I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

Cringe when remembering something weird about you that happened years ago

Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

When I was younger I used to think that Red bull was a drink that really did give you wings like they show in the commercials

Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

I rehearse arguments in my head.

sometimes *sigh* sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

Use an entirely different vocabulary in your head than everyday life.

I have memorized my drivers license registration number

Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

Thinking your life is a movie...

When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

When passed by a very attractive girl in the street, turn around and look after her and/or follow her to the next street corner, in order to grasp more of her beauty.

Think that when you're reading something or watching tv some people somewhere are knowing what your watching or whether or not you understand what you just read so you don't wanna reread it to risk looking stupid.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.