Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

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Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

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Put my hands together the 'other' way

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If I get lost while driving, the first thing I do is turn down the radio.

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accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

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make it a point of interest to know every word to a song that nobody likes. (i.e. call me maybe) >.>

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imagine killing someone by accident and feeling really guilty about it.

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I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

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While in the shower, after ive used soap and stuff i turn the water to cold and i pretend im on fear factor and close my eyes so i cannot see what i am trying to get while crawling through freezing cold water

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Anytime I walk in anyplace with cracks in the ground (tiled floors, cement squares, etc.) I do my best to avoid stepping on cracks in fear of something happening if I do.

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I wonder if sport games are rigged?

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When no one is home, I poop with the door open, just because I can.

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when you're in the car, look outside and count every single lamp-post until the car stops

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When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.

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Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.

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When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

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Be best friends with someone and tell them all your secrets and then they become best friends with someone else and you hope they won't tell your secrets

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log out of any social network sites so that when im on a website it doesnt somehow send messages to my profile

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browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

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hover over public toilets and end up leaving a sprinkling of pee that lands uniformly all over on the seat then use a big wad of TP and my foot to wipe down the seat.

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Pretend to listen to music, but just do it so nobody talks to me or i simply just ignore them.

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I love touching, squeezing and occasionally biting my dog's (read: any dog's) muzzle. I love the texture and the gummy-ness. I also love how pissed he gets when I do it and sneezes after.

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When it's as quiet as possible in the classroom in the middle of the period and everyone is silently doing their work.... I suddenly think of something REALLY funny and spend the next half hour awkwardly grinning trying my hardest not to burst out uncontrollably.

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Pretend to be texting to look popular in public

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.