HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

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Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

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I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

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Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

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If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

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When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

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I wonder what it wonder be like to have a really tall girlfriend?

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log out of any social network sites so that when im on a website it doesnt somehow send messages to my profile

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I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

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thinking "what if people can read my mind" then cant stop thinking dirty things about people around me

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Feeling sorry for inanimate objects

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Imagine flying things and epic battles when listening to music.

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Can't stop tears from comeing to your eyes when singing

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Taking your headphones/earbuds off a lot to see if your music is playing loudly. Or to see if other people could possibly hear it

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Rub a pen tip between my fingers.

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Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

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When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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When you have the " If I'm on an elevator and it breaks and is about to crash at the bottom, and I jump up before it does, will I live?" thought.

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After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

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I **** with no hands.

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Laying in bed at a friends place with your eyes closed imaging where you would end up if you got up and went to the toilet as if it was your own house.

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When you're scared of the bathroom and you close your eyes you quickly look around to check if there's a monster or something in the mirror

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Lightly touching your stomach or other body parts with your fingers to get that tickling sensation.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.