Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

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trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

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Left alone Big noise, people aren't expected back as soon so grab baseball bat and charge only to find them back early...."what you doing?" "batting my socks around practising my baseball skills"

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Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

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I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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If I get lost while driving, the first thing I do is turn down the radio.

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing.

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Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

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When you lie in bed and imagine scenarios that will never happen.

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When no one is home, I poop with the door open, just because I can.

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Sometimes after a long, hard day or when something bad happens I just sit down and cry in the shower.

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try to only take one step on each sidewalk square.

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I always try to play it cool and act like it’s no big deal. But I always have a mini anxiety attack before actually stepping onto a moving escalator. It is a task trying to time my step perfectly where my foot isn’t hanging off a step and I have to hurry my second foot on there isn’t an awdward space of steps between my feet. -Ikka

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I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

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Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

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Listening to more obscure music in a public place and turning it up in hopes that someone will ask you what you're listening to and you can tell them about it/open their minds.

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Going to sleep during class thinking that you've written down all your notes, until you wake up and realize you did nothing.

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While talking on the phone you can't think of anything to say then it gets awkwardly quiet

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I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

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Watched the woman in black then go to bed then suddenly a woman in black comes in my room oh wait it is just my mum saying good night

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When I was little I used to cover myself all the way up and put pillows around me, then ask my sister if she could see me, trying to be invisible when I sleep just in case someone breaks into my house at night.

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Sometimes I feel that my reflection in the mirror will stop doing what I'm doing and either jump out and grab me, start telling me about her reflected life, or give me a mission to free her from her mirror life.

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I sleep in my underpants every single night

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.