Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

Sometimes I worry that my life is just someones dream and that I'm not real.

Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

Playing a sad song that talks about your current situation and then looking in the mirror or out the window pretending you are in a sad music video.

Become self-conscious and wonder if you were making faces while day dreaming during the middle of class.

.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

Wondering if your life is a TV show, and people are watching what you do.

feel like your calculator is judging/making fun of you for looking up simple equations

Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.

Pretend I'm a back-up dancer or singing a duet with the singer of the song I'm listening to.

get happy as sh*t when you remember your homework is do after your lunch period so you can do it then, but never end up doing it.

try to make myself sneeze because I like the feeling I get when I do

When at Burger King, McDonalds etc. I always finish the drink before the food so that I still have the taste of the food in my mouth when I'm finished.

When alone and listening to music I pretend that I am the artist and dance around the room like its the music video or I am on stage.

when you're in the car, look outside and count every single lamp-post until the car stops

When ever I'm walking up or down stairs, i always have to step on the last step with my left foot.

Blink and pretend that you just took a picture with your eyes.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.