- Things You Think Only You Do

I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

Never step on manholes, because I'm afraid to fall in.

Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

Sometimes when someone says something to me, I will hear them perfectly clear, but I will instinctively say "what?"

Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

Walking into a room to do something, and then forgetting what you were gonna do.

Go for a 10 mile run.

Going to the very last pages of "Things you think you only do" with the lowest ratings and realizing that they really are the only ones who do that stuff...

Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

When theres a car just like yours right next to your car in the parking lot you almoat always gravitate to that car instead. It's the worst when there people in the car and you keep trying to open it.

I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

whenever i'm holding a kitchen knife, i feel super weird like i'm gonna stab someone.... its not like i would ever do that, but i think about what would happen if i just impaled the person that is standing near me with a huge knife.

Say something smart in class, then worry your friends will rip ony uo for it half way through saying it, so end it by saying "or something like that."

If I'm at work and have to poop, when I get in the stall I look under the opening at the bottom for any other feet in the other stalls to make sure I am alone. I always think what if when I do that someone else does it at the same time.

try to make myself sneeze because I like the feeling I get when I do

Sometimes I get annoyed when I realize none of my friends ever eat vegetables or drink anything but sugary soda`s and are somehow as healthy, sometimes even healthier than me.

When no one is home, I poop with the door open, just because I can.

when you're in the car, look outside and count every single lamp-post until the car stops

Use my phone to see what time it is

I hit the frig after sex

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.