I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

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I never read the terms and conditions but I say I have

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You pretend to fight imaginary people while no ones looking:/ But you look like the star wars kid...

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Only one tissue left in the box... I'll just use toilet paper.

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Get bored of regular porn and watch some bestiality just for the variation.

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Sometimes I think of doing really bad things and smirk, only to later regret even thinking of it and start questioning myself while feeling bad about it.

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Playing hide-and-seek and finding the best spot ever, only to realize you have to pee

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get really paranoid when you're in a shop's changing room and try and make sure the curtain is fully closed so nobody can see in

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Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

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Wonder what random strangers look like or noises and such they make while having sex. Everyone literally. People you interact with at work , customers, your boss, the married couple. Except for people who are like dirty looking af. Our just straight up ugly. Then your like grossed out by those thoughts your having and start getting that home sickfeeling in your stomach. Almost like butterflies but like dead ones or something. Hard to explain.

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Whenever someone enters a pin number I always try to see how many number I can remember

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When I haven't looked in a mirror for a while, I worry that I look awful, and when I get to a mirror, I'm like "Oh yeah, that's what I look like".

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Listening to music walking through town and feeling like you're in a music video

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Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

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Get excited when your friends think your favorite song is cool.

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I hold in my shit only because i am soo occupied with my current task.

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I giggle in my head when anyone says duty.

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Going through a lot of Deja Vu lately, it feels like you have another life before this one.

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I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

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I eat something and read book/newspaper/magazine at the same time. Then i take food crumbs off the book and eat them too.

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call someone by a siblings name.

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If people knew what I am really thinking about while they are talking to me... YIKES!

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When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.