Sometimes when I'm laughing really hard I awkwardly clap my hands.

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freak out if poster or pictures eyes are looking at me and can't have pictures in my room of famous people, however if I'm out and scared i have to have the pictures on my phone look at me for safety.....really wondering if any one else has this

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It takes me a whole afternoon to write an important/professional email cause i keep thinking about what I should and should not write and it gets so stupidly difficult I take one hour breaks between every sentence.

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Without thinking i ask questions i know the answer to

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Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

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Taking your headphones/earbuds off a lot to see if your music is playing loudly. Or to see if other people could possibly hear it

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Opening the fridge door, then trying to accomplish pouring a drink, before the door seals itself forever leaving the cola to the mercy of the outside world.

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taking your t shirt or sweatshirt off quickly so nothing gets you while its over your face

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I don't use my car air conditioning because I think it's wasteful and it might "run-out" when I'm REALLY, REALLY hot.

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I probably am the only one who does this but I climb on my cat's cat tree to see what it's like to be a cat o.o

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I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

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I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

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Pulling the same faces as the character you are reading currently is.

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I spin around in a spot, and then close my eyes and tilt my head up and to the opposite side i'm spinning to. It just feels awesome and it's even better while listening to music.

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Get extremly pissed off when everyone on youtube thinks that only guys use the website and call you "dude" , "bro" or "sir" when they respond to a comment you posted -_-

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Sometimes when I look at a clock the seconds hand ticks backwards

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

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in a grocery store, only walking on the colored single tiles the entire time your in there pretending there small cliffs without touching the white one otherwise you fall and fail.

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Point your finger to the sky when your favorite song comes on in the club or the radio

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Try to figure out if some of the posts were written by the same person.

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only read the short jokes on this website

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.