i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

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I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

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Being fat

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Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

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Everytime aplane is flying low you think it's going to crash right in front of your eyes

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that time where you open the fridge door and stare at it for like 10 min then close it and walk away?

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Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

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Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

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Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

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I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

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Text random people saying I'm pregnant

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

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right after I turn the shower off I jump up and down to get rid of the extra water all over me...

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When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

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I pee in the shower. :3

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turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

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After eating a banana I leave the last bit that was in the bottom

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Use my phone to see what time it is

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Sing along to the radio in the car then stop at a red light when you realize other people can see you more easily.

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I really enjoy spending my birthday alone. I never told anyone that.

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Sometimes, for no real reason, I'll make strange or funny noises when no one is around.

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When I dont feel like sweeping I sweep the stuff under the fridge or something

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(I have made this mistake mostly when I'm at the movies) When the cashier gives me the ticket and says enjoy the movie because I am so used to people saying have a nice day I say you too!(FACE PALM)

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At night, everytime when i walk past that curtain lampost, it goes off.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.