- Things You Think Only You Do

Feels my beard with my tongue.

Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

I drive in the car then suddenly awake from a day dream and realize ive driven for the last 4 miles with no recollection of the journey.

Have a sudden urge to say "bomb" at an airport.

If i read or see something good (on tv )the next time i daydream i am always some how involved in it

When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

When a book is boring, i will think of my favouite song and then i will start singing the book, like i will look at the words and ligit, start singing them in my favourite tune~im so weird

Sometimes I find myself staring at the television only to realize its off.

When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

doesn't eat meal until desired tv show starts.

Turn shower water all the way up hot before getting out because it feels good

I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

try to rip the top off an Oreo without messing up the cream and then if the cream comes out on both parts not wanting to eat the Oreo because its wrong.

I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

When I walking the same direction as other people, I secretly race them and do the sports commentry in my head

whenever someone pulls up beside you in another car, you are fully aware of them, but never look at them, your too cool to care what they look like.

When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

Turn the door knob while closing the door ...so it doesn't make a loud noise.

try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.