make south park refferences every day

thumb_up thumb_down -67

rub your face on your legs after shaving to feel how smooth they are.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

listening to music and not realizing ur favorite song is on until the last word

thumb_up thumb_down -71

sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

thumb_up thumb_down -71

When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

thumb_up thumb_down -73

check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

thumb_up thumb_down -79

When I was little I used to cover myself all the way up and put pillows around me, then ask my sister if she could see me, trying to be invisible when I sleep just in case someone breaks into my house at night.

thumb_up thumb_down -79

Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

thumb_up thumb_down -91

Sometimes I worry that my life is just someones dream and that I'm not real.

thumb_up thumb_down -93

Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

thumb_up thumb_down -109

Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.

thumb_up thumb_down -123

Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

thumb_up thumb_down +34

I sleep in my underpants every single night

thumb_up thumb_down +28

When you cringe as you walk out of a store because you're paranoid the door will beep...

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Do a little half laugh, then when someone looks at you, you realise that it wasn't even funny so you pretend to be clearing your throat.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I wonder if sport games are rigged?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

when you're in the car, look outside and count every single lamp-post until the car stops

thumb_up thumb_down +8

like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Sometimes when you're at work and you're REALLY horny, you look around at the women you work with and think who you really would like to bone, then on another particular day when you aren't horny, you see the same women and think to yourself " I must have REALLY been horny. What was I thinking?" lol (not trying to be gross, but honestly, who doesn't get horny while at work sometimes)

thumb_up thumb_down +4

If I'm at work and have to poop, when I get in the stall I look under the opening at the bottom for any other feet in the other stalls to make sure I am alone. I always think what if when I do that someone else does it at the same time.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Use my phone to see what time it is

thumb_up thumb_down +4

When alone and listening to music I pretend that I am the artist and dance around the room like its the music video or I am on stage.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

hover over public toilets and end up leaving a sprinkling of pee that lands uniformly all over on the seat then use a big wad of TP and my foot to wipe down the seat.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.