- Things You Think Only You Do

Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

When in a public toilet, I never leave the cubicle until everyone is either out of the room or in their own cubicle.

Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

acting as if you can shoot with a banana

I have to stop the Microwave on 0 but before it beeps or I'm not going to get what I want in life. OCD MUCH

When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

I always ask myself "Why am I me?". But have never come up with a good answer.

When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

I don't read the terms of service.

Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

Turn the door knob while closing the door ...so it doesn't make a loud noise.

No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

I hid money in a jar behind a brick in the house I lived in and forgot about it. I've since moved to another state but I didn't remember I left the cash behind until years later.

Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

I giggle in my head when anyone says duty.

When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.