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Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.
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-89
Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry
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-93
Put my hands together the 'other' way
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-95
If I get lost while driving, the first thing I do is turn down the radio.
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+46
accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep
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+22
make it a point of interest to know every word to a song that nobody likes. (i.e. call me maybe) >.>
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+20
imagine killing someone by accident and feeling really guilty about it.
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+16
I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man
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+16
While in the shower, after ive used soap and stuff i turn the water to cold and i pretend im on fear factor and close my eyes so i cannot see what i am trying to get while crawling through freezing cold water
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+14
Anytime I walk in anyplace with cracks in the ground (tiled floors, cement squares, etc.) I do my best to avoid stepping on cracks in fear of something happening if I do.
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+10
I wonder if sport games are rigged?
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+8
When no one is home, I poop with the door open, just because I can.
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+8
when you're in the car, look outside and count every single lamp-post until the car stops
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+6
When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.
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+4
Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.
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+4
When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.
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+2
Be best friends with someone and tell them all your secrets and then they become best friends with someone else and you hope they won't tell your secrets
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+2
log out of any social network sites so that when im on a website it doesnt somehow send messages to my profile
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+2
browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter
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+2
hover over public toilets and end up leaving a sprinkling of pee that lands uniformly all over on the seat then use a big wad of TP and my foot to wipe down the seat.
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+2
Pretend to listen to music, but just do it so nobody talks to me or i simply just ignore them.
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I love touching, squeezing and occasionally biting my dog's (read: any dog's) muzzle. I love the texture and the gummy-ness. I also love how pissed he gets when I do it and sneezes after.
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-2
When it's as quiet as possible in the classroom in the middle of the period and everyone is silently doing their work.... I suddenly think of something REALLY funny and spend the next half hour awkwardly grinning trying my hardest not to burst out uncontrollably.
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-2
Pretend to be texting to look popular in public
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-4
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Things You Think Only You Do
A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.