- Things You Think Only You Do

When no one is home, I poop with the door open, just because I can.

You think about all the stupid things you did in elementary school and avoid anyone who went to your elementary school in high school.

when you're in the car, look outside and count every single lamp-post until the car stops

Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.

Be best friends with someone and tell them all your secrets and then they become best friends with someone else and you hope they won't tell your secrets

hover over public toilets and end up leaving a sprinkling of pee that lands uniformly all over on the seat then use a big wad of TP and my foot to wipe down the seat.

When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

Pretend to listen to music, but just do it so nobody talks to me or i simply just ignore them.

When it's as quiet as possible in the classroom in the middle of the period and everyone is silently doing their work.... I suddenly think of something REALLY funny and spend the next half hour awkwardly grinning trying my hardest not to burst out uncontrollably.

I love touching, squeezing and occasionally biting my dog's (read: any dog's) muzzle. I love the texture and the gummy-ness. I also love how pissed he gets when I do it and sneezes after.

Drink out the carton (your whole family prob does it)

Pretend to be texting to look popular in public

right click refresh on desktop. Repeat

When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

I pee on the bathroom sink everytime, because I am lazy to open the toilet, even when I visit other people, sorry friends and family =)

When two people in my house are arguing, I stay in my room to avoid awkwardly interrupting them and being dragged into it.

wake up in the middle of the night and write your dream if you like it. Or just write all night and dont sleep all night for days at a time.

Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

taking your t shirt or sweatshirt off quickly so nothing gets you while its over your face

When I'm in a car and I hear a song on the radio, I always imagine myself performing it perfectly in front of a crowd even though I know I'd never be able to do that. I've done this since I was very young and still do.

Guessing on those annoying Captcha things and then getting unnecessarily angry when it tells you you're wrong.

Wake up after a dream. About a day later you think about if it was real or not.

Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.