Watch peoples body language and see if they're on the same pace of thought as i am and then try to speed up my thinking to pretend or act like I am realizing something they are not.

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Love to check my astrological compatibility with my favorite musicians.

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I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

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Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

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Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

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worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

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Never step on manholes, because I'm afraid to fall in.

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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Run faster down hotel corridors.

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After going to the toilet to do a S#!* I will only sit on one cheek for the rest of the day until I bathe

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Be talking to someone about something random, then a few days later or so... something very relevant to that happens, then you think to yourself "I'm sure I can tell the future"... I'm very confident that, that is just me...

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Become self-conscious and wonder if you were making faces while day dreaming during the middle of class.

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sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

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Pretend I'm a back-up dancer or singing a duet with the singer of the song I'm listening to.

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Wipe the salt off your hand on your right pant leg after eating salty fries from fast food restaurants.

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it is not disgusting to bite your toe nails, it is a skill

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Only one tissue left in the box... I'll just use toilet paper.

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Thinking epic thoughts like "Man, had a great workout today" just in case someone is reading my mind.

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When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.