Nodding while talking on the phone then remembering the person can't see you

After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

Pretending I'm on my cellphone in public.

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

When you're walking along at night and you see the moon, then you move around quickly,still looking at it as if you're controlling it.

If I get lost while driving, the first thing I do is turn down the radio.

When you lie in bed and imagine scenarios that will never happen.

Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

Pretend I'm a back-up dancer or singing a duet with the singer of the song I'm listening to.

Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

Hate people who don't dress like you because they're not fashionable. Hate people who do dress like you because they threaten your individuality.

You think about all the stupid things you did in elementary school and avoid anyone who went to your elementary school in high school.

I love touching, squeezing and occasionally biting my dog's (read: any dog's) muzzle. I love the texture and the gummy-ness. I also love how pissed he gets when I do it and sneezes after.

Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

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I would try to make my pencil shavings as long as possible.

Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

When i talk i say i like how or i hate that.

Tear up when I poop

when I go shopping I go in the store, get what I need and then I leave I don't browse.

Imagining how it would feel to switch bodies with your crush

Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

make sure you hit every crack in the sidewalk evenly. slowly over time, you discover that you found an awkward walking pace to match the obsession.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.