Walking around on the streets wondering if you are really walking in place, and the earth is spinning according to how you walk, like a treadmill.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

When the font allows it, try to hide the cursor in capital I's.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

thumb_up thumb_down -32

only read the short jokes on this website

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Looking at something suggestive on your computer and worrying that someone else in your family can see what you're doing on their computer.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

fall asleep in the shower.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Every time you use a vending machine you hope you get lucky and 2 things drop down.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

You tell your friends that you hate the Rick roll'd song even though you secretly like it.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

While talking on the phone you can't think of anything to say then it gets awkwardly quiet

thumb_up thumb_down -40

After reading something from this site, I find myself compelled to try it.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Hoping if I fall asleep on the couch while my family is in the room I dont have a dream about sex and wake up moaning and groaning...

thumb_up thumb_down -42

feel like im being watched turn my head sideways and see someone suddenly look away.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Realizing that I can just yell out the word "Fuck!" and no one can stop me.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Sneeze for a few minutes when I've eaten too much.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

thumb_up thumb_down -46

try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

i get an headache when i each cheese. but i don't get one when i have pizza or cheese and onion crisps

thumb_up thumb_down -50

while you put your t-shirt on, you get frightened that someone's watching you behind your shirt so you try to put it on as soon as possible.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.