Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

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Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

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When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

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Wondering if your life is a TV show, and people are watching what you do.

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think of who i would kill if i found out i only had a few weeks to live. i.e. sickest criminal alive.

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feel like your calculator is judging/making fun of you for looking up simple equations

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I doodle on everything I get that can be doodled on, even my exams :)

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Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

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Say something smart in class, then worry your friends will rip ony uo for it half way through saying it, so end it by saying "or something like that."

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when you're in the car, look outside and count every single lamp-post until the car stops

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When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

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I never take drinks into smelly places, out of fear that the smell will somehow get into my drink and contaminate the taste.

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Use my phone to see what time it is

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I hit the frig after sex

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I like to eat tomato soup and peanut butter sandwiches...its not as gross as it sounds

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A lot of times I believe things I see or things that happen are "signs" of something.

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Trying to figure out what form of suicide would hurt the least.

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Listening to a song, thinking about having the life of the singer in the band

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TV turned on just so... Makes you not feeling alone or because some other unknown (or) irrational reason.And of course, feeling guilty cause you spending energy and money but still... Most of the time you just don't care.

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I see something glittery, someone tells me not to pick it up because I'll glitter all over myself, I pick it up anyway and glitter all over myself.

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Whenever i do something bad to someone I can't stop smiling even though i never wanted to smile in the first place and i feel like people think I'm a terrible person

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.