I pretend to get future messages. Like when I'm about to have a bad subject. I get a message from future me telling present me like 'Oh god. Yeah, brace yourself for science today.'

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How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

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Whenever I get sweaty I put baby powder around my groin area and under arms. Ramos

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Tear up when I poop

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shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

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Constantly looking up at a Facebook tab while on another tab to see if you have any notifications or messages.

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when your professor describes their wife or husband you imagine their wife or husband.

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Close all the windows on my computer when parents walk in.

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I used to eat bath bubbles

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When I see someone with similar hair to mine, I stare at them from behind and try to figure out if that's what I look like from the back.

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make sure you hit every crack in the sidewalk evenly. slowly over time, you discover that you found an awkward walking pace to match the obsession.

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When home alone and you hear a noise getting out a gun/weapon.

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While in bed, I cover my head with my bed sheets because it makes me feel safe from monsters.

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I can only play a piano with my right hand

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Eat the last bowl of ice cream. Then 6 hours later, you wish you hadn't. (sometimes even open the fridge and check whether you actually ate it or not)

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When people are walking behind me I automatically think they are staring at my ass and get self-conscious.

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I always ask myself "Why am I me?". But have never come up with a good answer.

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The only time I seem to look at the clock is when the numbers read my birth date.

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If I'm in the car looking for an address or a street name I'll turn down the radio. Why?

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No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

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Bored. Open refrigerator. Nothing to eat. Open it again five minutes later.

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I hid money in a jar behind a brick in the house I lived in and forgot about it. I've since moved to another state but I didn't remember I left the cash behind until years later.

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I strum my fingers on my other hand between the fingers on the other hand which is a fist to make a popping sound (Try it, it's really fun)

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Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.