i masturbate with my feet

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Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

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I am such a coward. When I'm going to have an argument or complain to someone, I think of the beat ever retort, but when it comes down to it I say "why are you so mean" or " why don't you just leave me alone for once" or something like that. ( Yes I get picked on, cos I'm the smartest in our class)

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eat curry and don't complain about its spiciness ...if you're not white

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Know almost every line from spongbob episodes.

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Slowly close the fridge door to see when the light bulb turns off.

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Whenever Terminator 2 is on tv, I become enthralled and can't stop watching even though I've seen it a million times.

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I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

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Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

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Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

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Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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Walking into a room to do something, and then forgetting what you were gonna do.

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Become self-conscious and wonder if you were making faces while day dreaming during the middle of class.

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accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

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Constantly refresh your email page even though you know nothing will appear.

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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Anytime I walk in anyplace with cracks in the ground (tiled floors, cement squares, etc.) I do my best to avoid stepping on cracks in fear of something happening if I do.

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Sometimes I get annoyed when I realize none of my friends ever eat vegetables or drink anything but sugary soda`s and are somehow as healthy, sometimes even healthier than me.

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it is not disgusting to bite your toe nails, it is a skill

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I'm in the middle of a good dream but I wake up and try to go back to sleep to finish it when it never happens.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.