At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

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Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

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Constantly refresh your email page even though you know nothing will appear.

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When no one is around, kick a push door open to feel like a badass.

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Do a little half laugh, then when someone looks at you, you realise that it wasn't even funny so you pretend to be clearing your throat.

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Think that my ice tastes different than my water.

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When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

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Say something smart in class, then worry your friends will rip ony uo for it half way through saying it, so end it by saying "or something like that."

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Sometimes I get annoyed when I realize none of my friends ever eat vegetables or drink anything but sugary soda`s and are somehow as healthy, sometimes even healthier than me.

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I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

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Use my phone to see what time it is

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If I'm at work and have to poop, when I get in the stall I look under the opening at the bottom for any other feet in the other stalls to make sure I am alone. I always think what if when I do that someone else does it at the same time.

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Anytime I walk in anyplace with cracks in the ground (tiled floors, cement squares, etc.) I do my best to avoid stepping on cracks in fear of something happening if I do.

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You think about all the stupid things you did in elementary school and avoid anyone who went to your elementary school in high school.

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I chew my ice cream.

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When I am bored and home alone, I sometimes try to recreate the most annoying sound in the world from Dumb and Dumber. (P.S. Sorry if this was already submitted, I didn't see it.)

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When it's as quiet as possible in the classroom in the middle of the period and everyone is silently doing their work.... I suddenly think of something REALLY funny and spend the next half hour awkwardly grinning trying my hardest not to burst out uncontrollably.

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Turn off light in bed... notice something you haven't seen before. IT'S SLENDERMAN You turn the light back on and realized it was a lamp

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Pretend to listen to music, but just do it so nobody talks to me or i simply just ignore them.

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i feel all weird and sad when i thing about my old belongings.

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Doing something, and someone asks you what you're doing, and you realize you can't remember. Then they walk off and the instant they're gone, you remember.

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Try stick to something but fail in the end

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when i wake up from a dream and it was an amazing dream. then i try to fall back asleep to have it again...it doesn't work

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When you have a stuffy nose, and you put tissue in one nostril so you can breathe.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.