A lot of times I believe things I see or things that happen are "signs" of something.

Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

Listening to a song, thinking about having the life of the singer in the band

Pull your headphones away from your ear when you're listening to music to see if it's too loud.

I scratch and sniff.

When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

Can't stop tears from comeing to your eyes when singing

How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

Without thinking i ask questions i know the answer to

Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

Spend a ton of time on the way you look and the clothes you choose, then going out in public and imagining you're a celeb.

When peeing at a urinal, move my stream back and forth the coat as much of the wall as I can.

Sometimes, I wonder why god or the big bang ever existed in the first place and why there is a universe in the first place ... And it makes my brain hurt!

sometimes when im in the shower and i hear the slightest bump i look behind the curtains to see if anyone is about to scare me

Try to think of something nice then thinks of then scariest things.

When I'm laying in bed in the dark and I close my eyes for a while then when I open them again I quickly scan for a light source just to make sure I can still see.

Wonder what random strangers look like or noises and such they make while having sex. Everyone literally. People you interact with at work , customers, your boss, the married couple. Except for people who are like dirty looking af. Our just straight up ugly. Then your like grossed out by those thoughts your having and start getting that home sickfeeling in your stomach. Almost like butterflies but like dead ones or something. Hard to explain.

I stick used soap to a new soap so I don't waste it.

When I look at a clear blue sky, I'm convinced that I see little tiny floaty things, and think that I'm seeing air molecules.

I used to eat bath bubbles

Tough but loving hands!! Mmm them calluses tho!! ^_^

I used to peep when my relatives are watching porn, back when i was a kid. After that, i feel like i wanna pee.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.