When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

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I just saw the D in Disney for the first time ever. My brain always saw a backwards G. I knew it was supposed to be a D, I just never bothered to fix it. There has been a G there my whole life.

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Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

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I have walked into a sliding glass door

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I use the internet to validate that weirdness is not actually weird at all.

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Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

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Spend countless hours looking at cars online I know I'll never be able to afford

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fart and talk thinking it will cover the smell

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as soon as i put some mint gum in my mouth, i sneeze countless times.

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Thinking about life as if its just a dream and wondeing if one day your just going to wake up and be like " wtf just happend".....

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(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

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in a grocery store, only walking on the colored single tiles the entire time your in there pretending there small cliffs without touching the white one otherwise you fall and fail.

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When I walking the same direction as other people, I secretly race them and do the sports commentry in my head

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When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

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Whilst passing a mega dump or room clearer as my brother calls them I come up with songs...sometimes in spanish

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Kill Jb without getting aressted.

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Left alone Big noise, people aren't expected back as soon so grab baseball bat and charge only to find them back early...."what you doing?" "batting my socks around practising my baseball skills"

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Make calculations with house number. Eg: House nº 112 means house nº 4

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I can't piss with my shoes on.

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I pee in the sink so i don't have to aim

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When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

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Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

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When I wait for something to load, I right click and then quickly try to drag a box around the right click box before it disappears. Then I try to right click and drag and see if I can outline the right click box before it appears.

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stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.