Discovering your friend is an indian (Nicole)

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sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

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When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

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When someone wants to kill a bug, I'll get insane and catch the bug, then run out and release the bug while saying "NOW YOU'RE FREE!!!!!"

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

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Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

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Wondering if your life is a TV show, and people are watching what you do.

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looking at the last page of thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com to see how weird some people are...

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Sometimes after a long, hard day or when something bad happens I just sit down and cry in the shower.

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look for old friends on facebook to see what they are up to now

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Pretend to listen to music, but just do it so nobody talks to me or i simply just ignore them.

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If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

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I rate certain songs on my iPod higher than others because if someone else is checking out my playlists, I don't want them knowing how much I really love that super cheesy song from the early 90's (even though every time it comes on, I hit repeat at least 3 times and sing aloud as loudly as I think I can get away with. I really, really love that song!).

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <<

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Right after moving to a new place I check my room for hidden cameras.

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I pee on the bathroom sink everytime, because I am lazy to open the toilet, even when I visit other people, sorry friends and family =)

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I love touching, squeezing and occasionally biting my dog's (read: any dog's) muzzle. I love the texture and the gummy-ness. I also love how pissed he gets when I do it and sneezes after.

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I like to watch people and imagine different stories that could explain why they're doing whatever it is that their doing.

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You always go to the corner of the shower when the cold water is running.

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fart then blame it on the guy next to me realizing theres no one near me and everyone looks at me....awkward

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.