I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

I lift my butt when I'm farting

I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

when im in the toilet and invent something in my mind and dont have a pen and paper to wright my invention and when im done i forget about it...

When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

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Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

When I'm watching a movie I have already seen I hope for a different ending but soon realize it won't happen

When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

I Masturbate Daily.

sometimes *sigh* sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

getting excited when you find a recycled tissue in your robe/sweatshirt so you don't know have to get up to get one yourself?

Believing in the kindness of strangers

I have autofocus in my eyes.

Being fat

Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

Everytime aplane is flying low you think it's going to crash right in front of your eyes

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.