Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.

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I hit the frig after sex

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I love touching, squeezing and occasionally biting my dog's (read: any dog's) muzzle. I love the texture and the gummy-ness. I also love how pissed he gets when I do it and sneezes after.

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always get sports injuries, never get any attention from them

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Tryng to run away from, or at least be faster than my shadow.

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I don't care about who a celebrity dates or marries. Why should I?

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Turn off light in bed... notice something you haven't seen before. IT'S SLENDERMAN You turn the light back on and realized it was a lamp

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Listening to a song, thinking about having the life of the singer in the band

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Whenever I hear a baby or a young child scream very loud, I imagine that their head will explode.

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TV turned on just so... Makes you not feeling alone or because some other unknown (or) irrational reason.And of course, feeling guilty cause you spending energy and money but still... Most of the time you just don't care.

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when you've done everything you wanted to do on the internet and stop and just stare at the screen.

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I have an imaginary therapist. I talk to him in my head and he actually gives me really good answers.

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I mean Diana Ross.

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Being in the car and wondering if your parents can read your mind so you think "If you can here me cough in 3, 2, 1..." Sometimes my dad actually does it and he looks back at me and smiles. .-.

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Sometimes, for no real reason, I'll make strange or funny noises when no one is around.

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Sometimes I think that if we play with dolls, maybe we're just dolls that someone is playing with and creating lives for.

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Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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Open my mouth while doing my mascara... it's impossible not to!!!

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Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

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When you need something from someone and you forget what it's called,So then you have to awkwardly explain it.

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When in a outhouse I get scared that I can't unlock the door. This one time in the winter the lock froze and I was almost stuck

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Criticize a porn novel for its poor use of the English language

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after dialing a number and clicking "call" constanly rehearse what your going to say when the other person picks up the line

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taking your t shirt or sweatshirt off quickly so nothing gets you while its over your face

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.