When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

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Feel the bed gets more comfortable the longer you put off getting into bed.

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Try to stop thinking but then just start thinking I'm thinking

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The only time I seem to look at the clock is when the numbers read my birth date.

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i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

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Really really happy that resisted getting a facebook or twitter account

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call someone by a siblings name.

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Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

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I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

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When looking at a digital clock that counts down to seconds, I wait until the seconds are an even number, then I try to say each number in order twice before it changes.

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get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

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Ur mum

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When I am bored I look at things and wonder about the people who made them, and at what time they were made, etc. Like whether my Bic pen was made in the morning or the night. Savy.

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Use a signature that automatically gets me hundreds of red thumbs... Yeah that moral crap...

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Play my music so low in public that I can hardly hear it in my headphones for fear of others being able to hear what I'm listening to.

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I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

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Kill Jb without getting aressted.

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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filling your mouth with water in the shower and spitting it at the wall.

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Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

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Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

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Dilikes the Gangnam Style.

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When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.