Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

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When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

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I refuse to take dump with the shower curtain closed. I know someone's behind it...

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Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

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I'm ridiculously turned on by the scent nail polish.

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Sometimes I look at security cameras and start to act suspiciously like I'm up to something... but really... I'm not.

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I hold in my shit only because i am soo occupied with my current task.

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Think about the same confusing random dilemas that dont involve me every week and alwaus come to the same conclusion

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I use the internet to validate that weirdness is not actually weird at all.

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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i put a empty pack of cigarettes under my pillow and hoped the cigarette fairy would come when i was asleep

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Only read the shortest sentences on "Things You Think Only You Do". More than 2 sentences I skip.

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Hide important things in places at home but forget later where you hid them.

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fart and talk thinking it will cover the smell

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Touching that door knob three times before opening the door.

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Look in the fridge 10 times without eating anything

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forget to breathe while listening to ear buds too loudly.

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Listening to more obscure music in a public place and turning it up in hopes that someone will ask you what you're listening to and you can tell them about it/open their minds.

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Still record on VHS tapes.

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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You take showers on school morning because you like to stand there under the hot water just thinking about life while your warm

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carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

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try to give your friends spirit animals

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i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.