I always ask myself "Why am I me?". But have never come up with a good answer.

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I don't read the terms of service.

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When I'm watching a video on YouTube, I repeatedly click on the video slider section below the video because I feel uncomfortable not doing it, ever since I realized that you can't move to different parts of the video with your keyboard without clicking there first.

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turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

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Get turned on when you see a girl yawn

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I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

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Smoking in the shower.

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jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

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You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

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While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

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Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

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Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

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walking up steps in the dark and you think you've gotten to the top but there's actually one more step and you panic because you think your going to fall

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try to rip the top off an Oreo without messing up the cream and then if the cream comes out on both parts not wanting to eat the Oreo because its wrong.

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Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

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When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

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getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

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Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

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Get soo scared in the shower when your home alone that you are scared to open the curtain just incase somebody is out tthere

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Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.