Right after moving to a new place I check my room for hidden cameras.

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play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

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After eating a banana I leave the last bit that was in the bottom

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(I have made this mistake mostly when I'm at the movies) When the cashier gives me the ticket and says enjoy the movie because I am so used to people saying have a nice day I say you too!(FACE PALM)

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My bedroom is at the end of the house, so when I turn the light out and sprint to the lounge room, thinking Jeff the Killer could get me...

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Feeling sorry for inanimate objects

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Help my dogs eat their dinner....I think the whole time, "If they only had thumbs".....

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Sometimes, when I'm at work, I j3rk 0ff in the bathroom. Please tell me someone else has done this????

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Pretend i'm a sim.

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recycle the peanuts in my poop to make organic peanut butter

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I have a feeling that life is a Video Game for another Universe. When the player looks at their computer screen, they see what I see. They control everything I do. Like The Sims games. Everyone else is either other players in a multiplayer server, or they are are all fake, computer players.

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when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

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sitting in the passenger seat of the car, move my head around gently to guide a piece of dirt on the window in the foreground around the obstacle course of trees, streetlights etc in the background. Also, imagine my eyes are projecting lasers which cut through anything and carve the passing world up to my design.

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While in bed, I cover my head with my bed sheets because it makes me feel safe from monsters.

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Sometimes I find myself staring at the television only to realize its off.

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Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

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My daily agenda: wake up take a crap get out of bed...

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When calling someone you hang up after 3 or 4 rings because you're tired of waiting rather than it being time to leave a message.

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I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

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I always ask myself "Why am I me?". But have never come up with a good answer.

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Play with my own boobs for no reason

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Not vote up my own posts? I bet I'm among the few..

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go to the search engine suggestions and see what people found, then type them in to see if you get the same results

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I pretend that my pillow is the love of my life and kiss it and cuddle it before bed.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.