- Things You Think Only You Do

I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

you know that when things have only one like on this site, the people who wrote it liked it

I hate when my mom hangs my underwear on the clothesline outside.

rub your face on your legs after shaving to feel how smooth they are.

Whenever I think of something creative or weird, I always wonder if someone thought of the same thing.

stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

(okay maybe not a thing I do but something I noticed) When people call themselves "Writers" In today's world you know that might not be the case because we have computers so shouldn't they be called typers?

When someone enters the room while i'm playing a game, start playing the best song of the game soundtrack so they notice it and think the game has a cool soundtrack.

After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

Pretending I'm on my cellphone in public.

Nodding while talking on the phone then remembering the person can't see you

You see someone do something cool and imagine doing it in front of all your friends

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

Sing every word to Bohemian Rhapsody every time you hear it in the most dramatic way possible.

Say something in my head, but then wonder if i said it out loud and just didn't realize.

Tells a joke only you thought was funny and still laughs then laughs harder because your the only one laughing nikki

Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

Pretend I'm a back-up dancer or singing a duet with the singer of the song I'm listening to.

Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

Seeing an acquaintance who you would feel awkward talking to in a public place, knowing they see you as well, and pretending not to see them, while hoping they pretend not to see you as well.

When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.