Not likeing something someone posted because you have a secret crush on them and you don't want them to think you check there Facebook too much.

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Sometimes when I'm laughing really hard I awkwardly clap my hands.

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Stab myself on a daily basis

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I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

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Sleep with pillow between legs

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Multi task while your brushing your teeth and forget you have a tooth brush in your mouth.

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sometimes when i'm talking to myself and someone walks in the room i have to make them believe what i'm saying is a song!!

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play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

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(I have made this mistake mostly when I'm at the movies) When the cashier gives me the ticket and says enjoy the movie because I am so used to people saying have a nice day I say you too!(FACE PALM)

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Tear up when I poop

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Run the shower before you get in/ move out the way of the water to let it warm up first

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Sometimes I toot.

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Being in the car and wondering if your parents can read your mind so you think "If you can here me cough in 3, 2, 1..." Sometimes my dad actually does it and he looks back at me and smiles. .-.

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Be a loner at school

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When buying anything - a book, pint of milk, food, pen - will go to put down the first one you picked up to find a newer one.... Then feel really bad for the other one you put down and go back to that one so it doesn't feel hurt.

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Accidentally scratching a surface and then scratching it again with the tops of your fingernails to even it out.

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I still put my thumb in my mouth, BUT only because I like the feel of putting my eye lashes under my fingernails and my thumb inconveniantly fits in my mouth. Now I know I'm the only person in the world who does this. I'm trying to drop the habit. But it feels so GOOD!

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Sometimes at a red light, I like to look at the person driving next to me and if they look towards me I quickly turn around and pretend I wasn't looking at them.

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Sometimes when I'm watching a sitcom, I get distracted from the jokes because the characters are in a bedroom and I start focusing on the awesome stuff they have.

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Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

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Sometimes when I look at a clock the seconds hand ticks backwards

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When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

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Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.