Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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See a sexy girl, wanna go up and talk to her....cant think of anything cool to say and afraid of denial. Just me?

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try to get abs by doing the stupidest things

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Write b as d and d as b or p as q and q as p. I mostly write b as d and d as b since I've learned the alphabet. Trying not to do that now

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after switching lights..i go run as hard as i could do after reaching the bed

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.don't like something because being scared that it appears on my wall.

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I have to stop the Microwave on 0 but before it beeps or I'm not going to get what I want in life. OCD MUCH

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When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

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Race the microwave. Not literally, by the way.

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When i close the refrigiator door, i re-open it and give it a good shove to make sure it tight.

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Writing/ Typing "wemon" to represent more than 1 women, but then realizing that it's not actually a word...

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When the car ride is silent, I wink with my right eye when I pass a sign on the right, and the opposite for the left. And then when there's a double yellow line, I close my eyes.

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Shake my hands frantically back and forth when watching the microwave count down or the printer print, as if it will make them go faster.

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When listening to headphones, I automatically start lip syncing the lyrics... But stop doing it when people look at me funny..

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I like to eat grilled cheese with ketchup

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When walking in a pub or a mall or any place which has music playing, I walk along with the beats thinking that I will look super cool doing that!

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Hatch an escape plan as soon as my date starts to complain about anything.

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I push the door open with my stomach

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every timee i type a messege to some 1 in chat i imaging what the othe person looks like-jesse

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Pour cereal. Realize there is no milk. You really want cereal so you try it with water. Realize that was a bad idea.

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when you are waiting for something to load, you go "please,please,pleas,please,please,please...." and the when it finally finishes you yell "YES!" OF COURSE, ONLY WHEN YOUR ALONE.

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cut corners when walking not because it's faster, but because it's more efficient

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Laughing at a joke that you dont think is funny but everybody else does

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when i'm in a really good mood i think everybody is watching and admiring me

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.