When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

in burgers, you eat until you have only a few bites left, then you eat the bun and then the insides

Seeing an acquaintance who you would feel awkward talking to in a public place, knowing they see you as well, and pretending not to see them, while hoping they pretend not to see you as well.

Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

watch lesbian porn instead of normal because you hate have other men in the picture

When i talk i say i like how or i hate that.

play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

I DO wish I had the ability of the guy in the comment below me. Moral: Yeah I have to type moral down here, because its awesome and because whatever its awesome!

turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

Sometimes, for no real reason, I'll make strange or funny noises when no one is around.

When playing a game you refer to the kid you don't know as "kid" - ar2

sometimes when im in the shower and i hear the slightest bump i look behind the curtains to see if anyone is about to scare me

when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

i leave tv on when i sleep...cant close it cause i hate to hear....noices...in my bedroom that cant identify......

Whenever I go to close the door to my room, I give the wall opposite me a hard, intimidating stare just in case an invisible person was watching me.

When I drink out of a disposable coffee cup with a lid, the opening on the lid has be on the exact opposite side from the seam where the cup is glued to form the cylinder.

When I was younger, I would always try to construct some type of car by using the plastic things from Push-Ups as wheels.

When there are multiple puddles on the sidewalk you try and jump in every single one of them

I used to peep when my relatives are watching porn, back when i was a kid. After that, i feel like i wanna pee.

When I meet someone random, and have a small conversation, and then when they leave, I feel sad because I think I am never going to see them again.

Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

When A situation Doesn't go how I wanted it to go, It annoys me so much I sometimes shit in my hands and clap.

Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

acting as if you can shoot with a banana

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.