Never step on manholes, because I'm afraid to fall in.

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

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Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

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masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

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Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.

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Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

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looking at the last page of thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com to see how weird some people are...

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That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

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Leave the fan on at night just in case you feel to warm.

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Hate when people ask "do you have a bathroom?" It's like "no we crap in the yard!"

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Think that the person driving keeps staring at me when ever they look in the mirror and I'm sat in the back.

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When I am bored and home alone, I sometimes try to recreate the most annoying sound in the world from Dumb and Dumber. (P.S. Sorry if this was already submitted, I didn't see it.)

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Save more than once on your favourite game.

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Tip my couch over to dig for something I have lost and then end up finding a bunch of random crap.

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Complimenting a girl awkwardly,and then smiling stupidly later and thinking of alternate versions of the conversation that happened!!

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <<

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When I am making submissions to this site I sometimes accidentally put them in the comment section

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When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

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When I'm walking on pavement or tiles I always make patterns, e.g stepping on every second tile, stepping a certain amount of times on each bit of pavement

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Poking my self under the covers just to not falleth asleepeth (t -_-)zzzzzz

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When peeing at a urinal, move my stream back and forth the coat as much of the wall as I can.

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sometimes when im in the shower and i hear the slightest bump i look behind the curtains to see if anyone is about to scare me

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when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.