Sometimes I'll think about something that's so weird nobody would ever do it, and then i figure there's a big chance somebody did it at least once in history.

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Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

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Stab myself on a daily basis

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when i use omegle u usually say im a girl, when a guy says how long is his thing, i say 'mine too' :D

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Getting secretly pissed off when people don't like your birthday post on their Facebook wall.

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Pull your headphones away from your ear when you're listening to music to see if it's too loud.

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Sometimes I try to solve a math problem using my finger and my thigh, and when I make a mistake a erase it with my hand.

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browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

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When I go to bed, I imagine how I would deal with intruders, then I can't sleep.

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Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

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Feel like puhing the crap out of people who talk loud in public places.

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Random strong urge to squeeze immensely cute pet.

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sometimes when i'm talking to myself and someone walks in the room i have to make them believe what i'm saying is a song!!

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I am a masculine guy but in private I listen to very sensitive songs. ie: careless wispers

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if your behind glass or a window and you see a group outside, imagine their conversation.

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I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

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Putting salt on dry toast, yum!

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Feel uncomfortable with the TV volume on an odd number

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I chuckle whenever I hear the phase "Stark raving mad." I don't know why.

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when i have a head or toothache...i hit it harder thinking it will stop or get better

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When in a public toilet, I never leave the cubicle until everyone is either out of the room or in their own cubicle.

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When im standing at a urinal and another guy was there before me and i still finish first i pretend like im still peeing so he wont think i have a bladder problem.

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Feeling self conscious about breathing to loudly

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while I am sitting on the toilet I play with it and waste the toilet paper and of course i just keep flushing it

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.