When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

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Have one of those days where you think it is just a dream but then reality takes over

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I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

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LOG OFF OF ICHAT BECAUSE THE PERSON U WERE JUST TALKING TO WENT OFFLINE.

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Rubbing the corners of your lips on the side of your hand and smelling it.

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Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

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when im in the toilet and invent something in my mind and dont have a pen and paper to wright my invention and when im done i forget about it...

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trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

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You feel like someone can read your mind so you try not to think about stupid stuff.

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Show all your friends this website to prove your not as strange as they think you are.

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Wondering how your funeral would play out if you die

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Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

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sometimes *sigh* sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

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Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

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When you are thinking, and you think about what you are thinking. You are automatically purposely thinking until you stop thinking about it. I am thinking about thinking about how I think right now. I think...

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Love feet. like LOVE feet.

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HEY! YOU! Yeah you! I can speak you only, NO! Nobody else here! Yeah you only you, by the way you are a dirty piece of s**t you mothe* F**ker! YEAH ITS YOU! I HATE YOU! EVERYBODY HATES YOU YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *end of special message just for you*

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Make calculations with house number. Eg: House nº 112 means house nº 4

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eat curry and don't complain about its spiciness ...if you're not white

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Watched the woman in black then go to bed then suddenly a woman in black comes in my room oh wait it is just my mum saying good night

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

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When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.