Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

See a sexy girl, wanna go up and talk to her....cant think of anything cool to say and afraid of denial. Just me?

try to get abs by doing the stupidest things

Write b as d and d as b or p as q and q as p. I mostly write b as d and d as b since I've learned the alphabet. Trying not to do that now

after switching lights..i go run as hard as i could do after reaching the bed

.don't like something because being scared that it appears on my wall.

I have to stop the Microwave on 0 but before it beeps or I'm not going to get what I want in life. OCD MUCH

When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

Race the microwave. Not literally, by the way.

When i close the refrigiator door, i re-open it and give it a good shove to make sure it tight.

Writing/ Typing "wemon" to represent more than 1 women, but then realizing that it's not actually a word...

When the car ride is silent, I wink with my right eye when I pass a sign on the right, and the opposite for the left. And then when there's a double yellow line, I close my eyes.

Shake my hands frantically back and forth when watching the microwave count down or the printer print, as if it will make them go faster.

When listening to headphones, I automatically start lip syncing the lyrics... But stop doing it when people look at me funny..

I like to eat grilled cheese with ketchup

When walking in a pub or a mall or any place which has music playing, I walk along with the beats thinking that I will look super cool doing that!

Hatch an escape plan as soon as my date starts to complain about anything.

I push the door open with my stomach

every timee i type a messege to some 1 in chat i imaging what the othe person looks like-jesse

Pour cereal. Realize there is no milk. You really want cereal so you try it with water. Realize that was a bad idea.

when you are waiting for something to load, you go "please,please,pleas,please,please,please...." and the when it finally finishes you yell "YES!" OF COURSE, ONLY WHEN YOUR ALONE.

cut corners when walking not because it's faster, but because it's more efficient

Laughing at a joke that you dont think is funny but everybody else does

when i'm in a really good mood i think everybody is watching and admiring me

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.