When my girlfriend ask me what I am thinking about, I tell her I am thinking of all the great things about my last girlfriend.

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Try to time the traffic light so that when I snap, my light turns green. Always so so close.

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Think long and hard about something but then realise you don't care

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Go to the kitchen to eat, forget what I'm doing, go back to whatever I was doing, and realizing that I'm hungry.

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In the shower i let water run down my hands so it looks like i'm shooting water out of my fingers.

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I have to put the radio volume in multiples of three and my daughter has to put it in multiples of five so when we are together it either has to be on 15 or 30.

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I refuse to take dump with the shower curtain closed. I know someone's behind it...

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I imagine that there are lines coming out from things and I don't step on the lines (columns, buildings, walls, corners, etc.)

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when your professor describes their wife or husband you imagine their wife or husband.

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I wonder if old women enjoy sex?

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When i get a back shiver. That's when i know something bad going to happen.

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Have a sudden urge to say "bomb" at an airport.

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When I'm around people, I sometimes yell in my head "STOP READING MY MIND! I KNOW YOU'RE DOING IT, SO STOP!" just in case.

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Listening to music walking through town and feeling like you're in a music video

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If i read or see something good (on tv )the next time i daydream i am always some how involved in it

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When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

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After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

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Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

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Get turned on when you see a girl yawn

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Why are the rich so friggin unhappy?

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Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When people are walking behind me I automatically think they are staring at my ass and get self-conscious.

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humiliating little girls

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.