When I'm laying in bed in the dark and I close my eyes for a while then when I open them again I quickly scan for a light source just to make sure I can still see.

How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

Accidently send an empty text or text multiple people and send wrong text to wrong person

I cover the mirror on my bedroom door with a sheet at night, because I think the shadows casted in the mirror are gonna get me.

When I was a kid and I misbehaved when my dad used to smack me I would put emphasis in my cries to let him think that I got the lesson.

I always try to play it cool and act like it’s no big deal. But I always have a mini anxiety attack before actually stepping onto a moving escalator. It is a task trying to time my step perfectly where my foot isn’t hanging off a step and I have to hurry my second foot on there isn’t an awdward space of steps between my feet. -Ikka

Right before I go to the dentist I brush my teeth.

I always have to watch the credits of a movie even, though everyone else has left the theatre and there are people cleaning up the seats, which makes me think, they think i'm crazy.

Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

Whenever you make cereal, you eat exactly where you make it like on the table.

When I'm drinking something, I slosh the glass back and forth a long with my head to try and get what I'm drinking into my mouth.

Whenever I pull a long hair from my vagina or butt, it feels good.

When I'm home alone at night I check around the corners to make sure there isn't anyone there

Link gross things with porn i.e: Think of really gross things (or friends or family) when fapping to really hot stuff ( the porn becomes ruined)

I don't read the terms of service.

Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said

wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

Paranoid someone is reading your mind, so you think something weird to see if they look at you

Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

When you had a crush on a girl in elementary school, then don't see her in middle school and think of how much of a bitch she was. Then You start crushing on her again in high school.

(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

Have one of those days where you think it is just a dream but then reality takes over

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.