Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

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Sleeping with one leg under the blanket and one out.

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Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

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trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

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poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

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while you put your t-shirt on, you get frightened that someone's watching you behind your shirt so you try to put it on as soon as possible.

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Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

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trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

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start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

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So has anyone else ever been in the middle of doing something and at the exact moment something happens and you sort of wonder if it happened because of what you did.

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When listening to a song with headphones or on the radio i sing the harmonies or make them while they sing the lead

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Wondering what would happen if you did something super random or inappropriate in a group setting. :)

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Slowly close the fridge door to see when the light bulb turns off.

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I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

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Whenever Terminator 2 is on tv, I become enthralled and can't stop watching even though I've seen it a million times.

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I **** with no hands.

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IM 13 years old when i touch something i have a feeling and wont let me do anything until i touch it again or 4 times or sometimes even 16 times i cant live like this its weird!!!!

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Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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Never step on manholes, because I'm afraid to fall in.

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When Ive already talked to somebody , I think of things I couldve said to make the converstion better

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I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.