Sleep with pillow between legs

thumb_up thumb_down

I don't care about who a celebrity dates or marries. Why should I?

thumb_up thumb_down

A lot of times I believe things I see or things that happen are "signs" of something.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Think that some minutes feel shorter than others

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whenever I hear a baby or a young child scream very loud, I imagine that their head will explode.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Look at adigital clock sideways when in bed while tryingto sleep and try to make the numbers look like faces

thumb_up thumb_down -8

I mean Diana Ross.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

When someone close to me sadly passes on and later when I am listening to the radio if I hear a song that sounds suitable to that moment I kind of make that our song if that makes sense to any of you

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I watch American football with the sound down low because the announcers are always trying to tell us that we didn't see what we just saw when the referees make bad calls

thumb_up thumb_down -12

cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

thumb_up thumb_down -14

When I have my headphones in, and I'm miming the words to a song in the bathroom pretending that I'm playing a gig. I put the tap on to make sure no one hears me dancing.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Try to think of something nice then thinks of then scariest things.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Listening to my iPod with other people walking by me or sitting near me and feeling mysterious and cool.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

When I'm at home alone, I feel like people are watching me through my windows, so I act completely civil.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Guessing on those annoying Captcha things and then getting unnecessarily angry when it tells you you're wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Learning a definition of a word and after that seeing it everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

When you need something from someone and you forget what it's called,So then you have to awkwardly explain it.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

When I see a post on this site with a single downvote I start to feel guilty and give the person an upvote because I feel sorry for them.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Toss something across the room toward the place it belongs, get excited when it lands upright/ perfectly in place, then immediately regret you weren't recording it.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

When I was a kid and I misbehaved when my dad used to smack me I would put emphasis in my cries to let him think that I got the lesson.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

In the shower i let water run down my hands so it looks like i'm shooting water out of my fingers.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.