I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

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Showering with my uncle Jarrett <3

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When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

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Go up/down the stairs in 10 steps exactly. Talk to an imaginary girlfriend when I'm guilty of something, and she helps me out and holds me till I fall asleep.

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I feel that there is something sinister going on in government

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Not wanting to think about something but your brain thinks about it because you are trying not to think about it so much.

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YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

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When listening to music via headphones in public, I become paranoid that I am bothering everyone around me as my breathing becomes louder without me realising.

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Think about all of the germs that are on restroom doors and water taps.

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Normally I can do a specific task no problem but when someone is watching and I know that they are watching I screw up.

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Skip lines to read faster then get confused by everything for the next 10 pages.

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I use my magic powers to give shaddy politicians their comeuppance (I don't have any magic powers lol)

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Watching movies about couples with age gaps and woundering how it would feel like to be with somebody much older (or younger) than you. Would they use viagra or would you not even try to have sex with someone so old and delicate?

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get annoyed when people talk on the phone really loudly in front of the TV, forcing you to mute your show, resulting in you missing half of what the people are saying.

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Always run up the stairs as if someone was chasing you.

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When you think thoughts, you think them in complete sentences as if you were saying them and in your accent.

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Random strong urge to squeeze immensely cute pet.

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Look at the toilet paper after i wipe my ass just to make sure i didn't leave anything behind..

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Worry a lot about the efficiency of your path when walking.

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Whenever I hear a baby or a young child scream very loud, I imagine that their head will explode.

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When peeing at a urinal, move my stream back and forth the coat as much of the wall as I can.

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When I step on something pokey, I don't say the quick "OW" that is expected, I go the extra syllable and a say "JOW!"

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Wash my hands after i use the toilet.

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Run the shower before you get in/ move out the way of the water to let it warm up first

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.