I enjoy my company, I love myself, which is contagious, people around me enjoy my company, and love themselves. Moral: Thumb me down and prove you are a sad fuck TODAY!

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This song will not come out of my head!

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My daily agenda: wake up take a crap get out of bed...

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pluck dried pieces of poop in your butt hair

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When a person tells you: Oh you like Lana Del Rey? Me:No,I like the wall

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Every new years eve I like to watch the date on my computer change all three the day, the month, and the year

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When I used to go on car rides at night I would look up at the moon and I would think it was following us.

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After brushing my teeth I used to suck the water from it

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Sitting on the toilet and feel devastated I forgot my smartphone and then spending the rest of my time on the toilet thinking about how boring it is without my smartphone.

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Drink half the water in a water bottle and then swish it around pretending to drown little people inside it.

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When bored you watch the minute hand on a clock and try to see if you can see it move

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Use the letters on my phone to make words to help me remember important numbers

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speak proper english

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i always think people can hear my thoughts.

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You look over the edge of a tall building/structure, and have that sudden urge to jump off.

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While listening to music, I take my headphones off to make sure nobody else can hear it.

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Read something strange and funny that you don't actually do, then say: "whaat?" And lough and everyone around you just look at you not knowing why you're talking to yourself an laughing.

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I always thought Diane Ross sang '76 why don't ya babe, get out my life why don't ya babe'.

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Check the shower before you pee to make sure nothing is waiting there to literally get you with your pants down.

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Put a few bits of toilet paper in the toilet before having a poo so there is no splash!

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Read posts on this website and realize there are a lot of weirdos in the world.

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Imagine that other people can see what im doing, then try to act differently.

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Think about having sex with the dog. You wouldn't, but what if you did?

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when you are you a self flushing urinal/toilet you think it is a tiny camera and think someone is watching you so you rush to finish using the bathroom

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.