Wake up after a dream. About a day later you think about if it was real or not.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Right before I go to the dentist I brush my teeth.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

I always try to play it cool and act like it’s no big deal. But I always have a mini anxiety attack before actually stepping onto a moving escalator. It is a task trying to time my step perfectly where my foot isn’t hanging off a step and I have to hurry my second foot on there isn’t an awdward space of steps between my feet. -Ikka

thumb_up thumb_down -25

When ever i hear music that i like i imagine im in a fight and i know martial arts with people i dont know

thumb_up thumb_down -25

I drive in the car then suddenly awake from a day dream and realize ive driven for the last 4 miles with no recollection of the journey.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

I used to eat bath bubbles

thumb_up thumb_down -25

I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

thumb_up thumb_down -27

For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

When I'm home alone at night I check around the corners to make sure there isn't anyone there

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Stop at the beginning of an escalator, and let the stairs drag you forward by just your toes.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

I talk to inanimate objects daily.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

When A situation Doesn't go how I wanted it to go, It annoys me so much I sometimes shit in my hands and clap.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Drum on the chair between your legs and wonder if people think that you're playing with yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

thumb_up thumb_down -41

I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down -45

when im in the toilet and invent something in my mind and dont have a pen and paper to wright my invention and when im done i forget about it...

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

thumb_up thumb_down -45

When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

When I'm watching a movie I have already seen I hope for a different ending but soon realize it won't happen

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.