I watch American football with the sound down low because the announcers are always trying to tell us that we didn't see what we just saw when the referees make bad calls

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Walk next to someone so you don't look too lonely.

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When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

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Turn off light in bed... notice something you haven't seen before. IT'S SLENDERMAN You turn the light back on and realized it was a lamp

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Put the towel near the shower so that you can stand on it and not get the floor wet

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Run back into your room when your microwaving something

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I never side with the majority (if given a choice.)

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Sleep in your jeans because you think it feels comfortable in the morning.

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When I dry my hair after showering I put a towel on my head and look at the mirror pretending I am a mighty naked sheik.

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Dutch oven myself when I'm lying in bed trying to sleep

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Being in the car and wondering if your parents can read your mind so you think "If you can here me cough in 3, 2, 1..." Sometimes my dad actually does it and he looks back at me and smiles. .-.

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sometimes when I'm eating, I eat with the opposite side of my mouth. just to be fair to it.

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Check my underwear for any sh!t from farts (yes, sometimes my shit comes with a fart) captcha: royal flush

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I wear my boxers so I can poop through the pee hole

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When I'm in a car and I hear a song on the radio, I always imagine myself performing it perfectly in front of a crowd even though I know I'd never be able to do that. I've done this since I was very young and still do.

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Reading all these posts and being reminded that we are all more similar to each other than we think, regardless of whatever group each of us may belong to.

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Read posts on this website and realize there are a lot of weirdos in the world.

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After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

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My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

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i leave tv on when i sleep...cant close it cause i hate to hear....noices...in my bedroom that cant identify......

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When i go into a public toilet and one of the cubical doors is slightly shut, I will be really quiet or slightly push the door to see if anyone is in there.

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Make a little song with tiny breaths out of your nose

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Worry a lot about the efficiency of your path when walking.

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When I'm at home alone, I feel like people are watching me through my windows, so I act completely civil.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.