I sit up all night on the computer/xbox then when people ask if i have slept i just lie and say yes to avoid the drama.

thumb_up thumb_down +90

strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I often think about how I am a thing inside of a body

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Put a few bits of toilet paper in the toilet before having a poo so there is no splash!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

When I see someone with similar hair to mine, I stare at them from behind and try to figure out if that's what I look like from the back.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Sit at your desk at work and think to yourself "is this it? I feel like I was meant for something bigger, like being an actor or a real life hero." then you look around you and feel bad because you feel like you dumped on everyone else who seem happy wih their lives. Then you go back to your boring desk job anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Really really happy that resisted getting a facebook or twitter account

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

See my "double reflection" in 2 mirrors and then get freaked out for a good ten minutes that my usual image of myself is actually the flipped version...

thumb_up thumb_down -44

When you can't hear your friend, but you nodd your head and snicker, hoping it was a joke

thumb_up thumb_down -48

When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

Go through a bunch of the boxes with the messed up letters (The ones making sure your not a robot) trying to find one you like. Then, click the refresh button and realize that the last one might have been the best one you were going to get.

thumb_up thumb_down -70

when you're walking down the streets and you listen to your iPod, you pretend you're part of the music video for that song and when no ones looking, lip sync to the lyrics, as if the camera man's filming you >.

thumb_up thumb_down -82

thinking your pants are wet when you only just sat down for a long time

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I always feel as if someone is always watching me on a screen where ever I am, and every person in the world is also being watched as well

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Lay in bed , and think what i could of said while i was talking to my crush or what could of happen.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I refuse to imagine good things happening to me, because if I did, it won't come true and I end up being suck at everything.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

When I am drinking coffee and I am nearly finished I swish the coffee to get the last of the sugar

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Look into your neighbor's house and halucinate someone watching back

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Have arguments with yourself about what to wear, where you put that other shoe, whether to get out of bed, etc. Just get up! No, you do it! You're the one who set the alarm! Ughhhhh I hate you!!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

pee when you are dreaming haha lol

thumb_up thumb_down -19

when im alone i pretend to sniper zombies out my bedroom window

thumb_up thumb_down -29

After eating a sandwich, eat the leftover sesame seeds one-by-one.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.