Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

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Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

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dip my fries in ice cream! sometimes in soda. It's good!

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Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

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Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

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have fake conversations that might happen in the future...so ur prepared

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Sniff or tap to a rhythm to some sort of beat I composed in my head...

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Sometimes I get annoyed when I realize none of my friends ever eat vegetables or drink anything but sugary soda`s and are somehow as healthy, sometimes even healthier than me.

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Only one tissue left in the box... I'll just use toilet paper.

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Invented a special password for yourself in order to recognize yourself if travel through time.

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Use my phone to see what time it is

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Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.

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I hit the frig after sex

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I love touching, squeezing and occasionally biting my dog's (read: any dog's) muzzle. I love the texture and the gummy-ness. I also love how pissed he gets when I do it and sneezes after.

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always get sports injuries, never get any attention from them

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Tryng to run away from, or at least be faster than my shadow.

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Listening to a song, thinking about having the life of the singer in the band

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Turn off light in bed... notice something you haven't seen before. IT'S SLENDERMAN You turn the light back on and realized it was a lamp

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Whenever I hear a baby or a young child scream very loud, I imagine that their head will explode.

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TV turned on just so... Makes you not feeling alone or because some other unknown (or) irrational reason.And of course, feeling guilty cause you spending energy and money but still... Most of the time you just don't care.

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when you've done everything you wanted to do on the internet and stop and just stare at the screen.

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Pull your headphones away from your ear when you're listening to music to see if it's too loud.

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I have an imaginary therapist. I talk to him in my head and he actually gives me really good answers.

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I mean Diana Ross.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.