When I'm laying in bed in the dark and I close my eyes for a while then when I open them again I quickly scan for a light source just to make sure I can still see.

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How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

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We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

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Accidently send an empty text or text multiple people and send wrong text to wrong person

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I cover the mirror on my bedroom door with a sheet at night, because I think the shadows casted in the mirror are gonna get me.

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When I was a kid and I misbehaved when my dad used to smack me I would put emphasis in my cries to let him think that I got the lesson.

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I always try to play it cool and act like it’s no big deal. But I always have a mini anxiety attack before actually stepping onto a moving escalator. It is a task trying to time my step perfectly where my foot isn’t hanging off a step and I have to hurry my second foot on there isn’t an awdward space of steps between my feet. -Ikka

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Right before I go to the dentist I brush my teeth.

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I always have to watch the credits of a movie even, though everyone else has left the theatre and there are people cleaning up the seats, which makes me think, they think i'm crazy.

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Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

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Whenever you make cereal, you eat exactly where you make it like on the table.

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When I'm drinking something, I slosh the glass back and forth a long with my head to try and get what I'm drinking into my mouth.

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Whenever I pull a long hair from my vagina or butt, it feels good.

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When I'm home alone at night I check around the corners to make sure there isn't anyone there

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Link gross things with porn i.e: Think of really gross things (or friends or family) when fapping to really hot stuff ( the porn becomes ruined)

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I don't read the terms of service.

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Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

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I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said

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wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

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Paranoid someone is reading your mind, so you think something weird to see if they look at you

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Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

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When you had a crush on a girl in elementary school, then don't see her in middle school and think of how much of a bitch she was. Then You start crushing on her again in high school.

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(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

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Have one of those days where you think it is just a dream but then reality takes over

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.