Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

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Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

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Thinking your life is a movie...

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When I'm watching something interesting on TV, sometimes i realize they I'm making a weird face so i make sure that i make my face go back to its normal position. This way, my face won't get stuck like that

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Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

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Thinking about a situation someone else in the world might be in. For example, Someone dying and the pain they must be going through.

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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Tap my fingers really rapidly when I'm annoyed, stressed out, fed up or angry.

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Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

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stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

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I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

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Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

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Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

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I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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I pee in the sink so i don't have to aim

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i try to spit onto my line of piss while going to the toilet.

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I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

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Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

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I thought I was disgusting until I read the top voted things here. Floral: Actually pretty neat.

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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I have a phobia of incest

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Sometimes when someone says something to me, I will hear them perfectly clear, but I will instinctively say "what?"

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Run faster down hotel corridors.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.