Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

I imagine myself having a superpower that could make people see from my point of view. I would just have to lay a hand on them, and suddenly they would understand who I really am.

Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

Everytime aplane is flying low you think it's going to crash right in front of your eyes

Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

I can't piss with my shoes on.

Whenever Terminator 2 is on tv, I become enthralled and can't stop watching even though I've seen it a million times.

I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

Put my hands together the 'other' way

Never step on manholes, because I'm afraid to fall in.

I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

Run faster down hotel corridors.

Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

When posting these, I'm rarely able to read the words/letters in the box that prove you're human and not some computer virus. Now I'm starting to think I'm not a human......

Write something down here so that it seems like you think its normal when your actually really paranoid that its not.

Sometimes I feel that my reflection in the mirror will stop doing what I'm doing and either jump out and grab me, start telling me about her reflected life, or give me a mission to free her from her mirror life.

check to see if post has any likes right after posting it. then have second thoughts about it.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.