When on long car rides through the mountains of Cali, look at a fence and pretend its a roller coaster and talk like im on it with a friend. And when the fence ends,name and rate it like it was real -Nirp

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Eat my shed skin from a sunburn

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When at a red you watch the light real close and as soon as it turns green you try to beat the other cars to the other side of intersection

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It's hot but I still have on covers

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When I Was Little I Always Slept On My Stomach Even If I Wasn't Comfortable Because I Thought It Would Be Harder For Aliens To Abduct Me.

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I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

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Sometimes when walking, accidently fart and then try to squeak my to sound like my shoes squeaked instead of me farting.

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Spend several minutes to write a comment on a website, only to decide not no submit it after all.

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Think your teacher is super hot and have a hard time concentrating in class . . . for the whole year.

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Leave coins on the floor in the corner when I have a party to see if there is a petty thief around

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Click my teeth from side to side at the beat of songs

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I practice my signature on a piece of paper over and over again. Even though my signature has never changed.

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While listening to music, I take my headphones off to make sure nobody else can hear it.

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I don't leave the toilet in a public restroom until the other person leaves, so I don't have to make awkward eye contact.

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Back away as much as I can from airplane toilets before flushing them because the noise scares me

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Worry a lot about the efficiency of your path when walking.

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Eat a biscuit realise how nice it is and eat the whole packet

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I meow when my cat meows.

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I push the door open with my stomach

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do things without turning the lights on and feel like a ninja.

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I don't like to answer the phone because it is never for me.

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Walk into a public bathroom and go to the urinal, but then stop and think theres some guy who will perv on you and then go in the cubicle.

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I have to put the radio volume in multiples of three and my daughter has to put it in multiples of five so when we are together it either has to be on 15 or 30.

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right before I go to sleep, I think about a certain situation. so I will dream about that

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.