when im alone i pretend to sniper zombies out my bedroom window

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Criticize a porn novel for its poor use of the English language

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acting as if you can shoot with a banana

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When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

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Tell myself that I'm only going for a 20 minute nap and end up sleeping for 1/+ hour(s)...

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Stop at the beginning of an escalator, and let the stairs drag you forward by just your toes.

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Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

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I make sims of everyone I know and make them have kids together.

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I hold in my shit only because i am soo occupied with my current task.

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Count how many steps there are in a stairwell I use often and then try to take it by same number each time... Eg if there are 16 then always go by twos and missing the others!?!?!?

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When alone at home turn on all the lights before it gets darker.

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Blow into the shower head when I'm taking a shower to make what sounds like jet noises

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Looking at something suggestive on your computer and worrying that someone else in your family can see what you're doing on their computer.

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Write b as d and d as b or p as q and q as p. I mostly write b as d and d as b since I've learned the alphabet. Trying not to do that now

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After reading something from this site, I find myself compelled to try it.

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Hide important things in places at home but forget later where you hid them.

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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Cringe when remembering something weird about you that happened years ago

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Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

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i get an headache when i each cheese. but i don't get one when i have pizza or cheese and onion crisps

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whenever someone pulls up beside you in another car, you are fully aware of them, but never look at them, your too cool to care what they look like.

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in a grocery store, only walking on the colored single tiles the entire time your in there pretending there small cliffs without touching the white one otherwise you fall and fail.

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I can only brush my teeth at exactly 7:43 AM...Am I weird?

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When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.