I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

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When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

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Anytime I walk in anyplace with cracks in the ground (tiled floors, cement squares, etc.) I do my best to avoid stepping on cracks in fear of something happening if I do.

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Love the natural smell of my dog's paws.

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I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

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Stab myself on a daily basis

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I can't step on the cracks of sidewalks.

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when you're in the car, look outside and count every single lamp-post until the car stops

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If I'm at work and have to poop, when I get in the stall I look under the opening at the bottom for any other feet in the other stalls to make sure I am alone. I always think what if when I do that someone else does it at the same time.

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Getting over excited when you hear a song you like on the radio, even though you have it on your Ipod and can listen to it whenever you want.

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Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.

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When I can't find my phone so I panic and shearch everywhere only to find out it was in my pocket.

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always get sports injuries, never get any attention from them

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When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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Sing along to the radio in the car then stop at a red light when you realize other people can see you more easily.

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I think any disasterous accidents will not happen to me.

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When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

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When playing a game you refer to the kid you don't know as "kid" - ar2

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When I am making submissions to this site I sometimes accidentally put them in the comment section

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Sometimes, for no real reason, I'll make strange or funny noises when no one is around.

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Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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When two people in my house are arguing, I stay in my room to avoid awkwardly interrupting them and being dragged into it.

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Being in the car and wondering if your parents can read your mind so you think "If you can here me cough in 3, 2, 1..." Sometimes my dad actually does it and he looks back at me and smiles. .-.

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I get more creeped out the more I read the comments here, especially as the comments start getting really low thumbs ups.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.