When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

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Sometimes I won't do something just to see how long it takes before someone else does it (dishes, throw something away, fill the ice cube tray, etc.).

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My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

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When Im going to sleep , I try to think of good things so I wont think of scary things

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When buying anything - a book, pint of milk, food, pen - will go to put down the first one you picked up to find a newer one.... Then feel really bad for the other one you put down and go back to that one so it doesn't feel hurt.

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When reading something on the internet highlighting the words, they don't even have to be what you'r reading just highlighting large sections of the article at random.

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Questioning why they make the Captcha's(spamblocker) SO hard to read

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Being able to scare people by awkwardly standing behind them

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Forget a seemingly simple word. Shout it out at random 3 days later...(don't tell me you don't do this)

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Search for blackheads on your arms for hours just because youre bored!

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fart and talk thinking it will cover the smell

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I masturbate with sandpaper

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Race the microwave. Not literally, by the way.

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Hit the off button on the microwave three times to simulate the sound it makes when time is up.

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When your at your friends house and they run out of toilet paper, so you sit there like "what do i do now?"

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Lay down in bed and close my eyes and pretend that the bed is slowly levitating towards the ceiling. When I open my eyes, the bed is back on the ground.

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Think about breathing...

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I hate when people say for example,if something is $3.99 they say its four dollars.

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Likes that girggle sound you make after a burp.

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Roll my eyes with them closed when I am annoyed with someone

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When I go to the shops I like to park my car next to a specific coloured car so I can find it afterwards.

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Click my teeth from side to side at the beat of songs

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I chew around the center of carrots.

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You pretend to fight imaginary people while no ones looking:/ But you look like the star wars kid...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.