after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth

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Listening to romantic hollywood sad core and feeling depressed because your single.

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get some of the lyrics to a song wrong. you know theyre wrong, but continue to sing the wrong words anyway, because the real words just don't seem to fit.

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get a new *to you* car, and suddenly every other car on the road is the same make/ model..... hey look! an outback!

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wipe all the water off my body (predrying myself) before i get out of the shower, and dry myself with the towel

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Sometimes I find myself staring at the television only to realize its off.

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Justin Beiber is a woman

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Just ocassionally stand up and pontlessly walk around the house when using the computer. Anyone?

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When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

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When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

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When I haven't looked in a mirror for a while, I worry that I look awful, and when I get to a mirror, I'm like "Oh yeah, that's what I look like".

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Pulling the same faces as the character you are reading currently is.

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Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

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When I'm on a site that requires you to login with Facebook or Twitter to leave a comment, I click on the names of the nice looking ones to go see their pages to add them to my friends list.

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When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

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fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

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Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

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Listening to music walking through town and feeling like you're in a music video

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Everytime my sibling starts a sentance with "I remember when","I have an idea"etc.,I get up and walk out.

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the power to regenerate your appendix

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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fall asleep in the shower.

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Click an invisible pen I think is in my hand but is not constantly everyday.

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If I'm walking with or behind someone I always match their footsteps

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.