When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

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I strum my fingers on my other hand between the fingers on the other hand which is a fist to make a popping sound (Try it, it's really fun)

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trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

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I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

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Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

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Whenever I finish reading a book, I feel a great sense of achievement.

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poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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i masturbate with my feet

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Thinking about a situation someone else in the world might be in. For example, Someone dying and the pain they must be going through.

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All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

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When I'm watching something interesting on TV, sometimes i realize they I'm making a weird face so i make sure that i make my face go back to its normal position. This way, my face won't get stuck like that

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I blow my nose in my towel after i dry off. Then use the same towel the next day. lol

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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I gotta get down of Friday

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Walk down the street, listening to a song, singing it softly, then thinking 'I might wanna stop doing that before I look awkward', but the wires get crossed and you start singing LOUDER and so on.

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(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

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see if I can hold my breath when walking down a long hallway

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When Ive already talked to somebody , I think of things I couldve said to make the converstion better

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when listening to pandora just skip through the songs and hit the like or hate buttons and not listen to the music,but then when you want to listen to the music you can't because theres no wifi

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Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

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When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

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check to see if post has any likes right after posting it. then have second thoughts about it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.