I hid money in a jar behind a brick in the house I lived in and forgot about it. I've since moved to another state but I didn't remember I left the cash behind until years later.

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Courtesy flush.

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Look at every individual line on my hands and see if they are identicle

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I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

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Run back into your room when your microwaving something

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Every time I walk up the stairs in my own house, I feel compelled to do it on all fours.

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trip over nothing. break into spontaneous dancing.

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I feel that there is something sinister going on in government

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Whenever I hear someones name being announced on a p.a., in a store for example....I say out loud 'never heard of him/her'

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imagine shooting lasers out from the car and bouncing them of walls and back to the car

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Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

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I sniff my finger after I scatch my bunghole lol

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Stare blankly at your desktop when someone walks in the room so they won't know that you were watching porn lol

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i noticed that a lot of people pronounce "LOL" like roll. Am i the only one that reads it as L. O. L. (el oh el) ????

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eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

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When eating chips I always look at each side before eating it to choose which side will taste better

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I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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Sometimes when you're at work and you're REALLY horny, you look around at the women you work with and think who you really would like to bone, then on another particular day when you aren't horny, you see the same women and think to yourself " I must have REALLY been horny. What was I thinking?" lol (not trying to be gross, but honestly, who doesn't get horny while at work sometimes)

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After eating a banana I leave the last bit that was in the bottom

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When someone is talking to me and I'm not really listening, when it gets quiet I say 'that's crazy' so they think I'm listening.

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I would try to make my pencil shavings as long as possible.

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Random strong urge to squeeze immensely cute pet.

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Sometimes, for no real reason, I'll make strange or funny noises when no one is around.

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Doing something private and think "What if my mom/dad/boss etc. saw me now?"

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.