I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

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What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

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Know almost every line from spongbob episodes.

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When I post a picture on a Horsehead Huffer site that I made on Microsoft Paint, and it ends up being one of those that never load, I go back on Paint and save it again. Then I repost it, and it works.

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Stare at something long enough thinking it will eventually move.

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send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

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Everytime aplane is flying low you think it's going to crash right in front of your eyes

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I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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I **** with no hands.

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Whenever I think of something creative or weird, I always wonder if someone thought of the same thing.

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I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

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Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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taking a shit while brushing my teeth.

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Never step on manholes, because I'm afraid to fall in.

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Go for a 10 mile run.

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When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

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While at the movies, grab and eat your popcorn with your tongue and pretend you are a lizard.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.