Think about my life as a book when I'm in public, for example "I then walked over to my friend to say hello to him."

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Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

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I gotta get down of Friday

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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when you're walking down the streets and you listen to your iPod, you pretend you're part of the music video for that song and when no ones looking, lip sync to the lyrics, as if the camera man's filming you >.

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as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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get under the covers and curl up into a ball to get warm really fast

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Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

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When theres a car just like yours right next to your car in the parking lot you almoat always gravitate to that car instead. It's the worst when there people in the car and you keep trying to open it.

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When you cringe as you walk out of a store because you're paranoid the door will beep...

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I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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When i am home alone i think there are hidden cameras in my house and wave at objects that might conceal the camers to scare the people looking through them

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Say something smart in class, then worry your friends will rip ony uo for it half way through saying it, so end it by saying "or something like that."

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I DO wish I had the ability of the guy in the comment below me. Moral: Yeah I have to type moral down here, because its awesome and because whatever its awesome!

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Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

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I like to eat tomato soup and peanut butter sandwiches...its not as gross as it sounds

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Help my dogs eat their dinner....I think the whole time, "If they only had thumbs".....

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I watch American football with the sound down low because the announcers are always trying to tell us that we didn't see what we just saw when the referees make bad calls

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I don't care about who a celebrity dates or marries. Why should I?

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Pretend i'm a sim.

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Doing something private and think "What if my mom/dad/boss etc. saw me now?"

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I have the idea that i'm the only one who looks at this site.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.