on hot summer days when I exit the shower I only dry off my legs to the point where they aren't dripping but my leg hair is still wet.

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While watching a movie, I hold my breath whenever there is a scene with the main character underwater just to see how long i would last in that situation.

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When I drive I cut corners even at low speeds so that the people behind me think I am experienced race car driver.

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Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

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I don't know why but I really wish I can ride a bike or drive a car through a shopping mall.

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When I'm laying in bed and I feel my heartbeat, I turn around so I can't feel it because it makes me feel sick.

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Sometimes I think ''Someone somewhere in the world just got slapped'' or ''Someone just took a nasty shit''.

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When Im going to sleep , I try to think of good things so I wont think of scary things

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See my "double reflection" in 2 mirrors and then get freaked out for a good ten minutes that my usual image of myself is actually the flipped version...

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When i'm home, I pretend i'm famous!

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Showering with my uncle Jarrett <3

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Hit the off button on the microwave three times to simulate the sound it makes when time is up.

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When I was younger I used to think that Red bull was a drink that really did give you wings like they show in the commercials

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Take baths

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

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Pretend my life is a videogame.

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Unable to be near my cat without petting her or talking to her.

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Mix up "I'm starving," "I'm freezing," and "I have to pee," in my head, and then say them out loud the wrong way, in times of extreme starving/freezing/needing-to-pee desperation.

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Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

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I imagine myself having a superpower that could make people see from my point of view. I would just have to lay a hand on them, and suddenly they would understand who I really am.

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When it is raining and a sad song comes on the radio, I look out the window and pretend I am in a movie. -Cocobear

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Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

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When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

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Wave my hand at automatic doors just as they open pretending that I have Jedi powers

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.