when im in the toilet and invent something in my mind and dont have a pen and paper to wright my invention and when im done i forget about it...

thumb_up thumb_down -49

I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

thumb_up thumb_down -51

trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

I think something is gonna get me at night when I walk out of my brothers roomso I look behind me and run and usually bump into a wall

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Courtesy flush.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Cheak the fridge every 5 minuets waiting for food to just "magicly" appear

thumb_up thumb_down -55

use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

thumb_up thumb_down -55

everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Say "Up and Down" for "Left or Right"

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Believing in the kindness of strangers

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Start walking down a busy street or mall, and realise I've gone the wrong way. Suddenly stop and pretend to read something on my phone for a few seconds before turning round and walking the right way.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

I prefer to go to the bathroom with the door open.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

When I post a picture on a Horsehead Huffer site that I made on Microsoft Paint, and it ends up being one of those that never load, I go back on Paint and save it again. Then I repost it, and it works.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

Watched the woman in black then go to bed then suddenly a woman in black comes in my room oh wait it is just my mum saying good night

thumb_up thumb_down -69

I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

thumb_up thumb_down -71

(okay maybe not a thing I do but something I noticed) When people call themselves "Writers" In today's world you know that might not be the case because we have computers so shouldn't they be called typers?

thumb_up thumb_down -73

Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

thumb_up thumb_down -75

Kill Jb without getting aressted.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

Whenever Terminator 2 is on tv, I become enthralled and can't stop watching even though I've seen it a million times.

thumb_up thumb_down -77

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.