don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time

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eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

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Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

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Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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look for old friends on facebook to see what they are up to now

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When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

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my favorite singer is Bles Bridges 22/07/1947-24/03/2000

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Imagine flying things and epic battles when listening to music.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I watch American football with the sound down low because the announcers are always trying to tell us that we didn't see what we just saw when the referees make bad calls

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my solve media says spare is big but it was space is big

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When receiving instructions from people one on one, whether it's a man or a woman, I wonder what they would do if I kissed them while they are talking.

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Tally mark everytime I take a shit.

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When people are walking behind me I automatically think they are staring at my ass and get self-conscious.

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Sometimes I won't do something just to see how long it takes before someone else does it (dishes, throw something away, fill the ice cube tray, etc.).

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I think about other women when having sex

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feel like im being watched turn my head sideways and see someone suddenly look away.

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Reading all these posts and being reminded that we are all more similar to each other than we think, regardless of whatever group each of us may belong to.

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Counting down on a digital clock, trying to say "0" just as the time changes.

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have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

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everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

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Whenever I fart, I always smell it. But when other people fart, I don't want to smell it.

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You take showers on school morning because you like to stand there under the hot water just thinking about life while your warm

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.