying have a nice day I say you too!(FACE PALM)

thumb_up thumb_down -5

my favorite singer is Bles Bridges 22/07/1947-24/03/2000

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I like to watch people and imagine different stories that could explain why they're doing whatever it is that their doing.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Listening to my iPod with other people walking by me or sitting near me and feeling mysterious and cool.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

take 2 coffes in 2 seconds cause dont remember the first coffee! o.O

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.