Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

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Opening the fridge door, then trying to accomplish pouring a drink, before the door seals itself forever leaving the cola to the mercy of the outside world.

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In the shower i let water run down my hands so it looks like i'm shooting water out of my fingers.

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Learning a definition of a word and after that seeing it everywhere.

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I wonder if elections are rigged?

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Whenever I get sweaty I put baby powder around my groin area and under arms. Ramos

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Taking your headphones/earbuds off a lot to see if your music is playing loudly. Or to see if other people could possibly hear it

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Wanting to change your name to Peter Jankins

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When I see a post on this site with a single downvote I start to feel guilty and give the person an upvote because I feel sorry for them.

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Feel like something is behind you/watching you, run to your room super quickly and get into the room before that something gets you

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When I was a kid and I misbehaved when my dad used to smack me I would put emphasis in my cries to let him think that I got the lesson.

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When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

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get some of the lyrics to a song wrong. you know theyre wrong, but continue to sing the wrong words anyway, because the real words just don't seem to fit.

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I put the volume on my television so it is on any number divisible by five (5-10-15 etc. etc.)

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Sometimes I find myself staring at the television only to realize its off.

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fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

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When ever i watch a movie with my parents i hope to god there is no nudity or awkward sex talk

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Stop at the beginning of an escalator, and let the stairs drag you forward by just your toes.

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Try to figure out if some of the posts were written by the same person.

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i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

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turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

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Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

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I make sims of everyone I know and make them have kids together.

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Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.