Toss something across the room toward the place it belongs, get excited when it lands upright/ perfectly in place, then immediately regret you weren't recording it.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Without thinking i ask questions i know the answer to

thumb_up thumb_down -18

wake up in the middle of the night and write your dream if you like it. Or just write all night and dont sleep all night for days at a time.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

thumb_up thumb_down -18

I stick used soap to a new soap so I don't waste it.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Try to think of something nice then thinks of then scariest things.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Change the channel when a Progressive commercial comes on because I can't STAND that stupid Flo girl.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I always have to watch the credits of a movie even, though everyone else has left the theatre and there are people cleaning up the seats, which makes me think, they think i'm crazy.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

When I haven't looked in a mirror for a while, I worry that I look awful, and when I get to a mirror, I'm like "Oh yeah, that's what I look like".

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Feels my beard with my tongue.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

When something funny happens think of it a couple days later than laugh,everyone then looks at me weirdly.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Whenever on a car ride, pretend you are in a military convoy and shoot at pursuing helicopters and soldiers.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Whenever I watch TV, the volume has to be on multiples of 5. Even if the perfect volume is in between.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Add numbers on license plates of cars around me while waiting at a light.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Peel my mandarin oranges in one try

thumb_up thumb_down -32

I don't read the terms of service.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

When I'm drinking something, I slosh the glass back and forth a long with my head to try and get what I'm drinking into my mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

When people are walking behind me I automatically think they are staring at my ass and get self-conscious.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

thumb_up thumb_down -36

have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

thumb_up thumb_down -40

You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.