Constantly looking up at a Facebook tab while on another tab to see if you have any notifications or messages.

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When ever i hear music that i like i imagine im in a fight and i know martial arts with people i dont know

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When I wake up after having a good dream I try to remember it but I don't

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When I look at a clear blue sky, I'm convinced that I see little tiny floaty things, and think that I'm seeing air molecules.

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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I thought the 2013 film Frozen could have gone longer

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When you're out for a run, you pretend that someone is chasing after you so you run harder.

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I probably am the only one who does this but I climb on my cat's cat tree to see what it's like to be a cat o.o

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I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

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Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

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When a passneger in the car, I sing songs in my head and hope the song is in time with the signs and streetlights as I drive past them.

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When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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Whenever you make cereal, you eat exactly where you make it like on the table.

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I talk to inanimate objects daily.

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Sometimes when I look at a clock the seconds hand ticks backwards

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That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

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only read the short jokes on this website

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When A situation Doesn't go how I wanted it to go, It annoys me so much I sometimes shit in my hands and clap.

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use tweezers to pull out leg hair or armpit hair out of sheer boredom.

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in a grocery store, only walking on the colored single tiles the entire time your in there pretending there small cliffs without touching the white one otherwise you fall and fail.

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i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

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Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

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I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.