Set Fire to the Rain

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Never tell her who I was talking to on the phone and watch her nosy butt get upset

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you turn the dial on your microwave until it reaches as far as it can go

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Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

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Look at every individual line on my hands and see if they are identicle

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When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

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I violate and then kill people, all ages and kinds... ..:But everyone does that right? I mean... Lol, I just type that because I am insecure now, and I kill when I am insecure... ...Excuse me.

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While talking on the phone you can't think of anything to say then it gets awkwardly quiet

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Mix up "I'm starving," "I'm freezing," and "I have to pee," in my head, and then say them out loud the wrong way, in times of extreme starving/freezing/needing-to-pee desperation.

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I like wet humping better than f*cking. but sometimes it slips in anyway, and it's that's pretty enjoyable too. and mt girlfriend is cool with. ... so it's actualy pretty whatevs either way. but wet humping is my jam.

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I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

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I brush my teeth with the tap on because it sounds weird brushing in silence.

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~When you turn around, somebody is already looking at you; something is probably on your face. (I know they look at you because you would look at anybody turning around, but I just hate it)

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Sometimes I worry that my life is just someones dream and that I'm not real.

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Say something in my head, but then wonder if i said it out loud and just didn't realize.

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get annoyed when people talk on the phone really loudly in front of the TV, forcing you to mute your show, resulting in you missing half of what the people are saying.

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If I get lost while driving, the first thing I do is turn down the radio.

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Read this site's posts, think of something awesome to write but then forget it because you decided to read more and finish the page rather than write it immediately.

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while i'm doing something,i think a suitable soundtrack for it.

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Always run up the stairs as if someone was chasing you.

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Do a little half laugh, then when someone looks at you, you realise that it wasn't even funny so you pretend to be clearing your throat.

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make it a point of interest to know every word to a song that nobody likes. (i.e. call me maybe) >.>

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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Seeing an acquaintance who you would feel awkward talking to in a public place, knowing they see you as well, and pretending not to see them, while hoping they pretend not to see you as well.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.