- Things You Think Only You Do

I always get paranoid when I go to take a shit because I leave the computer on and somebody comes in the room where the computer is.

Slowly close the fridge door to see when the light bulb turns off.

I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

when i was i kid i use to do the balloon trick where you rubit on your head then when there is enough put it on a wooden floor and while it's followin me i put my hands out and pretended that i was controlling it

scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

Become self-conscious and wonder if you were making faces while day dreaming during the middle of class.

accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

When eating chips I always look at each side before eating it to choose which side will taste better

Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

When i am home alone i think there are hidden cameras in my house and wave at objects that might conceal the camers to scare the people looking through them

Anytime I walk in anyplace with cracks in the ground (tiled floors, cement squares, etc.) I do my best to avoid stepping on cracks in fear of something happening if I do.

While listening to music, I take my headphones off to make sure nobody else can hear it.

Delete the whole password when I mess up only the one letter.

Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

think that the NSA is always watching what you do online at any time you are even connected.

Getting over excited when you hear a song you like on the radio, even though you have it on your Ipod and can listen to it whenever you want.

When listening to headphones, I automatically start lip syncing the lyrics... But stop doing it when people look at me funny..

Pee in the shower

Try to think of something nice then thinks of then scariest things.

When im standing at a urinal and another guy was there before me and i still finish first i pretend like im still peeing so he wont think i have a bladder problem.

When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

start planning Halloween costumes on November first.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.