When I drink out of a disposable coffee cup with a lid, the opening on the lid has be on the exact opposite side from the seam where the cup is glued to form the cylinder.

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Toss something across the room toward the place it belongs, get excited when it lands upright/ perfectly in place, then immediately regret you weren't recording it.

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When I'm at home alone, I feel like people are watching me through my windows, so I act completely civil.

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Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

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Help my dogs eat their dinner....I think the whole time, "If they only had thumbs".....

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Sometimes I blink and act like I am taking a picture with my eyes.

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When I was a kid and I misbehaved when my dad used to smack me I would put emphasis in my cries to let him think that I got the lesson.

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Mares really turn me on, so I download "bad stuff" Ironically though, I worked at a farm last summer and realized there is nothing more disgusting than reality. Still mares turn me on... If on video.

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I always have to remake my bed right before going to sleep in it

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Opening the fridge door, then trying to accomplish pouring a drink, before the door seals itself forever leaving the cola to the mercy of the outside world.

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I used to peep when my relatives are watching porn, back when i was a kid. After that, i feel like i wanna pee.

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when your professor describes their wife or husband you imagine their wife or husband.

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I spin around in a spot, and then close my eyes and tilt my head up and to the opposite side i'm spinning to. It just feels awesome and it's even better while listening to music.

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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Freak out at sudden noises when home alone at night.

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Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

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When I find a new song I like, I listen to it over and over and over; >>Until I run that sh*t into the ground.

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I make sims of everyone I know and make them have kids together.

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turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

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I hid money in a jar behind a brick in the house I lived in and forgot about it. I've since moved to another state but I didn't remember I left the cash behind until years later.

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If I'm in the car looking for an address or a street name I'll turn down the radio. Why?

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Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

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I lift my butt when I'm farting

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I sometimes chew on the inside of my cheek

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.