I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

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I feel no shame that I am a camgirl online and bring in about $2800 a month just to flash guys my boobs. :)

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It takes half as long to take a dump if I forget my phone.

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if your behind glass or a window and you see a group outside, imagine their conversation.

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spank it during my commute if I am in traffic

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I think about fat women while poking my skinny girlfriend

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Decide to think about important things in the shower, but continually lose the train of thought and eventually give up.

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I have a feeling that life is a Video Game for another Universe. When the player looks at their computer screen, they see what I see. They control everything I do. Like The Sims games. Everyone else is either other players in a multiplayer server, or they are are all fake, computer players.

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I wonder if old women enjoy sex?

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Check the shower before you pee to make sure nothing is waiting there to literally get you with your pants down.

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When I was younger I used to challenge myself with touching the roof I would first jump and see if I could touch it then I would try and see how long I can touch it and now every once in a while I just touch it and think of how far I have come.

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Make a little song with tiny breaths out of your nose

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Feel uncomfortable with the TV volume on an odd number

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when going through this website only read post that have 2 or more thumbs up

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Playing with a tiny piece of loose skin in the middle of my upper lip.

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Smelling food to see if its spicy.

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When Im going to sleep , I try to think of good things so I wont think of scary things

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I look behind me and out of my window every 10 minutes while I'm sitting at my desk because I'm scared something's gonna be there.

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I choose not to post a comment on some subjects because I know there will be a hundred others that will be the same.

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It's hot but I still have on covers

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when you get a runny nose suddenly checks for blood oh good its clear

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Saying something stupid and then claiming it was an inside joke so you don't look stupid.

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Spend countless hours looking at cars online I know I'll never be able to afford

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Miss the bus, keep running pretending I was going somewhere else.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.