DIY LOL
Clarksonisms
Funny Tip Jars
Objectiface
Scumbag Steve
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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine
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-42
I still put my thumb in my mouth, BUT only because I like the feel of putting my eye lashes under my fingernails and my thumb inconveniantly fits in my mouth. Now I know I'm the only person in the world who does this. I'm trying to drop the habit. But it feels so GOOD!
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-23
I spin around in a spot, and then close my eyes and tilt my head up and to the opposite side i'm spinning to. It just feels awesome and it's even better while listening to music.
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-25
Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.
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-41
Not eat French fries because I don't like the taste rather than because they are unhealthy?
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-55
getting really nervous about random white vans that drive by you.
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-57
When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.
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-73
Whenever I watch TV, the volume has to be on multiples of 5. Even if the perfect volume is in between.
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-26
when im alone i pretend to sniper zombies out my bedroom window
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-28
Mares really turn me on, so I download "bad stuff" Ironically though, I worked at a farm last summer and realized there is nothing more disgusting than reality. Still mares turn me on... If on video.
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-34
Play with my own boobs for no reason
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-38
Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there
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-62
Hate when people ask "do you have a bathroom?" It's like "no we crap in the yard!"
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+17
only read the short jokes on this website
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-45
wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings
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-49
log out of any social network sites so that when im on a website it doesnt somehow send messages to my profile
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+8
Use my phone to see what time it is
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Make odd grunting noises and sighs of relief while going #2.
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-20
After eating a sandwich, eat the leftover sesame seeds one-by-one.
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-28
I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.
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-44
not eating the ends of a hotdog.
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-33
I cover the mirror on my bedroom door with a sheet at night, because I think the shadows casted in the mirror are gonna get me.
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-12
listen to madonnas new album
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-42
When someone wants to kill a bug, I'll get insane and catch the bug, then run out and release the bug while saying "NOW YOU'RE FREE!!!!!"
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-88
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Things You Think Only You Do
A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.