When im standing at a urinal and another guy was there before me and i still finish first i pretend like im still peeing so he wont think i have a bladder problem.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie)

thumb_up thumb_down -35

I always paranoidly think that someone else might see what I see through my eyes he can't hear what I hear and he can't smell what I smell he can only see and if I close my eyes he falls asleep automatically I try to avoid thinking this but that's impossible

thumb_up thumb_down -37

That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

thumb_up thumb_down -37

While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Drool a lil bit and continue eating...

thumb_up thumb_down -39

i fap in the bathroom because its the only room i have a reason to lock the door in.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

use tweezers to pull out leg hair or armpit hair out of sheer boredom.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Pass wind after i ate lasagna.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

A lot of times I'll make up reasons for why different things happen even though I really have absolutely no idea.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

after seeing toy story, and watching that toys moved and talked to each other when the humans werent around, thinking that toys are really like that when you gone, and when you go back to you room, the toys rush back into their spots.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

If I'm trying to read a clock or bulletin from far away, I instinctively stand and point at it.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Get really annoyed when something interrupts your yawn... then try and force yourself to complete the yawn

thumb_up thumb_down -47

When i'm home, I pretend i'm famous!

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Whenever I go to the toilet on an airplane I worry that during the time I'm there the plane will drop out the sky.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

I put a small amount of water in glasses and freeze them for hot days when I want a cool drink

thumb_up thumb_down -51

turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Pretend my life is a videogame.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

really wonder why there is so much talk about pooping and farting on this site

thumb_up thumb_down -55

eating a sandwich with strategically placed bites such that i get the same ratio of crust to tastier non-crust sandwich center in each bite. sometimes i just take two smaller bites of crust and center part so that i don't have to taste mostly bread crust in a mouthful.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Hoping if I fall asleep on the couch while my family is in the room I dont have a dream about sex and wake up moaning and groaning...

thumb_up thumb_down -59

think that your whole life is just a dream and that you're going to wake up someday

thumb_up thumb_down -61

get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

I ship Bolin and Korra as a romance and a bromance. Am I weird for doing this?

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.