Kill Jb without getting aressted.

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I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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Go through a bunch of the boxes with the messed up letters (The ones making sure your not a robot) trying to find one you like. Then, click the refresh button and realize that the last one might have been the best one you were going to get.

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I can't piss with my shoes on.

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check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

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Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

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Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

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Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

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Love to check my astrological compatibility with my favorite musicians.

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You see someone do something cool and imagine doing it in front of all your friends

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Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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I gotta get down of Friday

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I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

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When someone enters the room while i'm playing a game, start playing the best song of the game soundtrack so they notice it and think the game has a cool soundtrack.

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worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

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Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

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Never step on manholes, because I'm afraid to fall in.

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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

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Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

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Go for a 10 mile run.

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Going to the very last pages of "Things you think you only do" with the lowest ratings and realizing that they really are the only ones who do that stuff...

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Wondering if your life is a TV show, and people are watching what you do.

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Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.