Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

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I imagine myself having a superpower that could make people see from my point of view. I would just have to lay a hand on them, and suddenly they would understand who I really am.

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Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

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i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

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Everytime aplane is flying low you think it's going to crash right in front of your eyes

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

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I can't piss with my shoes on.

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Whenever Terminator 2 is on tv, I become enthralled and can't stop watching even though I've seen it a million times.

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I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

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I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

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worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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Put my hands together the 'other' way

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Never step on manholes, because I'm afraid to fall in.

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I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

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Run faster down hotel corridors.

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Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

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When posting these, I'm rarely able to read the words/letters in the box that prove you're human and not some computer virus. Now I'm starting to think I'm not a human......

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Write something down here so that it seems like you think its normal when your actually really paranoid that its not.

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Sometimes I feel that my reflection in the mirror will stop doing what I'm doing and either jump out and grab me, start telling me about her reflected life, or give me a mission to free her from her mirror life.

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check to see if post has any likes right after posting it. then have second thoughts about it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.