Pretend I'm a back-up dancer or singing a duet with the singer of the song I'm listening to.

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I'm in the middle of a good dream but I wake up and try to go back to sleep to finish it when it never happens.

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Thinking that out there, on this earth in a lost city, there is an awesome clone of you.

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get really freaked out when your in a parking lot and the car next to you starts backing up and you think your moving forward.

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hover over public toilets and end up leaving a sprinkling of pee that lands uniformly all over on the seat then use a big wad of TP and my foot to wipe down the seat.

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I sometime's wonder if other people can see and feel everything I can but are just in my body too judge me.

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If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

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Sometimes I toot.

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I mean Diana Ross.

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play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

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When i talk i say i like how or i hate that.

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When I am making submissions to this site I sometimes accidentally put them in the comment section

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Sometimes, for no real reason, I'll make strange or funny noises when no one is around.

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I watch American football with the sound down low because the announcers are always trying to tell us that we didn't see what we just saw when the referees make bad calls

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Press cancel on your toaster before it finishes so that you can eat faster

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Playing hide-and-seek and finding the best spot ever, only to realize you have to pee

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How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

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Whenever I get sweaty I put baby powder around my groin area and under arms. Ramos

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Learning a definition of a word and after that seeing it everywhere.

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shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

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I always have to remake my bed right before going to sleep in it

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When I dont feel like sweeping I sweep the stuff under the fridge or something

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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Close all the windows on my computer when parents walk in.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.