Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

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When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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When I fap at friends house, I use mobile data instead of his wifi incase history can be seen

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I thought I was disgusting until I read the top voted things here. Floral: Actually pretty neat.

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say "ow" when your character in a video game gets hurt

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Sometimes I wonder if my life is a dream and oneday I'll wake up as a newborn baby

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feel like your calculator is judging/making fun of you for looking up simple equations

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i always think people can hear my thoughts.

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It takes half as long to take a dump if I forget my phone.

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Glance at your friend beside you, smile to yourself, and think, "I could murder them."

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Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

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I chew my ice cream.

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While I Am on the computer late at night, my Mum tells me to go to bed, I say I will in a second. I stay for a few more minutes, my mum tells me again, I do the same thing...

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Having a deja vu, swearing you've seen something before.

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I wonder if elections are rigged?

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get annoyed when the pop-up lid on the dish soap bottle is left up

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When I am making toast I spread the butter or jam with a spoon

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When I dry my hair after showering I put a towel on my head and look at the mirror pretending I am a mighty naked sheik.

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I stick used soap to a new soap so I don't waste it.

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Fantasize a situation that turns you into a person with superpowers or something.

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When i go into a public toilet and one of the cubical doors is slightly shut, I will be really quiet or slightly push the door to see if anyone is in there.

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shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

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Justin Beiber is a woman

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Accidentally scratching a surface and then scratching it again with the tops of your fingernails to even it out.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.