Be a loner at school

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Change the channel when a Progressive commercial comes on because I can't STAND that stupid Flo girl.

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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Sometimes I turn on my bedroom fan at night just so i can use heavier blankets.

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I stick used soap to a new soap so I don't waste it.

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Feels my beard with my tongue.

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When I look at a clear blue sky, I'm convinced that I see little tiny floaty things, and think that I'm seeing air molecules.

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Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

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Sometimes I look at security cameras and start to act suspiciously like I'm up to something... but really... I'm not.

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Sometimes when I look at a clock the seconds hand ticks backwards

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After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

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When A situation Doesn't go how I wanted it to go, It annoys me so much I sometimes shit in my hands and clap.

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When I'm drinking something, I slosh the glass back and forth a long with my head to try and get what I'm drinking into my mouth.

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Click an invisible pen I think is in my hand but is not constantly everyday.

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Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

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Add numbers on license plates of cars around me while waiting at a light.

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When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

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after seeing toy story, and watching that toys moved and talked to each other when the humans werent around, thinking that toys are really like that when you gone, and when you go back to you room, the toys rush back into their spots.

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Bored. Open refrigerator. Nothing to eat. Open it again five minutes later.

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Paranoid someone is reading your mind, so you think something weird to see if they look at you

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Point your finger to the sky when your favorite song comes on in the club or the radio

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try to rip the top off an Oreo without messing up the cream and then if the cream comes out on both parts not wanting to eat the Oreo because its wrong.

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Drum on the chair between your legs and wonder if people think that you're playing with yourself.

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not eating the ends of a hotdog.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.