What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

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Put my hands together the 'other' way

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Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.

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Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

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touching something (like a crack in a wall) and then thinking to yourself that your the only person thats ever touched it..

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.

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Do a little half laugh, then when someone looks at you, you realise that it wasn't even funny so you pretend to be clearing your throat.

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Hate people who don't dress like you because they're not fashionable. Hate people who do dress like you because they threaten your individuality.

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Use my phone to see what time it is

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When alone and listening to music I pretend that I am the artist and dance around the room like its the music video or I am on stage.

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I can't step on the cracks of sidewalks.

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I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Sing along to the radio in the car then stop at a red light when you realize other people can see you more easily.

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When watching TV shows, I always think about what I would have done differently if I was the character in that particular situation.

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When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

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I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

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thinking "what if people can read my mind" then cant stop thinking dirty things about people around me

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1. When you're downstairs at night you go upstairs as fast as fucking possible. 2. When you switch volume in TV, the second number has to be 0 or 5.

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Help my dogs eat their dinner....I think the whole time, "If they only had thumbs".....

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Twice on two different internet super power sites, I posted sdrawkcab epyt ot REWEP eth"... ...Sadly I forgot to type MORAL under them, so they have... several thumbs ups... NERO: In a world of bithes and h0m0f*gs that never understood that my "MORALS" where pure SARCASM!... Oh, I also think I am one of the three hundred guys that gangbang your mother.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.