Wanting to change your name to Peter Jankins

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sometimes i mouth improvised, ridiculous sentences in the mirror to see what i look like when i talk to people

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When I look at a clear blue sky, I'm convinced that I see little tiny floaty things, and think that I'm seeing air molecules.

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I still put my thumb in my mouth, BUT only because I like the feel of putting my eye lashes under my fingernails and my thumb inconveniantly fits in my mouth. Now I know I'm the only person in the world who does this. I'm trying to drop the habit. But it feels so GOOD!

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taking your t shirt or sweatshirt off quickly so nothing gets you while its over your face

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Sometimes hold a piece of chocolate between your fingers until it melts then lick the yummy gooeyness off your fingers

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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Walking around on the streets wondering if you are really walking in place, and the earth is spinning according to how you walk, like a treadmill.

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When I was a kid and I misbehaved when my dad used to smack me I would put emphasis in my cries to let him think that I got the lesson.

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Sometimes I look at security cameras and start to act suspiciously like I'm up to something... but really... I'm not.

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When ever i hear music that i like i imagine im in a fight and i know martial arts with people i dont know

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Knowing and feeling that the whole world is out to get me............ And only me......... I know.......... Weird right??????

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I got a lot of high rated entries, but they dont contain Moral: This.

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I hold in my shit only because i am soo occupied with my current task.

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Every time you use a vending machine you hope you get lucky and 2 things drop down.

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I say that girl's name I have a crush on right before I go to sleep because I want her to be the last thing I think about, and then wake up realizing that it was super creepy... Only to do it again the next night

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I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

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wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

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see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

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Reading all these posts and being reminded that we are all more similar to each other than we think, regardless of whatever group each of us may belong to.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Walk around downtown and spot good camping spots or sniping spots, cause life is a FPS.

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

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I make weird crazy faces at myself in the mirror whenever I leave the bathroom.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.