Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

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Everytime my sibling starts a sentance with "I remember when","I have an idea"etc.,I get up and walk out.

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RE:" pee on the side of the toilet" you dont pee on the side of the toilet so it isn't loud. you pee on the side so it doesn't splash on you're legs as much.

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After eating a sandwich, eat the leftover sesame seeds one-by-one.

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Going through a lot of Deja Vu lately, it feels like you have another life before this one.

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When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

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If I'm walking with or behind someone I always match their footsteps

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Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

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While talking on the phone you can't think of anything to say then it gets awkwardly quiet

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Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

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If I'm in the car looking for an address or a street name I'll turn down the radio. Why?

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Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

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I say that girl's name I have a crush on right before I go to sleep because I want her to be the last thing I think about, and then wake up realizing that it was super creepy... Only to do it again the next night

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Sneeze for a few minutes when I've eaten too much.

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jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

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I keep on trying to imagine how long eternity is for when I go to Heaven. It never ends...

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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Thinking about life as if its just a dream and wondeing if one day your just going to wake up and be like " wtf just happend".....

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When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

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Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

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Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

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Think what would I be doing if I was someone else

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carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.