- Things You Think Only You Do

When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

If my SOLVE media is too long I refresh it to give me a shorter one

When I walking the same direction as other people, I secretly race them and do the sports commentry in my head

I have shown up for a first date in a friends POS car instead of my own to see if she is too materialistic

jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

walking up steps in the dark and you think you've gotten to the top but there's actually one more step and you panic because you think your going to fall

I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

When I was younger I used to think that Red bull was a drink that really did give you wings like they show in the commercials

Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

I rehearse arguments in my head.

Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

sometimes sigh sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

Use an entirely different vocabulary in your head than everyday life.

I have memorized my drivers license registration number

I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.