- Things You Think Only You Do

Think of someone you love while trying to fall asleep.

Cringe when remembering something weird about you that happened years ago

not eating the ends of a hotdog.

listen to madonnas new album

Stand on the first floor and look up through the 2nd story railing just to look up women's skirts.

test how many stares you can scale in one step

When you're chatting with a friend while you're walking around and not really paying attention then you turn around to took at your friend and you realise you've been talking to someone you don't even know the entire time.

sometimes sigh sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

while you put your t-shirt on, you get frightened that someone's watching you behind your shirt so you try to put it on as soon as possible.

when you pick up something you think is going to be heavy and its like you suddenly have super strength

Think what would I be doing if I was someone else

I have memorized my drivers license registration number

Inspect the shower, bath or toilet, then washing it until you believe it is suitable to use.

i masturbate with my feet

Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

make south park refferences every day

i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

I blow my nose in my towel after i dry off. Then use the same towel the next day. lol

Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

When dunking oreos I like to hold it under the milk and watch the bubbles til they stop

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.