Smile like an idiot while reading this site.

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Play Minecraft

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try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

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when you read a post that you don't do then start doing it

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When im going from one room to the next, i try and get into the other room before the door to the last room closes. If i do, I've won.

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i cannot watch horror films that have blood in it for fear of nightmares

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eating a sandwich with strategically placed bites such that i get the same ratio of crust to tastier non-crust sandwich center in each bite. sometimes i just take two smaller bites of crust and center part so that i don't have to taste mostly bread crust in a mouthful.

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I kill Solid Snake and masturbate when the Game over screen keeps screaming for my own "snake" "Snake answer me! Snake SNAAAKE!" Me: Answer coming right up and out any moment now! fapfapfap

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I play out romantic scenarios with myself when I'm alone. We're talking full-blown just straight up talking out loud- to myself, of course. It's not that I'm lonely or anything since I did this when I had a boyfriend anyway (just to clarify, it didn't end because of this XD.) I really just feel like doing it because it's really friggin' entertaining. If you've never done it, well... it's basically like being in a really crappy, low budget soap opera, with a plot that doesn't make any damn sense, staring you as every character and the audience. That's basically the only way I could describe it lol.

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I think source beggars are lazy pest that should be groin kicked

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Pretend animals talk to you!

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Try to give my download speed moral support: "You can do it! YES, just stay there!" For anyone out there struggling with slow internet.. I feel your pain

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Walk down the street, listening to a song, singing it softly, then thinking 'I might wanna stop doing that before I look awkward', but the wires get crossed and you start singing LOUDER and so on.

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you know that when things have only one like on this site, the people who wrote it liked it

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im going to kill that person and get away with it

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When I am talking about someone, I check my phone to make sure it hasn't dialed them and to make sure they aren't listening.

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Walk into a public bathroom and go to the urinal, but then stop and think theres some guy who will perv on you and then go in the cubicle.

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I drive in the car then suddenly awake from a day dream and realize ive driven for the last 4 miles with no recollection of the journey.

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Think about the things you could do with you had the power to stop the time.

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talking on the phone with somebody and then spending 10 minutes or so looking for your phone...

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Sometimes I look at people and think, "They poop."

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You feel compelled to stab someone in the face... But you don't since you know its wrong. Instead you play violent video games to get it off your mind.

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When you buy a car you then see that make/model everywhere.

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Drum on the chair between your legs and wonder if people think that you're playing with yourself.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.