When im out with my dad in the car i swear traffic lights always seem to go to red when were coming

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Get annoyed when I click on the "popular" button and it's always the same things.

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I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

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When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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I Masturbate Daily.

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i masturbate with my feet

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make south park refferences every day

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When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

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i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

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I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

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Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

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I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

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Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

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I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

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Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

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You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

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If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

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Run faster down hotel corridors.

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masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

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Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

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make it a point of interest to know every word to a song that nobody likes. (i.e. call me maybe) >.>

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.