I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

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thinking "what if people can read my mind" then cant stop thinking dirty things about people around me

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1. When you're downstairs at night you go upstairs as fast as fucking possible. 2. When you switch volume in TV, the second number has to be 0 or 5.

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Whenever I drop food on the floor I get my dog to come clean it for me

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Help my dogs eat their dinner....I think the whole time, "If they only had thumbs".....

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Twice on two different internet super power sites, I posted sdrawkcab epyt ot REWEP eth"... ...Sadly I forgot to type MORAL under them, so they have... several thumbs ups... NERO: In a world of bithes and h0m0f*gs that never understood that my "MORALS" where pure SARCASM!... Oh, I also think I am one of the three hundred guys that gangbang your mother.

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I don't know about anyone else but I really felt bad when the Lich killed Prismo in Adventure Time

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after dialing a number and clicking "call" constanly rehearse what your going to say when the other person picks up the line

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Be a loner at school

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Listening to romantic hollywood sad core and feeling depressed because your single.

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When two people in my house are arguing, I stay in my room to avoid awkwardly interrupting them and being dragged into it.

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Feels my beard with my tongue.

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Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

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I cover the mirror on my bedroom door with a sheet at night, because I think the shadows casted in the mirror are gonna get me.

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Emmy Jackson Y U ALWAYS ANGRY WHEN SOMEONE SAY HI

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When I was a kid and I misbehaved when my dad used to smack me I would put emphasis in my cries to let him think that I got the lesson.

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I stick used soap to a new soap so I don't waste it.

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Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

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I hold my breath in elevators

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When I meet someone random, and have a small conversation, and then when they leave, I feel sad because I think I am never going to see them again.

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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Click an invisible pen I think is in my hand but is not constantly everyday.

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I refuse to take dump with the shower curtain closed. I know someone's behind it...

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Peel my mandarin oranges in one try

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.