Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

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i try to spit onto my line of piss while going to the toilet.

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scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

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I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

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I thought I was disgusting until I read the top voted things here. Floral: Actually pretty neat.

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I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

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laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

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I have a phobia of incest

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Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

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Walking into a room to do something, and then forgetting what you were gonna do.

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If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

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When reading some of the weirder things here, I somewhat worry some of these things people do might start happening to me just because I read about them.

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masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

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accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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Realized with 7 billion people, there is a chance that someone else on earth is doing exactly the same thing as me at any given time.

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That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

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While in the shower, after ive used soap and stuff i turn the water to cold and i pretend im on fear factor and close my eyes so i cannot see what i am trying to get while crawling through freezing cold water

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When theres a car just like yours right next to your car in the parking lot you almoat always gravitate to that car instead. It's the worst when there people in the car and you keep trying to open it.

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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Sometimes I get annoyed when I realize none of my friends ever eat vegetables or drink anything but sugary soda`s and are somehow as healthy, sometimes even healthier than me.

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I can't step on the cracks of sidewalks.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.