Simultaneously apply pressure to my ears to make the surrounding noises sound weird Tristan J.

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I no longer trust any of my local news because they appear to have an agenda

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I can't trill my R's

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When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

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Whenever I hear someones name being announced on a p.a., in a store for example....I say out loud 'never heard of him/her'

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Whenever I fall over I always seem to think coherently throughout the fall about what can I do to make this less painful

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eat curry and don't complain about its spiciness ...if you're not white

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Skip lines to read faster then get confused by everything for the next 10 pages.

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Feel really paranoid until my game score is a multiple of 5

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Try to give my download speed moral support: "You can do it! YES, just stay there!" For anyone out there struggling with slow internet.. I feel your pain

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If its dark and you have to go with rhe stairs i do that running because i tink somebody is behind my

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Realizes there is less toilet paper than first thought. Hobbles across bathroom to find more. Failure. Take shower.

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Put my hands together the 'other' way

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The older I get the more honest I get

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When you're walking along at night and you see the moon, then you move around quickly,still looking at it as if you're controlling it.

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Consume skin around finger nails. Cuticle too.

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When listening to music on computer make sure your singing the words and act cool just incase the singer of that song and some other people you admire are watching you threw your webcam.

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When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

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when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

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Check the shower before you pee to make sure nothing is waiting there to literally get you with your pants down.

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when you've done everything you wanted to do on the internet and stop and just stare at the screen.

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I don't care about who a celebrity dates or marries. Why should I?

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I sometimes want to eat spaghetti with my hands, but for whatever reason have never done it...

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when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.